Thai/farang Young/old Relationships

[britmaveric]

realmadrid25/johhnyThai/BangkokSingapore, I will address you as one for obvious reasons.

I can smell a troll at 250 paces.

Smth we finally agree on Maigo!!!

[britmaveric]

realmadrid25/johhnyThai/BangkokSingapore, I will address you as one for obvious reasons.

I can smell a troll at 250 paces.

Smth we finally agree on Maigo!!!

[AsiaCheese]

Not answering to the original post -- just commenting on comments

Where exactly is it that you guys with - uhm - negative comments on age differences have a problem? 100% pure Western eyes & brain cells & attitude says that a guy needs to be in the range of 2~5 years older than his lady. Yeah right... Except we're not talking "Western" here. Ever noticed that in Asia, being a bit older doesn't necessarily & automatically classify you as deadwood? And that a lady might actually enjoy & appreciate the slightly calmer lifestyle of an "older" guy? And his life experience and yada-yada-yada [all else that comes with age] ?

Not every guy who's with a "significantly younger" lady is a cradle snatcher by definition. And not every young lady with an older guy is just waiting for him to kick the bucket & get her hands on the loot. Go ahead, apply narrow-mindedness and pure unadultered Western "rules" to the rest of the world, and lift their jungle attitudes into the 21st century -- yeek. Oh, come to that -- why not throw in a good helping of Bible Belt "thinking" while we're at it. Eat our rules...

Okay, okay -- everyone to his own ideas... Let me just add that my father (European) was 20 year older than my mother (European), and boy, was it an absolutely perfect relationship...

[kangeroo]

The age difference is 28 years ... hmmm ... quite a lot. At the age of 21, you want to go out to discos, parties, get drunk, have fun every night you can. I know, I have a daughter of 25. But a wife of 21 or 22 ?

And then I read nowhere in your post that there is love.

What will happen, if her visa to USA is refused? Long distance relationships don't work if they are on an "exclusive" level, at least not if you are 21.

I would say, enjoy her company as long as it lasts, but consider marriage only when you are ready to move to Thailand.

:yes enjoy her while you can . she will tell you she wants no money and she will wait for ever and has no boyfriend and yes i forgot she is not the same as other woman . but in the end you will find someone older when it is all said and done .

cheers Kangeroo.

[TheExpat]

Do what makes you happy. It is better for your lady to smell like perfume than Ben Gay.

Who cares what anyone esle thinks. When I am back home with the Mrs., the stares / smirks that I get are from jealous old bags. My frineds wives hate it, but my friends are always teliing me that they wish they were me!!!

Edited September 16, 2007 by TheExpat

[oosik]

If you haven't read Thailand Fever, do so. It is written in both Thai and English....on opposite pages, and it covers many of the cultural differences that many times are responsible for the breakup of cross-cultural relationships...Thailand specifically.

So long as both of you go into a marriage with open eyes, fully comprehending all the possible problems, and you have good communication skills and share feelings and thoughts, my advice is to go ahead and marry the young woman. It sounds like both of you are intelligent enough to have concidered those arguments often voiced by younger men (as seen in here) jealous as hel_l that you have invaded their age turf.

Chok dee khup!!!

[WaiWai]

Still wondering about her family.

It would seem highly unusual for a Thai family to allow their University-age daughter to take overseas trips with a foreigner, would it not ?

[farang2002]

wow! nothing in his post indicates she is same same as mia noi. give the man sum respect. oops, he pay to support her long distance. in a way she is like a mia noi,,,,,,hehehe. does she go to ramkangheang uni?

also nothing indicates that said girl is a player...............lol. everything points to lub.

rock stars dont marry young chicks coz they in lub!

Yeah, but men marry for love, women for security, (money!) ... as long as there's security, there's love.

[papaya9]

Siddv- Be VERY careful. There is a decent chance you can be deceived and lose everything... If you disregard this advice don't say no-one told you so! If nothing else, take it very slow. If she's worthwhile, she'll wait. Mine waited 7 years...passed all with flying colors! Good Luck.

