Totally Confused After Having Unprotected Sex In A Spa Place

[Dakhar]

2 points:

1. Pregnancy: There are pills that can readily be bought at any pharmacy to be taken after sex in cases where contraception was not used ("morning after pills" -- common brand names Postinor and Madonna). Although it is recommended that they be taken within 72 hours of sex, recent research has shown that they still reduce the risk of pregnancy (altho not by as much) if taken within 2 weeks. So, if you think you can communicate all this to her and want to, it would be worth doing if as I gather it has only been a week. The catch of course being that you'd have to explain it all to her somehow and also she'd have to agree to take it.

These drugs are fairly safe if used on a one-time basis but absolutely should not be used as a regular means of birth control (forthe benefit of other readers).

2. HIV: there is an alternative to the 3 month wait if you don't mind paying for it. It's called a PCR test and can detect small quantities of the virus in the blood well before antibodies form. It'll cost yopu (rought guiess, maybe 15,000 -20,000 baht) but might well be worth it for the peace of mind.

Also, again for benefot of other readers, it is possible to substantially reduce the risk of HIV infection through what is called "Post Exposure Prophylaxis" (PEP), invovles taking abnti-retroviral drugs for about 6 weeks commencing as soon as possible after the exposure. Because of these drugs carry a high incidence of side effects (and can be very unpleasant as well as costly to take) not recommended in cases where the risk is probably small, but should be given consideratyion in cases where the risk is more considerable e.g. partner known to be HIV+ or very high suspicion of it. Some doctors have problems with the idea of prescribing it for people whose exposure was due to unsafe sex (it's most common use is to protect health professionals who suffered an accidental needle stick etc) but others are willing. In your particular case, given both the low level of risk and the time that has already elapsed, I wouldn't advise this, but it's a good thing for people to be aware of. PEP is also standard for rape victims in some places (not all, and there is ongoing debate on the pros and cons in cases where the rapist's HIV status is unknown and overall population prevalence not that high).

2 HIV testing...... the actual price ranges from 7K - 1.5+- for the PCR test. It depends where the test is done. There is a big research center in BKK that all the natives know about, near the "snake research center in BKK." The research center does HIV testing and other STD testing really cheap and it is co-funded with Austrialia. It is anomynous (sp). And there are many other locations that can hand this type of test, but I think it runs 7K at Bumungrad.

I feel for you.... but as the long timers have indicated, you are probably fine, she was a pro, and is not going to risk her profession on pregnancy. Learn you lesson, and get tested and move on. (I think the odds of getting HIV for a one time encounter with an HIV infected woman without any other STDs is 1-2000)

Wish you luck

[huggybear]

What I have concluded now based on all your posts is:

1) I will not attempt to reach her ever again ...............

.....which spa was this and which girl gave the special?

nice troll

[geriatrickid]

As a researcher for UNAIDS I thoroughly recommend the book "the wisdom of whores, bureaucrats, brothels, and the business of AIDS" by Elizabeth Pisani.

It contains quite a shocking reality as to the myths and lies we have been told until now to generate more money for HIV prevention.

You will find the research behind much of the information given here.

And the point was? The subject presenting in the forum was inquiring about the possibility of contracting an STI and HIV due to an intercourse event. The book does not question the science behind the mechanism of infection. The fact is that the cervix and the vagina shed the virus. Unprotected intercourse with an infected person puts one at risk for contracting HIV. Dr. Pisani does not discuss that subject. In her book promo (available on Youtube) she does state "HIV is mostly spread by people doing stupid things in search of pleasure". Yea, we know that, but people have been doing stupid things since the beginning of time.

If this was a book review column, I would say, yes, you are making a good suggestion, but jeez, like hello????

Dr. Pisani is an intelligent and well spoken epidemiologist. Her studies in classical chinese and medical demography as well as past work as a journalist are impressive. However, when it comes to subjects such as pathology, microbiology, and medicine she is not qualified to offer an authoritative opinion. She was primarily a data collector and processor, not a diagnostician, nor a health care provider. Her views are on prevention programs (abstinence vs. condoms, needle exchange programs etc.)

