Mid Life Crisis

[MrSquigle]

Any one know the symtems of this ??

What about grumpy and crotchety of late....could be wrong time of month if I was female...but not.

[londonthai]

might be related to the men's menapouse - hormone imbalance. You might try a food supplement in tablets called DHEA - might be available over the counter in thailand, if not than mail order from the usa. Worth to buy a batch of 6 boxes to get a discount and save on postage and packing. You might share it with your partner or with collegues/friends - everybody over 40 should take them.

[visionary]

Any one know the symtems of this ??

What about grumpy and crotchety of late....could be wrong time of month if I was female...but not.

As I understand it, A mid life crisis is coming to a point of deep anxiety about unfulfilled expectations and responding to it by taking excessive steps to make up for lost time. I believe everyone feels that frustration at different times in life. The important thing is to respond to it by taking measured and rational steps in the direction of fulfilling longings without throwing your existing life and relationships into total chaos.

[MrSquigle]

Ok, doubt the mid life crisis is the problem.....think I had that at 35....fast car and younger gf.....made me happy, so don't know why its labeled a 'crisis'

Certainly been more crotchety and grumpy and even angry in the last 6 months.

As for everyone over 40yo should take this DHEA...that is a bit over the top statement. Secondly I generally hate taking medication of any sorts.

But I have read from time to time that this type of problem is overcome immediatley and makes a huge change in people when the correct problem and correct treatment is diagnosed.

Problem is that here in Los, you never know what your really getting....good or bad advice....from the docs.

[visionary]

Ok, doubt the mid life crisis is the problem.....think I had that at 35....fast car and younger gf.....made me happy, so don't know why its labeled a 'crisis'

Certainly been more crotchety and grumpy and even angry in the last 6 months.

As for everyone over 40yo should take this DHEA...that is a bit over the top statement. Secondly I generally hate taking medication of any sorts.

But I have read from time to time that this type of problem is overcome immediatley and makes a huge change in people when the correct problem and correct treatment is diagnosed.

Problem is that here in Los, you never know what your really getting....good or bad advice....from the docs.

I believe negative emotions are usually a result of unfulfilled expectations. Reducing expectations reduces negative emotions. To feel the way you do there must be something unfulfilled.

As to the docs, I trust them to some extent in diagnosing biological illnesses and in treating bodily injury but I'd never trust them in spiritual, emotional or psychological issues because the medical profession is too tainted by Freudian rubbish. In the case of major illness I would never trust one of them alone in matters of surgery or mind altering drugs. I always tell people thinking about surgery or medical drugs to get two independant verifications of their initial diagnosis without telling the other 2 doctors about the first one or his diagnosis. You wouldn't believe the number that have come back with 3 different diagnosis and 3 different remedies. Some patients came back screaming in rage because they would have preferred to take their chances on the first diagnosis rather than try to figure out which if any of 3 diagnosis was accurate. So far no one has ever come back to me with 3 identical diagnosis and remedies. In the event that does occur I recommend seeing a Naturopath before going under the knife or consuming their dope.

I have had a few health issues diagnosed that resulted in the issue of prescriptions. In each case I consulted my herb and nutritional books and came up with nutritional substitutes that worked out very well. Nutritional supplementation is almost free because you have to eat anyway.

There is only one medication that I haven't been able to beat nutritionally and that is Nasonex. I'd love to find something better than that.

[MrSquigle]

Not really.

But then again if everyone thinks about it enough they will find something that they want to do, or have wanted to do and were not able to do it....Everyone.

So in that case, you would have to say there are a lot of very angry people out there.

Not the case.

As i have said, I do not like medications and usually go the extra mile and/or put up with it rather than take medications. I do not remember ever finishing a course of something prescribed for whatever reason. I often just let my body heal itself, takes longer often, but I figure it may heal stronger in the end.

Not sure really, had 3 operations here in Los in last few years. Never had any back home and rarely went to a doc in fact.

