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There was war in the forest, and all animals had to enlist and join the army.

The poor bear really didn't feel like going to war, but he was obliged to. He packed his stuff, and started walking to the army office. On his way, he saw a fox coming out of the office, with its tail cut off.

"Oh my God!" the bear said "what happened to your tail?"

"You know, I really didn't want to go to war" the fox replied "so I found a way to avoid it. I cut my tail off, so I was qualified as disabled and was sent home"

The bear said goodbye to the fox, and kept on walking to the army office. He saw the donkey coming out of the office, but his ears were cut off.

"dam_n, donkey! What happened to your ears?" asked the bear

"You know, war really isn't my thing. I had to cut my ears off, so I could pass as disabled and avoid the army" the donkey said.

"I don't like the war either" said the bear " but I don't have anything distinguishing on me, like you had ears and the fox had a tail..."

They stood there for a while, thinking...

"I got it" said the donkey "why don't you cut off your balls?"

"No way! I need my balls" the bear answered.

"Look, you can either live without balls, or take your stupid balls and get killed in the war!" the donkey insisted.

The bear gave it some thought. The donkey was right. The bear found an isolated place, and cut off his balls. The pain was intolerable, but he had just avoided the horror of war.

He headed to the army office, so they could see his disability and dismiss him. He walked and saw a squirrel writing down a list of the enlisted animals.

"Hi, I am hear to sign up for the war" the bear said.

The squirrel carefully examined the bear with his stare, and replied, "Sorry, but we can't take you to war, you're dismissed"

"And why is that?" the bear ironically asked.

"You're too fat!"

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