Cheating Women!

[thaihedgehog]

If you knew that two of your friends (but not really friends) wifes were doing the dirty behind their backs would you tell them??

I am now faced with this problem and don't know what to do!! On the one side it's nothing to do with me so don't get involued BUT on the other side their wives are complete sluts!!

Please give me some help here

[britmaveric]

Well ask yourself would your mates believe you and not kill the messenger???

[taxexile]

their wives are complete sluts!!

steady on old chap !! bit strong dont you think .

[Thaddeus]

Say anything and you will either end up in hospital or ostracised.

[thaihedgehog]

their wives are complete sluts!!

steady on old chap !! bit strong dont you think .

Bringing other men back to his house while he was away!! using their bed and bedroom!! Ok, maybe slut was to strong so i would now use the word slapper to describe them.

[sweetchariot]

their wives are complete sluts!!

steady on old chap !! bit strong dont you think .

No, not strong at all I think.

I made a long post about this a while ago, which I cannot find.

Long story short, I was a relative newcomer to a town in England, and met a friend and colleague who I socialised with, respected, and admired professionally, but was never really allowed into his clique of mates that he went to school with and grew up with.

One night at a party at his house, his wife was all over one of his 'mates' after he had gone to bed pissed. When I objected to this I ended up having a fight with the said 'mate', but later discovered that this had been going on for months. Everybody knew, but none of his mates had the bottle to speak up.

After a dilemma with myself, I took him to one side a few days later and told him what I knew. Turns out he wasn't so pissed after all and heard everything that transpired downstairs.

He and the wife eventually sorted everything out, but his main bugbear is that none of his mates told him what was going on.

We have been the best of friends ever since this, and he respects me for standing up for him, when his 'mates' were laughing behind his back.

OP's question is definitely a double edged sword, and I was scared at the time, but I summoned the courage to tell him by thinking to myself, what would I want my friends to do if I were in the same position.

I think any man that I have spoken to since this would have less respect for those that keep silent, than those who are strong enough to raise their head above the parapet.

[Mobi]

You could always find some way of bringing the wife's misdeeds to your friend's attention without being directly involved.

The main thing is that he is made aware of what is going on - and if you can keep yourself out of the firing line, so much the better.

[toptuan]

You could always find some way of bringing the wife's misdeeds to your friend's attention without being directly involved.

The main thing is that he is made aware of what is going on - and if you can keep yourself out of the firing line, so much the better.

Great suggestion, but...can we help the OP with some concrete ideas?

• an anonymous note?
  
• video-tape the comings and goings of the jigolos, and drop the tape on his doorstep?
  
• do something social with him when you know the jigolos are afoot, and then bring him home unexpectedly?
  
• post it on one of his favorite forums?
  
• hire a sky-writer? "Dude! Go home! Now!"
  

[pattyboy]

"Don't shoot me! I'm only the messenger." is a quote we all know well FOR A REASON. Experience has shown most of us that the person receiving news of this type will often hold a grudge against the person who delivers it, even though his or her intentions are obviously good. I think your best bet is to drop some hints but don't just blurt it out.

[siamamerican]

If you knew that two of your friends (but not really friends) wifes were doing the dirty behind their backs would you tell them??

I am now faced with this problem and don't know what to do!! On the one side it's nothing to do with me so don't get involued BUT on the other side their wives are complete sluts!!

Please give me some help here

You state that they aren't really friends. That being the case, you have no idea if your not really friends sleep around also. Stay out of it and worry about your real friends.

[blizzard]

r they ex bargirls? if they r then the guys prolly already know.

[lazeeboy]

dont get involved ,she will get caught sooner or later ,maybe the man knows and its his way of getting his rocks off,the only one who comes out looking bad is you at the end of the day.

[meemiathai]

their wives are complete sluts!!

steady on old chap !! bit strong dont you think .

Bringing other men back to his house while he was away!! using their bed and bedroom!! Ok, maybe slut was to strong so i would now use the word slapper to describe them.

Were you on the bed too? How would you know?

[britmaveric]

r they ex bargirls? if they r then the guys prolly already know.

Hmmmm and if they aren't ex-bargirls that makes them prone not to cheat??

[Etrigan]

In an age of rampant HIV transmission, with the probability of husband to wife unprotected sex, wouldn't it be a case of saving your friend's life?

[sweetchariot]

In an age of rampant HIV transmission, with the probability of husband to wife unprotected sex, wouldn't it be a case of saving your friend's life?