[blizzard]

its not so mut the age difference i care about. its the fact she is a kept woman...........

[JUDAS]

Yes here we go again!!!!

The age old question..the facts..Shes a 21 year old full time University student graduation in May 08. She just completed her 13 week hotel mamangement training prgm ata top BKK hotel. Her mind is older...She lives in BKK and I support her. Me I'm a 49 year old practicing atty living in the USA in BKK 5-6 times a year 3 weeks each time. I look (really.. thanks dad for the good genes 10 years younger and and in good shape 163lbs 5'10. I have all my thick drk brown hair . She's tall for a Thai and comes in at 44kilos. We have been together for almost 2 years.

We have a blast when I'm there and we travel in and outside Thailand, I spoil her on the holidays, ..Her Engish is about 80% and we plan to apply for a USA student visa for the upcoming year for an ESL for professionals course. I have sowed some rather wild oats in BKK and am really to take it easy and enter a new phase of my life..really. And she has laid down the law..screw around and she's gone!!! I plan to work maybe 7 more years in the USA going and coming as I do and then and bring a $ mill to retire. I'm ready to pop the question and shes waiting...is there anyone here that can talk me down??? Do we have a chance..I'd really like to hear from the experts here..

Thanks

Hi,

I think if you're here aking that question, you probably know the answer, for you. The question itself, in my opinion, shows you certainly have doubts about the future of the relationship and, as you get older it will feel that she is getting younger!! I wish you well for the future.....

[zzdocxx]

Have not read all of the replies but maybe I can offer a different perspective. I am English, female aged 52. I have been living with a Thai guy aged 25 for around 18 months. It is not easy. Even if her English is good you must realise that the Thai culture is very different from our own. Yes of course she is looking for financial security and she will almost certainly expect you to care of her family - this is a daughters duty here.

But hel_l it is good fun as well. It is challenging but it certainly stops life being dull. I don't look my age either and we have a good laugh at the reaction from other Westerners. Thai people just accept our being together and his family is happy about it. Just don't expect her to be anything other than Thai and accept that you will have to make most of the compromises.

Go for it and good luck

Good for you, and good luck!

[JimsKnight]

To the OP, good luck with your girl.

The money thing will always be a factor, no matter what a lot may ramble on about here.

If you have money, you have power, without it you're in trouble.

Thailand is not the welfare state of the UK or economic powerhouse of the USA. Cash is king.

It's like a previous poster said; There is no black and white, only shades of grey.

I've seen and heard the most black hearted, pitless women bragging about the money they made each month while they worked the bars for extra coin and pretty honest girls who stay true to their sponsor (as long as the money comes through;)).

To the billionaire dreamers who seem to think that a million $ is fck all; I think you need a reality check and a calculator to work out the investment potential and interest on savings that would get you. Before tax a million dollars would be bringing in at least 150k baht per month in interest.

Maybe the money barons that obviously live on TV should visit klong toey and see how the other half live, a million $ would certainly not be considered pocket change by those folks!

Edited September 16, 2007 by JimsKnight

[siamamerican]

Not answering to the original post -- just commenting on comments

Where exactly is it that you guys with - uhm - negative comments on age differences have a problem? 100% pure Western eyes & brain cells & attitude says that a guy needs to be in the range of 2~5 years older than his lady. Yeah right... Except we're not talking "Western" here. Ever noticed that in Asia, being a bit older doesn't necessarily & automatically classify you as deadwood? And that a lady might actually enjoy & appreciate the slightly calmer lifestyle of an "older" guy? And his life experience and yada-yada-yada [all else that comes with age] ?

Not every guy who's with a "significantly younger" lady is a cradle snatcher by definition. And not every young lady with an older guy is just waiting for him to kick the bucket & get her hands on the loot. Go ahead, apply narrow-mindedness and pure unadultered Western "rules" to the rest of the world, and lift their jungle attitudes into the 21st century -- yeek. Oh, come to that -- why not throw in a good helping of Bible Belt "thinking" while we're at it. Eat our rules...

