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Seven Years With A Thai Girl Livein


Larryst

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What a load of crap. I have a wonderful Thai gf who would never do this. So I don't think you should generalise all Thai girls because of your own experience.This type of thing can happen in any country if you pick the wrong girl.

Now, I don't know for sure, but I would bet money that this girl you're talking about was a previous employee of "the Industry".

They are renowned for mental health problems. It happens to almost evry farang who chooses a girl who has ever worked (even for a short period). The guy is also usually 20-40 years older than the girl which obviously raises an alert as to her long term motives.

Just another one biting the dust. You wont be the last. :o

Sorry, your post is very much entitled to the same qualification!

Also full with similar generalizations, the typical patterns of: "bar girl", "the guy much older", "picked the wrong girl" ( never came across that expression) and besides I never claimed that "they all are the same"!

You may have missed that I was married to a thai national for 14 years! - Same ending... I live and work in this Country for 18 years... I can come up with a collection of stories which are very, very much the same pattern all over!

I could have taken her to court for cheating, and, and, and... I forgave her... she judged herself, today back to nothing.

Only one question:

Why is it that in many thai-boards this problem, comes up again and again in very similar patterns, books have been written about it....

I have lived and had relationships in many different countries and never have come across an accumulation of this kind of particular problem!

I wish you, and everybody else good luck!

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Only one question:

Why is it that in many thai-boards this problem, comes up again and again in very similar patterns, books have been written about it....

I have lived and had relationships in many different countries and never have come across an accumulation of this kind of particular problem!

I wish you, and everybody else good luck!

This sort of problem comes up because a significant proportion of mixed race relationships in Thailand involve a female who has worked in the sex industry. As an earlier poster pointed out, having been a sex worker probably distorts the ability to form and maintain sound relationships.

As for your comment that you have "had relationships in many different countries", presumably the bulk of these were back in the days before we had access to forums like this, so of course these sorts of problems (if they existed, and problems exist in relationships in all countries) would not have been advertised and talked about so publicly.

I am happily married to a Thai woman, have been for over ten years, would trust her with my life. Ditto I would trust her sisters, her friends, and also the Thai women that I worked with in Thailand, all of whom are in long-term stable and apparently loving relationships with their Thai men.

Mind you, all these women have had the benefits of a good family upbringing, and a good education. And none has ever had to work in the sex industry.

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Most of the money I used was from the ATM machine. But, I did go through my papers and I found a receipt for the construction of the house. I gave it to my lawyer along with a copy of her ID card, copy of the property land and pictures of the house. He said it happens all the time. He stated he will contact the girl and inform her that she owes money for the house. A long with papers for court later. He also told me and will tell her that it's in the category as cheating or stealing. So he said it is possible to get the house back. I told him to go along with it. I asked what if she doesn't have the money. He said then I can do anything to the house. Which means. Her mom will eventually be homeless. :o No house there on the land no more. My lawyer will call me as soon as he talks to her. I bet 1,000 to 1 she will also call me. Which I will say, you didn't want to talk to me before. So now you can talk to my lawyer. :D

If you can prove where the money came from then you should not need receipts. It would be obvious if the only source of income was from you. Especially if you have bank records showing the money came from overseas.
This post is excellent for rights. I would like to try to do it. Just to pi**ss off my girl & family. The trouble is, even though I paid for everything in cash. I have no receipts or anything in building the house (labor or materials). It would be a lot harder to prove it under court (I think).
To Larryst.

I had a similar problem regarding property and real estate, not with a girlfriend or wife, but a Farang Partner and his Thai wife.

I can assure you that your girlfriend even though the house and land is in its name, under Thai law she has no claim to any of it while the ownership of the property is in dispute.

Believe it or not, Farang residents in Thailand do have substantial legal rights under Thai law.

For example, if a Thai perpetrates a crime against a Farang person, the Thai is brought to book the same if committed against Thai by a Thai, although many may disagree.

According to Thai law your girlfriend and you are classed as common law husband and wife. Any claim for property between you must be assessed by a judge in the civil court. If your girlfriend wants to lay claim to the property she must first apply to the civil court to be a manager of the estate, either herself or a third party, than ask the judge to apportion who owns what share of the real estate plus any other expenses, maintenance, pain and stress, bills, vehicles etc. If your girlfriend rents out the property, you are entitled to 50% of the rent and you can have her arrested if she deliberately damages the property.

