camerata Posted May 23, 2004 Share Posted May 23, 2004 Girls, how do you feel about getting hit on by guys in public places. My GF (who is super-cute and doesn't particularly look Thai) sometimes gets hit on by farang guys (and occasionally Thai lesbians!) when she's alone reading a book in places like Starbucks. And I sometimes see farang guys hitting on young Japanese and Chinese women in Starbucks and hotel restaurant buffets in Bangkok. Doesn't this kind of thing bug you? I think it would bug me! Or does it depend on the guy, his approach, and whether you have/haven't a Significant Other at the time? I got hit on myself a couple of years ago (before I met the GF, I hasten to add). It was on my first visit to Osaka at one of those British-style pubs where the menu is all in Japanese and nobody speaks English. I sat down at a table with my fish n' chips and watched in amazement as an attractive Japanese girl walked passed an American businessman and he said to her, "Have you just come down from heaven?" Noting her puzzled expression he continued, "... because you look like an angel to me!" She got her drink and walked off. Jesus H. Christ! Do guys use corny lines like that? But I digress. Within 10 minutes the two girls at the next table started talking to me in sub-basic English. They quickly invited themselves to my table. I don't speak a word of Japanese and their English was almost unintelligible, so they pulled out an electronic translator and we communicated by typing words into the translator and reading the display. One of the girls went off and talked to a sleazy Iranian guy. The one with long hair sat closer to me. Her friend came back, after which the Iranian kept looking at us and looking at his watch. I bought them a beer. They bought me a beer. Conversation was difficult. I asked the long-haired one what her hobbies were. She said badminton. Her friend said, "And sex." OK, now I was getting the picture: the three of us and the Iranian were supposed to go somewhere together. Since I wasn't attracted to either of them, I finished my beer and told them I was going back to my hotel to pack for my morning flight. The long-haired one followed me up the stairs and out into the middle of the alleyway where she threw herself into my arms like we were long-lost lovers. She said she would be sorry if I left. For a second - as her hair brushed against my cheek - I started having second thoughts. But then I had a vision of us in some tacky backstreet "love hotel" and me frantically looking up "condom" on her electronic translator. No thanks! Perhaps it would have been different if there had been some chemistry, better communication, and if I'd known more about Osaka etiquette in these things. But as it was, it seemed like two girls cruising for sex on their Friday night out and any old farang would do. I felt... well... almost offended. Is this how you girls feel when you're hit on in a place where you're minding your own business? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boo Posted May 23, 2004 Share Posted May 23, 2004 Hi Camerata, That is one of the funniest stories I've heard, good for you though, for using your big brain & not the small one! It can get a bit tedious when your out & about & some guy, farang or thai, comes up to you with the crappiest chat up lines ever, unfortuntly, the farang guys have the worst as they are so obvious & sometimes downright blatent. The thai guys tend to use the oldies, which a lot thai men working in a beach resort all use!(is there a special school, i wonder, where they learn!) Do you have a light? etc & then hover for ages plucking up the corouge to ask you another question, then it's usually some crap like, where you come from, how long you stay etc. In fact my thai friends used to make a song up about it, with one guy (Thai married to a thai women) often getting on stage & singing the where you come from song. The lyrics are this... Where youuuuu come frooommmmmm How old are youuuuuu How long you stayyyyyy Where your bungalowwwww Do you wnat to go beach with meeeeeee You very prettyyyyyyyyy & thats the whole song. (you had to have drunk copious amounts of whiskey & been there to appriciate the song!) but it was so funny cause every farang girl in our group has heard this line at least 10k times in that exact order & my thai mates used to find it hysterical when some thai bloke would slide up to one of us in a bar, casue they knew what was comning! I mean how many times do you have to stay, England, mid twenties, 5 years, don't have one, I have a house, no, yeah right, thanks. It was never really flattering & sometimes hard to explain that you just werent interested, thanks, the farang guys would take it usually in good humour but a bit suprised, I mean what girl wouldn't take up an offer of, "fancy coming to my bunbgalow for a shag/going full moon & getting shit faced"? & the thai guys mostly took the reply of Mai Ow Ka, very well, all though on occasion thai mates have had to have a word cause there would always be one pissed up guy who obviously didn't know the word no, even when spoken in their own language. All in all chat up lines from anyone are naff, whats wrong with a simple hello, can i buy you a drink/coffee etc & trying to have a nice conversation & if the lady declines, take it in good humour & move on? If your g/fs really that cute, no matter what she says or does she will always get unwanted attention but as long as she learns a few key deflection lines & you both keep a sense of humour about it & be happy together it will have to be something you have to deal with, or else get a really ugly g/f (joke) But, you can't knock people for trying, thats how the human race continues, if no one made the first move, we'd all be single but I agree that the level of attempting could be raised a few notches by some of the world population! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bluecat Posted May 23, 2004 Share Posted May 23, 2004 Doesn't this kind of thing bug you? I think it would bug me! It does not bug me at all. I love to be hit on. But of course the subsequent duration of the encounter depends on many factors,... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Axel Posted May 23, 2004 Share Posted May 23, 2004 Camerata, funny, but not uncommon. I would say you are complaining about 'sekuharra' which is the Japanese word for sexual harrassment. Another, not so 'public' approach is through the phone which rings quite often 10 minutes after I checked in. Somebody apologizes but ask me if she may practise her English. Usually, this is in the afternoons in 4-5 star hotels, i.e. before the hotel-guards are discreetly setting up the night watch. Guess the front desk staff do have some side business. I never mind to help some poor young student to improve her English, albeit feel sorry for the poorer English-teachers who might lose an hourly fee or so (for teaching!) Sure one feels 'hit', especially when I need the phone and expect some urgent business info. In Bangkok, go to Soi 5 off Sukhumvit (no commericals it's a big pub) Try to drink your beer alone, unless you close your eyes - impossible. See it positive, these girls are not forced as so many complain in here, or are they? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camerata Posted May 23, 2004 Author Share Posted May 23, 2004 But, you can't knock people for trying, thats how the human race continues, if no one made the first move, we'd all be single but I agree that the level of attempting could be raised a few notches by some of the world population! I guess my complaint is that girls have to put up with this in a situation where they are clearly not looking for it. If you go to a disco at the weekend, you expect everyone to be hitting on everyone else. But generally people reading books at midday in Starbucks aren't waiting to get picked up (as far as I know!). Last week I was at a buffet at a 5-star hotel restaurant. There were two very smart Chinese girls nearby. My guess is they wouldn't expect to be hassled in a place like that, but after a short time one of a group of middle-aged Russian men at the next table walked over and did his best to chat them up. There was much smiling and vigorous shaking of heads before he gave up. Seems like a real pain in the butt if you go out for a quiet evening with friends and have to fight off guys wanting to put another notch in their belt. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bluecat Posted May 23, 2004 Share Posted May 23, 2004 But generally people reading books at midday in Starbucks aren't waiting to get picked up (as far as I know!). Jeez, fortunately you told me. Next time I go to Starbucks, I won't be reading,... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camerata Posted May 23, 2004 Author Share Posted May 23, 2004 Camerata, funny, but not uncommon.I would say you are complaining about 'sekuharra' which is the Japanese word for sexual harrassment. Heh heh... I don't think I actually considered my own experience in Osaka as sexual harrassment, but if I was a girl and had to put up with the same thing regularly I think I'd soon get pretty p*ssed off. I've since been to Japan many times and it's obvious that foreign guys consider women in international-style pubs to be fair game. But I've never seen any of them score, so I doubt the Japanese feel the same way. On the other hand, Japan is a pretty strange place. I once saw an advert for a disco that said: "Free entry for foreigners and transvestites." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boo Posted May 23, 2004 Share Posted May 23, 2004 I agree camerata, but now that in the west they are encouraging singles nights in supermarkets & gyms, i think no place is off limits. You also have to think about the unfortuate stereotype that thailand (& her women) has & maybe those russian guys thought the asian women were working girls. (sad but true) There no excuse though for bad breeding & I feel sorry for any women who is just going about her business & getting harrassed by men & even when they decline, usually politley as I have seen many thai women do, the guy in questions still has no courtesy & keeps trying. Have you ever considered giving your g/f a can of mace! Joke, but sometimes for women it can be very threateneing when a guy just can't accept a no & getting out of it, unfortunatly, sometimes just involves leaving the place & going somewhere else. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bluecat Posted May 23, 2004 Share Posted May 23, 2004 it's obvious that foreign guys consider women in international-style pubs to be fair game. Come on, Camerata. A lot of men consider girls to be fair game whatever the "setting" and a lot of girls consider the same (albeit often more "subtly"),... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boo Posted May 23, 2004 Share Posted May 23, 2004 Bluecat Posted: Sun 2004-05-23, 10:34:59 QUOTE (camerata @ Sun 2004-05-23, 17:25:27) But generally people reading books at midday in Starbucks aren't waiting to get picked up (as far as I know!). Jeez, fortunately you told me. Next time I go to Starbucks, I won't be reading,... Blue, your such a tart Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bluecat Posted May 23, 2004 Share Posted May 23, 2004 Jeez, fortunately you told me.Next time I go to Starbucks, I won't be reading,... Blue, your such a tart Boo, please, if you go to Starbucks, don't read. A whole world of new experiences will open up to you,... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nat Posted May 23, 2004 Share Posted May 23, 2004 If your g/fs really that cute, no matter what she says or does she will always get unwanted attention but as long as she learns a few key deflection lines & you both keep a sense of humour about it & be happy together it will have to be something you have to deal with, or else get a really ugly g/f (joke) Reminds me of that Jimmy Soul song: “If you wanna be happy for the rest of your life, Never make a pretty woman your wife, So from my personal point of view, Get an ugly woman to marry you”. Being hit on can be very flattering, as we all like to feel wanted and attractive. However, as a female I think it depends on how it’s done, otherwise it can feel a little uncomfortable. I have a bad habit of smiling too much and being polite, which can be inviting to normal people, but also results in unwanted attention from freaks (Boo can confirm this as she’s been teaching me the deflection techniques ). By the way Boo, tried using some yesterday on a thai bloke following me around a store – didn’t work, so had to outmaneuver him with some fancy footwork round the aisles, before heading for the exit and jumping in the first cab. I guess for some it can be a little annoying when it happens in a place you don’t expect, but if it’s from someone that’s caught your eye than it can be quite nice . Actually if anything I get embarrassed in these situations as feel like I’ve been caught off guard (so to speak). It happened to me the other week at the oz embassy, when one of the security guards took a fancy to me and made quite a spectacle – am now too embarrassed to return to my own embassy . When it comes to corny lines I must admit some do make me laugh, such as “Do you believe in love at first sight.....or would you like me to walk past again” . Depending on the delivery I’d at least have a chat with the person as they seem to have a sense of humour. People will crack on to people everywhere, it’s just a personal thing whether it bothers you or not. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bluecat Posted May 23, 2004 Share Posted May 23, 2004 Being hit on can be very flattering, as we all like to feel wanted and attractive. When are you going to Starbucks, Nat? And of course, which one? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gisele Posted May 23, 2004 Share Posted May 23, 2004 Girls, how do you feel about getting hit on by guys in public places. ... Doesn't this kind of thing bug you? I think it would bug me! Or does it depend on the guy, his approach, and whether you have/haven't a Significant Other at the time? It depends on the situation. If I am at a bar with friends then it's part of the scene and it doesn't bug me, but if I am not interested, politely refuse an advance and the gentleman still doesn't back off then that bugs me. As an example, I play 8 ball at a pool club in Beijing, the Chinese men are quite respectful and will ask politely for a game and if I am practicing shots and don't fancy a game they will leave me alone. However, there are several men from Nigeria and Ghana who have recently been hanging out at the club since they don't have jobs yet (football players waiting for a contract). These guys do not take no for an answer, they can't seem to believe I am not interested. It makes me feel uncomfortable. So, yes, it depends on the guy and the approach. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bluecat Posted May 23, 2004 Share Posted May 23, 2004 It makes me feel uncomfortable. I think it would make anybody feels uncomfortable. Trust has to be earned, not forced upon somebody,... But of course, in girl/boy relationships, sometimes, chemically induced unbalances steal the show,... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gisele Posted May 23, 2004 Share Posted May 23, 2004 It makes me feel uncomfortable. I think it would make anybody feels uncomfortable. Trust has to be earned, not forced upon somebody,... But of course, in girl/boy relationships, sometimes, chemically induced unbalances steal the show,... When an advance is not welcomed and the gentleman doesn't take no for an answer, then something is most definately not balanced As for corny lines, I don't usually mind them, these can be humourous and a good ice breaker but for me it's really more a question of approach. If the lines are accompanied with a pushy attitude then that's not pleasant. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bluecat Posted May 23, 2004 Share Posted May 23, 2004 When an advance is not welcomed and the gentleman doesn't take no for an answer, First rule of marketing/sales, Gisele: never take no for an answer,... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gisele Posted May 23, 2004 Share Posted May 23, 2004 When an advance is not welcomed and the gentleman doesn't take no for an answer, First rule of marketing/sales, Gisele: never take no for an answer,... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bluecat Posted May 23, 2004 Share Posted May 23, 2004 When an advance is not welcomed and the gentleman doesn't take no for an answer, First rule of marketing/sales, Gisele: never take no for an answer,... But I of course agree. Easier said than done. And probably most of us (male gender) would get very angry far faster than you do. This is why we love you,... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sbk Posted May 23, 2004 Share Posted May 23, 2004 Interesting conversation for an old married lady like myself Usually, I am with my husband and that pretty much deflects any unwanted attention. We are very clearly married, as opposed to the idea that he is our tourist guide whenever any of my family or friends come to visit , so nobody bothers me. Usually I only get it in the US when I have gone out with my sister, we hear the usual "I'll bet you two are sisters, huh?" So original I do remember waaay back to singleton days and getting hit on was only annoying when a) the guy was clearly a creep or I was with friends and having fun with them or c) the guy wouldn't take no for an answer. Nowadays the appearance of hubby makes all this a distant memory! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Axel Posted May 23, 2004 Share Posted May 23, 2004 Interesting conversation for an old married lady like myself I accept the married, I do accept the lady-part but what is old? Perhaps, I am old, whereever I go, nobody wants to check my ID-card for age identification. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elsie Posted May 23, 2004 Share Posted May 23, 2004 Girls, how do you feel about getting hit on by guys in public places.... Doesn't this kind of thing bug you? I think it would bug me! Or does it depend on the guy, his approach, and whether you have/haven't a Significant Other at the time? There are times I've been hit on when I go out, either with my friend or by myself. As I've got no place in my heart for anyone else, it can be annoying. My darling and I have been in different countries for so long. So, I have to go here and there by myself most of the time. But then again, it can be humourous at times too. Totally depends on the guy and his approach. But looks like many guys out there have no idea how to approach a woman. I went out to my favourite bar the other night by myself, and there was this guy flirting with a bunch of girls around me. And I begged God to keep him away from me. Didn't work.. my dear Lord was probably too busy that night answering to others' prayers. So, this guy tried various ways to get my attention while dancing with those girls. Basically, he flew from one to another.. and still tried to get my attention. I just smiled politely and turned my back to him. He didn't get it and kept bugging me. While I was sending an email to my dear on my mobile, he even looked over my shoulder and saw darling's picture on my mobile screen. He said "Oh not good for you.. busy with mobile.. you know I'm not him (pointing at my mobile).. don't worry.." (Obviously, English was not his mother tongue) Then he left me for a while just to come back to say that "You go with me, I will not charge money." SAID WHAT?!? I still can't believe it happened to a Thai woman. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camerata Posted May 23, 2004 Author Share Posted May 23, 2004 When are you going to Starbucks, Nat? And of course, which one? From my observation, the branches where it's not safe to read a book alone are Central Chidlom, Sogo and Emporium. Come to think of it, one time I was sitting in the Chilom branch, a Hispanic-looking lady looked up from the magazine she was reading and asked me the meaning of the word "limbs." Could that have been a come-on? I spluttered, "arms and legs," gulped down the rest of my quiche and left in a hurry. Too weird for me... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Basher Posted May 23, 2004 Share Posted May 23, 2004 Ha Ha great story Lovely, so cool you were hit on and by a Mooker (male Hooker) I am still laughing, what did you do, cooly turn away or kick him where it hurts? Bash Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elsie Posted May 23, 2004 Share Posted May 23, 2004 Ha Ha great story Lovely, so cool you were hit on and by a Mooker (male Hooker) I am still laughing, what did you do, cooly turn away or kick him where it hurts? Bash I'm still shocked to these days, Bash. That's probably the weirdest night out in my whole life. Anyway, I just gave him the bugger-off look and left. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Axel Posted May 23, 2004 Share Posted May 23, 2004 LC (or Elsie) do not venture out so far away from home. The world out there is dangerous. Now, while your darling is busy doing somehting somewhere, just look around. Meet a guy like me. Take a picture (of course) put it in the newpapers and we all be happy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Basher Posted May 23, 2004 Share Posted May 23, 2004 Was he cute? maybe you could have ... you know, done the dirty and had a greeaeaeeat time.... just speculating sweetheart.... Bash Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elsie Posted May 23, 2004 Share Posted May 23, 2004 Bash, the problem was he was not even cute. Now.. If he looked like rainman... Axel, yes the world is too dangerous out there. So, next time, I will switch my ring to my wedding finger. It worked sometimes before. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Basher Posted May 23, 2004 Share Posted May 23, 2004 Sweetheart, we all can't shake the attraction can we...., you look good they come a flocking (is that a word??) Right now in Phuket I am a 'Handsum man'... I love this time of the year, next month I will be Adonis, or at least my wallet will be... Who cares!! Whoo Hoo!!! It's a great life Bash Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rainman Posted May 24, 2004 Share Posted May 24, 2004 The places i get hit on most are CoffeeWorld (is that the name? not sure now), Robinsons too, but the worst is the cinema complex in MBK on weekend evenings. Doesn't bug me too much, many times its funny. The only time it bothers me is if someone sits at my table without first asking. And yeah, guys do use cheesy pickup lines, everywhere in the world. I apologize to all women who had to endure them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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