A Diary Of A Englishman Moving To Bangkok .....

[peter991]

December 31st: Just got transferred with work into our new home in Bangkok!! Now this is a city that knows how to live!! Beautiful sunny days and warm balmy evenings. What a place! I watched the sunset from a deck chair on the veranda. It was beautiful. I've finally found my home. I love it here.

January 13th: Really heating up. Got to 35 today. Not a problem. Live in an air-conditioned home, drive an air-conditioned car. What a pleasure to see the sun everyday like this. I'm turning into a sun worshiper.

January 30th: Had the backyard landscaped with tropical plants today. Lots of palms and rocks. What a breeze to maintain. No more mowing lawn for me. Another scorcher today, but I love it here.

February 10th: The temperature hasn't been below 30 all week. How do people get used to this kind of heat? At least today it's kind of windy though. But getting used to the heat is taking longer that I expected.

February 15th: Fell asleep by the pool. Got 3rd degree burns over 60% of my body. Missed 3 days of work. What a dumb thing to do. I learned my lesson though. Got to respect the ol' sun in a climate like this.

February 20th: I missed Kitty (our cat) sneaking into the car when I left this morning. By the time I got to the hot car for lunch, had died and swollen up to the size of a shopping bag and stank up the 8,000 baht leather upholstery. I told the kids that she ran away. The car now smells like Wiskettes and cat shit. I learned my lesson though. No more pets in this heat.

February 25th: The wind sucks. It feels like a giant bloody blow dryer!! And it's hot as hel_l. The home air-conditioner is on the blink and the AC repairman charged 2000 baht just to drive over and tell me he needed to order parts.

February 28th: Been sleeping outside by the pool for 3 nights now. Bloody 3 million baht house and we can't even go inside. Why did I ever come here?

March 4th: It's 35 degrees. Finally got the ol' air-conditioner fixed today. It cost 5000 baht and gets the temperature down to 25, but this bloody humidity makes the house feel like it's about 30. Stupid repairman. I hate this stupid place.

March 8th: If another wise arse cracks, hot enough for you today? I'm going to strangle him. Bloody heat. By the time I get to work the car's radiator was boiling over, my clothes are soaking wet, and I smell like baked cat!!

March 9th: Tried to run some messages after work. Wore shorts and sat on the black leather seats in the ol' car. I thought my arse was on fire. I lost 2 layers of flesh and all the hair on the back of my legs and my arse. Now my car smells like burnt hair, fried arse, and baked cat.

March 10th: The weather report might as well be a bloody recording. Hot and sunny. Hot and sunny. Hot and sunny. It's been too hot to do anything for 2 dam_n months and the weatherman says it might really warm up next week. Doesn't it ever rain in this dam_n place? Water rationing will be next, so my 2,000 baht worth of palms just might dry up and blow into the bloody pool. Even the palms can't live in this heat.

March 14th: Welcome to hel_l!!! Temperature got to 38 today. Now the air-conditioner's gone in my car. The repairman came to fix it and said, Hot enough for you today? My wife had to spend 20,000 baht to bail my arse out of jail for assaulting the repairman. Bangkok! What kind of a sick demented idiot would want to live here?

April 1st: WHAT????? This is the first day of Summer???? You are f**king kidding…

[pault17]

Love this story!!

[suegha]

Well done peter, very clever how it slowly changed!