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Posted

Hello,

I want to introduce myself and say "hi" :o - this is a great site!

I met a thai girl on a website, not one for dating I thought, but I guess I was wrong. Anyway, we've grown closer, I've visited and I think we have both passed each other's "tests". I plan to move to SE Asia anyway, but now I know that I want to marry this girl.

I've read books and forums and am quite well-informed (more than 6 months ago anyway), but I do not know which day would be propitious to propose!

I was thinking of Loi Krathong ... but that's on a saturday and I think that's not a good day otherwise. Or I could wait until her birthday which is the following wednesday.

I'm not thinking that this will replace the thai ceremony - it's a kind of first, western-style proposal (almost!) so that she can get more confidence in me and I can give her something of worth.

Any hints are more than very welcome!

tnx. "tiger" (yes I even have a thai nickname now!)

Posted
Hello,

I want to introduce myself and say "hi" :o - this is a great site!

I met a thai girl on a website, not one for dating I thought, but I guess I was wrong. Anyway, we've grown closer, I've visited and I think we have both passed each other's "tests". I plan to move to SE Asia anyway, but now I know that I want to marry this girl.

I've read books and forums and am quite well-informed (more than 6 months ago anyway), but I do not know which day would be propitious to propose!

I was thinking of Loi Krathong ... but that's on a saturday and I think that's not a good day otherwise. Or I could wait until her birthday which is the following wednesday.

I'm not thinking that this will replace the thai ceremony - it's a kind of first, western-style proposal (almost!) so that she can get more confidence in me and I can give her something of worth.

Any hints are more than very welcome!

tnx. "tiger" (yes I even have a thai nickname now!)

Either 31st November or 31st April :D

Posted

After you have met all her family and had a number of very lengthy mutual interrogation sessions using an interpreter (if necessary) other than your beloved.

This is the Thai way that I think you wanted.

Posted

Interesting line of thought to combine Western ideas w/ all things Thai. Most auspicious days in Thld are Buddha days as per the full and new moon. We have several coming up soon that are quite auspicious this month for Loi Krathong. I know one person opening a business then, two others are moving house, and one other is going to have a big housewarming party after waiting months for this day to arrive. As well, perhaps His Majesty's birthday 12/5 is a good day. Don't know. I'd say keep those on the radar. But for those who commented that weren't jokers, I agree, go see the monks that your tgf's family confide in and they will coordinate all the astrology for you. Only caveat is that they don't make such a deal of engagement here so given that, it may be hard to explain and just up to you to pick the 'luckiest' as you can reckon thru your understanding of Thai lucky/auspicious days.

And... check about the authorative pinned topic here in the top of General topics on the Sin Sod - 'da money you gots to pay 'da family. Important topic of how's and what's.

Chok Dii

Posted

Whatever day you decide upon make sure you have a bellyfull of beer, that way, later, when you are having 2nd thoughts, you can always blame the drink.

Bottoms Up

Jaiyenyen

Posted

I think you need to take many things into consideration Tiger.Why the rush to get married?It's been only six months + and you are seeing things through rose coloured glasses maybe.I would not be judgemental about this but take your time to move to Thailand and go from there.Marriage is a big commitment.

Give it some time to really get to know this girl and her family and take into consideration your career and financial prospects,living arrangements,her job,money etc. It's easy to say 'Hey I'm in love, I want to marry that girl' just be realistic about it.

Does she want to marry you? What would her family's and your family's reaction be?Don't end up a statistic.As for lucky dates,once you've passed her family's tests it's up to the monks to decide the wedding date as to when you should propose? When it feels right of course!

Posted (edited)

Any day that has a full moon would go down well with your partner (lucky day)........

Chodee....

Edit..... I write Thai not as its spelt, but how I can remember

Edited by solent01
Posted

Thanks (non-jokers) for your help. I read the pinned item on sin sod and thong mun. My idea is to progress gradually! Just make a western commitment first, then go for the real thong mun. As for our relationship and the time etc. well, once the arrow is released from the bow it just goes to the target. Neither of us are so young and like I said we both passed all our tests for each other. I've met all her family and they are already calling me 'uncle' (the kids that is). I'm "experienced" enough to know what I'm doing (or maybe not - but that's life right? We cannot know more than we know). Anyway there are few monks here in France ... I think the full moon of Loi Krathong seems apt. The full ceremonies yes of course will be done talking with the monks and the family. That will be the Thai part, for next year.

