Thai Jokes

[steveromagnino]

I've found that alot of Thai jokes are puns, or plays on words.

My mother-in-law was telling us all about a dream she had about her husband's adoptive father (now deceased). She asked, "what numbers for the lottery do you suppose I should buy?" Dad says, "666" (hok, hok, hok). Mom looks thoughtful and then asks, "Why 666?" He says "Kii Hok" (a play on words to mean either all 6's or BS).

I thought it funny but my mother-in-law did not look happy

Without giving too much away and sorn jerakae wai num: very true, such as my farang joke earlier (farang being both the fruit and the person), and the expression mai chai saparot meaning not as perfect as you might think or thereabouts; but literally meaning not a pineapple. And of course then the double meaning is that of course a farang is not a saparot because they are both fruit.

Some are also plays on the translation between english and Thai; calling someone 'kon kai bplar' (sell fish) is always a little amusing even when true. Tons and tons of these; not so much between tones as in using the multiple versions of the same word same tone with a different meaning. Or the classic wai nam bpen mai? to which you can always say, wai dai, then go ahead and wai a drink somewhere in the room; again a case of playing the same words wai nam = swim, wai = to show respect by joining hands together and nam = water in two different ways.

Great fun; my dad used to be quite the punster in english; that generation of goons show type comedians were great for that; current situational comedy is a shadow of decent humour from 30 years ago for the most part (except family guy).

Edited March 23, 2007 by steveromagnino

[soundman]

I've found that alot of Thai jokes are puns, or plays on words.

My mother-in-law was telling us all about a dream she had about her husband's adoptive father (now deceased). She asked, "what numbers for the lottery do you suppose I should buy?" Dad says, "666" (hok, hok, hok). Mom looks thoughtful and then asks, "Why 666?" He says "Kii Hok" (a play on words to mean either all 6's or BS).

I thought it funny but my mother-in-law did not look happy

Without giving too much away and sorn jerakae wai num: very true, such as my farang joke earlier (farang being both the fruit and the person), and the expression mai chai saparot meaning not as perfect as you might think or thereabouts; but literally meaning not a pineapple. And of course then the double meaning is that of course a farang is not a saparot because they are both fruit.

Some are also plays on the translation between english and Thai; calling someone 'kon kai bplar' (sell fish) is always a little amusing even when true. Tons and tons of these; not so much between tones as in using the multiple versions of the same word same tone with a different meaning. Or the classic wai nam bpen mai? to which you can always say, wai dai, then go ahead and wai a drink somewhere in the room; again a case of playing the same words wai nam = swim, wai = to show respect by joining hands together and nam = water in two different ways.

Great fun; my dad used to be quite the punster in english; that generation of goons show type comedians were great for that; current situational comedy is a shadow of decent humour from 30 years ago for the most part (except family guy).

Easy for foreigners to get away with "wai" jokes, easy to see why when written in romanised script. Making the above converastion is usually good for a few raised eyebrows from one corner & a couple of spilt whiskeys from the other.

The only problem is that to a thai person, (and falangs who have been here quite a while) the several forms of the word "wai" really do sound quite different.

A real simple joke for falang people speaking thai is: most thai's will have a laugh at this one.

Thai person: ahyoo tao rai krup?

Falang: see sip koo-up krup.

Thai: How old are you?

Falang: 40 years old. ..... with the word koo-up refering to the age of a child under 13.

Correct answer: see sip bpee krup.

Cheers,

Soundman.

[MiG16]

ermm soundman....u might wanna attempt explaining how the 'wai' sound different when meaning swim and to greet? cos Im trying to say it many times and both sound exactly the same to me????? unless im wrong ....and yeh heres the (thai?) joke???......

by the way that kuap and pee thing isnt funny. its just a mistake some farangs not familiar with language can make...but I dont see how its funny?? ermmmm

[soundman]

ermm soundman....u might wanna attempt explaining how the 'wai' sound different when meaning swim and to greet? cos Im trying to say it many times and both sound exactly the same to me????? unless im wrong ....and yeh heres the (thai?) joke???......

by the way that kuap and pee thing isnt funny. its just a mistake some farangs not familiar with language can make...but I dont see how its funny?? ermmmm

The joke about koo-up and bpee might not seem funny to falang people, however, thai people certainly get a kick out of listening to foreigners put their foot in their mouths.

