How Much Do You Pay Your Thai Fiance's Mom?

[jstumbo]

Anyone else predict this marriage will last 25 months?

3 months to get wed, 12-18 month to get a green card.

So my prediction is no less than 15-21 months...

Two years on the conditional greencard. So it would have to be after that. Probably more like 30+ months

[Heng]

Another business idea could be to host a website that list all the names of Thai women ripping of the Farang. A modest payment to Farang's that participate by providing con artists names and a larger fee for Farang that would like to do a background check..............

If this is as big as folks say, it could be a winner.

I'll start: Ked from Chiang Mai (this was from 2001-2002) and Fai from Ubon (2002 for about 3 months). Not exactly con artists but they definitely were talented at getting me to shut off my brain and spend money (not a lot but could probably pay for my kid to go to college a few times over).

[distortedlink]

Here is the story of what happened to my best friend, Michael. You may have seen this on other threads:

Back in 1999, my best friend, Michael, of over 20 years was introduced to a Thai lady at an engagement party in Norwich England. He was 51 she was 28. He fell in love with her immediately and over a 2 year period, the girl and her family in Keonkaen extorted over £80000 from my friend. After that the girl told him that she had a terminal disease and could not marry him, but offered her sister instead. Michael married the sister in 2001. It later transpired that the Thai girl he met in England already had an English husband in Norwich and is alive and well today.

In 2006 my friend caught his wife having an affair in Norwich. The shock was too much for him; he began walking back to his car and dropped dead in the rain into a gutter from a heart attack. He was 58.

In the end, that Thai family got £80000 of my friend's savings, his property in Buckinghamshire worth £400000 and finally even his soul. Our mutual friends and I warned Michael about this Thai group. Michael said, that if he cant find a wife, he'll buy one if necessary, but of course no one can buy true caring love. He was blind to the reality that they only wanted his money and targeted Michael because he was so desperate to get himself a wife and told them he had money and property. We fell out over this issue because Michael wouldn't listen to reason and I lost my closest friend, a soul mate of over 20 years.

Was my friend stupid, yes many will say so, but my hate for that Thai family is intense and I curse those people and the day that I took my friend to that engagement party in Norwich, England in which was the beginning of his downfall.

The OP is a sucker and I guess this is the beginning of his end.

Edited May 2, 2008 by distortedlink

[a2396]

Another business idea could be to host a website that list all the names of Thai women ripping of the Farang. A modest payment to Farang's that participate by providing con artists names and a larger fee for Farang that would like to do a background check..............

If this is as big as folks say, it could be a winner.

I'll start: Ked from Chiang Mai (this was from 2001-2002) and Fai from Ubon (2002 for about 3 months). Not exactly con artists but they definitely were talented at getting me to shut off my brain and spend money (not a lot but could probably pay for my kid to go to college a few times over).

Your kid to go to college a few times over? Not a lot of money? You mean college in Bangladesh?

[Heng]

Local. Seems this has got a couple of ya'll excited. Got a couple of emails and PM's over this post.

These weren't cash payments to these gals, more like all expenses (going out, booze, misc. party materials, leased NOT bought apartment, etc.) associated with "keeping" them.

[dominator]

Why should I pay her anything?

What's she ever done for me?

Is she a mamsam?

[jayjayjayjay]

Another business idea could be to host a website that list all the names of Thai women ripping of the Farang. A modest payment to Farang's that participate by providing con artists names and a larger fee for Farang that would like to do a background check..............

If this is as big as folks say, it could be a winner.

I'll start: Ked from Chiang Mai (this was from 2001-2002) and Fai from Ubon (2002 for about 3 months). Not exactly con artists but they definitely were talented at getting me to shut off my brain and spend money (not a lot but could probably pay for my kid to go to college a few times over).

