Thai Farang Relationships

[terry57]

Terry57

I knew it would hit a nerve and adolecent answers would be served up.

I am a bit guilty also I married a thai when I was in my mid 30's and she was in her mid 20's.

I have gotten out of relationships because of age difference. Young and hot is ok, but not long term, at least for me

anyways. I felt it was more detrimental to them than me, I am not up to rasing children while in my 50's and

60's. Work has been enough through the years and a little free time to travel and relax is needed.

They can finder a younger ATM I hope, many of them have enough boyfriends on the side already.

at least you are being honest mate but your relationship has only a ten year age gap which is bloody nothing and very normal.

im talking about 60 year olds with 20 year olds and no one will ever convince me that it is nothing but a sugar daddy coughing up with the coin which is perfectly ok, if you keep it as a business transaction.

but never try and convince me its love as that is nothing but bollicks.

thank you very much.

[jumnien]

I just spent some time with a newlywed couple from Vermont, both are honkies. He is 55 she is 25. They seemed happy enough and I was honored to meet them both. Why all this pre-occupation with age in relationships? If you like your mate to be born in the same year then fine; we all have our little fetishes. For the record, my first wife (a honky) was 22 and I was 34 (it lasted 5 weeks). my second wife is Thai and was 32 when we married and I was 44 (it's lasted 4 years so far)

[garro]

what I have seen and do see is a majority of abnormal age difference in foreigners relationships to any other place in the world.

This is not rocket science.

Kill the messanger when you don't like the message, right.

I sure would like to hear any reasonable answer for this. I have been in at least 20 countries for more than a month

at a time and I have never seen the same abnormal relationship age wise, not even amoungst their own population.

Kill the messanger when you don't like the message, right.

No, you pity him because he only sees what he wants to.

My thoughts exactly cdnvic. I would suggest to Khun? that he spend a bit more of his focus on the people of the country he is visiting. Perhaps if he spent less time concerned with other tourists/expats he might get a bit more balanced view of the country. I would also suggest that the farang he sees in certain areas of LOS may not be representative of ex-pats who live here.

well khun has a good point, because if an old fella is walking down the street in australia with a lovely looking young girl the punters start laughing and then throw rocks at him.

its a fact mate, and anybody with a bit of truth in him will tell you that.

thank you very much.

You paint a lovely picture of Australian and its citizens.

sorry mate,

but im only being truthful and i think we can extend that list to any western country.

it is a fact and any aussie will tell you so.

Can't say about Australia but I originally come from Ireland and nobody would bat an eyelid about an older man with younger woman. In fact up until recently it was the norm as the women tended to be a lot more mature then the men. There was a 15 year age gap between my grandpartents and that was considered normal. Usually men didn't want to settle down until their mid-thirties while women were good to go in their twenties.

[Khun ?]

Here is what gets me, most of us have only done well because of the opportunities from our home country.

I don't think any of us are a Carlos slim or Bill gates.

If we had grown up under the same laws and conditions of thailand we would be embarrassed to admit

where we were from. I don't get this slagging ones home country and now living in Thailand with it's faults

which are far worse if you had to grow up under them.

Then again many failures are moving to Thailand that done muck all back in their homeland.

Just another observation.

Ok I got it, must be Thai pride in them. Hope they keep it in mind when they report in every 90 days, never will have any rights residence structure.

[qwertz]

You're lucky to have a wife, all of you.

You don't really miss a good woman until she's gone.

From a widower.

sorry to hear about your wife qwertz,

i feel that if you have a good wife than thats the best thing in the world, but on the other hand if you dont have a good wife than you are so much better off being a free agent.

Thanks for that, T, it's why I view this subjject from a different corner.

If anyone is agonising how life's going to be with her, try to picture how it will be without her.

QUOTE(thai_narak @ 2007-07-04 14:43:34) i see some farang that they cannot even speak to their thai wives... is this love???

My wife was German, not Thai, but we also had no common language when we first met.

However, we had instant rapport and before I learned her language we managed to communicate very well with occasional help from a dictionary.

And we were together for 11 years, right up to the death.

Was this love???