Now, just to enlighten you, thai language is tonal, which means many sounds eminate from the throat, just as much as the larynx.

The word "wai" spoken with a high pitch will refer to the action of swimming. The word "wai" spoken with fallling resonance will indicate the action of "wai-ing". The “wha ngai” which sounds exactly like "wai" spoken as if you had your nose pinched would be an appropriate way of answering the telephone when a friend is calling. - As if saying "what's up?"

Also. The language becomes easier to understand, once you are in the flow of the conversation. Eg. Someone obviously does not “wai” (wai-ing) in the swimming pool.

I am sure Mr Steve & Mr Neeranam, who both seem to have a very good grasp of thai language will make similar comments as to the pronunciation of thai language.

Hope this helps you out....

Soundman.

Edited March 23, 2007 by soundman

[November Rain]

Soundman, hate to tell you this, but our Miggy's Thai. I'm pretty sure she has a good grasp on the language already

[qwertz]

Soundman, hate to tell you this, but our Miggy's Thai. I'm pretty sure she has a good grasp on the language already

[soundman]

Soundman, hate to tell you this, but our Miggy's Thai. I'm pretty sure she has a good grasp on the language already

No probs NR.

But then why would she make a comment that both words "sound the same to her" when they most obviously do not to a thai person, and to other people who have good ears??

Cheers,

Soundman.

[November Rain]

Don't know. Trying to be helpful to non- Thai speakers? My Thai is really bad, so I wouldn't know about a lot of these pronunciations. A lot of these jokes make no sense to me...

[soundman]

Don't know. Trying to be helpful to non- Thai speakers? My Thai is really bad, so I wouldn't know about a lot of these pronunciations. A lot of these jokes make no sense to me...

I have to agree with you, most jokes I have heard around home make absolutely no sense to me either. That is why I started the thread.

There have been a few funny postings, but most of the "real thai jokes" that have been posted have made me sit there & scratch my head. (Many thanks to posters for making an effort).

Cheers,

Soundman.

[Neeranam]

I said to my daughter yesterday, can you "see the bear", when reading a book. Be very careful when saying that.

"Hen Mee" means something rude and is also a spoonerism for something worse!!

[jayjayjayjay]

This one is NOT funny as written her in English.. You need to translation this into Thai and tell it to Thai friends with great fanfair, timing is very important for the ending.. The only parts that must be in English are in BOLD . You can get Thai's rolling in laughter with the ending, it's a younger generation joke!!