Heng, ahhh, yess, looks like we have trodden similar ground. Ked from Chiangmai, beautiful white skin, pure heart, but what a story she could tell, just after the gravy stroke she was sweet as hel_l, another 10k here, another 10k there!!!! , and dear Fai, coffee brown from Udon, with a body as hard as granite, could go all night until the check book came out, oh the memories. Looks like we both got done-over at the same time.... 5555555

[koheesti]

Reading this thread you'd think that Thai girls are just after a guy's money. Well, here's an exchange I had yesterday with a 20-something Thai guy:

HIM: You have Thai girlfriend?

ME: No.

HIM: Why not?

ME: Well, uh, (trying to think of a nice way to put it)

HIM: [laughing] Oh, because Thai girl only wants money!

ME: [laughing] Well, yeah.

HIM: Only 80% are like that. Look where they live. If they are poor, all they want is money. If they come from Issan they only want money. Girls from Bangkok are better. If they have [university degree] and their own place they are good.

ME: I read that Thai girls with degrees and their own place don't want farang men? (I read here on Thaivisa)

HIM: [laughing] Ohhhh! You know Thai people! [more laughing]

After that conversation, this thread (and others), experiences of friends and my own observations, I'm glad I didn't come here looking for a wife.

[Heng]

Another business idea could be to host a website that list all the names of Thai women ripping of the Farang. A modest payment to Farang's that participate by providing con artists names and a larger fee for Farang that would like to do a background check..............

If this is as big as folks say, it could be a winner.

I'll start: Ked from Chiang Mai (this was from 2001-2002) and Fai from Ubon (2002 for about 3 months). Not exactly con artists but they definitely were talented at getting me to shut off my brain and spend money (not a lot but could probably pay for my kid to go to college a few times over).

Heng, ahhh, yess, looks like we have trodden similar ground. Ked from Chiangmai, beautiful white skin, pure heart, but what a story she could tell, just after the gravy stroke she was sweet as hel_l, another 10k here, another 10k there!!!! , and dear Fai, coffee brown from Udon, with a body as hard as granite, could go all night until the check book came out, oh the memories. Looks like we both got done-over at the same time.... 5555555

Spot on, except for the coffee brown part. More like a copper Spring Break like tan more common to Lake Havasu or Cancun.

[jayjayjayjay]

Another business idea could be to host a website that list all the names of Thai women ripping of the Farang. A modest payment to Farang's that participate by providing con artists names and a larger fee for Farang that would like to do a background check..............

If this is as big as folks say, it could be a winner.

I'll start: Ked from Chiang Mai (this was from 2001-2002) and Fai from Ubon (2002 for about 3 months). Not exactly con artists but they definitely were talented at getting me to shut off my brain and spend money (not a lot but could probably pay for my kid to go to college a few times over).

Heng, ahhh, yess, looks like we have trodden similar ground. Ked from Chiangmai, beautiful white skin, pure heart, but what a story she could tell, just after the gravy stroke she was sweet as hel_l, another 10k here, another 10k there!!!! , and dear Fai, coffee brown from Udon, with a body as hard as granite, could go all night until the check book came out, oh the memories. Looks like we both got done-over at the same time.... 5555555

Spot on, except for the coffee brown part. More like a copper Spring Break like tan more common to Lake Havasu or Cancun.

Shhhhhhhhhhh..........dont tell Thai gurls about Lake Havasu, we dont want them corrupted by young American football jocks. If they got wind all these horny good looking long nosed footy players were running around drunk trying there hardest to screw any bushpig they can find, we might have an exodus of biblical proportion from Issan......... then again, we might NOT, them young college guys aint got money! 555

[EaglesGift]

After that conversation, this thread (and others), experiences of friends and my own observations, I'm glad I didn't come here looking for a wife.

It isn't hard to find a decent girl here. From a lot of the posts here though, it looks like many people are settling for a lot less than that. The posters who reckon marrying their gfs kept them out of the bar...I am assuming that they married prostitutes then, not that they think all Thai girls have the choice of either marrying a foreigner or working in a bar?

