Thai Farang Relationships

[gburns57au]

While we are on the subject of sub-serviance, I can tell you that not all thai women fit this mold. My wife can't cook, won't clean, blows the weekly budget on whatever current fad takes her fancy, gambles, smokes, doesn't drink, is more headstrong & beligerant than most males & is very scary when I come home from the pub late & pissed & she's at the door with a .38 in her hand.

Still, as cdn put it, couldn't have been luckier that day 11 years ago she walked into my club in Australia & happened to know a mutual friend who introduced us.

Yeah you won the lottery allright just not in the way you think. I'm pretty sure the Thai men are thanking you for that one.

I forgot to mention her good points.

She is great fun, good mother, highly intelligent, an extremely astute business women, not at all boring to be around, very loyal, understanding of males & generally has to put up with me!

With the gun, yep that's true, she carries a fire arm everyday (work purposes) & having it waved at you sure gets the adrenaline going, but its not much different than my mother chasing me with a cricket bat when I was a naughty child. Hope I never do something bad enough that warrants the gun being discharged in my general direction.

Cheers,

Soundman.

Interesting....there are very few jobs in Oz that will allow an employee to take a firearm home with them...even the coppers have to sign them in and out.

[WaiWai]

I was talking about the dudes who want looking after and the women that want the money....not "genuine" as in loving, but it works for both of them.

OK - nothing to do with loving at all, then.

I just happen to believe that education could provide completely different pathways for many young people who currently get involved in these "relationships" , and that this country is not exactly fulfilling its duties in providing the young with options.

[gburns57au]

I think what a lot of people forget, is the way a lot of Thai women are treated by their own men.

They get knocked up at a young age and the guy runs off...leaving them with the bundle, or he starts cheating on her with younger women....many Thai ladies talk about being too old and on the shelf once they reach 30yo.

Many Thai women will marry an older man because he represents security and monogamy, and this is more true in the case of older farang men.

Apple has had a few rough trots with me as far as finances go on her visits here...she said once that she knows it can be difficult but as long as I am trying to do my best then she is happy with that. So our relationship is not based on money alone, although like any woman she wants to know that I can provide for her and her son when they come to live here. In other words she doesnt want to end up with a no hoper husband.

I am not sure when "love" came into it...I think our relationship is based on mutual respect and understanding...we think the same way...we value each others opinions...we dont argue but rather discuss our problems. That in its self makes it different to any relationship I have ever had with a Farang woman. She is certainly not subserviant in any way, and like some guys have said about their wives, she has a strong will of her own.

The best thing I like about her is that she leaves the toilet seat up....Joking !!! (well she does but it aint the best thing about her) And her Step Dad is a member here too....

[Gary A]

Due to a factory closure in the US, I moved here in 1991 to work. I was single and wasn't familiar with the culture. One of the Thai engineers I worked with was aware that I wasn't happy living alone. He worked at fixing me up with a good Thai lady. His rule number one regarding age difference was a simple formula. The accepted age difference in Thailand was half a man's age plus seven years. He insisted that a lady and her family were comfortable with that formula. Thai ladies are more comfortable with older men because they are of the opinion that an older man is more stable and the relationship has a better chance of lasting.

Good advice or not? I have to say that the formula worked for me. Let's face it. Old farts like me like to think we have something to offer, BUT, is a 20 something year old lady going to be happy long term with an old man? Wishful thinking is my opinion. To each his own.

[phutoie2]

i see some farang that they cannot even speak to their thai wives... is this love???

I see many ferangs married to ferang wives whom havent spoken to each other in years

Both my marriages were failures. The first one left me and the second one stayed.

[jetjock]

Both my marriages were failures. The first one left me and the second one stayed.

[qwertz]

i see some farang that they cannot even speak to their thai wives... is this love???

I see many ferangs married to ferang wives whom havent spoken to each other in years

Both my marriages were failures. The first one left me and the second one stayed.

Amen to that!

My first wife was Scottish, there was no language problem at all.

We misunderstood each other perfectly in English.

[GracelessFawn]

Who are we to judge what's love and what's not? We love people for different reasons.

[MaiChai]

Is this the 'I feel good got a Thai wife' thread?

