Anyone here have child custody process / experience?

[Kenny202]

Have a 6yo son here, basically lived with since birth of course, but only me as a sole parent (not his mother) last 5 years. We were never married but I have done the legitimacy process through the courts so no problems there. She comes and visits him briefly every 6 months to a year for an hour, 3 or a night in a hotel rarely. Mainly take a few selfies, post photos "aren't I a great mum" etc. Never gives us any notice...my son doesn't know her from a bar of soap and usually fairly stressful and inconvenient all around. Never supports him in any other way......has never sent a birthday gift etc and when I have asked her to help out even getting a phone number for a clinic etc I get "ask your girlfriend". Sha has a horrible past...3 other kids to different dads none of which have ever lived with her. I have very accurate diarized history of our contacts, copies of crazy and hateful messages. Even messages asking how she should prepare his food a couple of times when he was in her care. Messages from her clearly using him as a tool to control me. I met with a Lawyer this morning and said all we need to do is get the ball rolling. With the history and evidence I have lawyer feels like it will be a lay down misere and take about 3 months. Lawyer said she doesn't even have to attend. If she wants to contest it she can but if not it will be a simple process. She said even if she does contest it she will lose. I really don't think she would have anything negative on me apart from verbal lies which she is a master of. I have always been careful with her in any communication etc. 

 

Anyone have any experience with this? Would it likely be as easy as it sounds? 

[kwonitoy]

It can be easy, your lawyer doesn't have to attend court, all the paper work is done beforehand.

For all that you hear about legal corruption in Thailand, The Family Courts System is as solid as a rock.

They are concerned about 1 thing only.

What is best for the child.

 

 

 

I did mine successfully 8 years ago in Udon Thani/Sakon Nahkon.

 

First contact local lawyer who charges me 5,000 baht.

He files documents with Family Social Services and then it's a wait.

about a month or so myself, my 2 years old son, live in nanny and a girl I know from the village who is my second witness and translator get an appointment time at the FSS

We all go to Sahkon Nahkon Office and are interviewed at extreme length, about 4 hours in all. Me and my translator, the translator/witness separately and the nanny separately.

Leave the office, go for lunch and come back in the afternoon and we are sat down and the interviewer goes through our statements line by line to make sure everything matches.

Because this is a legal document that goes to the court they are very meticulous.

Go Home and wait.

About 2 months the lawyer contacts us for another agreed upon payment of 5,000 baht.

We get an appointment at family court at 10.00am.

I'm stood up at a witness box in the courtroom, the judge spoke excellent English

He explains that I have to swear to tell the truth, I agree and am sworn in.

He reads through the statements and says your wife has been sentenced to 25 years to life for Ya-Ba?

Correct, I affirm

The gavel comes down and he smiles and says that he awards me full Parental Powers.

 

Go downstairs to the offices and the girl there says the documents will be ready in a week, or if I want to pay for express same day service a charge of 2,000 baht and 1 hour, which I agreed to.

An hour later we leave for home with the documents that I have upstairs in my safe.

 

Now my case was very easy and straightforward because the little honey bunny was locked up in the monkey house. YMMV

 

Go for it and good luck.

[Kenny202]

Thanks mate, I got a pretty strong case and he has lived with me since birth basically with his mother showing up unannounced every 6 months to a year to play with him for an hour or two and take some selfies. Lawyer comes highly recommended to and seems to know what she's doing. I have hundreds of incriminating messages from her basically admitting she is mental, she doesn't know how to feed our child, can't take care of him when he's sick. I believe if she doesn't turn up it is a no contest and I will get custody anyway. They contact her through the mail. I have no clue where she's living but probably not her ID / Tabien Baan address as I think she has debt collectors after her. No one else lives there so not sure if she is having her mail opened. Not even sure she would bother coming to contest it anyway. I mean she will have nothing but a pack of lies and unsubstantiated accusations but I really don't want the grief. 

 

I saw my lawyer this morning and she seems to think she wouldn't have a chance based on what she's seen. I told her to get the ball rolling and already sent her all documents photos etc this morning. 

 

I would prefer to lodge the application then see if she contests it or not before coming out tipping a big bucket of shet over her right from the get go...guns blazing so to speak. Make it a personal contest. Do you remember if that is possible? My reasons for custody to her would be ease of doing anything, ability to travel or leave the country quickly if I needed to (sickness etc). Ease of dealing with government departments, schools etc. I know she doesn't want or is in a position to take care of him. Only reason she would take him from me is out of spite and I don't want to be the one that generates that. She often does stuff blindly without considering the consequences even if it means she puts herself in harms way. Must have been a lot easier for you with your ex in the clink. I am surprised mine hasn't met some sticky end in the last 6 years she has been left out of control.

 

With her being in prison and you the sole custodian, is there any obligation for you to let your ex's family have contact with your child? Do you know what happens when you die? Can you nominate someone or your family to take care of the child or does parental rights revert back to her as the mother?

Edited April 23, 2022 by Kenny202

[kwonitoy]

11 hours ago, Kenny202 said:

With her being in prison and you the sole custodian, is there any obligation for you to let your ex's family have contact with your child? Do you know what happens when you die? Can you nominate someone or your family to take care of the child or does parental rights revert back to her as the mother?

The court will send a letter informing her to her registered blue book address once the court accepts the case.

It's then up to her to retain a lawyer and show up, or not.

My ex-wifes letter came to our house, her registered address. I sent this to her lawyer so no accusations of causing trouble on my end. She did not appear in court so it was a done deal.

 

In my experience the real work is done at Family Social Services, They collect and document the evidence that is presented to the judge.

Provide to them all interactions, photos, pictures of you with your child being normal.

One thing to emphasis is how much emotional damage you have suffered, eg. anxiety causing you not to eat, loss of face in the community, shame when in the market. These things carry as much weight if not more in a Thai court, it's not all about legal cut and thrust.

This will work better than an attack on her, keep it about you and your son. Present a stable personality.

If she's like you say she'll sabotage herself quite fine

It's much like you don't go and yell at people in Thailand, it's confrontational and does more damage to you

 

I am 100% Full Parental Power.

She cannot ever revoke that, my son is dual Canadian/Thai and is now in Canada.

My ex-wife who is Thai and has a criminal record can never travel to Canada.

Her family has zero right to contact him and they do not.

She has zero right to contact him, she came out of prison last fall

 

(Life sentence, confess and get 25 years, every king's pardon is 20% reduction in sentence, time off for being a good prisoner, overcrowded jails needing cleaning out = 9 years in the monkey house)

 

My Son and I Left Thailand for Canada before that, she has not tried to contact me or my son, saying  to my ex nanny, who is her cousin that she is not longer the mother, the ex nanny is as she helped raise him.

 

When we left for Canada, the normal members of her family, the ones I actually liked from the nanny to various cousins all said GOOD for me and encouraged us for taking my son to Canada and out of Thailand and away from her. They say she is crazy and refuse contact with her now.

She had the golden ticket of a well of foreigner who built and big house for her, land, etc and she threw it in the garbage because of short sighted greed.

 

I have made a will in Canada nominating my brother and sister in law as his guardians if I should die before he is of legal age.

A trust has been set up to handle my estate that will provide for his upbringing and education, with him gaining control at age 25.

His future is taken care of.

Edited April 23, 2022 by kwonitoy