Then there are other strange comments: 15,000 baht a month is very good money for a Thai working in Bangkok? All Thais send their parents money every month? What a load of rubbish, unless you socialize exclusively with poor, working class Thais that is. If you do then I guess you will end up with a gf who wants to send her parents money and expects a large sin sot etcetera.

Edited May 3, 2008 by EaglesGift

[t.s]

so you want to marry and take a girl who is not yet of legal drinking age back to the states.

good luck with that.

[pop_corn]

My Fiance is asking me how much I'm going to pay her mom pursuant to the dowry system they have in Thailand. Okay, I need help!!!! What is a reasonable amount to pay?

first ask "Lot noi dai mai?" ....then try this: 199 baht dai mai?

[Andrew Hicks]

My Fiance is asking me how much I'm going to pay her mom pursuant to the dowry system they have in Thailand. Okay, I need help!!!! What is a reasonable amount to pay?

What's going to happen to the money?

Mama doesn't always pocket it. Often it is returned to the daughter so that she can build a house etc. Not so bad!

It seems much better to promise to look after Mama rather than dump a lump of dosh into her own pocket which she will probably never be able to manage properly. What she needs is security.

Read Stickmanbangkok on sinsot.

[dr_Pat_Pong]

Okay, I'm the OP......

Yes, I am giving this young lady $500 a month to help her and her parents. But let's look at like this way....I have dated women here in the US (Accountants, Doctors, normal every-day women, etc.). One thing I can say for certain. Women in the US (perhaps particularly in Los Angeles) have expectations that are considerably higher than this young Thai lady (at least for now) and have cost me in real dollar terms an enormous amount of money.

This young Thai lady is very nice and treats me well. So does her family. Blinded or not, after 42 years on this planet, American women aren't my first choice for marriage and kids. $500 a month to this Thai young lady is nothing in comparison. Everyone one of us guys out there is paying money to women in one form or another. If you're not, she won't be around long……

There are certainly differences in culture. You either accept them or you don't. If you plan on marrying someone from onother culture then expect to learn different ways of livng.

The two sentences I have highlighted are fundamental to understanding what's wrong here. What you would spend in the US on dating a doctor, accountant etc with US salaries bears absolutely no relation to their professional equivalents here in Thailand - not even in Bangkok let alone in the rural provinces........ let alone an "ordinary" family in the rural provinces. You are comparing the cost to yourself as the giver - completely missing the key point that the main comparison needs to be about the impact on the recipients. It's easy to do and many have made the same mistake - including me albeit on a much smaller and shorter-term scale. I learned from it - you need to do the same.

"This Thai young lady" and maybe even all her family and all the family's neighbours could be the salt of the earth, have hearts of gold etc - but you have sown so many seeds of temptation by parachuting in such disproportionate amounts of money on a monthly basis and at such an early stage of the liaison. Would it be so surprising that someone in that family/village now wants to explore what your limits are? Couple that with a (far from universal) Thai tradition of expecting the suitor to show the measure of his status and commitment by the value of his "giving" and it seems clear that you have now unleashed a volatile mix that makes it all but impossible for you to know where you really are in this relationship.

The second sentence highlighted suggests that you now think you are taking good account of the radical differences in cultures. Sorry to be so harsh, but the $500 per month payment and your continuing defence of it makes it very clear that you are nowhere near understanding even the basics of those differences. $500 per month is not "helping a bit" - it's swamping them with surplus cash. As the cliche goes............. "A little knowledge is a dangerous thing".

Others have talked about the payment "for" this girl in the same terms as for negotiating to buy a used car. That is also wrong - but you should not let your recoil from that kind of attitude blind you to the importance of the first point above. You brought yourself, your thinking and your money into Thailand and into this situation - you have the responsibility to think on their behalf as well as your own. So far, IMO, you're still only doing the second part.

The die is cast. Sad really.

