Thief In Our Family

[Dave the Dude]

Hi

I don't need to be told things would be easier if I spoke Thai, as i am trying.

For some time now I have had suspicions about money going missing from my wallet when its left in a draw in our usually locked bedroom. It has always been one,two or three thousand Baht notes gone missing and NEVER all my money. Yesterday I caught the step-son virtually 'red handed' in our bedroom, with 2000b missing (again). After a feeble excuse why he was in there, he promptly shinned it out of his bedroom window and disappeared. His live-in girlfriend stayed alone that night.

Next morning, I find he had returned and upon me going ballistic (Very,very unusual for me BTW.I am a quiet non-violent type) I step back & let the wife deal with her 17 year old son. Within an hour the money had been returned and my Thai family expected that to be the end of this incident. To me, that was 'cast iron' evidence of his guilt and I told them all that I was off to get him arrested. I actually got out of the village for a well needed 'quiet time alone' to cool off. The family are all angry with him but to my amazement, his grandmother who lives next door is going to let him live 10 METRES away from my home, The 'Crime Scene.'

I just cannot get it into the family's brain that he needs to be shown a lesson and this is not just to satisfy my 'male dominant pride.' I honestly expected them to go live with her family now, which has happened once before. I cannot help think they came back to our home purely to plunder. I have taken away the keys to his brand new motorcy, which my wife has guaranteed for the repayments.

What do I do? Put up & shut up and give him YET another chance to redeem himself or what

DAVE (angry of Surin)

[mgjackson69]

That is a tough situation for you.

I had a similar situation a few years ago, one of my wife's nephews took a cell phone from me. I did not say too much, just expressed my anger and disappointment to my wife. She in turn chewed his ass for about 20 minutes, laying the guilt on pretty heavily about how now maybe I could not stay around because he caused me not to trust the family, etc etc etc.

After that was done, his mother whipped his ass bloody with a handy piece of bamboo.

Interestingly, his younger brother apologized profusely.

[meandwi]

Hi

I don't need to be told things would be easier if I spoke Thai, as i am trying.

For some time now I have had suspicions about money going missing from my wallet when its left in a draw in our usually locked bedroom. It has always been one,two or three thousand Baht notes gone missing and NEVER all my money. Yesterday I caught the step-son virtually 'red handed' in our bedroom, with 2000b missing (again). After a feeble excuse why he was in there, he promptly shinned it out of his bedroom window and disappeared. His live-in girlfriend stayed alone that night.

Next morning, I find he had returned and upon me going ballistic (Very,very unusual for me BTW.I am a quiet non-violent type) I step back & let the wife deal with her 17 year old son. Within an hour the money had been returned and my Thai family expected that to be the end of this incident. To me, that was 'cast iron' evidence of his guilt and I told them all that I was off to get him arrested. I actually got out of the village for a well needed 'quiet time alone' to cool off. The family are all angry with him but to my amazement, his grandmother who lives next door is going to let him live 10 METRES away from my home, The 'Crime Scene.'

I just cannot get it into the family's brain that he needs to be shown a lesson and this is not just to satisfy my 'male dominant pride.' I honestly expected them to go live with her family now, which has happened once before. I cannot help think they came back to our home purely to plunder. I have taken away the keys to his brand new motorcy, which my wife has guaranteed for the repayments.

What do I do? Put up & shut up and give him YET another chance to redeem himself or what

DAVE (angry of Surin)

Dave,

I'd offer him ways to make money by doing chores. Work with him to show how it is to be done and what is expected of him. This would stop the stealing and put money in his pocket. As for the bike, I'd make him clean it to perfection every night.

Be kind,

meandwi

[Dave the Dude]

Dave,

I'd offer him ways to make money by doing chores. Work with him to show how it is to be done and what is expected of him. This would stop the stealing and put money in his pocket. As for the bike, I'd make him clean it to perfection every night.

