Idiots Of 2006

[Jamesyboi]

Number One Idiot of 2006

I am a medical student currently doing a rotation in toxicology at the

poison control center.

Today, this woman called in very upset because she caught her little

daughter eating ants. I quickly reassured her that the ants are not

harmful and there would be no need to bring her daughter into the

hospital. She calmed down and at the end of the conversation happened to

mention that she gave her daughter some ant poison to eat in order to

kill the ants. I told her that she better bring her daughter into the

emergency room right away.

Here's your sign, lady. Wear it with pride.

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Number Two Idiot of 2006

Early this year, some Boeing employees on the airfield decided to steal

a life raft from one of the 747s. They were successful in getting it out

of the plane and home. Shortly after they took it for a float on the

river, they noticed a Coast Guard helicopter coming towards them. It

turned out that the chopper was homing in on the emergency locator

beacon that activated when the raft was inflated. They are no longer

employed at Boeing.

Here's your sign, guys. Don't get it wet; the paint might run.

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Number Three Idiot of 2006

A man, wanting to rob a downtown Bank of America, walked into the branch

and wrote, "this iz a stikkup. Put all your muny in this bag."

While standing in line, waiting to give his note to the teller, he began

to worry that someone had seen him write the note and might call the

police before he reached the teller's window. So he left the Bank of

America and crossed the street to the Wells Fargo Bank.

After waiting a few minutes in line, he handed his note to the Wells

Fargo teller. She read it and, surmising from his spelling errors that

he wasn't the brightest light in the harbor, told him that she could not

accept his stickup note because it was written on a Bank of America

deposit slip and that he would either have to fill out a Wells Fargo

deposit slip or go back to Bank of America.

Looking somewhat defeated, the man said, "OK" and left.

He was arrested a few minutes later, as he was waiting in line back at

Bank of America.

Don't bother with this guy's sign. He probably couldn't read it anyway.

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Number Four Idiot of 2006

A guy walked into a little corner store with a shotgun and demanded all

of the cash from the cash drawer. After the cashier put the cash in a

bag, the robber saw a bottle of Scotch that he wanted behind the counter

on the shelf. He told the cashier to put it in the bag as well, but the

cashier refused and said, "Because I don't believe you are over 21."

The robber said he was, but the clerk still refused to give it to him

because she didn't believe him. At this point, the robber took his

driver's license out of his wallet and gave it to the clerk.

The clerk looked it over and agreed that the man was in fact over 21 and

she put the Scotch in the bag. The robber then ran from the store with

his loot.

The cashier promptly called the police and gave the name and address of

the robber that he got off the license. They arrested the robber two

hours after.

This guy definitely needs a sign.

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Idiot Number Five of 2006

A pair of Michigan robbers entered a record shop nervously waving

revolvers.

The first one shouted, "Nobody move!"

When his partner moved, the startled first bandit shot him.

This guy doesn't even deserve a sign.

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Idiot Number Six of 2006

Arkansas: Seems this guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that

he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some

booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his

head at the window. The cinder block bounced back knocking him

unconscious.

It seems the liquor store window was made of plexi-glass. The whole

event was caught on videotape.

Yep, here's your sign.

(Please note that all of the above people are allowed to vote)