[Nysan]

To compare what he give the rural thai mom and then think it is cheap because the girls in US cost more have no corelation at all. Just because your Ferrari in the states had a high mpg does not tmean that you should tip the staff a the gas station in Pinklao top buck and saying "Hey, the Corolla I have now is low on mpg, so I give the difference as tip...". When you drive a Corolla, keep the Corolla budget...

OP

Do you send your family back home 500 bucks as well?

If you send money every months on regular basis, what will happen the day you stop?

Now I am going to get my fingers smacked big time but I say it anyway:

By marrying her you show you love her, take care and provide for her and she get a US greencard as well. A thai elitecard is about 1,5 mil Baht. The greencard gives you the right to work... I reckon you can calculate that as at least 5 million Baht at least hence NO sin sod.

No, I am not american.

Edited May 4, 2008 by Nysan

[way2muchcoffee]

I have been with my wife now for 6 years. One year ago we were legally married. On the 1st of May this year, our one year anniversary, we did the village wedding ceremony. We just got back to BKK yesterday. My wife hails from Surin and her family is on the poor end of the already poor Isaan region.

In total, including the wedding clothes for both of us, gas, rentals, hotel, and other expenses the wedding ran about 120,000 bt and lasted two and a half days, with the official ceremony being on the last one. Two pigs, 30 cases of beer, 5 cases of white whiskey, 50 kg or rice, a truckload of vegetables, sauces, oil, gifts for my brother and my two friends who came up, and various other items.

As far as sin sod is concerned we put 40,000 bt on the plate, of which 35,000 was returned to us. My wife's mother is not alive so the sin sod went to the grandmother. We topped up her 5,000 bt with most of the money given by the guests. The grandmother netted around 15,000 bt, more or less. We also put on the plate the various gold jewelry we have purchased over the years - 3 baht. My mother left me two diamond rings set in white gold when she passed on, total value of around 600k bt, so we put those on the plate as well.

Everyone gained big face. Everyone enjoyed the wedding. My wife was/is very pleased. I wanted this to be a memorable day for her especially, and that was a resounding success.

As far as financial assistance goes, we help out what we can when we can, but don't send a fixed amount up every month. My wife has a brother and sister, aunts, uncles, cousins, etc, and from time to time they need help when the inevitable emergency arises. 1000 here, 1000 there, whatever. It seldom ends up being more than 2,500 per month and some months it is nothing. Sometimes we make small loans to family members - sometimes it is even paid back! Other times not. I canceled about 10,000 bt in loans outstanding from various family members during the wedding. Once a year or so, we pitch in maybe 5,000 or 10,000 for big ticket items, family funeral. roof caved in, wall in the house sank in the mud and cracked, new water pump, etc. I would estimate that my annual contribution to her family is around 50,000 bt, more or less. This is about two thirds of one month of my teacher salary. Her family are working poor. They work 6-day weeks and earn only 6,000 bt per month which is just barely enough to live on. They are all itinerant construction workers. Sometimes there are gaps between when one job finishes and the next begins. Sometimes the bosses don't pay properly. Of course they all drink, but that is the culture. I have visited, stayed, and slept in the construction camps many times, and I can definitely say that they aren't living with any kind of extravagance - quite the opposite. They eke out their simple and harsh existence one day at a time.

I am happy with the arrangement. My wife is good at keeping the assistance at a moderate level. Over the years we have learned to tell the real emergencies from the fake ones. My wife has learned to distinguish between appropriate assistance and when people are trying to take the piss. She is the filter, and the request only comes to me if it is legitimate. Sometimes it isn't convenient financially and we have to say no. It has taken years to find this balance, but this is where we are, and it works.

Edited May 4, 2008 by way2muchcoffee

[Dobro]

If she asks you such a question, then your obviously getting married to the wrong girl.

The dowry system doesn't apply to marrying foreigners in this day and age and never did even when I married my first Thai wife in 1987.

Such stuff is just nonsense..........

[Chinesegirl]

it depends on the boy's side...If he is rich ..he can pay more..if he is poor..then pay less...

