The Wife From Texas

[WillyL]

A West Texas Cowboy's wife forgot her cookies she had baked for work, so she came home just in time to find her husband in bed with another woman. Before he could see her coming, she picked up his boot and smashed it into his head knocking him out.

With the screams of the other woman making a deafening roar, the wife took one look at her and said, "Shut Up. Get Out. Or Die."

Now that they were alone, with super-human strength borne of fury and a lifetime of cutting calves, the wife dragged her unfaithful husband down the stairs, out the back door and into the tool shed out back of the barn. She put his tally-whacker in a vice, and then secured it tightly and removed the handle.

The pain of the vice brought the husband out of his stupor. The moment he figured out what had happened, his eyes bulged.

The banged up Cowboy was terrified!

Noticing her husband had awakened, the Texas She Devil spotted an old carpenter's saw.

The husband saw the look in her eye and blanched. He hollered, "Stop! Stop! You're not gonna cut it off with that rusty dam_n saw, are you?"

"hel_l, no. I could get in trouble for that."

With a gleam of revenge in her eye she kicked it over to her husband and said, "Nope. I'm gonna have me a cigarette and maybe forget to put it out and maybe flick it over into that sawdust. Then I'm going into town for a cold beer. You can do whatever you want!"