In this time of political turmoil and lively debate on TV about the future of Thailand, and pros and cons of one system against another, it all gets very confusing , I found this list that can help us all as a quick guide to greater understanding. Be forwarned it is in keeping with good political tradition somewhat long winded.

Political systems.

What is it all about?

Republican, American style.

You have two cows. Your neighbour has none. So?

Democrat, American style.

You have two cows. Your neighbour has none. You feel guilty for being successful.

Barbara Streisand sings for you.

Capitalism, American dream.

You have two cows. You sell one, buy a bull, and build a herd of cows

Socialism.

You have two Cows. The government takes one and gives it to your neighbour.

You form a cooperative to tell him how to manage his cow.

Communism.

You have two cows. The government seizes both and provides you with milk.

You wait in line for hours to get it. It is expensive and sour.

Bureaucracy, European Union style.

You have two cows. Under the new farm program the government pays you not to milk one, milks the other, and then pours the milk down the drain

Political Correctness

You are "associated with" (the concept of "ownership" is an expression of the

phallo-centric, war-mongering, and chauvinistic past) two differently-aged (but

no less valuable to society) bovines of non-specified gender.

Feminism.

You have two cows. They get married and adopt a veal calf.

Totalitarianism.

You have two cows. The government takes them and denies they ever existed. Milk is banned.

Counter Culture.

Wow, dude, there's like... these two cows, man. You got to have some of this milk.

Surrealism.

You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.

Danish Municipality, Farum style.

You have two cows. You sell one, lease it back to yourself and take out a loan on the second one. You spin an announcement to the analysts stating you have downsized and are reducing expenses. Your popularity goes up.

Democracy, Florida style.

You have a black cow and a brown cow. Everyone votes for the best looking one.

Some of the people who actually like the brown one best accidentally vote for

the black one. Some people vote for both. Some people vote for neither. Some people can't figure out how to vote at all. Finally, a bunch of guys from out-of-state tell you which one you think are the best-looking cow.

Californian style.

You have millions of cows. They make real California cheese. Only five speak English. Most are illegal. Arnold likes the ones with the big udders.

French style.

You have two cows. You go on strike because you want three cows. You go to lunch and drink wine. Life is good

.

Japanese style.

You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. They learn to travel on unbelievably crowded trains.

Most are at the top of their class at cow school.

German style.

You have two cows. You engineer them so they are all blond, drink lots of beer, give excellent quality milk, and run a hundred miles an hour. Unfortunately they also demand 13 weeks of vacation per year.

Italian style.

You have two cows but you don't know where they are. While rambling around, you see a beautiful woman. You break for lunch. Life is good.

Russian style.

You have two cows. You have some vodka. You count them and learn you have five cows. You have some more vodka. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.

The Mafia shows up and takes over however many cows you really have.

Indian style.

You have two cows. You worship both of them.

Taliban style.

You have all the cows in Afghanistan, which are two. You don't milk them because you cannot touch any creature' private parts. You get a $40 million grant from the US government to find alternatives to milk production but use the money to buy weapons.

Iraqi style.

You have two cows. They go into hiding. They send radio tapes of their mooing.

Kind regards

Edited June 13, 200719 yr by larvidchr

Bureaucracy, European Union style.

You have two cows. Under the new farm program the government pays you not to milk one, milks the other, and then pours the milk down the drain

Come on, no takers? what would be your pick from the list for LOS?, think buffalo's.

Edited June 14, 200719 yr by larvidchr

Farang style:

You live in exile in Thailand. You had two cows in Farangland but ex-wife got both. You're still trying to figure out how to get a Buffalo.

Thai style

You have two cows. The military stages a coup and takes both cows away from you.

You live in exile in London with the milk.

Thai style. ( Version 2.0)

You have two cows. Every three years or so, A good fellow with a tank rolls up and says “Mai cow” NOW! (1)

(1) 19 coups in last 60 years.

USA Style:

you have two really fat cows.

one borrowed from china and the other scammed from the world with paper iou's.

you shoot one from a train for fun.

you lynch the other one for fun.

you drink budweisers planning which country to bomb next to steal their cow.

Thai style:

You have two cows. A car crashes thru the fence.

Both cows fled the scene.

Farang Style:

You have two cows in Farangland you love. Against better advice to only buy cows raised locally, you import them to Thailand incurring 300% import tax, depleting your life savings. You then marry a Thai. You lose both cows in the resulting divorce.

You're still trying to figure out how to get a buffalo for your new gf.

In this time of political turmoil and lively debate on TV about the future of Thailand, and pros and cons of one system against another, it all gets very confusing

No different, if any system will be understood or embraced in Thai, and in most of Asia.

They could be wired in a different way.

Second thing, you might have been dumbed by television. Looks like that.

In this time of political turmoil and lively debate on TV about the future of Thailand, and pros and cons of one system against another, it all gets very confusing

No different, if any system will be understood or embraced in Thai, and in most of Asia.

They could be wired in a different way.

Second thing, you might have been dumbed by television. Looks like that.

This was meant as a joke, not to be taken serious, you "think too mut" and don't get good results, watch television

Regards

Edited June 16, 200719 yr by larvidchr