Off Shoot From The What Is The General Overseas Reputation Of Thailand Thread

[isabelle17]

For the record-I have never met a farang women who has payed for sex any where in the world. But I am sure in someplaces, it happens. Probably hear about it less than men paying for sex I am sure. But the fact is, that this is not what the topic is about.

I know..people are shocked when they here I went to Thailand, especially "all by myself." One man said to me "But there's terrorists there! It's too dangerous!"

I am pretty sure...he was thinking more about Indonesia...though there are the muslims in the deep south of Thailand...but I have not gone to that area of Thailand yet and really..it's amazing how people mix up other countries.

For awhile my friend thought I was going to Taiwan But I guess the general reaction I get is shock about how I am going there on my own, etc. My friends wish they could go with me though and my family...well...lets just say that they are okay with me going, but wish that I would stay the the states with them! Seems no matter how hard I try to explain to them that it just feels right living in Thailand, it still won't make much sense to them.

[kat]

well i have seen bar girls paying thai guys for sex.also how many bi-sexual girld have you seen getting off with bar girls,with or without hubbies.think some of you here wear cotton buds or refuse to admit its not guys,old and young,that play about.one poster said he has never known a lady to pay for sex,wow get from under that bush heheheheheh.only joking,you must be a 9-5 worker and dont get out much.

you are right girlx it is a topic and not guess who this is and put him like many farangs.i certainly dont have a chip on my shoulder,and how do you know if i have or havent got a farang gf/wife,or maybe i am gay or a katoy.you havent got a clue and attack for no reason.

anyway i am not here to speak about your stupid post i am hear to maybe make a documentary about the seedy side of thailand from a womens point.

Pure entertainment. Blizzard, is that you ..... ?

[icequeen]

Isabelle17, I am so glad other people get mixed up with countries aswel, I thought it was just my folks being weird!

When I went back to the UK in December some of my family were freaking out about a British man supposedly killed in Thailand. I hadn't seen anything on the internet so I investigated a bit more and found out they were actually talking about the Phillipines, how they confused this with Thailand I have no idea.

[desi]

After reading the "What is the general overseas reputation of Thailand" thread I came to a realization that I have never encountered any of these opinions on my return to the US.

I have only ever heard "Wow. that's so cool, what do you do there?". and when informed that I live in Thailand because my husband is Thai I get "That is so neat" . So, is it that Americans (I am in the West but not on the coast) have different perceptions or is it because I am a woman that I don't receive these responses (ie sex tourist assumptions)?

So,it made me curious as to what other ladies have experienced...

The responses usually start out with 'why are you there', followed by 'what do you do there' followed by 'that's great!'.

And like a previous poster, when I'm visiting friends in the US each year I'm usually introduced as the one who lives in Thailand. It's quite fun really.

And like you, I don't usually get the sex tourist response. Most of the people I know are either not aware of it, or they are too polite to bring it into conversation. My mother-in-law hints at dark things whenever I mention that I don't go out to business dinners with hubby (karaoke is not my thing), but that's about it.

In saying that ... I did have a long time male friend come out a few months ago. While here, he proceeded to avidly quiz me about the locations of all the smutty areas around Bangkok (couldn't help him). Sigh. How quickly hard earned respect can be lost. Bing. Gone. In a flash. And it's sad to know what his future holds (he's moving his family out here soon). I just hope I'm not around when / if it blows to the sky.

[autonomous_unit]

I hope my reply isn't off topic...

...when they introduce me to someone, "This is my friend, she lives in THAILAND!!" And yes when they find out that I am married to a Thai they are very intrigued...

That's usually been my experience as a guy going back to the US, among family and coworkers/business contacts. Nobody has abruptly mentioned the sex stereotypes though I've had a few suspicious pauses when the topic is accidentally introduced among strangers, for example when I am asked for ID and all I have is a passport (or Thai drivers license). The most direct nudge-nudge, wink-wink comments I've heard were from men en route to Thailand who falsely assumed I was going for the same reasons they were going.

I am curious to see how this thread goes as far as any women reporting experiences of the sex stereotyping. Is it possible that those reporting so far are self-selected to have contact with a different demographic in the west, compared to many of the men who suffer the heavy stereotyping?

My opinion of my hometown area of California dropped a peg over Christmas, when my wife went to the supermarket with my father for some last minute shopping, and they apparently encountered some hate-filled older woman who stunned my father with her weird accusations and curses towards my wife. It made me realize how different the academic/research/hi-tech circles I live in are versus general middle class suburbia. I am used to being the provincial, untraveled person in the group, rather than the most worldly one...

[teacup]

For me, never had bad experiences from the americans here in Wahington state so far.

"May be" because I don’t look like a typical thai - in their mind - (you know….dark straight hair or dark skin, flare nose, can’t speak English well, choice of clothing, or how she presents herself). I guess, due to my look and ability to form sentences in the English language, they just assume I’m half and half of something . In fact the only stereotyping I had got mostly were from our male clients (who had been to Thailand or who mostly have a thai GF or a thai wife)….. always asked my husband about me (how did you 2 meet, how long have we been married, where did I come from…..). We’re running architectural and engineering firm btw.