Sorry, did you used to work for the UK government's health department in the 80's.

Grow up man, off topic and irrelevant.

[mikethevigoman]

If you knew that two of your friends (but not really friends) wifes were doing the dirty behind their backs would you tell them??

I am now faced with this problem and don't know what to do!! On the one side it's nothing to do with me so don't get involued BUT on the other side their wives are complete sluts!!

Please give me some help here

if you dont care if you see either of them again tell them, because the chances of them thanking you and you becoming better friends are pretty remote,. Edited January 21, 2008 by mikethevigoman

[garro]

I think a major factor in the whole thing is the 'loss of face' aspect, which can also be important for westerners.

Receiving the news from a friend might make him feel like he has become a 'laughing stock' and that everyone knows.

But as already mentioned, he might hate you for knowing and not telling him.

Many partners cheat, it is unfortunate fact of life around the world, but it only really comes a problem if they're caught.

Is your friend's wife likely to get caught?

Manbe she will change her cheating ways eventually.

Are they otherwise happy?

If you are convinced that this is not the case then you have a tough decision to make.

The idea of an anonymous tip-off might be a good.

I would think very carefully before doing anything.

A potentially dangerous move would be to confront the wife.

The effectiveness of this move would depend on your situation and where you live.

A local who hates you can make life difficult in Thailand.

[Ozziepaul]

I agree with the others.

Maybe canvas this guys own ideas about the situation by sitting down with him at an approriate time and telling him that you know of a guy whose missus is doing the humpty dumpty behind his back and you're not sure what to do....ie...what would he do?...how would he feel etc.

Then, totally depending on circumstances, responses, the status of your relationship, personal safety and strength of your morals, gather some 'intel' as suggested by others and get it to him anonymously.

The problem here though, is that he may connect the dots back to you re: your previous discussions. SO some time may be needed between the questioning and the delivery.

I know if a mate came to me and told me, I'd be shocked and then I'd do my own intel gathering. If it checked out then I'd hammer the slag. Not as in physically, but verbally and financially.

Then I'd take my mate out for a beer and 'try' and start again.

Having previously caught my Aussie missus in bed with another guy and ONLY after 'I' joined the dots and did my own snooping, my tolerance threshold for such things may vary from others.

Faced with a similar situation I would maybe even entertain the idea of bringing a chick back home and making sure I was caught banging her stupid. If the so called 'missus' went ape shit, I'd throw her the pics/videos etc and just say Som-nam-nah beatch...now P###OFF!!!!.

Buggard if I know...good luck anyway.

Big Paulee.

[Etrigan]

Sorry, did you used to work for the UK government's health department in the 80's.

Grow up man, off topic and irrelevant.

Maybe I did!

UNAIDS report identified Thailand's highest risk group: housewives.

So Mr Sweet "grown up, on-topic and relevant" Chariot, how did they contract it?

Maybe you should only reply to OP's from now on.

[snowflake]

Blackmail the girls to get them in bed, then you get some fun and you have die hard eveidence that they were cheating...

We all know that you would never do anything bad so just tell me who it is and I will sort it out for you...

TELL THEM, they will probably not realize that you are doing them a favour but you are. I would hate the living guts out of you if you knew my GF was cheating on me and you did not tell me... And I am just a passing by person (aquaintance to lazy to check that spelling).

[a2396]

In an age of rampant HIV transmission, with the probability of husband to wife unprotected sex, wouldn't it be a case of saving your friend's life?

Sorry, did you used to work for the UK government's health department in the 80's.

Grow up man, off topic and irrelevant.

Off topic and irrelevant?? Is that so? I guess you most know HIV transmission is no longer a problem.

[GuestHouse]

It's my observation that a very large percentage of foreign men married to Thai women and living in Thailand are cheating on their wives - I'd like to be able to stay present company excepted, but I doubt that to be true.

Men and women cheat - Would you blag a friend to his wife if you knew he was playing away from home (with all the risk of aids, unwanted pregnancy etc etc that is being laid at the feet of women)?

I know of cases of Thai women cheating on their husbands, both in Thailand and outside of Thailand - But I know of a LOT MORE foreign men cheating on their Thai wives.

[sweetchariot]

Sorry, did you used to work for the UK government's health department in the 80's.

Grow up man, off topic and irrelevant.

Maybe I did!

UNAIDS report identified Thailand's highest risk group: housewives.