If your girlfriend sells the property prior to any litigation, she could face a heavy fine or even a prison sentence. I would guess that she already has some Thai loser boyfriend in tow and that the family are gambling on your naivety of the system in Thailand. Quite honestly you are being treated like a mug.

I am well experienced in these matters, was a fully qualified legal executive in the UK. First things, contact your nearest consultant or embassy and ask for details of a reputable Thai lawyer. Much better than word of mouth or from an ad because some lawyers are not always up to the job. The consulates and embassies have a number of recommended lawyers on their books.

Once you have appointed a lawyer, get him/her to write to your girlfriend for an out of court settlement that will be agreeable to both parties. You will find that once these cretins receive a lawyer's letter, they will <deleted> themselves and may do the trick, which will make them think you are not as gullible as they first thought.

If that strategy doesn't work, second, begin civil court proceedings against your girlfriend and her family. The court fees are 2.5% of the value of the real estate, which is valued according to the estimates of the land office. As it is you that will take them to court, you can claim back all your legal fees, including lawyer's fees from the proceeds of the estate.

While this is going on, stay well clear of your girlfriend and her family and have no contact other than that from your lawyer. Otherwise they will claim harassment and get the police involved, which will go against you in court.

Providing you have stayed clean since living in Thailand and all the property purchases were above board, you should have no problems with the legal system and be able to claim back what is rightfully yours.

If your girlfriend or her family sells the real estate before judgment is made in the civil court, you can take out a criminal case against them with the police and have them arrested for cheating you. Just walk into a main police station and give the details and request an arrest. If one police station is not interested, try another. You may be asked for something under the counter, that can't be claimed back.

As for the emotional part of it, that's something you have to deal with as a separate issue.

Please keep us informed of your progress and good luck.

Edited by Larryst
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I feel sorry for the OP, but hope he has learnt his lesson and makes sure it doesn't happen again.

Quote from a well known intelligent person (Gomer Pyle). Fool me once. Shame on you. Fool me twice. Shame on me.

Edited by Larryst
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To Larryst.

I had a similar problem regarding property and real estate, not with a girlfriend or wife, but a Farang Partner and his Thai wife.

I can assure you that your girlfriend even though the house and land is in its name, under Thai law she has no claim to any of it while the ownership of the property is in dispute.

Believe it or not, Farang residents in Thailand do have substantial legal rights under Thai law.

For example, if a Thai perpetrates a crime against a Farang person, the Thai is brought to book the same if committed against Thai by a Thai, although many may disagree.

According to Thai law your girlfriend and you are classed as common law husband and wife. Any claim for property between you must be assessed by a judge in the civil court. If your girlfriend wants to lay claim to the property she must first apply to the civil court to be a manager of the estate, either herself or a third party, than ask the judge to apportion who owns what share of the real estate plus any other expenses, maintenance, pain and stress, bills, vehicles etc. If your girlfriend rents out the property, you are entitled to 50% of the rent and you can have her arrested if she deliberately damages the property.

If your girlfriend sells the property prior to any litigation, she could face a heavy fine or even a prison sentence. I would guess that she already has some Thai loser boyfriend in tow and that the family are gambling on your naivety of the system in Thailand. Quite honestly you are being treated like a mug.

I am well experienced in these matters, was a fully qualified legal executive in the UK. First things, contact your nearest consultant or embassy and ask for details of a reputable Thai lawyer. Much better than word of mouth or from an ad because some lawyers are not always up to the job. The consulates and embassies have a number of recommended lawyers on their books.

Once you have appointed a lawyer, get him/her to write to your girlfriend for an out of court settlement that will be agreeable to both parties. You will find that once these cretins receive a lawyer's letter, they will <deleted> themselves and may do the trick, which will make them think you are not as gullible as they first thought.

If that strategy doesn't work, second, begin civil court proceedings against your girlfriend and her family. The court fees are 2.5% of the value of the real estate, which is valued according to the estimates of the land office. As it is you that will take them to court, you can claim back all your legal fees, including lawyer's fees from the proceeds of the estate.

While this is going on, stay well clear of your girlfriend and her family and have no contact other than that from your lawyer. Otherwise they will claim harassment and get the police involved, which will go against you in court.