I have things I have not done, I have others things I want to do and may or may not do them. They do not stress me out and I take a very realistic approach to them, if I can I will. If I cannot I will either try again later or just forget about it.

I have done many more things throughout my life that the greater majority have not. I have not done as many things as some others have done. I have on the other hand done some things that several years ago I thought I would never do and they have given me the greatest joy and satisfaction of my life so far.

I am not sure why, but there as you say, must be a reason for it and I would really like to know why and fix it if possible.

[jaiyenyen]

Members from the UK may remember a BBC series called Grumpy Old Men. It featured a number of celebrities in their 40's and 50's talking about thing in life that irritated and upset them. Very very funny.

It was amazing how many things I agreed with, I suppose that must make me one!!

Grumpy Regards

Jaiyenyen

[batami]

if it is still in print the book "Seasons of a Man's Life" byt Daniel J Levinsonis worth a read - if you are really prepared to fact that you (we) are getting older.

he defines the stages of life for men as:

3 - 17 childhood and adolescence

17 - 22 early adulthood transition

22 - 40 early adulthood

40 - 45 mid life transition

45 - 60 middle adulthood

60 - 65 late adult transition

65 - late adulthood

And I share these selected quotations …

Mid life transition: mans bodily and mental powers somewhat diminished after 40, but still ample for a full active life through middle adulthood. In middle adulthood man can be free of petty vanities, animosities, envies and moralisms of his earlier life. Normal sexual capacity is enough for satisfying sex life. More compassionate teacher to young adults. Most men undergo a mid life change in style of work and living. Middle adulthood is when other qualities (compared with strength quickness endurance and output of an early adult) can ripen: wisdom, magnanimity, unsentimental compassion, breadth of perspective.

Men can see these changes as a threat although he is certainly not at the threshold of senility or death! Mid life crises is a normal development but many men deny that his life must change, for better or worse. By denying it he can loose an opportunity for personal development. There is a need to mourn the dying self of youth - without the acceptance of the inevitability of transition there is pain, anguish, frustration, and denial.

So guys, there you have ....

If we can avoid the frivolous this could be the source of considerable and entertaining debate.

I have lived through it - fought it, denied it, attacked it, but in the end had to accept it... and get on with life. Consoling myself with the fact, for some, the more mature male is a very attractive species (or at least so I am told!). And this is no reference to wallet and bank account

OVER TO YOU ....

[visionary]

The negative emotions that flow from unfulfilled expectations don't necessarily mean there is something wrong with our world view or our character. A lot of us are in very bad surrounding circumstances that are beyond our control no matter how enlightened we are. I have had some success in dealing with that by adding activities that are gauranteed to produce positive results. One example is befriending the friendless. Another one I am starting work on is immediate fire relief. I have a friend on disability welfare that was burned out of her townhouse. I was surprised that there were no agencies offering her any form of relief whatsoever. She ended up homeless and without food. I can't see any downside to providing assistance to someone in that circumstance whereas I have been very depressed about failures of the welfare system in general.

[nidge]

3 - 17 childhood and adolescence

17 - 22 early adulthood transition

22 - 40 early adulthood

40 - 45 mid life transition

45 - 60 middle adulthood

60 - 65 late adult transition

65 - late adulthood

I can see a stage missing in this list. Where is second childhood? I'm 40 and i have been at this stage for a while. Hopefully i'll stay here a little longer too.

[MrSquigle]

You and me too.

I am in transition....I wondered what that floating feeling was after the weed.

There is also the 2nd infant syndrome, the one where you lose all your teeth, hair, dribble a lot and make gaga noises, wet the bed and need help washing.

To be honest, I do not get any great feeling of satisfaction from helping others, not to say I do not, I have, but just dont get any feeling of satisfaction from it, nothing lasting more than a minute or 3 anyway.

