Aging

[A. BOOZER]

A distraught senior citizen phoned her doctor's office. "Is it true," she wanted to know, "that the medication you prescribed has to be taken for the rest of my life?" "Yes, I'm afraid so," the doctor told her. There was a moment of silence before the senior lady replied, "I'm wondering, then, just how serious is my condition because this prescription is marked 'NO REFILLS'."

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An older Jewish gentleman was on the operating table awaiting surgery and he insisted that his son, a renowned surgeon, perform the operation. As he was about to get the anesthesia he asked to speak to his son.

"Yes, Dad, what is it?" "Don't be nervous, son; do your best and just remember, if it doesn't go well, if something happens to me ..your mother is going to come and live with you and your wife...."

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Aging: Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.

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The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for

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Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me, I want people to know "why" I look this way. I've traveled a long way and some of the roads weren't paved.

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How old would you be if you didn't know how old you are?

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When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to youth, think of Algebra.

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You know you are getting old when everything either dries up or leaks.

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I don't know how I got over the hill without getting to the top.

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One of the many things no one tells you about aging is that it is such a

nice change from being young.

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Ah, being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable.

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Old age is when former classmates are so gray and wrinkled and bald, they don't recognize you.

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If you don't learn to laugh at trouble, you won't have anything to laugh at when you are old.

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First you forget names, then you forget faces. Then you forget to pull up your zipper.

It's worse when you forget to pull it down.

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Long ago when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it was called

witchcraft..

Today, it's called golf

[francois]

hi'

Long ago when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it was called

witchcraft..

Today, it's called golf

loved this one LOL

cheers

francois

[kayo]

I believe it was Douglas Adams (HHGTTG) who wrote something along these lines... (slightly improvised due to lack of memory)

A long time ago in Scotland some old Clansmen were fiddling about with some sticks and a little round thing they called a ball. It was slightly large and they would put it on a tea cup and hit it as hard as they could, to see how far it would go. This not only provided them with some form of recreation, but also got them away from their nagging wives at home.

The McEwans and McGregors and mots of other Mc`s enjoyed doing this very much and were spending more and more time playing this game, when their wives started becoming suspicious.

One day the wives followed their husbands of up a hill (not to the top!) and breathed a collective sigh of relief when they saw their men playing a game with eachother and not doing lots of naughty things with other (thai...) girls.

The women start chatting and decided to go and join their beloved Husbands.

McEwan nudged McGregor and said, "Oh no, the lasses `ave found us!" as McGregor`s wife approached.

McGregor, not taking any funny business from his wife, turned to her as she asked, "Hello my bonnie prince charming, what is this game you are playing"

A name they had not yet invented, so McGregor comes up with one.

"It`s called GOLF, luv. Gentlemen Only, Ladies <deleted>@# Off!"