Okay, okay -- everyone to his own ideas... Let me just add that my father (European) was 20 year older than my mother (European), and boy, was it an absolutely perfect relationship...

Don't have an issue with age disparities. Do think the large disparities are odd, but so are many other things in Thailand. Not every guy is a cradle robber or every girl a gold digger. The point many posters are making is that most guys are attracted to younger women and many women are attracted to financial stability. You don't see too many wealthy Thai women with men older than themselves or Farangs with older women.

Both parties in many cases get what they want and live a good life. Some of the relationships end badly for a myriad of reasons, but this can be said about relationships in the Western World.

If you're an older man, why ignore the reality that you're wife was at least in small part attracted to your wealth. I hope with age, I become more secure with the choices I make, and don't constantly ignore realities.

[VonD]

Yes here we go again!!!!

The age old question..the facts..Shes a 21 year old full time University student graduation in May 08. She just completed her 13 week hotel mamangement training prgm ata top BKK hotel. Her mind is older...She lives in BKK and I support her. Me I'm a 49 year old practicing atty living in the USA in BKK 5-6 times a year 3 weeks each time. I look (really.. thanks dad for the good genes 10 years younger and and in good shape 163lbs 5'10. I have all my thick drk brown hair . She's tall for a Thai and comes in at 44kilos. We have been together for almost 2 years.

We have a blast when I'm there and we travel in and outside Thailand, I spoil her on the holidays, ..Her Engish is about 80% and we plan to apply for a USA student visa for the upcoming year for an ESL for professionals course. I have sowed some rather wild oats in BKK and am really to take it easy and enter a new phase of my life..really. And she has laid down the law..screw around and she's gone!!! I plan to work maybe 7 more years in the USA going and coming as I do and then and bring a $ mill to retire. I'm ready to pop the question and shes waiting...is there anyone here that can talk me down??? Do we have a chance..I'd really like to hear from the experts here..

Thanks

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hey hey...

I am no expert but my thinking is ... it's a win-win situation for both of you.. and if you and her are happy, what else matters? ... Go for it... "Mai bpen Rai" ... ไม่เป็นไร

Live everyday to the fullest... enjoy yourself... nothing is guaranteed... Look at these poor souls on this recent Phuket airplane crash... some of them were probably worried about their financial situation ... now all those things don't matter.

My prayers go out to them...

Moreover... most male/female relationships in Thailand are about 25 years difference anyway... so you are only slightly above the curve... Haha...

Another perspective... if you are 49ish.. she is 21ish... the difference in dog years (28x7) = 196 years... WOW! dude.. how can you go wrong... this is a no brainer for you...

Humor aside...

sincerely, best wishes...

Happiness is never measured in Years anyway... only in Moments...

[vanalli]

Yes here we go again!!!!

The age old question..the facts..Shes a 21 year old full time University student graduation in May 08. She just completed her 13 week hotel mamangement training prgm ata top BKK hotel. Her mind is older...She lives in BKK and I support her. Me I'm a 49 year old practicing atty living in the USA in BKK 5-6 times a year 3 weeks each time. I look (really.. thanks dad for the good genes 10 years younger and and in good shape 163lbs 5'10. I have all my thick drk brown hair . She's tall for a Thai and comes in at 44kilos. We have been together for almost 2 years.

We have a blast when I'm there and we travel in and outside Thailand, I spoil her on the holidays, ..Her Engish is about 80% and we plan to apply for a USA student visa for the upcoming year for an ESL for professionals course. I have sowed some rather wild oats in BKK and am really to take it easy and enter a new phase of my life..really. And she has laid down the law..screw around and she's gone!!! I plan to work maybe 7 more years in the USA going and coming as I do and then and bring a $ mill to retire. I'm ready to pop the question and shes waiting...is there anyone here that can talk me down??? Do we have a chance..I'd really like to hear from the experts here..

Thanks

It's a wind up, right?

