Applicable Laws

Lerman's Law of Technology:

Any technical problem can be overcome given

enough time and money.

Corollary:

You are never given enough time or money.

Law of the Search:

The first place to look for anything is the last place you would expect to find it.

Corollary:

It will not be in the last place you expect to find it.

Kaufman's Paradox of the Corporation:

The less important you are to the corporation, the more your tardiness or absence is noticed.

The Salary Axiom:

The pay raise is just large enough to increase your taxes and just small enough to have no effect on your take-home pay.

Miller's Law of Insurance:

Insurance covers everything except what happens.

First Law of Living:

As soon as you start doing what you always wanted to be doing, you'll want to be doing something else.

Weiner's Law of Libraries:

There are no answers, only cross-references.

Isaac's Strange Rule of Staleness:

Any food that starts out hard will soften when stale. Any food that starts out soft will harden when stale.

Kenny's Law of Auto Repair:

The part requiring the most consistent repair or replacement will be housed in the most inaccessible location.

Second Law of Business Meetings:

If there are two possible ways to spell a person's name, you will pick the wrong one.

Corollary -

If there is only one way to spell a name, you will spell it wrong anyway.

The Grocery Bag Law:

The candy bar you planned to eat on the way home from the market is hidden at the bottom of the grocery bag.

Yeager's Law: Washing machines break down only during the wash cycle.

Corollary:

All breakdowns occur on the plumber's day off.

Lampner's Law of Employment:

When leaving work late, you will go unnoticed. When you leave work early, you will meet the boss in the parking lot.

Quile's Consultation Law:

The job that pays the most will be offered when there is no time to deliver the services.

Loftus' Law:

Some people manage by the book, even though they don't know who wrote the book or even which book it is. Lovka's Dilemma:

You never get away, you only get someplace else.