How Do I Get My Husband To Stop Smoking?

[elsphit]

Hi their guys.., I'm just a very newly registered on this site, and as I read this site I really impress about people who are very much willing to quit from smoking, not just for their self but also for their family. How many times did I try to talk to my husband and please him to sttop from smoking 'cause me and my dayghter already got a hard coughf because of the smoke that we take from his being a smoker. And then he promise me me to quit from it, but then that promise will only take just A few ours, then after tat his back in smoking again. Please advise or give me some important tips in how I can make him quuit from smoking. Thank you.

___________________________

delia

[malcolminthemiddle]

Hi their guys.., I'm just a very newly registered on this site, and as I read this site I really impress about people who are very much willing to quit from smoking, not just for their self but also for their family. How many times did I try to talk to my husband and please him to sttop from smoking 'cause me and my dayghter already got a hard coughf because of the smoke that we take from his being a smoker. And then he promise me me to quit from it, but then that promise will only take just A few ours, then after tat his back in smoking again. Please advise or give me some important tips in how I can make him quuit from smoking. Thank you.

___________________________

delia

Hi Delia,

Getting a loved one to quit is quite a challenge. The more you complain the more it will seem like you are nagging him. This will only irritate him. You need a more indirect strategy.

I'm assuming he smokes indoors at home? an/or maybe in the car. First step, ask him calmly and politely but firmly to stop smoking indoors at home and in the car. If he wants to smoke he can go outside. Please let me know how he reacts to your request.

Some background information would also be helpful. How old you both are and your daughter, how long has your husband been smoking and how many cigarretes he smokes per day. Does he have any hobbies or other interests that are important to him.

[stephania]

Good day Delia!

I'm new also in this forum and your right this site is interesting and informative one.

Regarding your problems about your husband, Malcolminthemiddle is right if your husband wants to smoke tell him to smoke outside and explain to him you and your daughter cannot take the smoke of the cigarettes. Tell him that you’re having a cough if you can breathe the smoke.

Yes try to tell him once to minimize taking cigarette until his willing to stop smoking.

[billd766]

My problem is that it is my wife who wants to stop smoking but she cannot.

However to be fair she ONLY smokes outside and does her best to keep the smoke away from our 4 year old son. In the car she does ask him first and she does open the window.

She has smoked all the 15 years I have known her and she is smoking less now so she is trying.

The noise she makes first thing in the morning reminds me that I once scrapped a car that sounded like that.

I am an ex smoker of some 37 years and I gave up successfully about 4 times until the last when I just stopped and gave away all my cigarettes etc and have never smoked again.

But it was hard to do.

[Jockstar]

However to be fair she ONLY smokes outside and does her best to keep the smoke away from our 4 year old son. In the car she does ask him first and she does open the window.

This made me laugh. You say he is 4 years old. Why does she ask a 4 year old if she can or not?

[billd766]

However to be fair she ONLY smokes outside and does her best to keep the smoke away from our 4 year old son. In the car she does ask him first and she does open the window.

This made me laugh. You say he is 4 years old. Why does she ask a 4 year old if she can or not?

Because she realises that it is his life and if he says no then she will wait until we have a break and then go out and smoke. Unfortunately we don't live in the car all the time or she would probably jump out.

As an aside I was flying back from Angola a rew years ago and we had a stop over in another country. We had to stay on board and one guy was out on the steps for as long as possible puffing away.

Have you never looked in the smokers rooms at the airports? I feel sorry for the people in there.

[koto]

Hi their guys.., I'm just a very newly registered on this site, and as I read this site I really impress about people who are very much willing to quit from smoking, not just for their self but also for their family. How many times did I try to talk to my husband and please him to sttop from smoking 'cause me and my dayghter already got a hard coughf because of the smoke that we take from his being a smoker. And then he promise me me to quit from it, but then that promise will only take just A few ours, then after tat his back in smoking again. Please advise or give me some important tips in how I can make him quuit from smoking. Thank you.

___________________________

delia

Aloha Delia

First off he must want to for life's sake and also for you, there is one thing you can do and that is to at least teach him to not flick his butts as it is killing our children, wild life along with making our waterways contaminated, as you must know, many die before they can quit, I wish you all good luck

[mommysboy]

Personally I gave up when the pain of sinusitis got too much, so the hard line is to remind him that the smoking makes the pain worse when he coughs, snorts, has a cold headache or whatever. The carrot is the greatly improved health and zest for life, remind him of this too.

[lazeeboy]

stop badgering him ,you can only stop when its right for ypu,all the asking and begging only makes people smoke more

[hanno]

I stopped smoking two years ago. Whilst part of the reason was that my wife did not like me smoking, I am afraid that, much as I love her, I would never have stopped for that reason alone. I think for anyone to really stop, that person has to be really "ready" to do so. Let's face it: most smokers do know that the habit is not healthy but q number of things need to come together to actually do something about it (am I making sense here ).

