Are You Happier Now?

[PhillipJ]

Hi All,

I was recently listening to a radio interview with a social philosopher and it got me thinking. He was commenting on the highly competitive nature of todays market driven society and how many people get caught up in the "race for status", in which they feel it necessary to continually blow all their money on positional goods such as a better car, better holidays etc etc.

He was basically saying that we find it necessary to impress people of higher social status to ourselves in order to feel better about ourselves. With a tongue in his cheek he suggested that the easiest way to feel better was to surround ourselves with people of lower social status.

My question is..... was this a factor in anyones decision to call Thailand home, either conciously or not, and are you feeling better for it?

[RamdomChances]

My question is..... was this a factor in anyones decision to call Thailand home, either conciously or not, and are you feeling better for it?

Bit confused, if its not a concious desision, it must be an unconcious one.

So how do you know if you've made an unconcious desision!!!

"are you feeling beter for it" for what! calling thailand home or making an unconcious/concious desision about living here.

Just a question back if "we find it necessary to impress people of higher social status" what happens if there are'nt any, who do you impress!! and why are you trying to imply that every one in thailand is of a "lower social status"

I'm from Wales if you ask most English men they'd tell you I've taken a step up living here.

[possom]

WHAT A LOAD OF <deleted> !!!! (my personal opinion ) no offence intended

[Bluecat]

With a tongue in his cheek he suggested that the easiest way to feel better was to surround ourselves with people of lower social status.

My question is..... was this a factor in anyones decision to call Thailand home, either conciously or not, and are you feeling better for it? 

I'm not going to comment on the status theory, which I find ridiculous.

But anyway, if it was true, you should avoid Thailand at all costs.

As a foreigner, you will always be of lower status.

Not a critic, just a fact.

By the way, do you live in Thailand?

[PhillipJ]

Bit confused, if its not a concious desision, it must be an unconcious one.

So how do you know if you've made an unconcious desision!!!

"are you feeling beter for it" for what! calling thailand home or making an unconcious/concious desision about living here.

Just a question back if "we find it necessary to impress people of higher social status" what happens if there are'nt any, who do you impress!! and why are you trying to imply that every one in thailand is of a "lower social status"

I'm from Wales if you ask most English men they'd tell you I've taken a step up living here.

Sorry, I meant that that this may not have been a factor in you decision at the time, but now on reflection, did it play some role in the overall appeal of LOS.

And now that you are in Thailand, do you think you are happier than you would be in your home country?

I guess if there are no people around of higher social class then you are at the top of the tree, and you should be happy (at least in theory )

I am not trying to imply that everyone in Thailand is of lower social class. I'm not very fond of class distinctions etc.

I'm sure many will admit (me for one) that they experience a higher standard of living to what they can buy for they money back home. What this guy was suggesting, i think, was that your situation is relative to your surroundings. If you are surrounded by richer people you feel unhappy, while if you are surrounded by people who are not as rich, you will feel better.

I thought I'd throw it on the table and see what peoples opinions are.

[PhillipJ]

WHAT A LOAD OF <deleted> !!!! (my personal opinion ) no offence intended

No offence taken, your opinion is valued. By putting foward the post I don't necessarily agree with it. They were statements made about life in contemporary Australia, I just thought they may have some relevance to how people experience Thailand compared to their home country.

[Bluecat]

What this guy was suggesting, i think, was that your situation is relative to your surroundings. If you are surrounded by richer people you feel unhappy, while if you are surrounded by people who are not as rich, you will feel better.

Not so sure it is what he meant.

More like we are all a bunch of losers with low social status home who love Thailand because we can surround ourselves with people of even lower status,...

[PhillipJ]

I'm not going to comment of the status theory, which I find ridiculous.

But anyway, if it was true, you should avoid Thailand at all costs.

As a foreigner, you will always be of lower status.

Not a critic, just a fact.

By the way, do you live in Thailand?

I lived in Thailand from 97 to 2000. Plan on relocating back soon. I realise that as a foriegner I have fewer legal and other rights compared to Thais, but I reject the "fact" that I was of lower status. I was accepted and participated within my local community, I speak Thai and made solid friendships. I never felt that i was of lower status, and after all it is what you feel that counts.

I think I was happier when I was in Thailand compared to now, part of the reason why I want to return. I think the happiness was due to people accepting me for who I was, not for whether i wore the 'right' shoes or bought a new car.

[stroll]

I would say I feel more happy being 'surrounded' by friendly people, and this was a concious motivation to move here. The fact that I have to work less and have a higher standard of living are also concious reasons. Feeling better for being respected and not being sneered at by snotty noveau rich and other High Society animals, yes, that too.

they exist in Thailand as well, but are easy to avoid.

I am not avoiding your question, I am leaving it to you to interpret what I said to fit .

