Fine For Breaking Engagement?

[dr_Pat_Pong]

Best policy for you here is to pay a $5,000 fine. Actually as you are a farang, $10,000 is a more appropriate figure. The family are clearly very important and you have made them lose face. This is a terrible sin in Thai culture and far more important than money. The payment of money is simply to show that you were in fact in the wrong. Reviewing my earlier statement, perhaps $20,000 would be nearer a truer figure. You should pay this immediately in cash and do not ask for a receipt as this would involve more loss of face. If you do not do this the girl's poor family will never show their face in public again.

No, I've discussed this issue with some very important Thais and the figure of $40,000 is the correct amount.

Send the money to Briggsy and I ... we'll settle it all for you.

[Sam125]

Why not send her a letter purporting to come from a close relative stating that you regret having to inform her that you have been killed in a road accident? This saves her face and she probably receiving a great deal of sympathy. If lying is part of the Thai way of life, use it to your advantage.

Perfect diplomatic solution!

[kangeroo]

She was not a bar girl. She was still a stundent and was only 18 when I first met her. One of my problems is our age difference. We are on total different wave links mentally.

i would say end it now and stop playing around with this relation ship . you say you dont want her so make it clear . before you can scratch your back side she will move on and have someone new .

cheers.

[ray23]

Ok lets see you want to dump the little college sweety and then go hang out with her family, you've got to be kidding. I wouldn't even try that one the states.

Look just live your life and make new friends your simply asking for to much.

[akatrain]

Ok lets see you want to dump the little college sweety and then go hang out with her family, you've got to be kidding. I wouldn't even try that one the states.

Look just live your life and make new friends your simply asking for to much.

Ok I get where youre comming from but I think it is totally possible to be friends with an ex as long as you split on decent terms. I didnt mean I want to hang out with her or her family all the time, I just meant that I didnt want to be on bad terms with them. I have no problem moving on. I just dont want drama with her or any relatives that I run into when I visit. Thankyou for your opinion and what you said is basicly what I have decided to do.

Atrain.

[blue eyes]

Ok lets see you want to dump the little college sweety and then go hang out with her family, you've got to be kidding. I wouldn't even try that one the states.

Look just live your life and make new friends your simply asking for to much.

Ok I get where youre comming from but I think it is totally possible to be friends with an ex as long as you split on decent terms. I didnt mean I want to hang out with her or her family all the time, I just meant that I didnt want to be on bad terms with them. I have no problem moving on. I just dont want drama with her or any relatives that I run into when I visit. Thankyou for your opinion and what you said is basicly what I have decided to do.

Atrain.

Do not forget this is Thailand and rural Thailand at that by what you have said.You are a westerner and you have just caused her and her family to lose face. You want to go and hang out with them?That will cause more lose of face.Maybe enough to get the family or a close friend to take care of the farang.Do not even think about being friends after what you have done.That is most likley the way they will look at it.Good luck!!!!

[rick75]

Misterbonk post #27, the girl that takes home the boyfriends many times a year, how does this work?, does the family not care about face and just happy to take the money, do the locals know she is a bargirl? and just accept that this is how she does business.

[bergen]

Misterbonk post #27, the girl that takes home the boyfriends many times a year, how does this work?, does the family not care about face and just happy to take the money, do the locals know she is a bargirl? and just accept that this is how she does business.

The locals will think of her as a smart business woman with many important customers, who bring wealth and opportunity to her family and village.

Edited June 4, 2008 by bergen

[Dave the Dude]

Misterbonk post #27, the girl that takes home the boyfriends many times a year, how does this work?, does the family not care about face and just happy to take the money, do the locals know she is a bargirl? and just accept that this is how she does business.

The locals will think of her as a smart business woman with many important customers, who bring wealth and opportunity to her family and village.

You are NOT wrong Mr Bergen and Mr Bonk. I live south of Surin and also know a Pattaya honey who does this regularly. And where is she now? back in ViceCity

Dave

Edited June 4, 2008 by Dave the Dude

[bergen]

Misterbonk post #27, the girl that takes home the boyfriends many times a year, how does this work?, does the family not care about face and just happy to take the money, do the locals know she is a bargirl? and just accept that this is how she does business.

The locals will think of her as a smart business woman with many important customers, who bring wealth and opportunity to her family and village.