[siddv]

Ok my last comment...I promise before I just let this thread fade away. First of all, I thought this was an issue of interest not only by me but many others possibly in a smilar situation. Thus I thought the issue had not only personal merit but might contribute to the community as a whole. I'm not so insecure or unsure that I HAVE to resort to posting on a public forum..but I am open enough that I am interested in hearing other viewpoints even if they are critical and negative. I've seen the hyper critical attacks posted here before, I'm a big boy and play on a rough field. I have no problem with that. I thought that was why we were here, to discuss issues that we face by living here or becoming involved with the people of Thailand. . I think that I was right in the end. There are some very good kernals of wisom that have been expressed here by some and I truley appreciate the time people took to express those views. They will be considred not only by me but others I'm sure, that one day may encounter a similar question or crossroad. So I thank you all for your contribution. Sidd

[legag]

That's right Sid. You have the answer. Wish you all the best.

LeGag.

[Maigo6]

That's right Sid. You have the answer. Wish you all the best.

LeGag.

Sorry, don't even know why I responded to this thread, sorry............... 7.57 am is maybe why, and 3 Hrs sleep in 48 Hrs don't help.

Sorry for any offence.

Edited September 17, 2007 by Maigo6

[legag]

Maigo6

It happens. Totally no offense or whatsoever.

Good morning and a good day.

[Maigo6]

Maigo6

It happens. Totally no offense or whatsoever.

Good morning and a good day.

4 hours later I was up again !!

[piersbeckett]

Yes here we go again!!!!

The age old question..the facts..Shes a 21 year old full time University student graduation in May 08. She just completed her 13 week hotel mamangement training prgm ata top BKK hotel. Her mind is older...She lives in BKK and I support her. Me I'm a 49 year old practicing atty living in the USA in BKK 5-6 times a year 3 weeks each time. I look (really.. thanks dad for the good genes 10 years younger and and in good shape 163lbs 5'10. I have all my thick drk brown hair . She's tall for a Thai and comes in at 44kilos. We have been together for almost 2 years.

We have a blast when I'm there and we travel in and outside Thailand, I spoil her on the holidays, ..Her Engish is about 80% and we plan to apply for a USA student visa for the upcoming year for an ESL for professionals course. I have sowed some rather wild oats in BKK and am really to take it easy and enter a new phase of my life..really. And she has laid down the law..screw around and she's gone!!! I plan to work maybe 7 more years in the USA going and coming as I do and then and bring a $ mill to retire. I'm ready to pop the question and shes waiting...is there anyone here that can talk me down??? Do we have a chance..I'd really like to hear from the experts here..

Thanks

[piersbeckett]

Yes here we go again!!!!

You're in such a great position but you seem to hanker after or are being pushed into the exclusivity thing; the dreaded weakness - you can't be lonely and you've got a great job so just don't do it - there are thousands of women here that would love to have you for a while and when you're old you should have the dough to be 'looked after' by two or three young things; really sound relationships are almost impossible to form between thais and farangs even without the age difference - I reckon you should try to get a woman in the states who doesn't need you exclusively but with whom you can have a long lasting, deep and meaningful relationship - agony aunt piers

The age old question..the facts..Shes a 21 year old full time University student graduation in May 08. She just completed her 13 week hotel mamangement training prgm ata top BKK hotel. Her mind is older...She lives in BKK and I support her. Me I'm a 49 year old practicing atty living in the USA in BKK 5-6 times a year 3 weeks each time. I look (really.. thanks dad for the good genes 10 years younger and and in good shape 163lbs 5'10. I have all my thick drk brown hair . She's tall for a Thai and comes in at 44kilos. We have been together for almost 2 years.

We have a blast when I'm there and we travel in and outside Thailand, I spoil her on the holidays, ..Her Engish is about 80% and we plan to apply for a USA student visa for the upcoming year for an ESL for professionals course. I have sowed some rather wild oats in BKK and am really to take it easy and enter a new phase of my life..really. And she has laid down the law..screw around and she's gone!!! I plan to work maybe 7 more years in the USA going and coming as I do and then and bring a $ mill to retire. I'm ready to pop the question and shes waiting...is there anyone here that can talk me down??? Do we have a chance..I'd really like to hear from the experts here..