[Bluecat]

but I reject the "fact" that I was of lower status. I was accepted and participated within my local community, I speak Thai and made solid friendships. I never felt that i was of lower status

You're probably right.

I'm too much like the Thai government.

I think Bangkok is Thailand.

Thanks god, it's not,...

[Tornado]

Hi All,

I was recently listening to a radio interview with a social philosopher and it got me thinking. He was commenting on the highly competitive nature of todays market driven society and how many people get caught up in the "race for status", in which they feel it necessary to continually blow all their money on positional goods such as a better car, better holidays etc etc.

He was basically saying that we find it necessary to impress people of higher social status to ourselves in order to feel better about ourselves. With a tongue in his cheek he suggested that the easiest way to feel better was to surround ourselves with people of lower social status.

My question is..... was this a factor in anyones decision to call Thailand home, either conciously or not, and are you feeling better for it?

I think this man's thoughts are probably right.

keeping up with the Jones family types are everywhere.

I do not think that is why the majority of us moved here though.

I moved here for beaches, scenery and a easier life with less taxes and more money for your money.

[joinme2leave]

as for me, I shall definitely step down in my social status afer moving to LOS.

no need to have a car (driving an expensive one right now).

no need to have a 120 m2 condo.

no need to buy trendy, overprized clothes or perfume.

no need to spend my weekends in expensive tourist regions to catch a bit of sun or evening entertainment.

finally: no need to feed a hungry, hungry, hungry wife with money even though I am very well aware of the fact that my (future) thai g/f will ask for money too.

AND I DO NOT CARE to step down b-coz I am bored of that kind of social status pressure we do have in europe (and I guess, the U.S. too)!!!

[medicinebox]

QUOTE (PhillipJ @ Sun 2004-06-13, 20:39:01)

What this guy was suggesting, i think, was that your situation is relative to your surroundings. If you are surrounded by richer people you feel unhappy, while if you are surrounded by people who are not as rich, you will feel better. 

Not so sure it is what he meant.

More like we are all a bunch of losers with low social status home who love Thailand because we can surround ourselves with people of even lower status,... 

Well I needn't have bothered coming to Thailand. I could have stayed in the UK and rented a council house in Wimbledon or Toxteth. Living with lowlifes?? That ought to make me feel better.

[RDN]

Yes

Edited July 4, 2004 by RDN

[OldAsiaHand]

Not so sure it is what he meant.

More like we are all a bunch of losers with low social status home who love Thailand because we can surround ourselves with people of even lower status

Right. My own observation is that sums up quite well the appeal of Thailand for a great many of the foreigners who live here.

[stroll]

Hmm, if this is your obsevation, your name suggests you haven't just moved here last month , either.

I wonder whether I am kidding myself and do really fit the description, made an 'unconcious choice". Never thought of it that way.

Another reason for feeling better: respect for age! Being called 'Pee' goes down better than 'the old geeza'.

[PhillipJ]

I realise that people come to Thailand for many different reasons. The attractions are things that often one couldn't get back home, eg good weather, life on the beach, a better lifestyle for your dollar, and a beuatiful girl with relatively few complications.

I think these things will make you happier in the short term, but how about the long term.

[Emuu]

Philip. The name sounds very British. Are you British Philip? Do you come from the race that has done more to foster class and arrogance than any other on Earth? (At this point if there were audio attached you would hear the sound of Gilbert and Sullivan's song "For he is an English Man" playing in the background.)

Probably India, through the Hindu religion which made class destinction mandatory, comes second, but they have been working very hard at eradicating the problem.

The talk show guy was probably making commentary on a fair if sad observation about people's foibles.

Unfortunately in the long run, one is only going to be happy with one's position in life when an individual learns to be happy with themself. At this point, one is normally content to allow those around to be happy with themselves, and everyone accepts each other as they are. Class and status are relegated to the trash bin.

What a novel concept.

I for one had no idea of what I was coming to when I applied for a consulting position based in Thailand. With 5 months only in country however I'm delighted at the responses I have received by treating with respect all people of extremely varied positions and wealth in this country who I have had the pleasure of meeting.

My position is based on the notion that we are human beings, not human doings or human positionings. Because we exist, we should be respected. Whether socialite or bar girl, bus boy or CEO, prince or pauper is frequently an accident of time, place, birth and other things beyond our control. If you happen to be by virtue of those things in a position to do good to those around you, be thankful and do what you can without pride or prejudice.

All this doesn't mean I don't realise that there will be people around who will abuse their position, but that is there responsibility. I may be called upon to try to stop them to protect others, but that is a totally different issue than class or status.

Anyhow, that's my two baht's worth.

[RDN]

Not so sure it is what he meant. More like we are all a bunch of losers with low social status home who love Thailand because we can surround ourselves with people of even lower status

Right. My own observation is that sums up quite well the appeal of Thailand for a great many of the foreigners who live here.

If that is the case, I don't know any of them and wouldn't want to. That type can bugger off back to where they came from.

