Sin Sod - Amounts Asked For -vs- Paid And Changes?

[Kf6vci]

The sin sod negotiation was kinda one sided. One million was asked for and my head turned red and I didn't say anything. Later, the mother let her daughter handle this. ** Now the original amount is asked for again. ** Since my ability to support my future wife is out of the question and there has been some financial commitment towards the family, I wonder how to interpret this situation.

The excellent pinned article indicates something untowards, but my understanding is that the money would be returned.

Any thoughts and experiences? Is some serious haggling called for?

[dee123]

...sinsod only applies to Thais and is only a custom, sinsod is hardly ever paid to "Farang" when its his time to become beneficiary of sinsod.....so if your wife and relations can't see that then I'd be worried...helping your fiancee or family is noble if you think they deserve your help,...but it should be on you and your wife's judgement what your future plans are and where you are going to live.Most couples have this sorted before thinking about marriage.Suddenly finding out an inflated amount is expected is laughable.Why not get married elsewhere then the pressure won't be put on you.The whole point of Sinsod is now outdated (min wage,Health care)so its the thai publics fault if they have fallen for consecutive goverments who have not provided for their poor......by the way, slavery has also been abolished.

Edited May 1, 2008 by dee123

[Gumballl]

When I married, I presented 200,000 baht for Sin Sod... but only for "show"... that is I gave the illusion to the guests that I was giving Sin Sod. After the wedding ceremony, I got the money back. After remaining at the in-laws house for 3 days following the wedding (some sort of tradition?), I thought it would be a good deed to give some money to the in-laws, so I gave them 100,000. The rest, I kept for myself and my wife... to enjoy our honeymoon.

You do what you want, but 1mil baht is steep, unless you are marrying a well-educated woman who will someday reap a good salary from working. Ask your fiance if this money will be kept by the in-laws, or is it for "show". Otherwise, negotiate it down. 200000 baht today is nearly $6500 USD!!!

[geriatrickid]

Wow, there is flu season and a sin sod season too I guess.

My friend Aroon needs a new motorcycle. Will you buy him one please.

What's that you say, you don't know me and why should you consider this? Dunno. Seems that it's just as legit a request as the greedy inlaws' demand.

[a2396]

Here we go again! It seems 1 million is the usual starting price, to see what they can get away with. I have heard this number "thrown about" by many women. The whole matter is "up to you" and what you think is reasonable. I don't have any use for the whole concept and don't assume you will get any returned. That's not necessarily the case. What financial commitment have you made to the family already, as you state?

[bendix]

How many bloody sinsod discussions do we need?

Is it me, or is Thaivisa dieing and agonisingly slow death?

[kingwilly]

How many bloody sinsod discussions do we need?

Obviously at least one more.

A mate of mine just paid 600K recently. (to a bargirl with a kid)

suckas born every minute.

[ozzydom]

How many bloody sinsod discussions do we need?

Is it me, or is Thaivisa dieing and agonisingly slow death?

No bendix,TV is going from strength to strength , but I personally agree with you re sinsod discussions.

There is enough in the archives to satisfy the most ardent "sinsod chaser" .

[burman]

Wow, there is flu season and a sin sod season too I guess.

The sin sod high season usually starts a few months after the tourist high season has ended.

Edited May 2, 2008 by burman

[britmaveric]

Try being creative for once and offer nought!!

[dr_Pat_Pong]

How many bloody sinsod discussions do we need?

Is it me, or is Thaivisa dieing and agonisingly slow death?

Some of the farang punters are getting thicker.

[ray23]

Boy a simple search would have sloved this one in a hurry. But my thoughts if you got to buy it, go to the bar and do so. If you have a fight you can replace that in 15 Mins.

Wifes are much different creature, they are the ones yuo can argue with forget about it and move to build a life together.

I understand the Thai tradition and I respect it. I also know that marriage to a farrang is blended marriage and traditions on both sides of the fence have to respected.

The bottom line it doesn't matter what any of us think on here, if you want to start marriage based on money being the key factor, then proceed head on. Me I already know there is never enough money, nor will there ever be enough, everyone wants more.

[bendix]

No bendix,TV is going from strength to strength , but I personally agree with you re sinsod discussions.

There is enough in the archives to satisfy the most ardent "sinsod chaser" .

Well, you would say that, wouldn't you?

Serious question. What's your view based on? Do you measure numbers of posts etc? I'm curious

[jonniebkk]

The sin sod negotiation was kinda one sided. One million was asked for and my head turned red and I didn't say anything.

What, you didn't walk out of the room laughing uncontrollably. I would have and never returned any of their pleading phone calls!

[ozzydom]

No bendix,TV is going from strength to strength , but I personally agree with you re sinsod discussions.

There is enough in the archives to satisfy the most ardent "sinsod chaser" .