You are NOT wrong Mr Bergen and Mr Bonk. I live south of Surin and also know a Pattaya honey who does this regularly. And where is she now? back in ViceCity

Dave

I know of one as well - and she bring them all (one at the time ) to our restaurant for food & drink!

[Bpraim1]

What you Thai visa be without you Berg

[rick75]

So is all this talk about face is a load of crap then, I would have thought based on Thai culture (or western) bringing home many boyfriends would be frowned upon.

[jay-uk]

I actually agree with Bergen in as much that a good Thai family would steer their daughter away from a life of vice. There is no losing face with famillies who want money from the daughters and her customers. There are girls who take guys back to meet mom and dad time and time again without any concern to what the rest of the village think. The village turn the other cheek and gossip about them behind close doors because the family with a daughter in pattaya is usually one of the famillies with more money than most who are just farmers alone.

[bergen]

I actually agree with Bergen in as much that a good Thai family would steer their daughter away from a life of vice. There is no losing face with famillies who want money from the daughters and her customers. There are girls who take guys back to meet mom and dad time and time again without any concern to what the rest of the village think. The village turn the other cheek and gossip about them behind close doors because the family with a daughter in pattaya is usually one of the famillies with more money than most who are just farmers alone.

Many local villagers - especially the older ones - don't know too many facts about what's going on outside their village.

The girls' families however would easily and proudly announce that their offspring works in hotels, restaurants or other, as managers, cashiers ............and so on.

In many cases - this is also what the family reckon to be the truth!

[Thaddeus]

I agree with that one Berg, but if they do know the truth it will never be discussed, and even so, there is a lot of gossiping going on behind there backs anyway.

But this thread has now gone way off it's original topic and is straying into the bg arena, maybe not a good idea.

[bergen]

I agree with that one Berg, but if they do know the truth it will never be discussed, and even so, there is a lot of gossiping going on behind there backs anyway.

But this thread has now gone way off it's original topic and is straying into the bg arena, maybe not a good idea.

Agree with Thaddeus - time to move on.....................................................

[Travel2003]

........but I think it is totally possible to be friends with an ex as long as you split on decent terms.

Nope.

Not in Thailand.

Especially if you get yourself a new girl friend, and if she is also Thai.

The new one will most likely have absolutely no understanding whatsoever why you still have contact and are friends with an x-girl friend.

Any connections with an x-gf means that you still like her on some level, which again can lead to deeper feelings.

Just cut the ties as smooth as possible.

[Thaddeus]

........but I think it is totally possible to be friends with an ex as long as you split on decent terms.

Nope.

Not in Thailand.

Especially if you get yourself a new girl friend, and if she is also Thai.

The new one will most likely have absolutely no understanding whatsoever why you still have contact and are friends with an x-girl friend.

Any connections with an x-gf means that you still like her on some level, which again can lead to deeper feelings.

Just cut the ties as smooth as possible.

Wise words .... and from personal experience, destroy all photographic evidence of any female that wasn't your mother.

[MISTERBONK]

Wise words .... and from personal experience, destroy all photographic evidence of any female that wasn't your mother.

Absolutely. If you don't, she will!

[bergen]

Wise words .... and from personal experience, destroy all photographic evidence of any female that wasn't your mother.

Absolutely. If you don't, she will!

99% right.................but when I lived in Norway, my Thai ex gf (married in Denmark) called, - had a 20 mins conversation with my wife - and they both agreed what a nice man a was (am)

[Thaddeus]

But I bet you wouldn't have left them alone together in the same room

[Travel2003]

Wise words .... and from personal experience, destroy all photographic evidence of any female that wasn't your mother.

Absolutely. If you don't, she will!

99% right.................but when I lived in Norway, my Thai ex gf (married in Denmark) called, - had a 20 mins conversation with my wife - and they both agreed what a nice man a was (am)

It can happen back home. Thats for sure.

My (Thai) wife found some old pictures of my x-gf, and wondered why in h... i still had them. She more or less forced me to destroy all evidence of any former gf's.

I scanned a few, and hid them in the computer, this because all people that have been a part of my life, is important to me. Then I destroyed all the (paper) pics, and she was happy again.

Edited June 7, 2008 by Travel2003

[jay-uk]

"It can happen back home. Thats for sure.

My (Thai) wife found some old pictures of my x-gf, and wondered why in h... i still had them. She more or less forced me to destroy all evidence of any former gf's.

