A beautifully structured timeline of utter nonsense — a madman’s greatest hits, carefully arranged in chronological order so we can fully appreciate the steady descent into absurdity. Truly, a masterpiece of chaos unfolding one ridiculous chapter at a time.

Mar 3: "We won the war."

Mar 7: "We defeated Iran."

Mar 9: "We must attack Iran."

Mar 9: "The war is ending almost completely, and very beautifully."

Mar 11: "We must attack Iran."

Mar 12: "We did win, but we haven't won completely yet."

Mar 13: "We won the war."

Mar 14: "Please help us."

Mar 15: "If you don't help us, I will certainly remember it."

Mar 16: "Actually, we don't need any help at all."

Mar 16: "I was just testing to see who's listening to me."

Mar 16: "If NATO doesn't help, they will suffer something very bad."

Mar 17: "We neither need nor want NATO's help."

Mar 17: "I don't need Congressional approval to withdraw from NATO."

Mar 18: "Our allies must cooperate in reopening the Strait of Hormuz."

Mar 19: "US allies need to get a grip - step up and help open the Strait of Hormuz."

Mar 20: "NATO are cowards."

Mar 21: "The Strait of Hormuz must be protected by the countries that use it. We don't use it, we don't need to open it."

Mar 22: "This is the last time. I will give Iran 48 hours. Open the strait"

Mar 22: "Iran is Dead"

Mar 23: "We had very good and productive talks with Iran."

Mar 24: "We’re making progress."

Mar 25: No major quote

Mar 26: "Make a deal, or we’ll just keep blowing them away."

Mar 27: "We don’t have to be there for NATO."

Mar 28: No major quote

Mar 29: Claimed talks were progressing

Mar 30: "Open the Strait of Hormuz immediately, or face devastating consequences."

Mar 31: Claimed a deal was "very close" and that Iran would "do the right thing"

Apr 1: "We’ll see what happens very soon."

Apr 2: Repeated that a deal was likely, while warning of continued strikes if not

Apr 3: "Something big is going to happen."

Apr 4: Said Iran must comply "immediately" or face further consequences

Apr 5: "Open the f****n' Strait, you crazy ba****ds, or you'll be living in Hell - JUST WATCH! Praise be to Allah."

Wise words Chewbacca.......

.

Loved that show!

Mother, father, and son were having dinner, and the son wouldn't eat his sprouts.

Mother says: "Son, eat your sprouts." The son shouted, "NO!" Father leans over and whispers in the boy's ear.

The boy quickly eats his sprouts and goes to his room.

The mother says: "What did you say to him?"

Father says: "I told him his willy wouldn't grow any bigger if he didn't eat them!" Mother slaps father around the head, and he asks: "What was that for?"

"For not eating your sprouts when you were a child."