So Mr Sweet "grown up, on-topic and relevant" Chariot, how did they contract it?

Maybe you should only reply to OP's from now on.

Source please.

There is a thread running about an HIV man working in the food industry, I suggest you read it and gather some facts before coming here and slagging me.

Maybe if you don't make stupid comments you won't get stupid replies. QED

[a2396]

Hopefully this guy has some knowledge of the Thai/Farang marriage "culture" here and should be aware that this type of behavior is not far out of range. If you are concerned about him you can get some idea of his mindset about this by talking to him in generalities. If he thinks his wife is above such activity, then I wouldn't get any more descriptive about his wife's anitcs. He should have some sensitivity to weather she is trustworty or not.

[Etrigan]

Source please.

There is a thread running about an HIV man working in the food industry, I suggest you read it and gather some facts before coming here and slagging me.

Maybe if you don't make stupid comments you won't get stupid replies. QED

1. I didn't "slag" you so stop over reacting.

2. There is nothing stupid in my post, however the same is not true of yours.

3. There is a wealth of factual information at www.unaids.org - enjoy!

4. I won't read the other thread as I know well that HIV isn't transmitted via the food chain. In fact, why did you even bring up that point?

5. To reiterate, maybe you should only reply to OP's from now on.

6. As you live in Pattaya, it may be in your best interests to educate yourself about HIV.

7. You are the one trying to make an issue here. Continue if you wish and I will happily add you to my ignore list.

NB - Oppps, nearly forgot! Here you go Mr Sweet QED Chariot: "According to the Asian Epidemic Model, the estimated rate of HIV infection in Thailand continues to decrease. However, serosurveillance reports of HIV infection rates indicate increasing levels of infection in groups presumed not to have significant risk behaviour (such as female spouses)"

Taken from the aforementioned website.

Edited January 21, 2008 by Etrigan

[Jockstar]

Source please.

There is a thread running about an HIV man working in the food industry, I suggest you read it and gather some facts before coming here and slagging me.

Maybe if you don't make stupid comments you won't get stupid replies. QED

1. I didn't "slag" you so stop over reacting.

2. There is nothing stupid in my post, however the same is not true of yours.

3. There is a wealth of factual information at www.unaids.org - enjoy!

4. I won't read the other thread as I know well that HIV isn't transmitted via the food chain. In fact, why did you even bring up that point?

5. To reiterate, maybe you should only reply to OP's from now on.

6. As you live in Pattaya, it may be in your best interests to educate yourself about HIV.

7. You are the one trying to make an issue here. Continue if you wish and I will happily add you to my ignore list.

Now now lads. Calm down.

[sweetchariot]

Source please.

There is a thread running about an HIV man working in the food industry, I suggest you read it and gather some facts before coming here and slagging me.

Maybe if you don't make stupid comments you won't get stupid replies. QED

1. I didn't "slag" you so stop over reacting.

2. There is nothing stupid in my post, however the same is not true of yours.

3. There is a wealth of factual information at www.unaids.org - enjoy!

4. I won't read the other thread as I know well that HIV isn't transmitted via the food chain. In fact, why did you even bring up that point?

5. To reiterate, maybe you should only reply to OP's from now on.

6. As you live in Pattaya, it may be in your best interests to educate yourself about HIV.

7. You are the one trying to make an issue here. Continue if you wish and I will happily add you to my ignore list.

I thought you were on mine, I will have to try again.

I brought up the other thread as there was alot of factual info, off topic, that would probably be quite enlightening for you.

BTW not all of us who live here are whoremongerers, I used to have more casual sex in a weekend in England than I have here in 2 years. Maybe we should be educating the English? Oh no you did that with your silly scare tactics in the 80's

[VTR1000]

If you knew that two of your friends (but not really friends) wifes were doing the dirty behind their backs would you tell them??

I am now faced with this problem and don't know what to do!! On the one side it's nothing to do with me so don't get involued BUT on the other side their wives are complete sluts!!

Please give me some help here

If it's true, I'd certainly tell them but you would have to be 101% in your allegations. Do you have any kind of proof?

I'd certainly want to be told if my wife was doing the dirty, what if it was yours? Would you want to be told?

[thaihedgehog]

I think i should take the back seat with this one and keep my mouth shut!! I also know that some of their better mates also know and won't say anything to them.

I'll use the ostrich style of dealing with problems and just stick my head in the sand