A farang arrives in Bangkok and is unimpressed with the hussle and bussle of the big city. He needs advice where true culture can be found in Thailand. An old farang friend advises for real down-to-earth culture without the frills he couldn't do better than Nakorn Ratchasima. 2 days later he arrives at the bus station, bags and all. Not knowing where to stay in Korat he follows the recommendations of a Tuk-Tuk driver. He takes him into the suburbs, finds a small rental house belonging to a cousin, 2 bedrooms raise teak house 40yrs old, just perfect, 3000 baht a month, he plans to settle for a while. Hungry, he uses sign language to ask a neighbour where to go for a meal. The neighbour points to a local market 400 m down the street. He wanders down, looking at all the food, bugs and searing hot dishes. Scared out of his wits he calls his farang mate again. "hey, what do I eat here, what a local dish?" his friend advises to look for SomTum. He finds a SomTum shop with its bok-bok-bok going on, he's amazed by the activity, must be a good shop, 20 odd people standing around waiting for a bag of sliced spicy papaya salad. He orders by pointing to the "krock" and settles back at a table to wait. After downing the meal, hot 'n sweaty and with burning lips, he checks-bill. He's impressed, very impressed, not with the food, but with Nong, the daughter of the stall owner. He calls his mate in Bangkok again and asks for advise on courting a Thai girl, "hey, there's this cute girl at the SomTum shop, how can I approach her?", he advises and so he will follow the plan. He eats there daily for three weeks each time learning another thai word, time is used well, focusing on making Nong's mum happy with his presence, a good tip is given each time and masterful "wai" with a smile to mum the cook often enough to make her blush a little. He's not sure of the next move, so he calls his mate again "look, I've been chatting with Nong for 3 weeks now, I think she likes me, but I don't know what to do now?" his friend explains he needs to invite mother, daughter and friends to see a waterfall on Sunday afternoon, all expenses paid... Sure enough Mother and Nong plus 12 cousins clamber into the rental van for a day on our friend, a great time is had, but our man never got a chance to get one-on-one time with Nong ........ but it has worked, Nong is hooked.... Two days later, low-and-behold, Nong rocks up at his door. She's got a handfull of ingredients, sure enough, it's SomTom in-house today. This goes on for another week until Nong starts comming over to help clean the house, not stopping there she helps out with washing, ironing and takes the garbage on her way out....... Oh this is turning out good. They turn into a couple... Nong spends the next months permanently with our friend from morning to evening, returning only late to sleep at the market, as it goes, our friend is patient, there has been no sxx. Ater three months, Nong looking frustrated, asks our friend, "I think you don't like me" (in her mind she can't understand why the farang, supposedly so free and casual with sxx, has not tried to pleasure her).. Our friend looks her in the eye seeing that the time is right to move to the next stage, he's ready too and says.. "are you really ready for this" Nong nods with a smile comming to her face, the hormones are running wild. They finish the dishes and head to the bedroom. Our friend showers first, knowing a super long cleaning shower will impress and set a good mood. Nong follows. When Nong comes out of the shower, our friend has a frustrated look on his face "What! is there a problem?" she asks.... Our friend does have one, he esplains to Nong "when we make love, I need you to talk in English, so I know how things are going, I need to hear this so I can get turned on". Well, Nong hardly knows a word of English, little more than ngu-ngu plaa-plaa (snake-snake fish-fish). "I never see video sxx or have farang boyfriend, I don't know what to say" says Nong. Our friend asks "can you say Oh-yeah, Oh-yeah, Oh-good, Oh-good", "not a problem, I can say this" replys Nong. Our friend assures Nong this is enough English to get him aroused. Things start of slowly, with considerable foreplay, After 5 minutes theres a few quiet "Oh-yeah, Oh-yeah, Oh-good, Oh-good" coming from Nong, after 10 minutes the mood is building, things are starting to rock, humidity is up in the bedroom, the "Oh-yeah, Oh-yead, Oh-good Oh-good" are getting louder, at 15 minutes the emotions are topping out, yelling now "Oh-yeaaah, Oh-yeeahhh, Oh-gggoood Oh-gggoood" are reaching the neighbours house, by 20 minutes everything is reaching a climax, the point of ecstacy arrives ......... Nong screems at the top of her voice and can be heard halfway to the market " Oh-yeahhhh, O-yeahhh .. Oooooohhhhh......... SAAP-EEEELai DERR "

[jackr]

Three Thai labourers, Bangkok Somchai, Songkhla Somchai and Isaan Somchai, start their new job erecting lampposts. The foreman tells them where to put them and then disappears for the day. When he returns he asks how many they've done. He is pleased to find that Bangkok Somchai and Songkhla Somchai have managed 18 between them. He then asks Isaan Somchai how many he's done, to which he replies "nueng boss". The foreman demands what he's been doing all day as the others have managed 18, and Mr Isaan says, "Well, all of theirs are poking up out of the ground!"

[longway]

Soundman, hate to tell you this, but our Miggy's Thai. I'm pretty sure she has a good grasp on the language already

No probs NR.

But then why would she make a comment that both words "sound the same to her" when they most obviously do not to a thai person, and to other people who have good ears??

Cheers,

Soundman.

AFAIK both waai are falling tones.

[Basslifeform]

Got this from a Thai newspaper a while back.

A very modern and adventerous Thai couple decide to take their children on holiday to the S. of France. During their stay they hear that many Europeans enjoy going to nudist beaches, so decide that they'll give it a go.

After sitting on the beach for a while their son turns to his father and asks why he has such a small penis compared to all the farlang. " It's because I'm poor" replies his father, and to hide his embaressment decides to change the subject. "Who wants ice-cream?" he asks. He then goes to get everyone an ice-cream. Upon his return he finds his kids sitting where he left them but no sign of his wife, so he asks his son, "Where has your mother gone?". "Oh," the son replies, "She went for a walk behind those rocks with a French millionaire."