5 Jokes

A guy walks into a bar, sits down and says to the bartender, “Quick pour me twelve drinks.”

So the bartender pours him twelve shots and the guy starts shooting them back really fast, one after another. The bartender says to the guy, “Boy you are drinking those drinks really fast.”

The guys says, “Well, you would be drinking really fast too if you had what I''ve got.”

The bartender says, “What''ve you got?”

The guy says, “75 cents.”

A man escaped jail by digging a hole from his jail cell to the outside world. When finally his work was done, he emerged in the middle of a preschool playground.

"I'm free, I'm free!" he shouted.

"So what," said a little girl. "I'm four."

Superman once wrote on the wall: "Batman is a wimp."

The next day Batman wrote: "Superman is Clark Kent."

A guy walks into a bar, sits down and has a drink. Suddenly, a man hollers at him, ''I screwed your mom last night!'' Disturbed, the man tries to ignore him.

Again, he hears, ''Your mom was good in bed last night!'' Again, he tries to ignore it.

The man is just about to speak again but the guy stops him and says, ''Dad, go home, you're drunk!''

This guy goes to a whorehouse and gets a whore for $10.

The next day he's itching like crazy. He goes back to the hooker to complain, saying, "You gave me crabs!"

She says, "What do you expect for $10, lobster?"