Be kind,

meandwi

Thank for the input meandwi

He works,doesn't drink most of the time so money (obtained HONESTLY) is not an issue, unless he is gambling, I do not know. My wife cannot see any reason why he should not have the new bike back as he is (HOPEFULLY) making the repayments and since she is the guarantor, I reluctantly agree with her.

We have a little mini-mart and live near to a Wat, so when one of the higher Monks called in, my wife had a word with him and then in-turn he spoke to the boy. Without 'blowing my own trumpet,' we both are well liked in the community and assist the local school/Wat & sponsor the village Football/netball/sebatikow teams. I am making a 'discerning effort of non-activity' (doing sweet F.A.) with regard to this matter right now in the hope that peer/family pressure will make him understand his wrong doing. In my mind he has not been 'punished' in any way.

I think I must make it clear that if any thieving goes on again, I will 'hog-tie' him and off to prison he goes. I hate living somewhere that everything has to be locked away in fear of theft. I left the UK for that reason

Dave (a little calmer now)

Edited August 17, 2008 by Dave the Dude

[slapout]

Dave; you dont mention if the 17 year old has a job or if he is living on hand outs for he and the girlfriend. You have the thief out of your house, loss of motorbike, if perment will give him a idea of conquences of theft (maybe) time will tell. People can be given a second chance if they prove they are making the effort to earn their way. Without knowing more details it sounds like you have a good start on turning him around if he is so inclined, and without police being involved. Move out, and loss of motorbike to cover the cash he took and did not return. Good luck

[Dave the Dude]

Dave; you dont mention if the 17 year old has a job or if he is living on hand outs for he and the girlfriend.

He works,doesn't drink most of the time so money (obtained HONESTLY) is not an issue, unless he is gambling, I do not know

You have the thief out of your house, loss of motorbike, if perment will give him a idea of conquences of theft (maybe) time will tell. People can be given a second chance

I have had suspicions about money going missing from my wallet when its left in a draw in our usually locked bedroom. It has always been one,two or three thousand Baht notes gone missing

if they prove they are making the effort to earn their way. Without knowing more details it sounds like you have a good start on turning him around if he is so inclined, and without police being involved. Move out, and loss of motorbike to cover the cash he took and did not return. Good luck

He has had too many second chances IMHO

Dave

[jimbob]

IMHO you need to deal with this in an "Asian" way as it is more about face than thievery:

Show deep disappointment of his actions in front of your wife and family.

You must keep your cool and not lose your temper as that will diminish your "power".

Make sure he knows what he did was shameful for him and disrespectful to you.

Tell him publicly that you forgive him for his actions.

Then explain if this happens again you will file a complaint with the Police and he will be responsible for causing the family public embarassment.

He may have had second chances in the past but this time the consequences will be clear to all involved.

This will make him responsible for the family's face and also put you in a dominant position while demonstrating you have a good heart but strong will.

Deal with it quickly and don't drag it out as that will reduce your power.

[rgs2001uk]

Hi

I don't need to be told things would be easier if I spoke Thai, as i am trying.

For some time now I have had suspicions about money going missing from my wallet when its left in a draw in our usually locked bedroom. It has always been one,two or three thousand Baht notes gone missing and NEVER all my money. Yesterday I caught the step-son virtually 'red handed' in our bedroom, with 2000b missing (again). After a feeble excuse why he was in there, he promptly shinned it out of his bedroom window and disappeared. His live-in girlfriend stayed alone that night.

Next morning, I find he had returned and upon me going ballistic (Very,very unusual for me BTW.I am a quiet non-violent type) I step back & let the wife deal with her 17 year old son. Within an hour the money had been returned and my Thai family expected that to be the end of this incident. To me, that was 'cast iron' evidence of his guilt and I told them all that I was off to get him arrested. I actually got out of the village for a well needed 'quiet time alone' to cool off. The family are all angry with him but to my amazement, his grandmother who lives next door is going to let him live 10 METRES away from my home, The 'Crime Scene.'