Providing you have stayed clean since living in Thailand and all the property purchases were above board, you should have no problems with the legal system and be able to claim back what is rightfully yours.

If your girlfriend or her family sells the real estate before judgment is made in the civil court, you can take out a criminal case against them with the police and have them arrested for cheating you. Just walk into a main police station and give the details and request an arrest. If one police station is not interested, try another. You may be asked for something under the counter, that can't be claimed back.

As for the emotional part of it, that's something you have to deal with as a separate issue.

Please keep us informed of your progress and good luck.

My Thai Wife is currently building a house for her mother. Her father has taken to selling the building materials before the house can be finished. It is not his land. We are both out of Thailand and will not be back to December. My Wifes Brother is on his way to the village to try to put a stop to it.

Does anyone think the Thai police would get involved?

post-59486-1210059713_thumb.jpg

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I feel sorry for the OP, but hope he has learnt his lesson and makes sure it doesn't happen again.

Quote from a well known intelligent person (Gomer Pyle). Fool me once. Shame on you. Fool me twice. Shame on me.

Good on yer, mate :o

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What a load of crap. I have a wonderful Thai gf who would never do this. So I don't think you should generalise all Thai girls because of your own experience.This type of thing can happen in any country if you pick the wrong girl.

Now, I don't know for sure, but I would bet money that this girl you're talking about was a previous employee of "the Industry".

They are renowned for mental health problems. It happens to almost evry farang who chooses a girl who has ever worked (even for a short period). The guy is also usually 20-40 years older than the girl which obviously raises an alert as to her long term motives.

Just another one biting the dust. You wont be the last. :o

I agree with much of what you say (much BUT, not all)

The Thai BG's are (read, many, or perhaps majority) a bunch of nutters. They wouldn't have the relationship making skills of a serial killer.

But a girl doesn't have to come from a bar background to have these (or lack of) attributes.

I agree that the age differences that you mention do tend to exacerbate any problems that one might experience in a relationship.

It is your opening line that I find that is supercilious. Regardless of where you met your GF or where she worked (or her family background) you are just as exposed as anyone else to, having your world come crashing down on you at some time in the future.

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What a load of crap. I have a wonderful Thai gf who would never do this. So I don't think you should generalise all Thai girls because of your own experience.This type of thing can happen in any country if you pick the wrong girl.

Now, I don't know for sure, but I would bet money that this girl you're talking about was a previous employee of "the Industry".

They are renowned for mental health problems. It happens to almost evry farang who chooses a girl who has ever worked (even for a short period). The guy is also usually 20-40 years older than the girl which obviously raises an alert as to her long term motives.

Just another one biting the dust. You wont be the last. :o

Sorry, your post is very much entitled to the same qualification!

Also full with similar generalizations, the typical patterns of: "bar girl", "the guy much older", "picked the wrong girl" ( never came across that expression) and besides I never claimed that "they all are the same"!

You may have missed that I was married to a thai national for 14 years! - Same ending... I live and work in this Country for 18 years... I can come up with a collection of stories which are very, very much the same pattern all over!

I could have taken her to court for cheating, and, and, and... I forgave her... she judged herself, today back to nothing.

Only one question:

Why is it that in many thai-boards this problem, comes up again and again in very similar patterns, books have been written about it....

I have lived and had relationships in many different countries and never have come across an accumulation of this kind of particular problem! <<<Bottom LINE

I wish you, and everybody else good luck!

----------------------

My ex of eight years came from a fairly well to do family, was a sales exec at Mercedes Benz of BKK then assistant manager of the BKK Amari. Screwed me exquisitly.

Samuian, we are in the same "congregation." I do try to make a "donation" daily... :D

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To Larryst.

I had a similar problem regarding property and real estate, not with a girlfriend or wife, but a Farang Partner and his Thai wife.

I can assure you that your girlfriend even though the house and land is in its name, under Thai law she has no claim to any of it while the ownership of the property is in dispute.

Believe it or not, Farang residents in Thailand do have substantial legal rights under Thai law.

For example, if a Thai perpetrates a crime against a Farang person, the Thai is brought to book the same if committed against Thai by a Thai, although many may disagree.