In general most people here are very nice, I only got annoyed by those male farangs who had been to Thailand before who mostly think that all thai girls over here are BG. What surprised me was their attitudes toward thai women in general (sort of looking down at them) even though they're with one or married to one!

[donna]

as ive been living away from 'home' for so long now, my friends are used to it. when i tell people that i live in asia, they are usually in awe and want to know why, how, and whats it like. many people are slightly envious, but i doubt that many would give up what they have in the west to go and live in asia.

[DaoDao]

Well, the reactions to me living in Thailand are like all of u describe, usually very possitive!

People do intend to ask when you will be comming back, most of them seem to think this is an adventure or one big holiday...

They want to know how I ended up in Thailand in the first place and when I tell them that my dad lives here [for 15 years now] I get the frown like: Oh I see and does he have a Thai gf..? [as in is he celebrating his midlifecrisis back there??] and then I tend to explain that he's with the same [lovely] thaiwoman [of his own age] for the last 12 years, for a while when I was still living in europe I didnt tell people I had a dad living there, because of the reactions...

The first years I went to Thailand, my friends back home always made the joke: 'Oh you might come back with a thai' and when I finally did they thought I was kidding

Edited June 4, 2008 by DaoDao

[Andiamo]

I hope my reply isn't off topic...

...when they introduce me to someone, "This is my friend, she lives in THAILAND!!" And yes when they find out that I am married to a Thai they are very intrigued...

That's usually been my experience as a guy going back to the US, among family and coworkers/business contacts. Nobody has abruptly mentioned the sex stereotypes though I've had a few suspicious pauses when the topic is accidentally introduced among strangers, for example when I am asked for ID and all I have is a passport (or Thai drivers license). The most direct nudge-nudge, wink-wink comments I've heard were from men en route to Thailand who falsely assumed I was going for the same reasons they were going.

I am curious to see how this thread goes as far as any women reporting experiences of the sex stereotyping. Is it possible that those reporting so far are self-selected to have contact with a different demographic in the west, compared to many of the men who suffer the heavy stereotyping?

My opinion of my hometown area of California dropped a peg over Christmas, when my wife went to the supermarket with my father for some last minute shopping, and they apparently encountered some hate-filled older woman who stunned my father with her weird accusations and curses towards my wife. It made me realize how different the academic/research/hi-tech circles I live in are versus general middle class suburbia. I am used to being the provincial, untraveled person in the group, rather than the most worldly one...

Hi autonomous_unit

Interesting post with your reflections. Could you clarify exactly what you mean above in red? I don't follow you re: self selected etc??

Thanks!

[autonomous_unit]

By self-selected, I meant a statistical bias in the groups reporting here versus on the male-oriented thread that started this discussion. Do the typical western men and women in Thailand come from (statistically/demographically) different social backgrounds back in the west? Perhaps the originating social circumstances which "create" female expats/wanderers are different than those for their male counterparts?

My experiences are often counter to what I see reported on these forums by other men. It makes me feel sometimes that I am from a different "west" and sometimes visiting a different "Thailand" entirely! But, other times there is a lot of commonality...

[sbk]

For me, never had bad experiences from the americans here in Wahington state so far.

"May be" because I don’t look like a typical thai - in their mind - (you know….dark straight hair or dark skin, flare nose, can’t speak English well, choice of clothing, or how she presents herself). I guess, due to my look and ability to form sentences in the English language, they just assume I’m half and half of something . In fact the only stereotyping I had got mostly were from our male clients (who had been to Thailand or who mostly have a thai GF or a thai wife)….. always asked my husband about me (how did you 2 meet, how long have we been married, where did I come from…..). We’re running architectural and engineering firm btw.

In general most people here are very nice, I only got annoyed by those male farangs who had been to Thailand before who mostly think that all thai girls over here are BG. What surprised me was their attitudes toward thai women in general (sort of looking down at them) even though they're with one or married to one!

thanks for your input teacup, your experience as a Thai woman overseas is just as relevant as a western woman living in Thailand. We are all female expats!

As for the thought that women who become expats are different than men who become expats, well I suspect it depends on what country you are living in.

[pinglady]

I've never had any negative reactions to the fact that I live in Thailand, but occasionally (female) thai friends in NZ have been subjected to stereotypes. I had a good friend who was an international student, a polite, hard-working middle-class Bangkokian in her early 20's. She confessed to me one day that the older male neighbour of her homestay used to give her a ride to the bus-stop occasionally, until one day he started asking her 'how much?' etc. I could see she was really shaken up by it, and I was very ashamed on behalf of NZ.

[happyhappyjoyjoy]

Oh yeah I get the other side of the sex stereo typing. My girl friends give me a great deal of sympathy. I, the forty year old (superhot) independent woman, not so cute or petite, having reasonable standards when it comes to men ie. must wash once a day, must be able to financially support themselves and must not frighten small children or dogs with their general appearance, so hence, I am of little interest to my brothers while in Siam. Why would they be, i dont giggle cutely when a man does something he should be embarrased for, I dont need someone to take me shopping and I get bored sitting in a sports bar.