Your Worst Thai Messups

[HS Mauberley]

Not one of my mistakes but I came across a Chinese student a while ago with the - from a Thai perspective - unfortunate name of Jia Lim.

[meadish_sweetball]

she very calmly and politely explained that I had not been asking for sun protection cream but pussy protection cream…oops!

To be more specific, 'anti-clitoris cream', i.e. cream to protect you from clitorises (clitorii?).

[disforkid]

<br />

she very calmly and politely explained that I had not been asking for sun protection cream but pussy protection cream…oops!

<br /><br />To be more specific, 'anti-clitoris cream', i.e. cream to protect you from clitorises (clitorii?).<br />

<br /><br /><br />

Meadish thanks for for the clarification but is dtairt the slang/swearword for a clitoris if is there a more polite term - not that I'm planning to use it in everyday conversation but would like to know!!!

[meadish_sweetball]

The medical terms are ปุ่มกระสันต์ [bpòom grà-săn] and เม็ดละมุด [mét lá móot].

[luckyfarang]

Years ago I found the word KHAW® TAAN in the dictionary defined as "beg for alms"

When I asked why the monks come around every morning and beg for alms, I quickly learned the word

BIN-DTA(l)-BAAT(l)

And then there was the time that I was up north long ago and ordered what I thought was red snapper, and instead got canned sardines. You figure it out.

Edited December 18, 2007 by luckyfarang

[DavidHouston]

Years ago I found the word KHAW® TAAN in the dictionary defined as "beg for alms"

When I asked why the monks come around every morning and beg for alms, I quickly learned the word

BIN-DTA(l)-BAAT(l)

And then there was the time that I was up north long ago and ordered what I thought was red snapper, and instead got canned sardines. You figure it out.

ปลากระป๋อง bplàak-rá-bpŏng [N] canned fish; tinned fish

vs.

ปลากะพง bplaa gà pong - snapper

[stateman]

Years ago I found the word KHAW® TAAN in the dictionary defined as "beg for alms"

When I asked why the monks come around every morning and beg for alms, I quickly learned the word

BIN-DTA(l)-BAAT(l)

Indeed, in Buddhism, the monk comes around to allow people to offer alms to gain merit - not to beg for food. The alms-giving frees the monks up to focus on advancing his practice to benefit mankind.

On the other hand, receiving alms and doodle all day without trying to advance is frown upon.

[Tod Daniels]

I just had one come up in my Thai language class last week. Evidently it was such a "fox paw" the teacher waited until AFTER the rest of the students left for break while motioning me to wait for clarification of the issue.

I had never heard or learned the thai word for 'physique or shape of the human body'; ร่างกาย (raang-F gaay-M). She was blushing beet red trying to explain to me in english what I had actually said and what it meant. She talked about obliquely about a tunnel which gets smaller on the body, etc.

I was at a complete loss until I came home and looked up different words for niche; cubbyhole; nook. I think what I had said and what she was referring to my saying was; ร่องไก่ (raawng-F gai-L), using the thai word for chicken as slang for woman.

I still don't really know as she was very flustered and we worked on the correct pronunciation of ร่างกาย until I got it down.

[kudroz]

Had a good laugh with this thread. I've just been here 2 years and I have not studied Thai whatsoever, my wife is Thai and I picked up a few words here and there to facilitate my interactions with Thai people.

Last week my wife asked me to stop at the fish shop to get a "mae baan" fish (fish that cleans the aquarium by sucking on the window, etc). I look around the shop for that fish, couldn't find it. I ask an employee "kor sew bplaa gin khi" (I would like to buy a fish who eats stools). The guy couldn't stop laughing... I figured my accent was wrong or something... so I say "dtoo bplaa krong phom mai sa-aat krap, mee kee mak mak".

I ended up calling up my wife and handed over my mobile so she explains what she needed...

[PeaceBlondie]

This discussion only shows me that Thai is one extremely difficult language to learn and speak. If I can't even say "mother" without implying "horse" or "dog," can't say 'pretty' without saying something very bad, and if it's that easy to accidentally say "prostitute" and "pubic hair" and "penis," I won't even try. Many of you seem to be saying that you made these mistakes after more than a year of intense lessons and effort. No, thanks.