According to Thai law your girlfriend and you are classed as common law husband and wife. Any claim for property between you must be assessed by a judge in the civil court. If your girlfriend wants to lay claim to the property she must first apply to the civil court to be a manager of the estate, either herself or a third party, than ask the judge to apportion who owns what share of the real estate plus any other expenses, maintenance, pain and stress, bills, vehicles etc. If your girlfriend rents out the property, you are entitled to 50% of the rent and you can have her arrested if she deliberately damages the property.

If your girlfriend sells the property prior to any litigation, she could face a heavy fine or even a prison sentence. I would guess that she already has some Thai loser boyfriend in tow and that the family are gambling on your naivety of the system in Thailand. Quite honestly you are being treated like a mug.

I am well experienced in these matters, was a fully qualified legal executive in the UK. First things, contact your nearest consultant or embassy and ask for details of a reputable Thai lawyer. Much better than word of mouth or from an ad because some lawyers are not always up to the job. The consulates and embassies have a number of recommended lawyers on their books.

Once you have appointed a lawyer, get him/her to write to your girlfriend for an out of court settlement that will be agreeable to both parties. You will find that once these cretins receive a lawyer's letter, they will &lt;deleted&gt; themselves and may do the trick, which will make them think you are not as gullible as they first thought.

If that strategy doesn't work, second, begin civil court proceedings against your girlfriend and her family. The court fees are 2.5% of the value of the real estate, which is valued according to the estimates of the land office. As it is you that will take them to court, you can claim back all your legal fees, including lawyer's fees from the proceeds of the estate.

While this is going on, stay well clear of your girlfriend and her family and have no contact other than that from your lawyer. Otherwise they will claim harassment and get the police involved, which will go against you in court.

Providing you have stayed clean since living in Thailand and all the property purchases were above board, you should have no problems with the legal system and be able to claim back what is rightfully yours.

If your girlfriend or her family sells the real estate before judgment is made in the civil court, you can take out a criminal case against them with the police and have them arrested for cheating you. Just walk into a main police station and give the details and request an arrest. If one police station is not interested, try another. You may be asked for something under the counter, that can't be claimed back.

As for the emotional part of it, that's something you have to deal with as a separate issue.

Please keep us informed of your progress and good luck.

My Thai Wife is currently building a house for her mother. Her father has taken to selling the building materials before the house can be finished. It is not his land. We are both out of Thailand and will not be back to December. My Wifes Brother is on his way to the village to try to put a stop to it.

Does anyone think the Thai police would get involved?

---------------------

Only if they can get the materials real cheap... :D:o:D

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Yes indeed, another cautionary tale that must be logged.

Though for perspective, seven years in this day and age is a fairly long run, would the material loss amortization over seven years be worth the net happiness garnered with this person, only the Op can say.

Still, the realization that trust built over a significant time was just an illusion can be disheartening and doesn't bode well for placing much faith in future relationships,

So what are we to come away with, ignorance is bliss or better to sleep with one eye open, :o

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I have a pal who changes his women every 3 months or so.

They have no access to his funds and he never leaves much of value lying around, making it clear he doesn't trust easily.

He agrees a fair wage with them which they receive as long as they deliver and fires them as soon as they default.

His philosophy: "There are plenty more where she came from".

He doesn't even acknowledge "brothers", mothers, sisters or buffalos because he doesn't have to.

Cold blooded perhaps, but he doesn't have to worry about if she's faithful to him because he assumes she probably isn't, despite her

reassurances and he seems happier than many married men I know.

This man was an early victim of the f+++ 'em, fleece 'em, forget 'em brigade and he never forgot the lessons learned from this Thai

sport.

He has lived in Thailand on and off for some 20 years and says he will continue to do so as long as it's on his terms.

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Sounds like an episode of the Sopranos.

------------------------

"Ey are you lookin' at me?"

"Are you lookin' at me?"

"I don't see anybudy else standin' here"

"If you're lookin' at me you're gonna have a f@ckin' problem" -

Robert De Niro, Taxi

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Yes indeed, another cautionary tale that must be logged.

Though for perspective, seven years in this day and age is a fairly long run, would the material loss amortization over seven years be worth the net happiness garnered with this person, only the Op can say.

Still, the realization that trust built over a significant time was just an illusion can be disheartening and doesn't bode well for placing much faith in future relationships,

So what are we to come away with, ignorance is bliss or better to sleep with one eye open, :o

--------------------

I wasn't sure if this was meant for me or one of the other posters.