Her book which is in the process of release has already been excerpted in several publications and I have read a few. Some of her views are delightfully incendiary and will cause discomfort for Africans and do gooders in the west. I do agree with several of her views in respect to the mismanagement and the hijacking of funding. In fairness to her, the excerpts indicate that she does not dispute the science involved, but is merely providing her opinion of what the numbers say and how various interest groups twisted them for their own benefit. I think she's right on alot of subjects, but my friend who works with infectious diseases was frothing at the mouth after we discussed the subject and called me an ignorant ass when I expressed my agreement with several of the excerpted opinions. I can only imagine the reception Dr. Pisani will get on her book promotion tour this summer.

My impression is that Dr. Pisani is an advocate of enforced mandatory screening and isolation as practiced in Cuba and China. The faciast in me likes the idea, but the pragmatist in me realizes that her plan is not feasible in those countries not run as a police state. What she doesn't take into account (at least from the excerpts published) is just how she would fund a strategy that's a throw back to leper colonies and TB detention centers. She also fails to take into account that the success of containing the spread of HIV owes alot to the "hysteria" she so quickly dismisses. Nor does her treatise take into account the economic ramifications of HIV. As well, the position that the disease isn't as big a risk now because of the available medications ignores the fact that those medications are not available globally, are expensive and have serious adverse reactions attached to them. I note that she is not critical of the science of HIV, just the sociological management and political aspects of it. That being said, I am looking forward to reading her book once I can get a copy, and hopefully seeing her in Bali next October.

[OlRedEyes]

I wouldn't advise trying to give the OP too much peace of mind. Experiencing mental turmoil is very useful in learning some of life's lessons......

You seem to be very concerned about the risk of disease, and rightly so. However, seems to me you also pissed on your own doorstep. In the building where you live with your family. Never heard about the grapevine? For you and your family's sake, let's hope your wife doesn't already know about this.....

[Sheryl]

Thank you and well noted.

But, wearing condoms with my wife until I do the Hepatitis, HIV and syphilis test once again after 3-4 months is easier than confessing for now.

Is 3-4 months enough to really have the confidence of I being free from it after the tests above? any other test do you recommend apart from the 3? I do not wish to take any expensive tests for now but wait for a few months. How many? 4 months? for which tests?

Also, I have another question regarding the pregnancy thing. pardon my ignorance.

What if she forgot to take the contraceptive and eventually became pregnant. What choice does she have to get clear of the pregnancy? may be high Costs associated? may be it is too costly for her to do anything after the simple over the counter medicine. And, eventually my expecting the worst happens. Is it at all possible? or am i just being paranoid?

once again sorry for my ignorance as I have no clue of these things. I hope you guys have some supportive input on this.

If you normally use condoms with your wife then fine. The problem I was concerned with was that you might not in which case it would be hard to suddenly start doing so without raising suspicions. (Don't, however, underestimate the odds that your wife suspects something or will once she returns. Women have very acute radar for this type of thing. We're virtual mind-readers. Plus, as another poster mentioned, there's always the local grapevine).

Re testing...for HIV, a negative test at 3 months makes it very unlikely you were infected but there is still a small chance and you will be advise to repeat the test at month 6. If you have a PCR test that becomes unnecessary, but as mentioned, it's costly. In the case of Hepatitis B, since the test would be for antigen rather than antibody, a single test any time will suffice and the sooner the better. Usually they will test for both the antigen (sign of current infection) and antibodies (indication of past infecvtion) because if both are negative there is an effective vaccine you can get.

Re the pregnancy bit, read the pinned notice about Abortion in Thailand. The lady will have safe and legal options if she chooses to avail of them. Your problem, of course, is that you can't control what she may decide to do.

Odds are that you were far from her first customer and that the encounter with you is of little import to her and she'll leave you alone. But one can never totally predict these things.

Off topic a tad but GK, I too look forward to reading the book. From what you say I will strongly disagree with much of it, and it's not because some of the work I do is funded out of HIV prevention monies. It's because I have seen so much impressive behavioral change happen. Yes, people do stupid things, most especially in the area of sex, but people also have a pretty strong survival instinct. The places where there has not been success in changing behavuiors have been places where there has been an unsupportive policy environment and/or cultural limitations which constrained prevention efforts,. Sure, it's a gravy train, but along with the gravy a lot of solid and effective programs are implemented and a lot has been learned about what it takes to suceed, e.g. active involvement of the target groups, PLWHA etc. Cambodia being an excellent case in point.

[MrIrrisistable]

What excuse are you going to use with your wife for using a condom for the next 2 months ?

[Jockstar]

I think this thread has run its course. The OP has had advice from a few people. Up to him what he does next.