What's The Most Absurd Thing You've Ever Heard Of?

[andyadam]

On a flight one time......

"Good afternoon. This is your captian, Dave Lister, speaking......."

[backflip]

"Elvis Presley, in his latter (fatter) years, shows up clandestinely at an 'Elvis Look-Alike Contest' ....and comes in third. (true story!)"

Well, it's not a true story. The actual true story involved Charlie Chaplan in a "Charlie Chaplan look-alike contest", and coming in third.

[geriatrickid]

1995ish seminar on Thai MoH response to Aids and lessons that other countries could learn. Chinese chap at the podium states that China does not have an Aids issue because of its different culture and health vigilance. No need for education campaigns like Thailand.

Fast forward to this year; UNAIDS, WHO & others voice concerns that China will be consumed by full brunt of Aids epidemic by 2010. Estimates of newly infected Chinese range from 10M-30M. New Thai infections estimated to remain steady at about 20k-25k per annum.

[lazeeboy]

that theres another Rambo movie coming out ,he must be hardup .........

[pop_corn]

"Im not drunk" .. lol I heard it yesterday from a guy who almost didnt manage 2 walk.

[rtaxron]

The British Government saying '' We need the Immigrants for our economy ''

[mrtoad]

Free and fair elections in December

[game4shame]

pattaya described as sophisticated.

[Jingthing]

pattaya described as sophisticated.

Yes, but how about cosmopolitan?

[kiakaha]

I'd like to kick off this thread by saying that for me it would have to be:

An old Catholic priest counseling a young newlywed couple on how to have a healthy sex life.

(no offense to Catholics, but I think you know what I'm talking about, based on events in the news in recent years...)

Organised Religion.

[Theyreallrubbish]

Met a Scandinavian guy in a bar who'd been in the country about a month and so was an "expert" of course. Told me that the Thai's lost respect for you if you smiled.

We were in a group and he tagged along as we did the bar hopping tour and all night he never smiled.

He was young and good looking blond with blue eyes and the girls were initially all over him every place we went, but eventually left him as he wouldn't smile.

Still insisted right to the end that you should never smile in Thailand.

[qwertz]

"I'm sending her money and she's going to leave the bar, go home and wait for me in Udon".

[jaidam]

Lets try and keep it relevant to Thailand dudes.

Heres my 10 baht...

Was on a visa run back in 2005...

Some totally thick farang gimp at a certain (farang) bar in Chumpon...

"Are you going out to Koh Tao tonight?"

Jims Knight -

"Sure am, I'm going out on the big cargo boat ( A large commerical freight transporter)."

Thick gimp -

"Oh really! I know the one you mean. That big cargo boat you're going on sank about a year ago"

Jims Knight

"Really??!"

Gimp -

"Yeah, they got it back in action after a few days!

Jims Knight -

"You'd need a DSV and a heavy lifting barge at the very least, getting it back to work in a few days just ain't gonna happen!"

"No Really, you know in Thailand they can do anything! The (recreational) divers from Koh Tao came out to help, recovered the boat and it was back in action after a few days!!!"

:D

This gimp was either on some wacked out sht or an unhinged loon (probably both!).

Either way it was some absurd sht and for shear lunacy stands at the top echelon of bar room absurd bullsht!

Go on! They found Atlantis? Really? Just off Surat Thani? Never!?

Wonders never cease thanks to some of the 'amazing' farangs in Thailand....

It sounds absurd but the story is true for the most part. Cargo boat Koh Jaroen sank about 2 kilometers from Maehaad at Koh Tao something like 4 years ago. Large crowd of people stood on the pier oohing and aahing as the boat slowly went down.

It wasn't recovered by recreational divers though! Big barge with cranes on it did that, and the boat was out of action for a few months not days.

[geronimo]

I'd like to kick off this thread by saying that for me it would have to be:

An old Catholic priest counseling a young newlywed couple on how to have a healthy sex life.

(no offense to Catholics, but I think you know what I'm talking about, based on events in the news in recent years...)

A government that runs a lotteery telling the people that gambling is bad and hence illegal !!!!!!

[Artisi]

"I'm sending her money and she's going to leave the bar, go home and wait for me in Udon".

yeh - she needs the money for her sick buffalo

[wolf359]

On a flight one time......

"Good afternoon. This is your captian, Dave Lister, speaking......."

Rimmer must have been there somewhere !!

I had a Captain Kirk fly me over the Grand Canyon once..........

[meemiathai]

I must say the fact that there really are adults who believed that the US govt did the 911 themselves. No wonder they worry so much about what can be shown to children on TV! But what can I say, Wrestling can be so popular among adults.

[qwertz]

Indian tailor to Aussie: "I make you a nice suit"

Aussie: "No thanks sport, got too many already"

Indian tailor "Have one more"

[percy2]

That Bush lied by implying (and fooling the majority of Americans) that Iraq had attacked the World Trade Center.

In this topic thats absurd.

On another note.

The was a tragic accident a few years ago when a beam fell during the construction of the skytrain.

I think an unfortunate passenger was killed.

The governor of Bangkok was determined it should never happen again so was considering the strengthening of all taxi roofs.

Cheers

[xyborg]

<br />

I was talking to this guy who told me in all earnestness that all older farangs receive 300 thousand baht per month payment from their government. <br /><br />I tried to correct his simple thinking, but I could see his brain was exploding, so I left it with, not all farangs the same.

<br />so it is not true? <img src="style_emoticons/default/huh.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid="" border="0" alt="huh.gif" /> <br /><br />

<br /><br /><br />

Old story Naam now its 400000!!

[lazeeboy]

a raid on pantip plaza and only one vcd found to be a copy.

[PhilHarries]

Any "crackdown" by the BiB.

[dave111223]

"I'm here visiting my girlfriend; from Pattaya"

[candoman89]

Thai politician(s) saying ..."clear and transparent process"

or

"there is no prostitution in Pattaya"

[waveydavey]

When he was elected didn't Toxin claim he'd fix Bangkoks traffic problems inside six months?

[Suszzy]

My son and Princess Diana have been murdered

by the royal family..!

absolutely nonsense..

[TAWP]

Gore winning the bastard-prize of Nobel Peace Prize as selected by the Norwegian oddballs...

[Stephen Cleary]

"Sure, i met my girlfriend in bar, but my chick is different"

"I think my fiancee is worth the 500,000 baht dowry. Even though she's 43 and has four kids - she looks half her age and is still one heck of a babe"

"You don't understand mate, that guy my girlfriend calls everyday is only her big brother"

"Since i returned home from my short stay in Pattaya and send her money every month, my girlfriend has gone back to live with her family in the village"

Edited October 30, 2007 by Stephen Cleary

[mrtoad]

"Sure, i met my girlfriend in bar, but my chick is different"

"I think my fiancee is worth the 500,000 baht dowry. Even though she's 43 and has four kids - she looks half her age and is still one heck of a babe"

"You don't understand mate, that guy my girlfriend calls everyday is only her big brother"

"Since i returned home from my short stay in Pattaya and send her money every month, my girlfriend has gone back to live with her family in the village"

You cynic,

"I'm telling you, she really is different".

[kmart]

Gore winning the bastard-prize of Nobel Peace Prize as selected by the Norwegian oddballs...

Gore winning was quite the larf, with his alarmist propaganda, but the Noblest recipient evah was undoubtedly Henry Kissenger just after his "secret" bombing campaign in Laos and Cambodia. Winnah!