I just cannot get it into the family's brain that he needs to be shown a lesson and this is not just to satisfy my 'male dominant pride.' I honestly expected them to go live with her family now, which has happened once before. I cannot help think they came back to our home purely to plunder. I have taken away the keys to his brand new motorcy, which my wife has guaranteed for the repayments.

What do I do? Put up & shut up and give him YET another chance to redeem himself or what

DAVE (angry of Surin)

dave,

i honestly dont even know where to start, i know they do things a little different upcountry.

all i can say is you must have the patience of a saint, either that you are so laid back you must be almost horizontal.

pad lock on the door would have helped. good luck.

[toptuan]

IMHO you need to deal with this in an "Asian" way as it is more about face than thievery:

Show deep disappointment of his actions in front of your wife and family.

You must keep your cool and not lose your temper as that will diminish your "power".

Make sure he knows what he did was shameful for him and disrespectful to you.

Tell him publicly that you forgive him for his actions.

Then explain if this happens again you will file a complaint with the Police and he will be responsible for causing the family public embarassment.

He may have had second chances in the past but this time the consequences will be clear to all involved.

This will make him responsible for the family's face and also put you in a dominant position while demonstrating you have a good heart but strong will.

Deal with it quickly and don't drag it out as that will reduce your power.

Excellent advice, and culturally appropriate. You'll get more "bang for your buck" going this route than any other option.

[Dave the Dude]

IMHO you need to deal with this in an "Asian" way as it is more about face than thievery:

Show deep disappointment of his actions in front of your wife and family.

You must keep your cool and not lose your temper as that will diminish your "power".

Make sure he knows what he did was shameful for him and disrespectful to you.

Tell him publicly that you forgive him for his actions.

Then explain if this happens again you will file a complaint with the Police and he will be responsible for causing the family public embarassment.

He may have had second chances in the past but this time the consequences will be clear to all involved.

This will make him responsible for the family's face and also put you in a dominant position while demonstrating you have a good heart but strong will.

Deal with it quickly and don't drag it out as that will reduce your power.

Thanks for the advice Jimbob

I will act as suggested and make the way forward 'crystal clear.' Its funny, everybody tonight is being EXTRA friendly to me, so I think my message has got across.

RGS2001UK

You got me about right,mate. When you have gone thru the Sh!t that I have, my future seems very very happy. I consider 'my lot' to be a very happy & lucky one.

Dave

[Pushit]

Dave: Get a small safe and bolt it to the floor.

[mizzi39]

Dave: Get a small safe and bolt it to the floor.

I agree. I have a safe bolted to the floor in my bedroom next to our bed. My wife put a silk throw over it and we use the top as sort of an end table. Although I have never had anything stolen from me here in the LOS, we do keep a few baht of gold, plus some cash, important papers and documents, and other small valuables.

I know how you feel though. My ex girlfriends daughter who had a drug problem (in the states) used to lift money from me all the time. Since her mom did not have much control over her I decided to take responsibility for my own possessions, bought a safe, and kept my bedroom door locked. Problem solved. It may not help with the trust factor between you and your stepson which is a separate issue, but it should give you some piece of mind knowing that your possessions are secure. Good Luck!

[skippybangkok]

\What do I do? Put up & shut up and give him YET another chance to redeem himself

Lol, maybe take him for a piss test with the cops - have had many things stolen ( not family, but from staff ) , and 8/10 its to do with Ya Ba or other drugs.

Sad to say, after running a small business for quite some time, i kinda put worker level staff into the same bucket - Thieves. If they can steal it and sell it, they will.

Even when putting a few in jail, it does not deter the rest which are game.

Only solution it to make it bullet proof as possible ( i.e safe in ur case ).

Sad but true.