[fatter than harry]

PhillipJ, Are you saying that we chose to live here to be surrounded by paupers? If thats the case your way off the mark to the point of being offensive.

[ThaiPauly]

as for me, I shall definitely step down in my social status afer moving to LOS.

no need to have a car (driving an expensive one right now).

no need to have a 120 m2 condo.

no need to buy trendy, overprized clothes or perfume.

no need to spend my weekends in expensive tourist regions to catch a bit of sun or evening entertainment.

finally: no need to feed a hungry, hungry, hungry wife with money even though I am very well aware of the fact that my (future) thai g/f will ask for money too.

AND I DO NOT CARE to step down b-coz I am bored of that kind of social status pressure we do have in europe (and I guess, the U.S. too)!!!

Agreed, I had a business back in the UK drove a CLK Benz Convertable, designer clothes watches, immaculate property, all the trappings of much wants more in the rat race.

I am so much happier now, sold my business, live off the interest (about 2,500 baht a day) nothing like what I had in the UK, but my stress levels are way down.

dont have to spend a lot of money chasing happiness anymore, at last I found happiness comes for free and does not involve money, as long as I have enough for the basic essentials i have (perhaps) added 10 years to my life expectancy.

HAPPIER--

Go back to it (and all the money)

[stevenjm]

They were statements made about life in contemporary Australia

Thats because it applies in Australia. A large number of people in Australia have changed with latest property boom and now think their all savvy investers. (give it a year or two for reality to hit).

I find it much easier to surround myself with so called "losers" to make myself feel better than work my guts out to try and keep up with the economically deluded.

[Simbo]

I wonder how many ex-pats, who came here 2/3 years ago, full of enthusiam for a better life. A permanent holiday, on the beach daily, not getting up on a cold morning for a job they hated, Lovely girls at every turn. Do they maybe regret the decision, but having burning their bridges back home, are comitted to making a go of it and talk convincingly of how wonderful it is here, when deep down, if they had the chance again, probably would have forgone the dream for a more secure existance back home. Just a thought.

[Richard Hall]

I wonder how many ex-pats, who came here 2/3 years ago, full of enthusiam for a better life. A permanent holiday, on the beach daily, not getting up on a cold morning for a job they hated, Lovely girls at every turn. Do they maybe regret the decision, but having burning their bridges back home, are comitted to making a go of it and talk convincingly of how wonderful it is here, when deep down, if they had the chance again, probably would have forgone the dream for a more secure existance back home. Just a thought.

But how many more stay home in a secure but unloved life and environment just not daring to follow their dreams and eventually realize in a luxary senior home in their home country that they have basically never lived? What are 99 years of comfort if one never got to smell the roses?

Well, trying to catch your dreams bears the risk of getting busted but on the other hand who never tries will possibly end up with a busted soul just at a little later day.

Upon more than four surely absolutely not easy years in Bangkok... no regrets... ever 'coz I just did what I always wanted and keep following that path.

[ProThaiExpat]

Perhaps I was to investment oriented back home as I always found the most expensive house I could afford that was the cheapest house in that neighborhood. I really enjoyed the manicured lawns maintained at others expense. Wide steets, kept clean by massive property taxes paid for by these wealthy neighbors trying to keep up with themselves. I do miss that in Thailand.

Otherwise, a Wednesday newspaper from back home with the supermarket ads is a great spirit lifter, or obvious respect shown to me because of my gray hair as opposed to being treated as if I didn't exist back home by sales staff, or living in my custom home with an incredible view that cost what a single wide trailer costs back home or buying pretty much anything I want because I can afford it here while I would actually shop ramen shops back home to find the cheapest bowl of noodles I could find ($5.95)(and that was three years ago), or not going anywhere in the city as parking fees cost more than a high priced dinner, or etc.

[simon43]

I came here about a year ago and had a notion of what Simbo suggested. Sitting on the beach, drinking the beer, chasing the women etc.

In reality, I never get to the beach. I work usually from about 9am-9pm (my own business), and I'm hounded all the time by my wife in Blighty who is trying to bleed me dry.

Still, I'm as happy as a maggot in a dead dog

[OxfordWill]

Hi All,

I was recently listening to a radio interview with a social philosopher and it got me thinking. He was commenting on the highly competitive nature of todays market driven society and how many people get caught up in the "race for status", in which they feel it necessary to continually blow all their money on positional goods such as a better car, better holidays etc etc.

He was basically saying that we find it necessary to impress people of higher social status to ourselves in order to feel better about ourselves. With a tongue in his cheek he suggested that the easiest way to feel better was to surround ourselves with people of lower social status.

My question is..... was this a factor in anyones decision to call Thailand home, either conciously or not, and are you feeling better for it?

I think the more emotional reactions to your post quite clearly answer it!

Look also at Thai society - multiple mobile phones and for what purpose?