Alot of these mix cultural marriages don't last, especially when the cultural novelty wears off and you realize you have nothing in common. Maybe the interesting girl looses her shine when you realise she is just an uneducated country girl who will never understand your Western/suburban/educated ways? There is always the keenness on the farang side to have a serious deep relationship when the Thai is just enjoying the moment. My question is whether you really need to marry them? Whats love? Enjoying someone until they irritate you or until you are bored and want something new?

On a positive note my current girlfriend is a Uni student and she is very clever/educated/passionate. So maybe this is the type to go for? But then she is still poor and needs the financial support. In return I get commitment and support. Guess you always pay one way or another? Well if you can afford it, enjoy if for as long as it lasts, but dont give them all your money? I really do believe she loves me and she keeps telling me I am her first real love.

I do believe, and have seen many times, young Thai ladies falling in love with old farangs. We try and analyze it, but if you asked the girl why it just come down to the fact that she loves him and they have something special in their relationship. Anyone can fall in love?

Edited July 5, 2007 by MaiChai

[nidge]

there is no big difference between thai and farang women except their incomes.

you always hear guys talking about how sweet eastern european women are... its because they have less options, it means they are more likely to be a better gf to you

trust me, leo decaprio's girl friends cook and clean just as good as your thai gf does.

western women, and singaporean women, have lots of options and they dont need a man to provide for them, only to give them a big O... that means plenty of guys are unwanted... in thailand, more women want them and will treat them better.

tell your thai wife you are broke and see how sweet she is then.

srry, this is the way of human nature... deal with it.

When i met my wife she was working in Bahrain as a hair stylist and i was commuting from Bangkok to work in the middle east. We clicked so well that after 6 months i left my beautiful (rented) apartment in Thailand and moved to Bahrain so i could spend all my time off with her. Life was really good and i had never been happier in my life.

Then it all went wrong. My contract ended at work, i had no savings to speak of and no back up plan. I had read on other posts and from guys at work that Thai girls are only interested in money and that she will be saying good bye when i got back home. We had a good long talk and she told me that over the 5 years she had worked most of her salary had been sent home. She paid the rent and all the bills for the following 4 months until i found another job. She also took my bank books from me and started managing all the money. It was a hard time for both of us, but for me the worry of not finding a job was overshadowed but the thought of her walking out. A job offer came via a contact of hers and we started to get back to normal. Soon, thanks to her ability to look after money my bank account was healthier than i had ever seen. We eventually moved to her mums house in Thailand, and got married. Now we have a beautiful baby boy and a lovely house. I like to think my wife is unique, but i know from readings some of the posts in TV there are many more success stories out there.

Another comment i have noticed is about finding someone with whom you have something in common. Why is this such a big deal. With my wife, we share the same Surname, Son and address. That's about it. For me that's perfect. It means i have tons to learn about her and she has the same from me. You don't need things in common, you just need to care.

[Jersey_UK]

FWIW, guys in their 40's, 50's and 60's marrying Gals in their early to mid 20's is not an everyday event in my part of Farangland, and as far as I can tell the same applies in Thailand.........just look at the Thai TV adverts and Soaps, ain't full of Thai 20 something gals drooling over older men (Thai or Farang).

But IMHO it ain't "wrong".

Having said that, I reckon any way older fella who marries a gal in her early 20's or younger from ANY country / culture deserves all he gets..........as they say, be careful what you wish for!........and in Thailand 21 can really mean mentally and emotionally 10 years younger.........to compensate for me having to deal with all that she would need to have a 4th hole

Byt I think that as Thai Women get older (early 30's plus?) that a 20 or 30 year age gap is less of a difference given that Thai women in Thailand get regarded as being "old" quicker than Farang women and also regard themselves as such (Does Thailand have books like 50 is the new 30? or Cosmo articles on having multiple orgasms whilst bungy jumping and breast feeding at 43 years of age? )

IME many women are attracted to partners with "power" (these days that is more likely to be measured in money, but can also be related to prospects, connections and family and probably other stuff )..........not to say this is the only attraction or this attraction overrides all other considerations............but it is certainly a biggy for women and may compensate for a fella having a few deficiencies elsewhere - even if not always recognised by the women concerned.........I suspect it is simply sometime genetically programmed from caveman days, like blokes usually going for either b#ms or t#ts

When it comes to women who are near the bottom of the pile economically in a 3rd world country like Thailand and with little practical prospect of being able to improve her lot, then many will regard most Farang as a combination between Bill Gates and Moses.......and for simply the chance of having a future will be only too happy to compromise on him not also looking like Brad Pitt!..........her age is basically immaterial to her desire for a partner with "power" apart from it being her main initial chance of attracting such a mate............does it make her always "Just in it for the money"?? IMO not, unless she decides this is what she wants..........