It does seem to appy though.

Honestly, I have to say the first five years was like being married to an angel.

It gradually went down hill over the next three years after she got her US passport. Hummm.

I have thought and reffered to the old saying many times, "Is it better to have loved and lost then to never have loved at all?"

Not sure sometimes I think yes and other time s no.

"It will all come out in the wash." :D

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I have a pal who changes his women every 3 months or so.

They have no access to his funds and he never leaves much of value lying around, making it clear he doesn't trust easily.

He agrees a fair wage with them which they receive as long as they deliver and fires them as soon as they default.

His philosophy: "There are plenty more where she came from".

He doesn't even acknowledge "brothers", mothers, sisters or buffalos because he doesn't have to.

Cold blooded perhaps, but he doesn't have to worry about if she's faithful to him because he assumes she probably isn't, despite her

reassurances and he seems happier than many married men I know.

This man was an early victim of the f+++ 'em, fleece 'em, forget 'em brigade and he never forgot the lessons learned from this Thai

sport.

He has lived in Thailand on and off for some 20 years and says he will continue to do so as long as it's on his terms.

-------------------------

Man Quertz you are on a roll today.

Destined to become a classic.

I am not a selfish person by nature but I'm sure trying... :o

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Shucks, Pepe, I just thought it was time to toss in some facts and logic.

How's life?

-----------------------

Pretty good my brother, pretty good.

What a difference a year makes... :o

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Shucks, Pepe, I just thought it was time to toss in some facts and logic.

How's life?

-----------------------

Pretty good my brother, pretty good.

What a difference a year makes... :o

Our trips might coincide one day before one of us dies, you're due a beer from me.

Ho Hum, back to bursting bubbles.

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i do not know why i feel "compelled" to contribute... :D i am certainly not in this kind of situation, and cannot even relate...

but just for purposes of discussion, and some pure and sincere intention to help, how's this perspective?

1. if i were a YOUNG FARANG guy and in LOS, working and looking for a relationship and love, etc, i would probably be more choosy with whom i would want to hook up. there should be a lot of wonderful and intelligent thai women in your work places or social circles who would want to meet up and have a relationship with an equally young and intelligent and hardworking farang to spend the rest of their life with. not that i look down on bar girls but unless they are your preference, i dont see why one should have a serious relationship with women who most probably have a different family background and upbringing from yours. and worse, have developed and been exposed to poor values in the course of their work.... (money and short term fun).

2. if i were an older, RETIRED FARANG and looking for a good retirement nest (where their dollars, euros and pounds will go a long way) and some young partner to spend their last few years on this planet (without having to hire your own nurse or caregiver plus plus -- come on, admit it :D ), i would not mind getting a village girl or even someone not necessarily young (who will still bear children... what's the idea of raising a young family when you are old enough to be a grandfather? - doesnt really make sense, does it? as instead of relaxing and enjoying your retirement, you are running after toddlers, imagine this scene).. i am sure middle aged, even single professionals looking for good partners must also be in good supply. widows, unattached, separated should be considered first....before...

bargirls...but if you have to have a bargirl, at least find one who still has a good heart, good values. a lot of these girls have been pushed to these jobs out of poverty or forced into it with some unpleasant stories to boot. some are still good inside and dreaming of a a nice, clean relationship even with someone older than them.

ok, i think i have said enough..... :o am not even sure if i really offered a good suggestion on how to minimize native-woman/farang relationship problems mentioned in this thread..

anyway, the idea is, know what you really want before jumping into any relationship -- which is not synonymous with jumping on the bed when the feeling is right... :D better do the thinking before than regretting later. its a guarantee you will do a lot of thinking later when the relationship gets messy, and its a guarantee too that this kind of thinking will be way too much painful and expensive. :D and pop the fantasy bubble..get down to reality as quickly as that lovestruck feeling goes away. and make sure the partner is also not living in fantasy...

i guess i am old fashioned when i view marriage, something sacred and should last forever, and something that should make you and your partner a better person, rather than the opposite. otherwise, dont do it..

whew, beats posting plant and dog tips and even 3 word or 5 word story continuation.... heavy stuff this one... :D

Edited by aries27
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i do not know why i feel "compelled" to contribute... :D i am certainly not in this kind of situation, and cannot even relate...

but just for purposes of discussion, and some pure and sincere intention to help, how's this perspective?

