Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake

whole relationships."

-- Sharon Stone

"My girlfriend always laughs during sex---no matter what

she's reading."

-- Steve Jobs (Founder: Apple Computers)

"I saw a woman wearing a sweatshirt with "Guess" on it. I said,

"Thyroid problem?"

-- Arnold Schwarzenegger

"Hockey is a sport for white men. Basketball is a sport for black men.

Golf is a sport for white men dressed like black pimps."

-- Tiger Woods

"My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch."

-- Jack Nicholson

"Clinton lied. A man might forget where he parks or where he lives,

but he never forgets oral sex, no matter how bad it is."

- Barbara Bush (Former US First Lady, and you didn't think Barbara

had a sense of humor)

"Ah, yes, divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's

genitals through his wallet."

-- Robin Williams

"Women complain about premenstrual syndrome, but I think of it as the

only time of the month that I can be myself."

-- Roseanne

"Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place."

-- Billy Crystal

"According to a new survey, women say they feel more comfortable

undressing in front of men than they do undressing in front of other

women. They say that women are too judgmental, where, of course,

men are just grateful."

-- Robert DE Niro

"There's a new medical crisis. Doctors are reporting that many men

are having allergic reactions to latex condoms. They say they cause

severe swelling. So what's the problem?"

-- Dustin Hoffman

"There's very little advice in men's magazines, because men think,

I know what I'm doing. Just show me somebody naked."

-- Jerry Seinfeld

"Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't

like and just give her a house."

-- Rod Stewart

"See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only

enough blood to run one at a time."

-- Robin Williams

Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake

whole relationships."

-- Sharon Stone

Amen!

"Women complain about premenstrual syndrome, but I think of it as the

only time of the month that I can be myself."

"See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only

enough blood to run one at a time."

-- Robin Williams

amen

I know nothing about sex because I was always married.

Zsa Zsa Gabor (1919 - )

I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty.

George Burns (1896 - 1996)

Life is a sexually transmitted disease.

R. D. Laing

MM

"The worse part of oral sex is the view"

Woody Allen.