Thanks

[Alex8]

Do we have a chance..I'd really like to hear from the experts here..

don't listen to any advice. there are no experts here, only individuals who judge based on their personal experience. the decision has to be made exclusively by YOU!

Dr.Naam. I think you and Maigo6 have it all in a nut shell. Before I tread warily into this maelstrom, I wish to say that perhaps I should read all 18 pages before I post. It's more than possible that later posters will already have said what I'm thinking. I do not wish to be guilty of repetetive clutter.. but here goes, my two pennyworth.

The OP, with his quals should know not to trust advice, only information. The two are vastly different creatures. An old homilie states that thereare only two kinds of advice, the kind that you ask for and the kind that you do not ask for. With the former, you have no intention of following it even if you get it, the latter, you would rather be seen dead than follow it...hence, never offer or request advice. Deal only in information and let the other guy make up his own mind. ( I do add the clause, that the OP has already stated that he knows the ultimate decision rests with him.)

But would I become a client and trust a mature, busy, 49 year old attorney who openly says that his desk is littered with this kind of material..and he then goes on to post on this forum, laying out his dilemma, like a teenager might? Would I heck.

If the girl exists and if she could visit this thread, I think she would do better to hunt her fortune elsewhere. We really don't need attys who are two sandwiches short of a picnic and get wealthy taking candy off kids.

Mods, if this offends your rules, delete me.

Alex8

[Alex8]

Maigo6Today, 2007-09-13 09:09:39

You have money and power, you get women that you would not get if you were poor and powerless, same everywhere.

again, so true that money and power always come together!!

Suszzy, not many people on ThaiVisa agree with me, mainly cos I go against the Status Quo here, i.e. Farangs are all good and the Thai people are only taking advantage.

I've lived in Thailand long enough to know that Farangs are quite capable of taking advantage of many situations, using their financial power to get what they want, and taking advantage of a persons financial vulnerability whenever they want to.

I just try to balance it out.

Maigo6...please keep on keeping on. This forum needs some balancing out. I'm still with you on your attitude, although I doubt I have the stamina to enjoy all current 18 pages. I'm also prepared to be contraversial and unpopular even though it may sometimes tend to crush the humour.

I'm not sure yet why you post that Lee Van Cleef image, even though I enjoyed the trilogy begun with Clint's 'The Good, The Bad and The Ugly, or was it A Fistful of Dollars that started it? (apology for drifting off topic)

Alex8

[ratchabuild]

Maigo6Today, 2007-09-13 09:09:39

You have money and power, you get women that you would not get if you were poor and powerless, same everywhere.

again, so true that money and power always come together!!

Suszzy, not many people on ThaiVisa agree with me, mainly cos I go against the Status Quo here, i.e. Farangs are all good and the Thai people are only taking advantage.

I've lived in Thailand long enough to know that Farangs are quite capable of taking advantage of many situations, using their financial power to get what they want, and taking advantage of a persons financial vulnerability whenever they want to.

I just try to balance it out.

Maigo6...please keep on keeping on. This forum needs some balancing out. I'm still with you on your attitude, although I doubt I have the stamina to enjoy all current 18 pages. I'm also prepared to be contraversial and unpopular even though it may sometimes tend to crush the humour.

I'm not sure yet why you post that Lee Van Cleef image, even though I enjoyed the trilogy begun with Clint's 'The Good, The Bad and The Ugly, or was it A Fistful of Dollars that started it? (apology for drifting off topic)

Alex8

My grandfather who is 89 has just married a 23 year old Thai girl. At my wifes insistance, because of the worries about over-strenuous sex, I raised the isssue of an early death with him, he said, "if she dies she dies"

Edited September 19, 2007 by ratchabuild

[blizzard]

lol.......... i did question this guys sense and openly wondered if this guys makes for a good attorney.