[visionary]

[quote name='MrSquigle' date='2007-10-16 09:41:00' post='1598103'

To be honest, I do not get any great feeling of satisfaction from helping others, not to say I do not, I have, but just dont get any feeling of satisfaction from it, nothing lasting more than a minute or 3 anyway.

Different people have different ambitions, needs ans passions. I still believe the answer lies in reevaluating your expectations from self and others while cultivating a more satisfying life with achievable goals. That is not an easy thing to do, especially if your feelings of discontent arise from inescapable circumstances and relationships.

[Etrigan]

Reminds me of Shakespeare's "Seven Ages of Man" which sums up the ageing process pretty well.

1. The Puking baby.

2. The Lazy Schoolboy.

3. The Lover.

4. The Soldier.

5. The Judge.

6. The Pantaloon.

7. The Second Childhood (without teeth nor hair nor language).

[tim armstrong]

Not really.

But then again if everyone thinks about it enough they will find something that they want to do, or have wanted to do and were not able to do it....Everyone.

So in that case, you would have to say there are a lot of very angry people out there.

Not the case.

As i have said, I do not like medications and usually go the extra mile and/or put up with it rather than take medications. I do not remember ever finishing a course of something prescribed for whatever reason. I often just let my body heal itself, takes longer often, but I figure it may heal stronger in the end.

Not sure really, had 3 operations here in Los in last few years. Never had any back home and rarely went to a doc in fact.

I have things I have not done, I have others things I want to do and may or may not do them. They do not stress me out and I take a very realistic approach to them, if I can I will. If I cannot I will either try again later or just forget about it.

I have done many more things throughout my life that the greater majority have not. I have not done as many things as some others have done. I have on the other hand done some things that several years ago I thought I would never do and they have given me the greatest joy and satisfaction of my life so far.

I am not sure why, but there as you say, must be a reason for it and I would really like to know why and fix it if possible.

A very interesting and somewhat undiscussed topic for men, who unlike women of course, have few physical changes to signal mid life. and dont like talking about it too much Mr. Squiggle there is a whole industry on men and mid life. Much of it is psychobabble, but there is some good literature out there. I've even written a few articles about it myself in another life. Send me a PM and I can give you some useful references if you want some good reading. On the point some made about doctors (GPs) not being helpful in this area - true, as most have very limited training in psychology or counselling. Many psychiatrists are not good at this area either as

mid life crises are not mental disorders. The best advice is to find someone who you regard as -a wise person, and talk to them. This person may or may not be a counsellor, psych., priest or simply someone you can trust, who is a good listener. They don't have to have a psych. background, although those that do may have some more options for you to consider. Hope this is useful. Tim

[Prakanong]

Any one know the symtems of this ??

What about grumpy and crotchety of late....could be wrong time of month if I was female...but not.

As I understand it, A mid life crisis is coming to a point of deep anxiety about unfulfilled expectations and responding to it by taking excessive steps to make up for lost time. I believe everyone feels that frustration at different times in life. The important thing is to respond to it by taking measured and rational steps in the direction of fulfilling longings without throwing your existing life and relationships into total chaos.

I do not think anyone has ever said it better

I am having mine at the moment - thanks and I mean it

[MrSquigle]

This very moment ??

Tell us about it please as it is happening.

[sabaijai]

Any one know the symtems of this ??

What about grumpy and crotchety of late....could be wrong time of month if I was female...but not.

As I understand it, A mid life crisis is coming to a point of deep anxiety about unfulfilled expectations and responding to it by taking excessive steps to make up for lost time. I believe everyone feels that frustration at different times in life. The important thing is to respond to it by taking measured and rational steps in the direction of fulfilling longings without throwing your existing life and relationships into total chaos.

I don't think one can necessarily expect to 'solve' the common midlife crisis. You may find that it endures more or less intact despite every measure you take to counter it. In my case, chaos was just what I needed to get through it. Sometimes when you know things aren't going right, it's just better to start over.