As for a belly full of beer I might not be able to make myself understood!

cheers. Tiger

  • 4 weeks later...
Posted

well if anyone is interested by the results, then it goes as follows

- We're engaged! (and no it obviously doesn't matter much in thailand)

- the propitious day was clearly loi krathong, where I spent a lot of time explaining what I was talking about!

- I actually popped the ring a few days later on her birthday, after first doing lots of tam boon and praying with the ring at the erawan shrine

- if I had a dollar for every monk I saw in the last trip I could go back again tomorrow ...

- the fortune teller has predicted 3 sons! OMG! :o

permanent rose-colored glasses. I've been around a bit, and it doesn't get better than this! Thai marriage in early planning for next year. We're looking for condo ...

xxTiger

Posted

I hope it all goes well for you but I would agree with momo8. You might want to consider taking it one step at a time. There could be expectations that you haven’t considered. Her family may expect a dowery, she may expect to be supported, for the rest of her life and you may be expected to give up a lot that you take for granted.

You say you plan to come to live in SE Asia. You might want to give it a try before committing to it. Thailand is very different to France. There can be many cultural, geo-political and economic issues that you have not considered. So to summarise, my advice would be “Easy Tiger” (sorry I just couldn’t resist that one:-))

Posted

You never really marry a Thai lady. You just keep her and her family

going until her Thai boyfriend finally wins the lottery.

Naka.

Posted
I hope it all goes well for you but I would agree with momo8. You might want to consider taking it one step at a time. There could be expectations that you haven't considered. Her family may expect a dowery, she may expect to be supported, for the rest of her life and you may be expected to give up a lot that you take for granted.

You say you plan to come to live in SE Asia. You might want to give it a try before committing to it. Thailand is very different to France. There can be many cultural, geo-political and economic issues that you have not considered. So to summarise, my advice would be "Easy Tiger" (sorry I just couldn't resist that one:-))

I've been to SE asia quite a lot (but what's a lot?). Was brought up in singapore (when there were still snake charmers there). I've spent my life moving from one country to another, and am in permanent culture shock.

May I ask how long you have lived with this lady?

You may ask ... LOL. But we're not living together (I'm *still* in France and she's in the L.O.S). When I'm there we live together - in hotels, at her family homes.

Maybe I've not been clear on previous posts. I've met all her family (I think!) and we all get on fine despite the language barrier. They are not expecting a dowry unless I/we want to put one forward (we do, but it will be minimal). No one here is rich, and all anyone wants is a happy couple, rich or poor (or in between).

xxTiger

Posted
You never really marry a Thai lady. You just keep her and her family

going until her Thai boyfriend finally wins the lottery.

Naka.

Oh, and Nake, maybe we differ on the definition of Lady? This is not a bargirl situation, nor is it a young beauty looking for a rich farang. Just 2 people who have found each other, almost by accident. It can happen you know! Not all Thais are out to fleece the farang ...

Posted
Sooner than later you are bound to hear, "It's up to you!" :o

LOL, i got through this stage 2 years ago thank buddha!!!

As long as you are prepared to have too support her family for the duration of your marriage, then you'll be ok..

im young, i got married stupidly after a drunken night out... 3 yrs on we are still together and very happy...

good luck with the 'upto you?' thing

Posted
Sooner than later you are bound to hear, "It's up to you!" :o

LOL, i got through this stage 2 years ago thank buddha!!!

As long as you are prepared to have too support her family for the duration of your marriage, then you'll be ok..

im young, i got married stupidly after a drunken night out... 3 yrs on we are still together and very happy...

good luck with the 'upto you?' thing

LOL I have heard quite a lot of "up to you" and send it back too! there's an excellent article on stickman bangkok from a guy who found that his thai partner would say "it's up to you" when her would-be husband gave the wrong answer. She would come back a bit later with the same question, until the guy got the "right" answer.

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