Limericks

[qwertz]

The old five liners, mostly obscene. I was asked to quote some by two visiting Belgian students who were preparing a thesis on English slang. I haven't heard any for a long time and the Germans don't seem to have any. The porblem was, I couldn't think of one that was PC enough to tell two young convent educated girls. I ask because of the name Limerick. Were they originally Irish? Any Irish out there who can throw in some input?

[Totster]

Here ya go.... Limericks

I'll move this into the pub..

totster

[IvanLaw]

Here ya go.... Limericks

I'll move this into the pub..

totster

Hells Teeth,

Transliterating required please Totster

Only "Clean" one I can recollect

An attractive young maiden named Myrtle

Had quite an affair with a Turtle

And what’s more phenomenal,

A swelling abdominal

Proved to Myrtle, the Turtle was fertile

[Kan Win]

Were they originally Irish? Any Irish out there who can throw in some input?

Variants of the form of poetry referred to as Limerick poems can be traced back to the fourteenth century English history. Limericks were used in Nursery Rhymes and other poems for children. But as limericks were short, relatively easy to compose and bawdy or sexual in nature they were often repeated by beggars or the working classes in the British pubs and taverns of the fifteenth, sixteenth and seventh centuries.

The poets who created these limericks were therefore often drunkards ! Limericks were also referred to as dirty.

Another site here

Yours truly,

Kan Win

[Smilodon]

Felt inspired to compose some limericks!

I sailed on the wide open sea

I thought there was no one but me

But I looked around

And, surprisingly, found

A bright, smiling mermaid or three!

Now, these maids they were computer literate

In addition not at all inconsiderate!

Put Linux on my drive

Installed my Sound Blaster Live!

Windows? They wouldn't consider it!

Sun tanning was just not their thing

Nor dancing, though they liked to sing

They had oft to dip

In the sea during the trip

So they could continue breathing!

We sailed through the Sargasso Sea

My friends, the three mermaids and me

When a great supertanker

Like a blister or canker

Spoiled the view of the Irish navy!

I pondered as she heeled hard'a port

At this life, a most wonderful sort

Had by these girls

In their undersea world

Nicer than a tourist resort!

The Atlantic we all sailed on a Lark

Like a small but still quick Cutty Sark

O'erboard we slid

And with kiss 'n' winked 'lid

We all saw the sunken Bismarck!

Now, the Bismarck's a treasure, that's sure

No longer run by der Fuhrer

It sits on the bottom

Right where the Brits got'em

And is always open for a tour!

Me girls showed me to sunken gold

To downed ships, some new and some old

With uncanny precision

They recalled the collisions

And how they had watched them unfold

We journeyed past the isle of Saipan

And through to the Sea of Japan

I was quite pleased

When they spoke Japanese

Every one, to a (wo)man!

With the girls, there was no lack of food

They harvested, of course, in the nud_e

A clambake, seaweed salad

While they sung their ballads

Of air-breathers acting so rude!

I asked, "Do you need to call home?"

They said "No, and thus we can roam

wherever we please

on these, the high seas

without using a cellular phone!"

I wondered aloud of the dead

If Davy Jones was how they said

A deep-sea stalker

With bottomless locker

For sleepers upon the seabed.

"He is" said the maids "not a story."

"He really gets too little glory

for making his rounds

at depths men can't sound

pulled by three sharks and a dory."

"Men turn to sea creatures (his navy)

"O'er time in the oceans so wavy"

I knew they were joking

and fun they were poking

at Hollywood's take on ol' Davy.

I asked "do you buy DVDs?"

They laughed and said "Out on these seas!?!

in our own home, so commodious

and with DRM being so odious...

Arrr! we prefer piracy!"

Edited February 28, 2007 by Smilodon