Political Humour

[A. BOOZER]

A good political decision is just like a miniskirt.

Short enough to sustain the interest & long enough to cover the subject.

[Spee]

I like the one from "The Hunt for Red October", where the president's national security adviser says to Jack Ryan ....."I'm a politician, which means I'm a liar and a thief, and when I'm not kissing babies, I'm stealing their lollipops."

Or what PJ O'Rourke says in "Parliament of Whores", his great satirical book on American politics:

- "Giving government money and power is like giving car keys and whiskey to a teenage boy."

- "Sen. Ted Kennedy: "And when the Reagan administration was selling arms to Iran, WHERE WAS GEORGE?"

Answer: Dry, sober, and at home with his wife.

- "A little government and a little luck are necessary in life, but only a fool trusts either of them."

- "You can't get good chinese takeout in China and cuban cigars are rationed in Cuba. That's all you need to know about communism."

[Spee]

This is another great passage ....

God is a Republican and Santa Claus is a Democrat

"I have only one firm belief about the American political system, and that is this: God is a Republican and Santa Claus is a Democrat.

God is an elderly, or at any rate, middle-aged, male. A stern fellow, patriarchal rather than paternal, and a great believer in rules and regulations. He holds man strictly accountable for their actions. He has little apparent concern for the material well being of others. He is politically connected, socially powerful, and holds the mortgage on everything in the world. God is difficult. God is unsentimental. It is very hard to get into God's heavenly country club.

Santa Claus is another matter. He's cute. He's non-threatening. He's always cheerful. He loves animals. He knows who's been naughty and nice, but never does anything about it. He gives every one everything they want, without a thought of quid pro quo. He works hard for charity and is famously generous to the poor.

Santa Claus is preferable to God in every way but one: there is no such thing as Santa Claus!

-P.J. O'Rourke - Parliament of Whores -- Prologue

[Spee]

Just came across this gem while doing a little surfing:

"The Ten Commandments contain 297 words, the Bill of Rights 463 words, and Lincoln's Gettysburg Address 266 words. A recent federal directive regulating the price of cabbage contains 26,911 words." --According to an article in the New York Times