5 Lessons

[Jamesyboi]

Corporate Lesson 1

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A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing her

shower, when the doorbell rings.

The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs.

When she opens the door, there stands Bill, the next door neighbour.

Before she says a word, Bill says, "I'll give you 800 pounds to drop that

towel," After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and

stands naked in front of Bill.

After a few seconds, Bill hands her 800 pounds and leaves.

The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs.

When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, "Who was that?"

"It was Bill the next door neighbour," she replies.

"Great!" the husband says, "did he say anything about the 800 pounds he

owes me?"

Moral of the story: If you share critical information pertaining to

credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position

to prevent avoidable exposure.

Corporate Lesson 2

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A priest offered a lift to a nun.

She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal some bare

leg. The priest nearly had an accident.

After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg.

The nun said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?"

The priest removed his hand.

But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again.

The nun once again said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?"

The priest apologized "Sorry sister but the flesh is weak."

Arriving at the convent, the nun went on her way.

On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129.

It said, "Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory."

Moral of the story: If you are not well informed in your job, you might

miss a great opportunity.

Corporate Lesson 3

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A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to

lunch when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes

out. The Genie says, "I'll give each of you just one wish."

"Me first! Me first!" says the admin. clerk "I want to be in the

Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care in the world." Poof! She's

gone.

"Me next! Me next!" says the sales rep. "I want to be in Hawaii,

relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of

Pina Coladas and the love of my life." Poof! He's gone.

"OK, your turn" the Genie says to the manager. The manager says, "I want

those two back in the office after lunch."

Moral of the story: Always let your boss have the first say.

Corporate Lesson 4

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A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day. A rabbit asked him,

"Can I also sit like you and do nothing all day long?" The crow

answered: "Sure, why not." So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the

crow, and rested. A fox jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

Moral of the story: To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting

very high up.

Corporate Lesson 5

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A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to be able to get to

the top of that tree," sighed the turkey, but I haven't got the energy."

"Well, why don't you nibble on my droppings?" replied the bull.

"They're packed with nutrients."

The turkey pecked at a lump of dung and found that it gave him enough

strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree. The next day, after

eating some more dung, he reached the second branch. Finally after a

fourth night, there he was proudly perched at the top of the tree.

Soon he was spotted by a farmer, who shot the turkey out of the tree.

Moral of the story: Bullshlt might get you to the top, but it won't keep

you there.