[WeeGB]

I like to help my nephews and nieces with their English. So, whenever they go the the shops they ask me in English, what I want. I once replied Nom Hok. They were literally rolling on the floor laughing. At the time, I thought I was asking for a six pack of milk, (Nom-milk, hok -six), but it seems in reality I was asking for saggy boobs. My wife was quick to point out I had some already, why did I want more!

I still have great difficulty with the language, but thankfully Thai people are very forgiving of errors, if you make the effort, they invariably try to help.

[soundman]

I like to help my nephews and nieces with their English. So, whenever they go the the shops they ask me in English, what I want. I once replied Nom Hok. They were literally rolling on the floor laughing. At the time, I thought I was asking for a six pack of milk, (Nom-milk, hok -six), but it seems in reality I was asking for saggy boobs. My wife was quick to point out I had some already, why did I want more!

I still have great difficulty with the language, but thankfully Thai people are very forgiving of errors, if you make the effort, they invariably try to help.

Or spilled milk!

[siamesekitty]

.

.

My turn came up first and I was telling everyone that I had a great weekend because on Friday night I went to a bar and had a "gig" for the fist time in ages. Instantly my teacher said "what the.........?"

"Yep" said I - "I had a gig on Friday and it was so good I did another one on Saturday at the same place."

.

.

Ajaan Rae had to jump in and explain that a gig in English is when someone goes to play in a band or in my case play guitar at a bar/restaurant and not take a girl on a short time.

She then come out to explain this vital difference in meaning between the Thai and the English version of the same word.

Gig - an enjoyable interlude, involving payment. Means the same in Thai but in a totally different context

CB

I burst out laughing as soon as I saw the first few sentences, and it got worse as I kept reading. (The people in the coffee shop are looking at me kinda funny right now. )

But just a small correction. A "gig" is not necessarily paid. It's a person, guy or girl, who you have a casual/flirting relationship with (not necessarily involving sex). The word just came to the attention of mainstream use a few years ago, though it was used a bit among the younger folks for some time before that.

It comes from the word "goog-gig" (กุ๊กกิ๊ก), meaning cute, childish. Think of when you see couple fawning over each other and engaging in playful baby talk (no, not the Tinglish that some farangs use with their less educated companions, I mean real baby talk like with Thai/Thai or farang/farang, with pet names and stuff)

[siamesekitty]

I like to help my nephews and nieces with their English. So, whenever they go the the shops they ask me in English, what I want. I once replied Nom Hok. They were literally rolling on the floor laughing. At the time, I thought I was asking for a six pack of milk, (Nom-milk, hok -six), but it seems in reality I was asking for saggy boobs. My wife was quick to point out I had some already, why did I want more!

I still have great difficulty with the language, but thankfully Thai people are very forgiving of errors, if you make the effort, they invariably try to help.

Or spilled milk!

Nom hok = spilled milk, or... "boob slip" (not really saggy boobs)

Think Tara Reid

[klons]

I was outside a relatives house and couldn't figure out how to get the kick stand up on a strange bike. So I said chûay dûay , hoping someone would come out and show me how, I thought it was a polite way to ask for assisstance. When they saw I hadn't cut my finger off or wasn't having a heart attack, I got scolded. The wife said chûay dûay was for emergency HELP! only and if I had said it any louder all the neighbors would have come to see what's wrong.

ช่วยด้วย ( chûay dûay )

help! ;

While getting the word from the dictionary for this post, I came across another chûay word that I will not be using.

ช่วยตัวเอง ( chûay dtua eng )

help oneself ; do it yourself ; masturbate

It was the snow faux pas that brought me to this thread. I did that one and was looking to see if it was already done.

[sorensen]

My Thai is no way near you guys and this one might only be understood by Scandinavians.

Once my gf pointed towards a pick-up truck with some monks in the back and said "pik so"....I was laughing so bad.

I think the proper work for monk is phra-pik-so-ni or short just Pik-so, which is a VERY VERY rude word in my native Danish.