1. if i were a YOUNG FARANG guy and in LOS, working and looking for a relationship and love, etc, i would probably be more choosy with whom i would want to hook up. there should be a lot of wonderful and intelligent thai women in your work places or social circles who would want to meet up and have a relationship with an equally young and intelligent and hardworking farang to spend the rest of their life with. not that i look down on bar girls but unless they are your preference, i dont see why one should have a serious relationship with women who most probably have a different family background and upbringing from yours. and worse, have developed and been exposed to poor values in the course of their work.... (money and short term fun).

2. if i were an older, RETIRED FARANG and looking for a good retirement nest (where their dollars, euros and pounds will go a long way) and some young partner to spend their last few years on this planet (without having to hire your own nurse or caregiver plus plus -- come on, admit it :D ), i would not mind getting a village girl or even someone not necessarily young (who will still bear children... what's the idea of raising a young family when you are old enough to be a grandfather? - doesnt really make sense, does it? as instead of relaxing and enjoying your retirement, you are running after toddlers, imagine this scene).. i am sure middle aged, even single professionals looking for good partners must also be in good supply. widows, unattached, separated should be considered first....before...

bargirls...but if you have to have a bargirl, at least find one who still has a good heart, good values. a lot of these girls have been pushed to these jobs out of poverty or forced into it with some unpleasant stories to boot. some are still good inside and dreaming of a a nice, clean relationship even with someone older than them.

ok, i think i have said enough..... :o am not even sure if i really offered a good suggestion on how to minimize native-woman/farang relationship problems mentioned in this thread..

anyway, the idea is, know what you really want before jumping into any relationship -- which is not synonymous with jumping on the bed when the feeling is right... :D better do the thinking before than regretting later. its a guarantee you will do a lot of thinking later when the relationship gets messy, and its a guarantee too that this kind of thinking will be way too much painful and expensive. :D and pop the fantasy bubble..get down to reality as quickly as that lovestruck feeling goes away. and make sure the partner is also not living in fantasy...

i guess i am old fashioned when i view marriage, something sacred and should last forever, and something that should make you and your partner a better person, rather than the opposite. otherwise, dont do it..

whew, beats posting plant and dog tips and even 3 word or 5 word story continuation.... heavy stuff this one... :D

Wise words :D

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well another sad story.

The bit that caught my eye was the OP,s comment re not giving someone 8k a month when they are not having sex?

What was she? Profession I mean. I think that was an insult.

Maybe got what he deserved. treated her like one and she acted like one!

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well another sad story.

The bit that caught my eye was the OP,s comment re not giving someone 8k a month when they are not having sex?

What was she? Profession I mean. I think that was an insult.

Maybe got what he deserved. treated her like one and she acted like one!

I think I posted before. I did give her 8K a month. For her use and to spend as she liked and help her obligations. It was not for sex. She did have her own life and she needed money of her own.

Edited by Larryst
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Just something I thought I'd mention:

Before starting on things like purchasing a vehicle/house etc., or having a house built, it would be prudent to read up on the laws involved beforehand. Not doing so is careless and asking for trouble; especially in Thailand, where the law seems to only apply selectively.

I've studied Thai law though, and your situation is somewhat confusing. According to Thai law, while the house in the second case is indeed hers, anything that is not nailed to the floor is yours, if you can prove it. (This is assuming you weren't married.) Only immovable property would default to your TG's ownership.

If you were interested in pursuing the issue, you could've brought her to court over it, I'm pretty sure.

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Prostitutes are for having fun with......not marrying :o

Well, well, well, not all of "them" are really "Bar-Girlz" or Pros', neither easily identifiable as such.... next time I will consult you and the others, "who know it all", first to give "the chosen one" a thorough check up! :D

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To the OP dude, really, you could have gotten taken by a hoe like that from ANY country with the state of mind you were in. Don't go around saying trash like "Oh no one is safe with a Thai woman in any relationship" just because your a looser.

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Prostitutes are for having fun with......not marrying :D

Well, well, well, not all of "them" are really "Bar-Girlz" or Pros', neither easily identifiable as such.... next time I will consult you and the others, "who know it all", first to give "the chosen one" a thorough check up! :D

They're easily identifiable as such when they ask for money for sex :o

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