I know there is a traditional way for marriage..In china..Normally the boy pay starting like 10,000Rmb up to 30.000Rmb..if you are a very rich guy..then you can pay more...and the girl's parents will use these amount to buy the furniture staff for the new couple..like TV..washing machine...bed..etc..the big things...after paying these..the girl's parents still left some balance for their own...

This is a little bit traditional way...My mean you can break the rules..it's no big deal..just depends on which situation it is..and you can ask the opinion from your gf...She can discussed this with her parents then get back to you...

[Schooner]

After 11 pages of this it's obvious that this topic brings out peoples passions. Love it or hate it Thailand brings out peoples passions and isn't that really what this is all about?

The OP's question was what is a reasonable amount to pay and frankly it was a question that I struggled with in the early stage of my relationship. In my case my future wife was a virgin and and so I thought it particularly important to get as many issues resolved as possible before moving "forward".

My wife was raised to be a honest, responsible, hardworking young woman by her grandparents who are rice farmers but who instilled in her a set of values that will hold up anywhere in the world. I support her grandparents with 3000 baht per month. Instead of Sin Sot I built a new house with the help of her family for about 300,000. Her aunts live all around her in the same block so they all help out. In the two years we've been together we have paid out another 5,000 or so for medical stuff and farming expenses.

My wife is 23 and I am 55. She was #3 in her high school graduating class, Number 2 in her University class and in every instance shown a willingness to work hard and contribute. She is now attending a community college in Florida. She show's enough promise that I think she should go for it and yes I am paying for it. To be fair it is a hel_l of a lot less than I paid for my own two children to attend college and flunk out. The reason that I am happy doing this is I too come from a poor background and some folks helped me along the way and so this is just pay back. I wouldn't do it if she did not show such promise. The day after she received her green card she went to work as a housekeeper in a hotel. Within a month they wanted to make her manager.

The OP has acknowledged that he would do things differently if he was starting over which brings me to my point.

Living with MY Thai wife is a constant negotiation. That is no surprise to me because I believe that LIFE is a constant negotiation. I am happy that this is so because frankly if it were not life would be too predictable and boring.

When I think of all the things that I have spent big money on in my life to get some excitement or pleasure this has to be the best bang for the buck. If it turns out that a hardworking and fun young woman gets off to a better start so much the better. The joy that she has brought to me and the pleasure of knowing her everyday is worth it all.

I want to say something about the age difference. Study ofter study has shown that women are most attracted to strength of character and humor. My wife constantly reminds me that she is happy with the trade off between my old reliability and her friend's young handsome cheating boyfriends and husbands. True, my odds are not good for the long term, but given my record she has more to worry about than me.

To answer the question of money to the rest of the family here is how I handle it. My wife's mom had a gambling debt of 50,000. My wife was helping her pay the interest from her pay at an electronics factory. If I wanted my wife to quit working I had to take over that payment. What I choose to do was pay it off and make it a loan. I told her mom that her line of credit was 50,000 and when she paid that back interest free than it would always be there. Needless to say she will never pay it off. Same for the rest of the relatives. I loaned 1000 baht to her brother, when he pays that back I might consider loaning him some more.

Finally I want to say something to all you guys out there that brag about not paying anything. I think you have some self image issues if you believe that the value or the security of a relationship can be measured by what you pay or don't pay. I know a couple of your types and judging from the looks, waistlines and attitudes of their wives I'm not surprised that you don't want to pay. If you can afford it than why not pay a reasonable amount to help.

What is interesting here is the range of opinions regarding what one should pay and why. What I don't get though is why do some of you care so much about what the OP does.

When one of you figure out a way to guarantee a particular outcome from any human relationship let me know

[jfchandler]

Nice post... nice story.... Congratulations on finding a good lady who is good for your life...

[EaglesGift]

Finally I want to say something to all you guys out there that brag about not paying anything.

