Under Influence

[jef1947]

Three dependency. This is a multiple dependency. The worst of the three dependencies is tobacco. Pure shit! No way out. I could stop it tomorrow if…

there weren't the other two…

Aging 60 I'm looking back to some years. Things I did, mistakes and all the stuff. Next to achievements or misbehaving, I get an image of myself: a three dependant guy. I've been suffering from a particular disease, a multiple addiction to tobacco, alcohol and THC. I said suffering, and I mean it. Too many times in my last 30 years (I started late) I got pissed of myself, I just did not like me any more because I lost control.

Too many times did I tell myself: I did it, no more tobacco, alcohol and THC anymore! I did it, I'm so happy and now what about a beer to celebrate? I meant it: the beer was not going to spoil the deal, not going to endanger the fact that I stopped smoking tobacco (halleluiah) and ganja (collateral damage). So I had 3 beers with that guy, next day nothing, the day after I bought a six pack. I got bad news from Costa-Rica and after seven full, ugly, days without tobacco and THC, I started again. I have tens of stories like that.

I loose control. I'm referring to things I actually do not have to.

I'm going to try to be more precise. My problem is: I smoke tobacco, ganja and drink, beer or alcohol. The question is: can I stop on an individual basis or do I have to stop all the addictions all together?

And there is some perfidy in the question; we all know the answer: quit them all, for ever.

I'm about sure hundreds of guys like me are pissed because they cannot stop, a particular thing, a three dependence. I'd like to quit, have a better life (I do believe there is a life after quitting). I'm gathering some help here to start.

I lived quite some time in Chiang Mai. Back in Brussels now. For some time.

Life is ok. I want to stop and get some help from that community I had to leave.