Folkstone Earthquake Appeal.

Got this from a mate and thought i'd share it. Guess the Brits or people who lived in the UK will get it.

A major hurricane (Hurricane Shazza) and an earthquake measuring

>>4.7 on the Richter scale hit Folkestone & Dover in the early hours

>>of Saturday. Its epicentre was in Folkestone. Victims were seen

>>wandering around aimlessly, muttering "Faaackinell".

>>

>>The hurricane decimated the area causing approximately £30 worth of

>>damage. Several priceless collections of mementos from Majorca and

>>the Costa del Sol were damaged beyond repair.

>>

>>Three areas of historic burnt out cars were disturbed. Many locals

>>were woken well before their giros arrived.

>>

>>Invicta FM reported that hundreds of residents were confused and

>>bewildered and were still trying to come to terms with the fact

>>that something interesting had happened in Folkestone. One resident

>>- Tracy Sharon Smith, a 15-year-old mother of five said, "It was

>>such a shock, my little Chardonnay-Mercedes come running into my

>>bedroom crying. My youngest two, Tyler-Morgan and Victoria-Storm

>>slept through it all. I was still shaking when I was skinning up

>>and watching Jeremey Kyle the next morning."

>>

>>Apparently looting, muggings and car crime were unaffected and

>>carried on as normal. The British Red Cross has so far managed to

>>ship 4,000 crates of Sunny Delight to the area to help the stricken

>>locals.

>>

>>Rescue workers are still searching through the rubble and have

>>found large q uantities of personal belongings, including benefit

>>books, jewellery from Elizabeth Duke at Argos and Bone China from

>>Poundland.

>>

>>HOW CAN YOU HELP?

>>

>>This appeal is to raise money for food and clothing parcels for

>>those unfortunate enough to be caught up in this disaster.

>>

>>Clothing is most sought after - items most needed include:

>> > Fila or Burberry baseball caps

>> > Kappa tracksuit tops (his and hers)

>> > Shell suits (female)

>> > White sport socks

>> > Rockport boots and any other items usually sold in Primark.

>> > Food parcels may be harder to come by, but are needed all the

>>same.

>>

>>Required foodstuffs include:

>> > Microwave meals, Tins of baked beans, Ice cream, Cans of Colt 45

>>or Special

>> > Brew.

>> > 22p buys a biro for filling in the compensation forms.

>> > £2 buys chips, crisps and blue fizzy drinks for a family of 9.

>> > £5 buys B&H and a lighter to calm the nerves of those affected.

>>

>>***Breaking news***

>>Rescue workers found a girl in the rubble smothered in raspberry

>>alco-pop. 'Where are you bleeding from?' they asked, "Aylesham"

>>said the girl, "wossit gotta do wiv you!?!"