I scanned a few, and hid them in the computer, this because all people that have been a part of my life, is important to me. Then I destroyed all the (paper) pics, and she was happy again."

better hope she's not reading your posts then.....

[jay-uk]

if i added any to my computer my wife would probably be peering over my shoulder one night without me knowing and catch me out. i don't have any pictures at all of my ex-gf's.......they are all at my mother house! ha ha

[Krub]

if i added any to my computer my wife would probably be peering over my shoulder one night without me knowing and catch me out. i don't have any pictures at all of my ex-gf's.......they are all at my mother house! ha ha

Same with me best safe place in the world !

Mamy's house !

[bergen]

Wise words .... and from personal experience, destroy all photographic evidence of any female that wasn't your mother.

Absolutely. If you don't, she will!

99% right.................but when I lived in Norway, my Thai ex gf (married in Denmark) called, - had a 20 mins conversation with my wife - and they both agreed what a nice man a was (am)

It can happen back home. Thats for sure.

My (Thai) wife found some old pictures of my x-gf, and wondered why in h... i still had them. She more or less forced me to destroy all evidence of any former gf's.

I scanned a few, and hid them in the computer, this because all people that have been a part of my life, is important to me. Then I destroyed all the (paper) pics, and she was happy again.

I have lots of pics (and Vdos) from the life before I met my wife. That does'nt bother her.

She's not interested in the past, - only in today and tomorrow........

And I second that

[Travel2003]

Wise words .... and from personal experience, destroy all photographic evidence of any female that wasn't your mother.

Absolutely. If you don't, she will!

99% right.................but when I lived in Norway, my Thai ex gf (married in Denmark) called, - had a 20 mins conversation with my wife - and they both agreed what a nice man a was (am)

It can happen back home. Thats for sure.

My (Thai) wife found some old pictures of my x-gf, and wondered why in h... i still had them. She more or less forced me to destroy all evidence of any former gf's.

I scanned a few, and hid them in the computer, this because all people that have been a part of my life, is important to me. Then I destroyed all the (paper) pics, and she was happy again.

I have lots of pics (and Vdos) from the life before I met my wife. That does'nt bother her.

She's not interested in the past, - only in today and tomorrow........

And I second that

I destroyed all the old videos.

hehe

[torrenova]

I actually agree with Bergen in as much that a good Thai family would steer their daughter away from a life of vice. There is no losing face with famillies who want money from the daughters and her customers. There are girls who take guys back to meet mom and dad time and time again without any concern to what the rest of the village think. The village turn the other cheek and gossip about them behind close doors because the family with a daughter in pattaya is usually one of the famillies with more money than most who are just farmers alone.

Many local villagers - especially the older ones - don't know too many facts about what's going on outside their village.

The girls' families however would easily and proudly announce that their offspring works in hotels, restaurants or other, as managers, cashiers ............and so on.

In many cases - this is also what the family reckon to be the truth!

Sorry but that is tosh. Whilst some of the older ones may not know too much about the big cities even the dumb ones know that a cashier who has not been to university does not earn 20k+ a month. Your argument is only substanciated by the fact that few send anything more than peanuts home no matter how much they earn. Usually it is just wasted as they cannot keep it in their pocket long enough to get to a bank and send it off.

[bergen]

I actually agree with Bergen in as much that a good Thai family would steer their daughter away from a life of vice. There is no losing face with famillies who want money from the daughters and her customers. There are girls who take guys back to meet mom and dad time and time again without any concern to what the rest of the village think. The village turn the other cheek and gossip about them behind close doors because the family with a daughter in pattaya is usually one of the famillies with more money than most who are just farmers alone.

Many local villagers - especially the older ones - don't know too many facts about what's going on outside their village.

The girls' families however would easily and proudly announce that their offspring works in hotels, restaurants or other, as managers, cashiers ............and so on.

In many cases - this is also what the family reckon to be the truth!

Sorry but that is tosh. Whilst some of the older ones may not know too much about the big cities even the dumb ones know that a cashier who has not been to university does not earn 20k+ a month. Your argument is only substanciated by the fact that few send anything more than peanuts home no matter how much they earn. Usually it is just wasted as they cannot keep it in their pocket long enough to get to a bank and send it off.

I said nothing about uni or 20k+ a month.

How ever I did suggest that many were regarded as smart business women