Well, you would say that, wouldn't you?

Serious question. What's your view based on? Do you measure numbers of posts etc? I'm curious

Purely on the fact that it must be a great forum to keep a discerning and intelligent person like yourself coming back for more.

[bendix]

But ozzydom, it's the other way round surely.

It's only the fact that a discerning and intelligent chap like me hangs around in TV, that keeps the forum alive . . .

It's a heavy burden, but it's one I'm prepared to shoulder with stoicism.

[skippybangkok]

do a NPV on future cash flows to determine if this is a viable project.

Edited May 2, 2008 by skippybangkok

[dr_Pat_Pong]

But ozzydom, it's the other way round surely.

It's only the fact that a discerning and intelligent chap like me hangs around in TV, that keeps the forum alive . . .

It's a heavy burden, but it's one I'm prepared to shoulder with stoicism.

Tickets please.

[ozzydom]

But ozzydom, it's the other way round surely.

It's only the fact that a discerning and intelligent chap like me hangs around in TV, that keeps the forum alive . . .

It's a heavy burden, but it's one I'm prepared to shoulder with stoicism.

Ah bendix,you have a way with words,thats exactly what I meant to say,but you put it so much better.

[TAWP]

How many bloody sinsod discussions do we need?

Obviously at least one more.

A mate of mine just paid 600K recently. (to a bargirl with a kid)

suckas born every minute.

And as a good friend you are you failed to inform him that according to tradition she would relieve nil, zero, zilch, nothing, if she married a Thai man?

[a2396]

How many bloody sinsod discussions do we need?

Obviously at least one more.

A mate of mine just paid 600K recently. (to a bargirl with a kid)

suckas born every minute.

And as a good friend you are you failed to inform him that according to tradition she would relieve nil, zero, zilch, nothing, if she married a Thai man?

Say it isn't so!! Many "experts" and rabid sin sod defenders have pointed out that the Thai man pays the same, mabye more. I am sure they will be coming out of the woodwork soon. We can't let this misconception go uncorrected.

[burman]

Yes many farangs pay the same as Thai men. It depends or how smart the farang man is, and the choice of woman (and family) he chooses to marry.

Many farang pay 1000 baht for a taxi from the airport to sukhumvit too, but it doesn't mean we are all that stupid.

[TAWP]

Besides, no Thai man would be stupid enough to pay for an ex bargirl with kids...

[rgs2001uk]

Besides, no Thai man would be stupid enough to pay for an ex bargirl with kids...

let me rephrase that, no ex bargirl with kids would be stupid enough to ask any thai man to pay.

[thaimate]

i as a farang was never asked for sinsod,but my sister in laws husband to be who is thai is giving her mum 1.5 million bhat.

she is quite well educated and speaks fluent english ,they both have leave to remain in britain as he was born there.

personally although i have nothing against a bar girl i think any guy who pays sinsod for one with a baby is not the sharpest knife in the drawer.

[colino]

Total Madness Yet Again

Thai Women want a western lifestyle but also wants a Thai Sin sod payment, No Way

If the woman in question wants all of the trappings that western money brings , then tell her NO Sin sod

Plenty more fish in the sea , so whats the difference between buying a girl from a bar and buying a wife from the family ????????????

[buffcoat]

If I understand you, after your near heart attack on being asked for 1mil your girlfriend sorted out the SinSod...does this mean you agreed a figure with her family through your girlfriend?

If a figure was agreed then the renewal of the initial request is way out of line. If they are asking for show money only then they should make that clear.

I personally would stick by the agreed figure(?) and not agree to amend it.

[meandwi]

The sin sod negotiation was kinda one sided. One million was asked for and my head turned red and I didn't say anything. Later, the mother let her daughter handle this. ** Now the original amount is asked for again. ** Since my ability to support my future wife is out of the question and there has been some financial commitment towards the family, I wonder how to interpret this situation.

The excellent pinned article indicates something untowards, but my understanding is that the money would be returned.

Any thoughts and experiences? Is some serious haggling called for?

The ability to negotiate the original asking amount of the sin sod, to a lower amount was a big deal in my meeting with the father.

My fiance was not allowed to attend that meeting! But she warned me before hand, "to make sure I stay strong, and negotiate! It shows that I will be a good husband".

By getting "red faced" and then having your fiance try to "handle this for you". Showed the family, who you are. Now that you know this. Go to the father again, without her, and negotiate! Bring someone to translate for you if needed.

Don't give up,

meandwi

[burman]

Thai Women want a western lifestyle but also wants a Thai Sin sod payment, No Way

Can you define western lifestyle for me?

[coventry]

From what I understand about the Thai dowery system is that it's only paid once. If she's been married before or lived with someone prior then it's not expected to be paid a second time. But they'll never tell you in the hope you're ignorant enough to pay it again.