[mellow1]

This guy is pissing most of you off on purpose,and getting a kick out of it.It's very nice of all of you to oblige him.

I met my wife over twelve years ago in a market were she had a small business.She was very pretty and nice.She is 6 yrs. younger than I,never married.Now we have a beautiful,son and home.It's the best thing that has ever happened to me.In the States we worked hard,saved and used our money wisely.My wife has stood by me through thick and thin,and continues in doing so here in the LOS.

12yrs. ago here in Issan there were hardly any cars,no cell phones,and at 6oclock in the morning loud speakers would come on,sprouting propaganda and the national anthem.Along with officials in uniform going to eat breakfast and presumably to work.It looked like communist country out of a movie.Even all the children wore uniforms.Many women came up to me wanting to introduce their daughters to me, other times it was just the daughters.

Human and social issues where worse than they are now,although they haven't changed much,and certainly haven't caught up to cell phones and cars.It was almost impossible to meet a woman who did not want to get out of here.In many respects that is still true today.

It does not bother me to see a young woman 40 yrs. younger than the farang she is with.She has probably made choice which is obviously better than the other choices she has.She can also probably rest assured that the farang will not sell her ass for a few Baht,as I've so many times seen done by Thais.

This OP worries about a few old farangs and their Thai wifes,and therefore wants to push someones button.He would really go through some changes, if the young farangs where interested in coming here ,all the young women would flock to them because of a different philosophy and respect toward women.Not to mention the responsibility put into providing for the family, and the ability to do so.

This OP is probably angry about a situation that he has had a part in creating.

[soundman]

It does not bother me to see a young woman 40 yrs. younger than the farang she is with.She has probably made choice which is obviously better than the other choices she has.She can also probably rest assured that the farang will not sell her ass for a few Baht,as I've so many times seen done by Thais.

A reasonable comment. But what about the older farang who may have visions of romance, & doesn't see the trade off, when the younger partner is swapping her youth for security?

Soundman.

[qwertz]

So true, mellow1 and soundman.

And the OP isn't pushing any of my buttons.

Notwithstanding, I think the OP has a lot to learn and I hope this thread has helped to provide a broader view of relationships.

Edited July 5, 2007 by qwertz

[mellow1]

soundman:

I agree that trading ones youth for security is not ideal,and I probably would not do it.But then again,I have never felt myself in a position to contemplate it.

Also,I personally wouldn't want to have a very young wife.I would not feel secure in the relationship,what would we have in common.My interests would be vastly different.Might have a stroke at the Disco.There may be other ways I could harm myself.

[qwertz]

soundman:

I agree that trading ones youth for security is not ideal,and I probably would not do it.But then again,I have never felt myself in a position to contemplate it.

Also,I personally wouldn't want to have a very young wife.I would not feel secure in the relationship,what would we have in common.My interests would be vastly different.Might have a stroke at the Disco.There may be other ways I could harm myself.

Mellow1, consider this - you might die smiling.

IMO, if I ever have the good fortune in my life to find another good woman, I could care less about what other people think of my choice of partner.

[soundman]

soundman:

I agree that trading ones youth for security is not ideal,and I probably would not do it.But then again,I have never felt myself in a position to contemplate it.

Also,I personally wouldn't want to have a very young wife.I would not feel secure in the relationship,what would we have in common.My interests would be vastly different.Might have a stroke at the Disco.There may be other ways I could harm myself.

In my last post, I'm not saying it is good or bad. I think with the question I raised, "Devil's Advocate" would be a more apt description.

From my point of view, as long as both parties understand each other's reasons, there are no problems at all. I certainly am not one to raise an eyebrow when a sixties something bloke has a twenties something wife.

Cheers,

Soundman.

[TAWP]

'Funny' noting that some of the proponent of the theory regarding money as the main aim for thai woman in this thread are thai males...

[garro]

I don't see anything 'funny' about it. I wouldn't be able to tell you the motivations of all the women where I was born so why should I think that a Thai man can know all the motivations of the women where they are born.

