stroll Posted October 7, 2004 Share Posted October 7, 2004 My Thai lady is expecting an inheritance soon, so wants to reclaim her maidenname because otherwise her husband could claim 50% of it. This was the occasion I learned she has been legally married for the lat 10 years. I feel rather dumb not to have known this while having lived with her for 6 years, but I am glad to say I accurately guessed the explanation why she hadn't told me before. -It is my fault she is still married because I never proposed to her. And she hadn't told me, because there is "no ploblem", so why should she have? I have lived here long enough now to realize that it is usually these "no problem" areas which are, erh, well, -problematic. Although I knew about the guy, I hadn't realised they made it as far as the registry office. But they have been seperated for 8 years now, so getting a divorce is not a problem. She tried to trace him and get his signature, but it looks like this is not going to happen. Again no problem, we have a lawyer who can push it through without him. But I have learned, that her husband would have a claim for financial compensation against me, because I 'took his wife'. This is not a joke, it is Thai law, apparently. I am (slightly) worried that the hubby may find out about the 'rich Falang'. My partner left our tel.no. with the guy's family, but as far as they are concerned, she is working in my household as a maid. Has anybody been in a similar situation? Is this harmless or could I be heading for major trouble with an irrational ex? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mango Posted October 7, 2004 Share Posted October 7, 2004 Stroll, i can understand totally why you are so concerned, i fear that by asking for advice here you will get alot of misinformed information and general bull sh1t, if i were you i would consult with more than one legal rep (lawyer) and then take it from there, im sure you will agree this is not an expensive thing to do and could save you alot of money and much anguish in the long run. I hope everything works out for the better and good luck with this. keep me informed. regards Mango. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SK1972 Posted October 7, 2004 Share Posted October 7, 2004 It is my fault she is still married because I never proposed to her. And she hadn't told me, because there is "no ploblem", so why should she have? It is YOUR fault??? Stroll, whatever happened to honesty?? I think that should exist in any relationship............I dont think you proposing has anything to do with her being married. A honest woman would have told you. You should stop making excuses for her. I do hope it works out well for you and good luck! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stroll Posted October 7, 2004 Author Share Posted October 7, 2004 I mentioned it being 'my fault' tongue in cheek! I was rather pissed she hadn't told me before, too. But I have learned not to judge such 'dishonesty' too harshly. It was not the intend to deceive me, merely to avoid a potentially embarrassing subject. TiT. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IamMaiC Posted October 7, 2004 Share Posted October 7, 2004 It is my fault she is still married because I never proposed to her. And she hadn't told me, because there is "no ploblem", so why should she have? It is YOUR fault??? Stroll, whatever happened to honesty?? I think that should exist in any relationship............I dont think you proposing has anything to do with her being married. A honest woman would have told you. You should stop making excuses for her. I do hope it works out well for you and good luck! Maybe she didn't say because it would upset stroll very much and she probably liked him very much at the beginning of their relationship and didn't want to ruin it So No problem in her eyes But i do agree with you SK honesty is the best policy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mango Posted October 7, 2004 Share Posted October 7, 2004 It is YOUR fault??? Stroll, whatever happened to honesty?? I think that should exist in any relationship............I dont think you proposing has anything to do with her being married. A honest woman would have told you. You should stop making excuses for her. More useless postings from the site trogladite i see. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SK1972 Posted October 7, 2004 Share Posted October 7, 2004 well, mango if you dislike honesty......thats your problem, not ours. It is hilarious how the person I was directing the post to doesnt mind so much but some overly-sensitive men do.......... Stroll ....if you are all right with it.....go for it and good luck . IamMaic....true!!! HONESTY IS THE BEST POLICY . Lies always materialises in the end....and causes hurt, friction and doubts. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mango Posted October 7, 2004 Share Posted October 7, 2004 I wont comment further because i think this is a serious matter for stroll and i dont want to spoil his thread. Cheers Mango Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wolf5370 Posted October 7, 2004 Share Posted October 7, 2004 Stroll, If she gets the divorce now. Then marries you (while working for you as a maid ) this can hardly be construed as you stealing her. After all she can site the extended separation as the reason for the divorce. Marrying a divorcee employee doesn't make you a wife-thief. PS: Was she legally married? Check her ID card! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Totster Posted October 7, 2004 Share Posted October 7, 2004 I feel rather dumb not to have known this while having lived with her for 6 years, but I am glad to say I accurately guessed the explanation why she hadn't told me before. -It is my fault she is still married because I never proposed to her. And she hadn't told me, because there is "no ploblem", so why should she have? Thai logic...!! totster Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kenk3z Posted October 7, 2004 Share Posted October 7, 2004 I certainly ask plenty of questions because I've heard and read all the stories about things that come up (later). Also, I have learned that if you ask a question and get no reply and a stone face, it does not mean that she doesn't understand the question. Ask again later. Many folks do not like to lie, but will choose not to say anything if it could cause an issue to have to be discussed. How do you check the Thai ID card for single/married status? I presume its the prefix before the name, but I don't know the difference. Can you post the appropriate Thai letters and differences between married and single? kenk3z Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lingling Posted October 7, 2004 Share Posted October 7, 2004 How do you check the Thai ID card for single/married status? I presume its the prefix before the name, but I don't know the difference. Can you post the appropriate Thai letters and differences between married and single? นาง before the name - married... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stroll Posted October 7, 2004 Author Share Posted October 7, 2004 Didn't check the ID card, she told me she is legally married, she wants to get her former surname back. I was made to understand that once the divorce is official the ex won't have any comeback at her nor me, but before then (next 2months appro) he could claim half of her property (she hasn't got anything to speak of in her name) and, as I said, there is legislation which recognises damages to a husband if another guy gets into a relationship with his wife. They had been seperated for 2 years when we met. I am not overly concerned, if he did find out and could be bothered, he'd have to proof his claim, it is just one of these things which could turn ugly with some irrate plonker turning up at my door and making life difficult. I'll find out more about the legal aspect next week, I thought this might be of general interest. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kenk3z Posted October 7, 2004 Share Posted October 7, 2004 What I see before the name is น.ส. as close as I can tell from the runny print on the ID card. kenk3z Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lingling Posted October 7, 2004 Share Posted October 7, 2004 What I see before the name isน.ส. as close as I can tell from the runny print on the ID card. kenk3z Abbreviation for nong sao, means that the holder was not formally married (and has not previously been) when that ID card was issued. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thetyim Posted October 8, 2004 Share Posted October 8, 2004 Didn't check the ID card, she told me she is legally married, she wants to get her former surname back. I was made to understand that once the divorce is official the ex won't have any comeback at her nor me, but before then (next 2months appro) he could claim half of her property (she hasn't got anything to speak of in her name) and, as I said, there is legislation which recognises damages to a husband if another guy gets into a relationship with his wife. They had been seperated for 2 years when we met. I am not overly concerned, if he did find out and could be bothered, he'd have to proof his claim, it is just one of these things which could turn ugly with some irrate plonker turning up at my door and making life difficult. I'll find out more about the legal aspect next week, I thought this might be of general interest. Your fears are justified. I have been in a similar situation. Get legal advice. She has grounds for divorce if he has not supported her . I do not think you will get a divorce within two months. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
somtaamgaiyang Posted October 8, 2004 Share Posted October 8, 2004 Once had a girlfriend who was legally married to a thai and a foreigner at the same time. For some reason she didn't seem to think it relevant enough to tell me. Honesty was, is and will always be pretty important to the longevity of any relationship. Obviously I ran a mile. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stroll Posted January 18, 2005 Author Share Posted January 18, 2005 Update: Divorce completed. Cost: B3000 for lawyer, B350 for new ID-card and driving license. We had quotes of B3.000 - B20.000, and settled for the friendly non-English speaking guy near the court in my gf's hometown. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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