Worst Joke Ever 2024

[Davo369]

[Davo369]

[fangless]

An Indian is meeting his future wife via an arranged marriage and he father for the first time.

Her father is a heart surgeon.

At one point in the evening, the father pulls the man aside and says,

"There is something you should know about Saanvi before you wed. I am her doctor as well as her father and you need to know that she has acute angina."

To which the future husband replies,

"Oh goodness gracious and thanks to the gods, because her face is pretty ugly."

[fangless]

A husband and a wife over their marriage had eight kids.

 

The husband goes to his wife on her death bed and asks her,

“Honey, I noticed that Billy, our eighth child looks different from the other children, did you have an affair late in life?”

The wife starts to break down into tears and nods her head.

The husband, heartbroken, quietly asks his wife, “So who is Billy’s father?”

With her dying breath she exhales

 

“You. are!”

[fangless]

Einstein and his wife are going through a tough time in their marriage.

 

Einstein: Tell me what you need, I'm here to help.
Wife: I just need two things right now, some space and time.

Einstein: Ok, it's all relative,  so what's the second thing?

Edited November 7, 2020 by fangless

[fangless]

 Marriage

**Before Marriage**

Boy: Ah, finally, I've waited so long.
Girl: You want me to leave?

Boy: No. I dare to not even think about it.
Girl: Do you love me?

Boy: Of course. Lots!
Girl: Have you ever cheated on me?

Boy: No! Why are you asking me?
Girl: Will you kiss me?

Boy: Every time I get the chance!
Girl: Will you ever hit me?

Boy: Are you crazy? Of course not!
Girl: Can I trust you?

Boy: Yes.
Girl: Darling?

**After Marriage**  Just Read it Backwards.

(from the bottom upwards for the marred men!!)

[roo860]

????????????????

[roo860]

[Davo369]

[Davo369]

[Davo369]

[Davo369]

[roo860]

[WorriedNoodle]

[WorriedNoodle]

[WorriedNoodle]

[WorriedNoodle]

[WorriedNoodle]

[WorriedNoodle]

[WorriedNoodle]

[WorriedNoodle]

[WorriedNoodle]

[WorriedNoodle]

[WorriedNoodle]

[WorriedNoodle]

[WorriedNoodle]

Edited November 8, 2020 by WorriedNoodle

[WorriedNoodle]

[ballpoint]

Interviewer: "Give me three words that best describe you."
Job Candidate: "Violent when disappointed."

[sanuk711]

.

[ballpoint]

Last month a world-wide survey was conducted by the UN.
The only question asked was:
"Could you please give your honest opinion about solutions to the food
shortage in the rest of the world?"
The survey was a massive failure because of the following:

1. In Eastern Europe they didn't know what "honest" meant.
2. In Western Europe they didn't know what "shortage" meant.
3. In Africa they didn't know what "food" meant.
4. In China they didn't know what "opinion" meant.
5. In the Middle East they didn't know what "solution" meant.
6. In Israel they didn't know what "please" meant.
7. In the USA they didn't know what "the rest of the world" meant.
8. In the UK they hung up as soon as they heard the Indian accent.