Edited July 5, 2007 by garro

[November Rain]

Might it change some of your views about OP and "his" motivation for asking the initial questions, if you found out "he" is in fact a female? I think they were genuine questions, posed by someone who is genuinely curious about something they don't understand. OP was simply asking for help in understanding some situations.

I started a similar thread a few months back & got some fantastic answers. No-one had a go at me or my motives for posing the questions I did. Why is that? Because you guys already knew I was a farang female? Cut her some slack, huh?

[WaiWai]

I agree that trading ones youth for security is not ideal,and I probably would not do it.But then again,I have never felt myself in a position to contemplate it.

Right. People from dysfunctional backgrounds/with emotional troubles aside, twenty year olds don't *typically* gravtitate towards people of their parents/grandparents' age as a partner in "romance" unless there's some reward, in the form of employment, money, social status or the like.

The young person may feel they have no better options in life, or may feel obligated to provide funds to their parents. If love was truly involved, why wouldn't the richer half of the partnership provide the younger with a scholarship; no strings attached ?

[terry57]

I just spent some time with a newlywed couple from Vermont, both are honkies. He is 55 she is 25. They seemed happy enough and I was honored to meet them both. Why all this pre-occupation with age in relationships? If you like your mate to be born in the same year then fine; we all have our little fetishes. For the record, my first wife (a honky) was 22 and I was 34 (it lasted 5 weeks). my second wife is Thai and was 32 when we married and I was 44 (it's lasted 4 years so far)

well 32 and 44 seems ok to me, but 55 and 25 seems a little bit over the top.

i mean good on them and all the best of luck but when he's 75 she will be 45.

you must remember that love dies sometimes, ( actually a lot of times ) and if i were a betting man i would not be putting my money on that relationship.

[WaiWai]

55 and 25 seems a little bit over the top.

i mean good on them and all the best of luck but when he's 75 she will be 45.

you must remember that love dies sometimes, ( actually a lot of times ) and if i were a betting man i would not be putting my money on that relationship.

A death might be just what the younger partner IS betting on .

[terry57]

soundman:

I agree that trading ones youth for security is not ideal,and I probably would not do it.But then again,I have never felt myself in a position to contemplate it.

Also,I personally wouldn't want to have a very young wife.I would not feel secure in the relationship,what would we have in common.My interests would be vastly different.Might have a stroke at the Disco.There may be other ways I could harm myself.

In my last post, I'm not saying it is good or bad. I think with the question I raised, "Devil's Advocate" would be a more apt description.

From my point of view, as long as both parties understand each other's reasons, there are no problems at all. I certainly am not one to raise an eyebrow when a sixties something bloke has a twenties something wife.

Cheers,

Soundman.

i also dont raise an eyebrow if im in los and see a sixty year old fella with a twenty something, but if i was in perth and seen the same thing id have a bit of a giggle as its very unusual indeed.

[observer21]

Out of the thousands and thousands of farang men with Thai women, married or girlfriends, how many (not literally) are really in love? It's just that there's sooo many male farang with Thai partners (compared to farang women with Thai men) that is it a case of the men wanting to be looked after in ways that foreign women don't or something else? I'm genuinely interested, not asking to get negative feedback. I also don't pass judgement on Thai/farang relationships...each to their own...just inquisitive

My wife makes me laugh and smile everyday (and I'm a grouchy old bast@rd). I won the lottery the day I met her.

how much did you win groucho

[terry57]

I agree that trading ones youth for security is not ideal,and I probably would not do it.But then again,I have never felt myself in a position to contemplate it.

Right. People from dysfunctional backgrounds/with emotional troubles aside, twenty year olds don't *typically* gravtitate towards people of their parents/grandparents' age as a partner in "romance" unless there's some reward, in the form of employment, money, social status or the like.

The young person may feel they have no better options in life, or may feel obligated to provide funds to their parents. If love was truly involved, why wouldn't the richer half of the partnership provide the younger with a scholarship; no strings attached ?

this is a fair enough comment, and no one can dispute the fact that young girls usually dont find old guys attractive unless there is a sweetener involved.

i mean put yourself in a young girls position, who would you want to be with? a young good looking guy that likes to have abit of fun or an old guy who is ready to take it easy.?

most of the young girls i see around the place are wanting to mix it up with there own age so there's got to be more to the deal for them to hang out with old guys.

im talking 20 year olds verses 60 year olds.

thank you very much.

