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THE MIRACLE OF TOILET PAPER

Fresh from my shower, I stand in front of the mirror complaining to my

husband that my breasts are too small.

Instead of characteristically telling me it's not so, he

uncharacteristically comes up with a suggestion:

'If you want your breasts to grow, then every day take a piece of

toilet paper and rub it between them for a few seconds'

Willing to try anything, I fetch a piece of toilet paper and stand in

front of the mirror, rubbing it between my breasts.

'How long will this take?' I asked.

'They will grow larger over a period of years,' my husband

replies.

I stopped. 'Do you really think rubbing a piece of toilet paper

between

my breasts every day will make my breasts larger over the years?'

Without missing a beat he says 'Worked for your arse, didn't it?'

He's still alive, and with a great deal of therapy, he may even walk

again, although he will probably continue to take his meals through a

straw.

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