I don't pay anything but I certainly don't brag about it. I just consider it a normal relationship between two adults - there is no reason I would expect to support her parents. What I find abnormal is a western man in his fifties marrying a 21 year old Thai girl from a rice farming village. I wonder what the attraction was.

[jfchandler]

Gee.... I can think of a few things... at least!!!!

Not to mention, free khao suay from back home...in these times of rising rice prices....

[james24]

55 and shes 22?? Why do you think she makes you happy?? Sorry nate but your part about it being cheaper than paying for your own kids to flunk out maybe true but shes not your kid, shes your girlfriend. As for the part about self image youre the one with a girl half your age. i. Sorry mate but these Thai birds are just taking the piss out of every white face and somehow including myself for a while, believe the quite unbelievable because we cannot quite comprehend the callousness of some of their actions. I do thnik the majority of Thai women are sound but we seem to only ever meet the ones who live in tourist places, living there to make money. If this happened in England and old bloke with a young stuuning bird back home, people would know, including others upto the same trick that they are with them for money not for love

[jayjayjayjay]

Finally I want to say something to all you guys out there that brag about not paying anything.

I don't pay anything but I certainly don't brag about it. I just consider it a normal relationship between two adults - there is no reason I would expect to support her parents. What I find abnormal is a western man in his fifties marrying a 21 year old Thai girl from a rice farming village. I wonder what the attraction was.

First of all, my guess is you aint single, livin' in the states alone and 51 plus or minus 20 years, at a guess your still in your 20's. Wait, your time will come.

As per jfchandler I can find a few reasons why....good on ya OP .....

[Schooner]

What is "normal" for you is not necessarily normal for me or anyone else. The whole point is creating a life that is interesting and fulfilling. Every relationship demands compromises if they are balanced. The amount that I contribute is small for me and generates huge good will for her. However you look at it, it is the right thing to do.

We met through her mother who cooked at a restaurant that I frequented. She was working in an electronics factory 12 hours a day 60 hours a week and living in a one room "apartment" with one of her girlfriends. She had been working for two years and been given increasing responsibility but was still only making 10,000 per month even with the overtime. From that she was supporting her grandparents. It would have been rediculess for me to not replace that support if I was asking her to come live with me.

Most people who are not married to a 23 year old think that the reason anyone would be with someone that young is for the sex but it is not the main reason for me (although it is quite nice) What attracted me to her was her sense of humor, her intelligence and the confidence she exudes. She is a huge tease and is constantly turning things upside down to create these ironic looks at things we see everyday and applying her dry wit to them. I guess it's no surprise that her favorite American sit com is Seinfeld. She has all the DVDs' and it is how she has learned to speak English so well. It is a constant challenge to keep up with her mind. It is also incredibly satisfying to turn her on to new activities and adventures and to see her grow and learn and apply her values to ideas. She is a great cook and is constantly adapting Thai recipes to other ingredients to create great tasting interesting food. She loves to grow things and pretty soon we will disappear in a thicket of herbs and flowers. Everyone who meets her loves her and respects her for the same reasons I do. There is a reason why we respect some people immediately when we meet them and it has nothing to do with age. My 87 year old mother adores her and it is truly a beautiful thing to see them working in the garden togather.

Overall I am happier being with her. It is strictly a cultural view that only people of the same age should marry and we all know what the underpinnings of that view is. If it goes against the grain of what is culturally acceptable than that is good enough reason for me to do it. Anyone that we would meet who would express an objection would identify themselves as someone we would not want to know.

We don't drink or smoke. We spend our time enjoying and sharing the benefits and beauty of life. Will it last forever? Who knows. One thing that I am certain of is that I am happier doing this than many of my ex-pat friends who seem to have found their happiness at the end of a bar stool while they espouse upon the behavior of others.

[gpdjohn]

My Fiance is asking me how much I'm going to pay her mom pursuant to the dowry system they have in Thailand. Okay, I need help!!!! What is a reasonable amount to pay?

Nothing.

You should pay around 100 USd for a good pair of running shoes and run the phuk outta there...