Maybe 1 or 2 of the previous posters are getting confused about the nature of the relationships between the "many" old Farang men and the much younger Thai women they see walking around in Pattaya..........I suspect not all of them are married .............or can even name the other

[SiamSquare123]

look, i know that it bothers those of you with normal marriages when someone points out the parameters of 9 guys out of 10's marriage in thailand.

if you are that 10% exception, let me congratulate you. but to make a comment like "money is not an important factor in relationships between farang and thai women" is just silly.

and for all of the 50 year olds married to 20 year olds, yeah yeah yeah we know that you "didnt come to thailand for girls" and that "you have no problem getting 20 year olds back home" yada yada yada yada.

Edited July 5, 2007 by SiamSquare123

[soundman]

With the gun, yep that's true, she carries a fire arm everyday (work purposes).....

Cheers,

Soundman.

Interesting....there are very few jobs in Oz that will allow an employee to take a firearm home with them...even the coppers have to sign them in and out.

This is Thailand. Out in the countryside most cash business operators own guns (especially gold shops) & many carry them (although illegal without a special permit) on a daily basis, to & from work, back & forth to the bank etc. Our service station has been robbed at gunpoint three times in the last five years. Being trained in the use a firearm & carrying it when you are collecting the days takings makes one feel a little more at ease.

Cheers,

Soundman.

[cdnvic]

Is this the 'I feel good got a Thai wife' thread?

Alot of these mix cultural marriages don't last, especially when the cultural novelty wears off and you realize you have nothing in common.

If anyone is even considering marriage before this point then you're asking for trouble. When the language and cultural barriers break down is when you learn what if anything you have in common. Rushing into any marriage, regardless of cultures is stacking the odds against yourself. That I'm sure leads to far more problems than age. People who are in Thailand for a short time who suddenly just have to be married.

[jetjock]

Is this the 'I feel good got a Thai wife' thread?

Alot of these mix cultural marriages don't last, especially when the cultural novelty wears off and you realize you have nothing in common.

If anyone is even considering marriage before this point then you're asking for trouble. When the language and cultural barriers break down is when you learn what if anything you have in common. Rushing into any marriage, regardless of cultures is stacking the odds against yourself. That I'm sure leads to far more problems than age. People who are in Thailand for a short time who suddenly just have to be married.

Both of you hit on the the vital key to any successful relationship when you used the phrase'in common". Of course cultural and age differences can make a relationship a little more challenging but if you do not share common interests and want similar things out of life it makes a happy relationship virtually impossible.

Edited July 6, 2007 by jetjock

[terry57]

i would like to say that the old fella's with the young girls ( 60's verses 20's) just use a bit of common sense and keep it purely and simply as a business deal.

its not a hard thing to do and will make everything so much easier, instead of trying to convince one's self that the poor girl could possibly love them.

i mean, this is why old fella's jump out of high rise buildings when it all goes to <deleted> as they cant handle the rejection.

just strike a deal with the said girl, keep her in a very nice life style and when you die she gets all your money for services rendered, and i must say she has earned her money just by doing the naughty with some of these fellas.

jessus,

that must be a whole lot of fun and its makes me feel a bit <deleted> crook just thinking about it.

anyway you old guys, have a think about it as its a real top idea if you are an honest punter.

thank you very much.

[mellow1]

terry57 look up honkie in the dictionary if you dont want others to be derogatory to you.

RueFang:sorry,I did make a mistake,and I did mean Khun.

Edited July 6, 2007 by mellow1

[qwertz]

While we are on the subject of sub-serviance, I can tell you that not all thai women fit this mold. My wife can't cook, won't clean, blows the weekly budget on whatever current fad takes her fancy, gambles, smokes, doesn't drink, is more headstrong & beligerant than most males & is very scary when I come home from the pub late & pissed & she's at the door with a .38 in her hand.

Still, as cdn put it, couldn't have been luckier that day 11 years ago she walked into my club in Australia & happened to know a mutual friend who introduced us.

Yeah you won the lottery allright just not in the way you think. I'm pretty sure the Thai men are thanking you for that one.

I forgot to mention her good points.

She is great fun, good mother, highly intelligent, an extremely astute business women, not at all boring to be around, very loyal, understanding of males & generally has to put up with me!

