Stress Reliever....

[AltumAngel]

Stress Reliever

1

Wife : You always carry my photo in your handbag to the office. Why?

Hubby : When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at your

picture and the problem disappears.

Wife : You see, how miraculous and powerful I am for you?

Hubby : Yes, I see your picture and say to myself, "What other problem can

there be greater than this one?"

Stress Reliever

2

Girl: When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles

and lighten your burden.

Boy: It's very kind of you, darling, But I don't have any worries or

troubles.

Girl: Well that's because we aren't married yet.

Stress Reliever

3

Son: Mom, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me to

give up my seat to a lady.

Mom: Well, you have done the right thing.

Son: But mum, I was sitting on daddy's lap.

Stress Reliever

4

Wife to husband: "What's your excuse for coming home at this time of the

night?"

Husband to wife: "Golfing with friends, my dear."

Wife to husband: "What? At 2 am?!"

Husband to wife: "Yes, We used night clubs."

Stress Reliever

5

Father to son after exam: "let me see your report card."

Son: "My friend just borrowed it. He wants to scare his parents."

Stress Reliever

6

A teacher asked her class for sentences using the word "beans"..

"My father grows beans," said one student.

"My father cooks beans," said another.

Then little Johnny spoke up: "We are all human beans."

Stress Reliever

7

Interviewer to Millionaire: "To whom do you owe your success as a

millionaire to?"

Millionaire: "I owe everything to my wife."

Interviewer: "Wow, she must be some woman. What were you before you

married her?"

Millionaire: "A Billionaire"

Stress Reliever

8

Girl to her boyfriend: One kiss and I'll be yours forever.

The guy replies: Thanks for the warning.

Stress Reliever

9

A husband was asked: Do you talk to your wife after sex?

He replied: Depends, if I can find a phone.

Stress Reliever

10

Man to wife on wedding night: Are you sure I'm the first man you are

sleeping with?

Wife replied: Of course honey, I stayed awake with all the others!

Stress Reliever

11

Why did they stop printing PAMELA ANDERSON stamps in the U.S. ?

Answer: Because people started licking the wrong side.

Stress Reliever

12

A wife asked her husband: What do you like most in me - my pretty face

or my sexy body?

He looked at her from head to toe and replied: I like your sense of

humour.

Stress Reliever

13

Doctor to his lady patient: You look terribly weak and exhausted! Are

you having your meals three times a day as I have advised?

Lady replied: Doctor, I thought you said three males a day

[Boater]

Stress Reliever

1

Wife : You always carry my photo in your handbag to the office. Why?

Hubby : When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at your

picture and the problem disappears.

Wife : You see, how miraculous and powerful I am for you?

Hubby : Yes, I see your picture and say to myself, "What other problem can

there be greater than this one?"

Stress Reliever

2

Girl: When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles

and lighten your burden.

Boy: It's very kind of you, darling, But I don't have any worries or

troubles.

Girl: Well that's because we aren't married yet.

Stress Reliever

3

Son: Mom, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me to

give up my seat to a lady.

Mom: Well, you have done the right thing.

Son: But mum, I was sitting on daddy's lap.

Stress Reliever

4

Wife to husband: "What's your excuse for coming home at this time of the

night?"

Husband to wife: "Golfing with friends, my dear."

Wife to husband: "What? At 2 am?!"

Husband to wife: "Yes, We used night clubs."

Stress Reliever

5

Father to son after exam: "let me see your report card."

Son: "My friend just borrowed it. He wants to scare his parents."

Stress Reliever

6

A teacher asked her class for sentences using the word "beans"..

"My father grows beans," said one student.

"My father cooks beans," said another.

Then little Johnny spoke up: "We are all human beans."

Stress Reliever

7

Interviewer to Millionaire: "To whom do you owe your success as a

millionaire to?"

Millionaire: "I owe everything to my wife."

Interviewer: "Wow, she must be some woman. What were you before you

married her?"

Millionaire: "A Billionaire"

Stress Reliever

8

Girl to her boyfriend: One kiss and I'll be yours forever.

The guy replies: Thanks for the warning.

Stress Reliever

9

A husband was asked: Do you talk to your wife after sex?

He replied: Depends, if I can find a phone.

Stress Reliever

10

Man to wife on wedding night: Are you sure I'm the first man you are

sleeping with?

Wife replied: Of course honey, I stayed awake with all the others!

Stress Reliever

11

Why did they stop printing PAMELA ANDERSON stamps in the U.S. ?

Answer: Because people started licking the wrong side.

Stress Reliever

12

A wife asked her husband: What do you like most in me - my pretty face

or my sexy body?

He looked at her from head to toe and replied: I like your sense of

humour.

Stress Reliever

13

Doctor to his lady patient: You look terribly weak and exhausted! Are

you having your meals three times a day as I have advised?

Lady replied: Doctor, I thought you said three males a day

Wife : You always carry my photo in your handbag to the office. Why?

Hubby : When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at your

picture and the problem disappears.

Wife : You see, how miraculous and powerful I am for you?

Hubby : Yes, I see your picture and say to myself, "What other problem can

there be greater than this one?"