[observer21]

i see some farang that they cannot even speak to their thai wives... is this love???

I see many ferangs married to ferang wives whom havent spoken to each other in years

[terry57]

55 and 25 seems a little bit over the top.

i mean good on them and all the best of luck but when he's 75 she will be 45.

you must remember that love dies sometimes, ( actually a lot of times ) and if i were a betting man i would not be putting my money on that relationship.

A death might be just what the younger partner IS betting on .

i did not want to say that as it might cause world war 3 but sinse you mentioned it i must say that you could be getting close to the truth especially here in los.

thank you very much wai wai.

[jumnien]

I detect more envy and jealousy coming out on this thread than any in recent history. A superficial glance at couples enjoying themselves grips some peoples innards in a horrible way.

[terry57]

I detect more envy and jealousy coming out on this thread than any in recent history. A superficial glance at couples enjoying themselves grips some peoples innards in a horrible way.

could be only 1 person is enjoying themselves and the other is performing a roll more to the point.

[observer21]

what I have seen and do see is a majority of abnormal age difference in foreigners relationships to any other place in the world.

This is not rocket science.

Kill the messanger when you don't like the message, right.

I sure would like to hear any reasonable answer for this. I have been in at least 20 countries for more than a month

at a time and I have never seen the same abnormal relationship age wise, not even amoungst their own population.

i got to tell you khun,

you are sure making a few people very unhappy as you seem to have hit a raw nerve with your post.

actually, i think you have a very valid question and ive been waiting for a good answer but all i see is the punters having a big dummy spit.

so could somebody please supply an answer to mr khuns extremely valid question with out chucking a sad, as id like to hear it as well.

thank you very much.

Even if your Michael Douglass then you must know that your missus may rather do the naughty with some guy  around her ownd age - its just human nature. law of attraction.  Seems that a lot of posters to this

thread are in some form of denial.  When would a 25 year old girl ever fancy a 55 year old guy - how many times do you see it in 1st world countrys (Michael douglass excluded)!  10 or 12 years is normal in many societys, 15 to 20 suspect, 25 plus - is what it is!

[WaiWai]

could be only 1 person is enjoying themselves and the other is performing a roll more to the point.

Performing a roll and a role, yes. Exactly. The operative word being performing.

[observer21]

I detect more envy and jealousy coming out on this thread than any in recent history. A superficial glance at couples enjoying themselves grips some peoples innards in a horrible way.

could be only 1 person is enjoying themselves and the other is performing a roll more to the point.

exactly - it is what it is

[RueFang]

"This OP worries about a few old farangs and their Thai wifes,and therefore wants to push someones button.He would really go through some changes, if the young farangs where interested in coming here ,all the young women would flock to them because of a different philosophy and respect toward women.Not to mention the responsibility put into providing for the family, and the ability to do so.

This OP is probably angry about a situation that he has had a part in creating."

Is this aimed at me for my original post or to Khun? who seems to be trying to push all the buttons??? I'm just genuinely fascinated by the phenomenon and I really have no thoughts good or bad about age differences....my grandmother was married twice to men that were 30 years her senior and even though they've both been dead for a very long time, she still swears they were the loves of her life...some people just have a thing for older men....that said, it's pretty obvious that not all of these relationships are genuine....but who cares if everyone involved is happy. People are way too judgmental and need to focus of finding joy in their own lives rather than b*tching about everyone else who are trying to find happiness.

November Rain - thanks for that and thanks to everyone in this thread who give honest answers without the judgement...to all the others...there's always got to be a couple of you out there, good luck finding any happiness in your lives.

[WaiWai]

not all of these relationships are genuine....but who cares, ifeveryone involved is happy

Well, I would not be happy in a non-genuine relationship & so, care if a relationship is genuine. I would have thought the same applied to most people, but who knows ?

Edited July 5, 2007 by WaiWai

[RueFang]

I was talking about the dudes who want looking after and the women that want the money....not "genuine" as in loving, but it works for both of them.