[imaneggspurt]

Its difficult isnt it,we have an uncle that has smoked all his life, but he gave up for a year, my wife never ever said anything to him about giving up ,but when he came to visit us his skin on his face looked a lot better and she told him, in a very polite way, it made him think, and although hes started again hes smoking less for sure, compliments work better than pushing someone, we actualy have had rows over it but it did no good,.try saying

'"oh we saw bill smith the other day, hes looking really good and so proud of giving up,".dont worry smokers know we ( non smokers ) dont like it but that in itself wont have them give up, its a terrible drug nicotine and the user must want to stop,.most do ,but its not easy,.

[gymshark]

I used to work with a guy who said he couldn't quit, we saw a thing on TV about pain association so we hit him every time he went for a smoke (he agreed to try it by the way) and it worked. Some people have had success with less painful ways such as pinching or wearing an elastic band on the wrist and twanging it hard. It really does work.

[imaneggspurt]

I used to work with a guy who said he couldn't quit, we saw a thing on TV about pain association so we hit him every time he went for a smoke (he agreed to try it by the way) and it worked. Some people have had success with less painful ways such as pinching or wearing an elastic band on the wrist and twanging it hard. It really does work.

But the punch in the nose is still the best !

[apo]

make him smoke more not less

with this system.....things willl work faster!

[poshthai]

i smoke for 30 odd years and when i had settled in Pattaya with my gf and step son i wanted to live for many many more years and realised if i carried on smoking i would die a horrible slow death,gave my cigs away and stopped just like that.I can walk 15 + kilometer every day now and not even feel out of breath.Life is wonderful and i intend to live forever lol.

[natmcalpine]

Probably easier to wean him off sex. On the other hand , what did it or me was a quad bypass. Also you may wish to stop being his personal nookie machine. Its worth a try.

[hagler]

Give him 1 month to quit otherwise you are going to leave him. You and especially your daughter are better off without him if he wont stop and remains a smoker as he will just become a burden on you when the diseases start from his smoking later on. Smokers who cant quit are just weak willed losers anyway and you'd be better off with a stronger more virile husband.

[desi]

Hi their guys.., I'm just a very newly registered on this site, and as I read this site I really impress about people who are very much willing to quit from smoking, not just for their self but also for their family. How many times did I try to talk to my husband and please him to sttop from smoking 'cause me and my dayghter already got a hard coughf because of the smoke that we take from his being a smoker. And then he promise me me to quit from it, but then that promise will only take just A few ours, then after tat his back in smoking again. Please advise or give me some important tips in how I can make him quuit from smoking. Thank you.

___________________________

delia

There's not really enough background for me to answer, so please accept my apologies if you've already tried the below...

You say that he promises to quit... that's a plus as he's halfway there.

Has he researched and / or talked to a doctor to put a solid regime in place? Because just waving a hand in the direction of action doesn't always work without a strong plan to back it up.

1) Make inside rules: No smoking inside the house or in the car

2) Put incentives in place: A goal he can aim for with a reward at the end - up to your finances - a trip, new motorcycle, the car he's always wanted, tungsten darts, a sky diving course, a spicy weekend with just the two of you, a fishing trip...

3) Get what's needed to get him through this: Some suck on candies, some need patches or drugs, some chew on toothpicks, some need sex on demand... try anything and everything.

4) Agree on compromises: What does he want from you? Do you have a habit he'd like to see the back of?

5) Take your daughter to the doctor to get a report on her health and future health: Tape it to the fridge.

6) Take him to a doctor to get a report on his health and future health: Tape it to the fridge.

7) Get him to list the positives as well as the negatives: Tape it to the fridge (if there's enough room)

8) Don't nag when he fails: Support him verbally so he can get back on the right track.

9) Let friends and family know what you are up to, but also ask them to avoid nagging. Just don't smoke in front of him, etc.

10) If drinking makes him want to smoke, then talk to him seriously about rearranging his lifestyle until he's smoke free. And that means your lifestyle too if that's the case.

11) Decide what you won't do if he continues smoking and don't do it (don't just nag about not doing it): What you decide is of course up to you and your relationship... dunno... stop cooking special meals for him, stop washing his cigarette soaked clothes, remove yourself and your daughter from the vicinity when he starts smoking (go to a friend or relative?)... stop sitting with him when he smells like an ashtray... and a biggie, stop kissing that nasty cigarette mouth... when he realises that it's NOT sexy at all, perhaps he'll see direct benefits?

Bottom line? Become active in helping him quit but don't make it a power struggle. Agree up front on what will happen from both sides. It's for the good of the whole family so make it a family affair. Support him. Trust him to do well. Support him if he fails the first, second, third or whatever time, as he most likely will. Support him by helping to get him back in line and back to doing whatever it takes to quit. But don't support his habit or any excuses that come up (and they will).

Btw - I quit around 20 years ago and now I can't imagine ever being a smoker. I quit because of a guy... because he did not like cigarets... It took me about a year to stop standing next to smokers when partying. Now I throw lowered brows in their direction...