[torrenova]

Difficult call but I reckon it is for the elder family members to give him the bollocking with it being understood in no uncertain terms that any further breach of trust will result in the police being called and bugger to the face and family nonsense.

In essense, you would be giving the family the chance to act as police and sort him out. If they fail or don't care because you are not Thai then they have no face worth saving.

[Dave the Dude]

Difficult call but I reckon it is for the elder family members to give him the bollocking with it being understood in no uncertain terms that any further breach of trust will result in the police being called and bugger to the face and family nonsense.

In essense, you would be giving the family the chance to act as police and sort him out. If they fail or don't care because you are not Thai then they have no face worth saving.

Hi torrenova

You are right and that action has been taken. Bollockings from All family members and Its times like these, I thank myself for being a helpful,friendly chappie. Lad & G/F have moved into old grandmothers house next door and keeping a low profile is an understatement! He works & comes back but stays in friends house till everyone is in bed, then sneeks into bed. Last night they didnt bother coming here and stayed with her parents, which is my prefered option, Hoorah!

So, in a nutshell:-

family loss of 'face' & dishonour seems to be racking them with Guilt. GOOD!

I am not seen as angry or violent, just dis-respected.

I have ensured the WHOLE FAMILY understand that the next time he WILL be 'hog-tied', taken to the police station, for onward transit to some out-of-the-way prison

I have made contact with an 'associate' in the B.I.B. who can arrange the above.

WATCH THIS SPACE!

Dave

[Tyke]

Hi

I don't need to be told things would be easier if I spoke Thai, as i am trying.

For some time now I have had suspicions about money going missing from my wallet when its left in a draw in our usually locked bedroom. It has always been one,two or three thousand Baht notes gone missing and NEVER all my money. Yesterday I caught the step-son virtually 'red handed' in our bedroom, with 2000b missing (again). After a feeble excuse why he was in there, he promptly shinned it out of his bedroom window and disappeared. His live-in girlfriend stayed alone that night.

Next morning, I find he had returned and upon me going ballistic (Very,very unusual for me BTW.I am a quiet non-violent type) I step back & let the wife deal with her 17 year old son. Within an hour the money had been returned and my Thai family expected that to be the end of this incident. To me, that was 'cast iron' evidence of his guilt and I told them all that I was off to get him arrested. I actually got out of the village for a well needed 'quiet time alone' to cool off. The family are all angry with him but to my amazement, his grandmother who lives next door is going to let him live 10 METRES away from my home, The 'Crime Scene.'

I just cannot get it into the family's brain that he needs to be shown a lesson and this is not just to satisfy my 'male dominant pride.' I honestly expected them to go live with her family now, which has happened once before. I cannot help think they came back to our home purely to plunder. I have taken away the keys to his brand new motorcy, which my wife has guaranteed for the repayments.

What do I do? Put up & shut up and give him YET another chance to redeem himself or what

DAVE (angry of Surin)

What are you doing putting a Thai kid in the way of temptation in the first place? How come you are leaving valuables around like that - you are just asking for trouble. Never mind about honesty etc, it is largely your fault and i would correct that before getting him carted off to the police.

[Dave the Dude]

Hi

I don't need to be told things would be easier if I spoke Thai, as i am trying.

For some time now I have had suspicions about money going missing from my wallet when its left in a draw in our usually locked bedroom. It has always been one,two or three thousand Baht notes gone missing and NEVER all my money. Yesterday I caught the step-son virtually 'red handed' in our bedroom, with 2000b missing (again). After a feeble excuse why he was in there, he promptly shinned it out of his bedroom window and disappeared. His live-in girlfriend stayed alone that night.

Next morning, I find he had returned and upon me going ballistic (Very,very unusual for me BTW.I am a quiet non-violent type) I step back & let the wife deal with her 17 year old son. Within an hour the money had been returned and my Thai family expected that to be the end of this incident. To me, that was 'cast iron' evidence of his guilt and I told them all that I was off to get him arrested. I actually got out of the village for a well needed 'quiet time alone' to cool off. The family are all angry with him but to my amazement, his grandmother who lives next door is going to let him live 10 METRES away from my home, The 'Crime Scene.'