[Ijustwannateach]

When I first started teaching, I taught a girl whose nickname was transliterated 'Ki' (but in Thai it had the soft consonant sound), but I used the hard consonant for many months (to much laughter from the class) until she took me aside with a red face and explained what was going on....

[klons]

My Thai is no way near you guys and this one might only be understood by Scandinavians.

Once my gf pointed towards a pick-up truck with some monks in the back and said "pik so"....I was laughing so bad.

I think the proper work for monk is phra-pik-so-ni or short just Pik-so, which is a VERY VERY rude word in my native Danish.

Yes it does work both ways. I was with my wife while shopping for earrings. The shop girl assumed my wife was an asian foreigner and spoke English. My wife asked to see a pair of earrings, the shop girl got them out and said "here, you can taste them."

[Groongthep]

Perhaps only Americans and Canadians over 40 will get this one, but here goes anyway: Years ago on American television there was a very corny and unsophisticated country music show called "HEE HAW" ( can't really be translated into anything a non North American would understand) but this show, in between music spots and comedy skits would often cut to some girls with big t!ts and wearing very short Daisy Duke style cut off jeans and yell the show's title: "HEEE HAAAW!" before cutting to a commercial. I was in a college dormitory at the time and remember a Thai exchange student friend of mine laughing uncontrollably after seeing this. I was rather puzzled and amused when he looked over at me and said simply " (my name)...America is a great country!". I didn't understand what was so funny until years later when I began learning Thai. I guess "packaged pussy" would strike anyone as a rather strange title to a television program.

[bhoydy]

I'm always checking myself before i say sport - กีฬา

I have got the vowels mixed up on occassion and it has come out like Gaalee, which i'm told is slang for a prostitute - oops

And yes, it has been answered incorrectly to what do you like to do in your spare time?!!!

[Jeddah Jo]

Make so many awful howlers it is hard to remember them all, but a couple are...

ไปดูนัง or Bpai doo nang(M) rather than nang®

Which instead of go and see a movie, means going to go and a look at girls.

and also

ไปหมอห้า or Bpai mor haa

Which instead of going to see the doctor, I think means 'going' (sexually) with 5 doctors!

[orpheus454]

Ok. So this seems the natural cousin to the other thread I started. I have totally blown it with my Thai waaaay too many times to remember. Sometimes it's a matter of grammar, or others it's the wrong verb, and then there's those darn tones.

One that always comes to mind right off the bat happened when new to Thailand and Chiang Mai. There's a street named after a very well respected family in town called Nimmanhaemind. Of course it's such a mouthful and has irregular vowel patterns for most Farang, that they butcher the heck out of this name. It's quite easy to get right, really with some practice, or if you study the spelling in Thai, but most don't. In any case, I once asked a police officer which way was Thanon Nee- man- hee - men ?

Should have ended in 'hae-min', but I think there are lots of words in Eng like 'vehement' which have a a long e, short e rhythm to them and this is what I imitated. Needless to mention the cop was stunned by the Falang who was half speaking intelligently, and half rudely - accidentally. He didn't know what to make of it. As I repeated it more slowly, emphasizing just the street, more loudly as well 'Neeee- mahn - heeeee - men' he got more and more distracted by the 'hee men' and eventually started laughing and shaking his head no at me. He explained to me 'Hee men,' pud mai dai', and corrected me. This of course has gone on to be one of my favorite Thai screw ups.

And if you don't know, it means 'smelly fashina'.... wooops!

This seems a simple one to make too. Another friend of mine from Colorado was trying to explain during the cold season that during that time in her country there is alot of snow. Mii hima! yoe. But then, if you don't use the short salaa a you get 'hee- mah'. Very bad. And compared to Thailand, I'm not sure that Colorado would win anyway, who has more 'dog fashina' or not, what with all the soi dogs running around. Needless to say she thereafter learned the differences between ะ and า.

Having a beer with dads of students one time, wanted to show off my grasp of coloquialisms, got up from the table intending to say จะไปยิงกระตาย

They sort of looked at me funny, and it wasn't until I was in the bathroom doing my business that I realised I'd said, instead, จะไปชักว่าว

Edited to fix my typing.

Edited December 27, 2008 by orpheus454