Note: The suggestions will not work for everyone. Some people do not want outside pressure, yadda yadda...

Good luck.

[rixalex]

I am an ex smoker of some 37 years and I gave up successfully about 4 times

Isn't "giving up successfully" something by definition you can only do once?

[Bengt]

My way to stop smoking was to use other kinds of tobacco products like chewing tobacco and classical Swedish snuff and it took me some time to quit smoking cigs.

Other nikotin substitutes are for ex. nikotin chewing gum that releives the abstinence's of smoking.

However Swedish snuff is a bit difficult to buy here in Thailand and its a few Swedish retaurants in for ex. Pattaya that sells it and some other places like Scandinavian Church in Bangkok.

Nikotin chewing gum is available at farmacies but very expensive.

Good luck to everyone that's wants to stop whith the lung destroying cigarette smoking.

Edited October 14, 2008 by Bengt

[prapagorn]

Good luck for everyone ...................

chewing gum and play sports

take care

[CharlieRotario]

Hello, I'm new here and it's a pleasure to find people with the same mindset!

I had the same problem, but opposite to yours. I had to help my wife to stop smoking! It was quite difficult but we succeeded, together. It's all about love. We planned to have a baby and I explained her that it's stupid for her to continue smoking as long as she wants that child.

You can use the same method if you like, maybe you can achieve good results also.

Charlie R

Edited November 18, 2008 by CharlieRotario

[babo]

My way to stop smoking was to use other kinds of tobacco products like chewing tobacco and classical Swedish snuff and it took me some time to quit smoking cigs.

Other nikotin substitutes are for ex. nikotin chewing gum that releives the abstinence's of smoking.

However Swedish snuff is a bit difficult to buy here in Thailand and its a few Swedish retaurants in for ex. Pattaya that sells it and some other places like Scandinavian Church in Bangkok.

Nikotin chewing gum is available at farmacies but very expensive.

Good luck to everyone that's wants to stop whith the lung destroying cigarette smoking.

How much is snus in Bangkok and are there other places to buy it apart from the church?

thanks

[RoadRash]

Trade sex for smokes.

Tell him for every day he goes without a smoke you'll give him a BJ.

Everyday he has a ciggie, no sex for a week

Bet he stops.

I would

Edited April 4, 2009 by RoadRash

[vasine]

Hi their guys.., I'm just a very newly registered on this site, and as I read this site I really impress about people who are very much willing to quit from smoking, not just for their self but also for their family. How many times did I try to talk to my husband and please him to sttop from smoking 'cause me and my dayghter already got a hard coughf because of the smoke that we take from his being a smoker. And then he promise me me to quit from it, but then that promise will only take just A few ours, then after tat his back in smoking again. Please advise or give me some important tips in how I can make him quuit from smoking. Thank you.

___________________________

delia

Please contact this number 089-0744484 he is the Swedish manager for Thai company name south east port.He import Scandinavian products to Thailand and have Swedish snus legally in Thailand.Minimun order is 10 boxes (1 stock). Keep General,Ettan,Grov in stock in Bangkok.Best price ever..

[trucking]

You could try hynotherapy.......works for some.

[metisdead]

I quit smoking in 1981. I got to thinking back then how much money I was burning then and if I continued to do so, how much more money would I burn if i continued to smoke cigarettes. My dad continued to smoke until he was about 55 and quit cold turkey, mom's migraine headaches disappeared as well. I continue to wonder why people think smoking is good/cool or fun. Ever since I quit smoking, (and the wife doesn't do tobacco either), I/we notice/despise being near a smoker. I know it is and will be a continuing battle for you to get him quit, he must see the light that it just isn't right to continue. However, smokers think it is their devine to right to do so, this could go on and on, best of luck in getting him to quit lighting up, hope you can get him to see the light.

[Mossfinn]

Send him to the Hebrides

[leogerritsen]

My way to stop smoking was the following :

- reason to stop : all the nagging around me about smoking

- i decided to break my personal record and then stop

- my goal was to smoke two bags of tobacco per day

- one rolled cigarette lasts about 15 minutes

- i can roll between 25 and 30 cigarettes from one bag

- that meant i had to smoke between 750 and 900 minutes per day

It took me about 3 months to get to smoke that much cigarettes. In that times smoking

turned into an obsession, while i was smoking one cigarette i was already rolling the next one.

I watched myself smoking and rolling with humor. How in the world was i going to succeed ?

One day I reached my target and with a smile i stopped that moment !

In the following few months i occasionally accepted a cigar from one of friends to keep him company

and then one day i decided not to smoke anymore, not even occasionally. That all happened 6 years ago.

I can still accept other people smoking in my area, sometimes i enjoy and sometimes the smell

bothers me, but i am not complaining.

As for your husband, please let him decide for himself

[chiang mai]

Recommend he gets a health check and as a part of that process, have him take a CT 64 slice scan of his heart, not overly expensive - the resulting pictures will make anyone stop, seriously.