I just cannot get it into the family's brain that he needs to be shown a lesson and this is not just to satisfy my 'male dominant pride.' I honestly expected them to go live with her family now, which has happened once before. I cannot help think they came back to our home purely to plunder. I have taken away the keys to his brand new motorcy, which my wife has guaranteed for the repayments.

What do I do? Put up & shut up and give him YET another chance to redeem himself or what

DAVE (angry of Surin)

What are you doing putting a Thai kid in the way of temptation in the first place? How come you are leaving valuables around like that - you are just asking for trouble. Never mind about honesty etc, it is largely your fault and i would correct that before getting him carted off to the police.

Sorry mate but I think you are talking utter <deleted>.

If temptation is an always closed bedroom door and a normally LOCKED ONE. Then I feel sorry for the surrounding/country you have been dragged up in. I accept it may not be appropriate in Thailand but I believe most people to be innocent/good before judging them as thieving b@stards. I do not own anything 'valuable' as you describe it, as I am living a happy but poor life. My wallet was not left for all to see and apart from it being in a room where no-one other than my wife or me need to go into, it was also 'hidden' in a draw!

Have you ever thought about becoming a Social Worker or Peace Corp Do-gooder, I think you would fit the bill nicely.

Dave

p.s. Reality Injections are also available and if you need any REAL problems, I can happily provide them.

[JUDAS]

Tyke. What utter drivel. Your post suggests that if things are nailed down it's almost to be expected that they get stolen because of the temptation. Dave is talking about a family member stealing from him not some complete stranger burgling his home. What a world it would be if we had to hide all our valuables away from our wife, kids etc!!

BTW Dave, sounds like you got things fairly under control. Good luck.

[torrenova]

What are you doing putting a Thai kid in the way of temptation in the first place? How come you are leaving valuables around like that - you are just asking for trouble. Never mind about honesty etc, it is largely your fault and i would correct that before getting him carted off to the police.

What tosh !

Whilst many Thais are thieving robbing bastards, why must that line be brought into the family home when it is better served for government ?

[t.s]

Hi

I don't need to be told things would be easier if I spoke Thai, as i am trying.

For some time now I have had suspicions about money going missing from my wallet when its left in a draw in our usually locked bedroom. It has always been one,two or three thousand Baht notes gone missing and NEVER all my money. Yesterday I caught the step-son virtually 'red handed' in our bedroom, with 2000b missing (again). After a feeble excuse why he was in there, he promptly shinned it out of his bedroom window and disappeared. His live-in girlfriend stayed alone that night.

Next morning, I find he had returned and upon me going ballistic (Very,very unusual for me BTW.I am a quiet non-violent type) I step back & let the wife deal with her 17 year old son. Within an hour the money had been returned and my Thai family expected that to be the end of this incident. To me, that was 'cast iron' evidence of his guilt and I told them all that I was off to get him arrested. I actually got out of the village for a well needed 'quiet time alone' to cool off. The family are all angry with him but to my amazement, his grandmother who lives next door is going to let him live 10 METRES away from my home, The 'Crime Scene.'

I just cannot get it into the family's brain that he needs to be shown a lesson and this is not just to satisfy my 'male dominant pride.' I honestly expected them to go live with her family now, which has happened once before. I cannot help think they came back to our home purely to plunder. I have taken away the keys to his brand new motorcy, which my wife has guaranteed for the repayments.