With the gun, yep that's true, she carries a fire arm everyday (work purposes) & having it waved at you sure gets the adrenaline going, but its not much different than my mother chasing me with a cricket bat when I was a naughty child. Hope I never do something bad enough that warrants the gun being discharged in my general direction.

Cheers,

Soundman.

Interesting....there are very few jobs in Oz that will allow an employee to take a firearm home with them...even the coppers have to sign them in and out.

Special dispensation from the godfather.

[sbk]

Is this the 'I feel good got a Thai wife' thread?

Alot of these mix cultural marriages don't last, especially when the cultural novelty wears off and you realize you have nothing in common.

If anyone is even considering marriage before this point then you're asking for trouble. When the language and cultural barriers break down is when you learn what if anything you have in common. Rushing into any marriage, regardless of cultures is stacking the odds against yourself. That I'm sure leads to far more problems than age. People who are in Thailand for a short time who suddenly just have to be married.

Both of you hit on the the vital key to any successful relationship when you used the phrase'in common". Of course cultural and age differences can make a relationship a little more challenging but if you do not share common interests and want similar things out of life it makes a happy relationship virtually impossible.

This, I agree, is a key point and one that can make or break a relationship. It is easier to love someone you understand and share key values with, not so easy if you have nothing in common between you. This,I believe , is regardless of whether or not love was the original cause of the relationship.

[page449]

"I guess deaf and dumb people can fall in love too".

Deaf and MUTE people can communicate quite well with sign language, Dumbee

Edited July 7, 2007 by page449

[Khun ?]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Honky

Honky

Same as trailer trash more or less. Maybe some dictionairies do not get into the slang of words but calling a white girl from home a Honky would be the same as refering to an asian girl as a monkey or worse.

Honky, Honkey or Honkie is a predominantly American derogatory racial slur for a white person, usually applied to males.

The word derives from an African-American pronunciation of "hunky", the disparaging term for a Hungarian laborer. The first record of its use as an insulting term for a white person dates from the 1950s.

Honky was later adopted as a pejorative in 1967 by black militants within SNCC seeking a rebuttal for the term nigger. They settled on a familiar word they felt was disparaging to certain Americans of European descent; hunkie meaning an American of Slavic or Hungarian descent.[1][2]

In Australasia and Singapore, a person of Hong Kong origin is categorised as a Honky, a term that some people of Hong Kong take offense at. They prefer to be called "Hongkongers". In fact several brochures from the Hong Kong Tourism Board makes reference to this new term.

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=honky

This one is garbage for referrence as not many people had cars or horns on cars back in the 1920's.

terry57 look up honkie in the dictionary if you dont want others to be derogatory to you.

RueFang:sorry,I did make a mistake,and I did mean Khun.

Edited July 7, 2007 by Khun ?

[Khun ?]

Not sure about the guy from Ireland, but his grandfathers marriage was more than double the average marriage

age difference for a mid 30 guy in Ireland ( 6 years for 30's) and for 20's is 2 1/2 years, it is documented but I am to lazy after a few days ago to referrence again).

[Khun ?]

In fact a asian girl, even in Thailand marrying way out of her age group woud more or less be seen in the same

fashion as a Mia Noi to most educated thais and most all foreigners. Maybe not as sever to another craddle robber

though.

i would like to say that the old fella's with the young girls ( 60's verses 20's) just use a bit of common sense and keep it purely and simply as a business deal.

its not a hard thing to do and will make everything so much easier, instead of trying to convince one's self that the poor girl could possibly love them.

i mean, this is why old fella's jump out of high rise buildings when it all goes to <deleted> as they cant handle the rejection.

just strike a deal with the said girl, keep her in a very nice life style and when you die she gets all your money for services rendered, and i must say she has earned her money just by doing the naughty with some of these fellas.

jessus,

that must be a whole lot of fun and its makes me feel a bit <deleted> crook just thinking about it.

anyway you old guys, have a think about it as its a real top idea if you are an honest punter.

thank you very much.

[qwertz]

I think instead of regarding these relationships as Thai/farang they should be viewed for what they really are - man/woman relationships.

Of my 3 previous wives, one was Scottish, one Asian and one German.

There was a need for mutual adjustment to life as a couple in all 3 cases.

My lesson in life - women are basically the same, with minor differences influenced by local customs and milieu, if you live together.