[canuckamuck]

Finally I want to say something to all you guys out there that brag about not paying anything. I think you have some self image issues if you believe that the value or the security of a relationship can be measured by what you pay or don't pay. I know a couple of your types and judging from the looks, waistlines and attitudes of their wives I'm not surprised that you don't want to pay. If you can afford it than why not pay a reasonable amount to help.

You're a class act all the way Schooner. So your point is: relationships based on mutual respect and not dependent on monthly compensation can only be had with ugly fat women. Nice! BTW the people who have said here they don't pay monthly have all noted that they still make a contribution to the family in a responsible manner, but they do so because they see a need or an opportunity to do something nice. Not just because they have a business arrangement.

Remember 50 year + men of average wealth have a lot of trouble hooking up with twenty year olds in developed nations. Are you sure you are not deluding yourself about why she gets into bed with you at night. Remember you are the best guy she could get, so what does that say about her?

[ChiefBEM]

My Fiance is asking me how much I'm going to pay her mom pursuant to the dowry system they have in Thailand. Okay, I need help!!!! What is a reasonable amount to pay?

jmapodaca,

Sorry, I do not have time to read all of the responses you have received and given to this posting.

But, HERE ARE SOME FACTS.

1. The Thai culture does have a dowry system.

2. When a Thai guy wants to marry a Thai girl, a dowry is offerred and the girl's parents either accept or decline the offer. In many cases, the girl's family will tell the guy what the minimum acceptable dowry would be. If the offer is declined, a cool-off period starts where the wedding is put on hold until the dawry can be negotiated and resubmitted for acceptance. It makes no difference rather the girl is a college graduate or a graduate from the school of hard knocks. Traditional Thai families need tradition to be honored.

3. The purpose of the dowry system is not to start the couple off in debt. The guy needs to offer that which he can afford while keeping in mind he will be starting a new family and have increased financial needs.

4. It is ok to offer a dowry that is split into "Now Money" and "Future Financial Committments."

5. 15,000 a month is really high for Issan.

One of my sister-in-laws is a high ranking Thai Government Employee in the Ubon Ratchatani Comptrollers Office and is retiring after 32 years in government service. Her monthly pension is 15,000 a month.

The average wages in Ubon are less than 10,000 a month.

You can rent a furnished (farang style) apartment in Ubon for less than 3,000 a month.

Up until my mother-in-law passed on last year, we sent her 12,000 a month and she was living "High on the Hog." She was getting the best of medical care and spending most of her time and my money in the Wat. She (my money) paid for all school expenses to send 2 monks to undergraduate and graduate school. The Wat really still likes me even though the money flow has almost stopped. She had her own land and home. She could have lived very well on 6,000 a month. I could afford to give her more so I did.

Several others have responded to your posting based on their knowledge & understanding of Thai culture and tradition.

I have remained close to my wife's family in Thailand (mostly Ubon) for over 38 years and we have been very active in the local Wat.

There are only 2 types of people in this world. There are good people and there are bad people.

We can believe that everyone has some good in them.

However, marriage is a big step and way too many farangs get married to Thais and then one or two years later are devorced and broke.

Regards,

ChiefBEM

[Ajarn]

My Fiance is asking me how much I'm going to pay her mom pursuant to the dowry system they have in Thailand. Okay, I need help!!!! What is a reasonable amount to pay?

What's going to happen to the money?

Mama doesn't always pocket it. Often it is returned to the daughter so that she can build a house etc. Not so bad!

It seems much better to promise to look after Mama rather than dump a lump of dosh into her own pocket which she will probably never be able to manage properly. What she needs is security.

Read Stickmanbangkok on sinsot.

Andrew, your dream is a good one, but the truth is your 'mother gives money back' is a pure dream. The likely hood of something like that happening here in Thailand, with its customs and such, is about the same as at your home country, would be my guess.

And to suggest Stickman as a good source for anything, tells a lot about you.