What do I do? Put up & shut up and give him YET another chance to redeem himself or what

DAVE (angry of Surin)

What are you doing putting a Thai kid in the way of temptation in the first place? How come you are leaving valuables around like that - you are just asking for trouble. Never mind about honesty etc, it is largely your fault and i would correct that before getting him carted off to the police.

um because its his home?

how do you live in your own home?

do you padlock your tv everynight, place your wallet in a timelock safe that doesn't open until morning and let the rottweilers loose to patrol the hallways?

what a load of apologist <deleted>

[gymshark]

What are you doing putting a Thai kid in the way of temptation in the first place? How come you are leaving valuables around like that - you are just asking for trouble. Never mind about honesty etc, it is largely your fault and i would correct that before getting him carted off to the police.

That's hilarious mate, the kid needs a dry slap and you are a mad man

[mrtoad]

What are you doing putting a Thai kid in the way of temptation in the first place? How come you are leaving valuables around like that - you are just asking for trouble. Never mind about honesty etc, it is largely your fault and i would correct that before getting him carted off to the police.

I've seen some nonsense posted on this board over the years, but this one has to be in the top one. Utter <deleted>.

Edited August 25, 2008 by mrtoad

[scyriacus]

...you need to deal with this in an "Asian" way as it is more about face than thievery:

Show deep disappointment of his actions in front of your wife and family.

You must keep your cool and not lose your temper .....

Make sure he knows what he did was shameful for him and disrespectful to you.

Tell him publicly that you forgive him for his actions.

Then explain if this happens again you will file a complaint with the Police and he will be responsible for causing the family public embarassment.

He may have had second chances in the past but this time the consequences will be clear to all involved.

This will make him responsible for the family's face and also put you in a dominant position while demonstrating you have a good heart but strong will.

Deal with it quickly and don't drag it out....

jimbob, thank you very much for your sensitive comment. you really do know the thai soul and obviously like them people and peace. thank you

[gymshark]

Sounds like a good plan. Do that.

Then take him round the back where no one is looking and....... you guessed it....... Slap !

[DB84]

What is it with Thais and stealing money, had a friend who caught his girl relieving him of some money recently. She's a "good girl" coming from a decent family. I am aware of the "saving face" part of it for them but what ever happened to putting good old honesty before criminal acts.

Although I'm actually surprised you didn't end up with a machete lodged in your back - courtesy of the family after leaving to report incident to the police

[OxfordWill]

Its a shame that the only post with an effective suggestion has been almost entirely ignored in favour of "hog tie"-ing. The kid is just 17! Like you never made any mistakes at that age (repeatedly).

[Dave the Dude]

Its a shame that the only post with an effective suggestion has been almost entirely ignored in favour of "hog tie"-ing. The kid is just 17! Like you never made any mistakes at that age (repeatedly).

Hi Will

You are right, I made loads of stupid 'mistakes' as a kid and I bet your still making them but I do not class repeatedly stealing from your parents as a stupid childish 'mistake,' Sorry. I would have got a 'Gymshark' type slap. Anyways at 17, I was a cashier in a London Bank so that would have been the place to nick cash.

Please note that no type of physical violence has been given to this kid and other than 'banishing' him from our home, I have left the matter to be dealt with by his Thai family, as suggested. Every other person I talk to cannot believe I did not do as Gymshark suggests !

Dave

[OxfordWill]

They were probably all western too! 17 thai male does not equal 17 western male. think more like 14 year old western male. Mental age of the kid who delivers your morning paper back home.

My partners adopted brother consistently stole from their family over a period of 5 years, it took 5 years for the family to refuse to allow him to live with them any more. 5 years of trying to help him change- and not even a blood relative. YMMV.

[ozzydom]

You have my utmost sympathy Dave,and my advise is ,nip the problem in the bud before it goes much further or you will probably live to regret it.

I know I am.

I came on the scene when my stepson was 17 y.o and by that age he was wearing out his welcome with many of his family, nobody was safe from his light fingers, he didnt try to conceal the thefts because he would take everything anybody had ,whether it was 10 baht or 10k baht, he even stole the families sticky rice stock that was to feed them for the year and sold it.

I have never been allowed to intervene,the whole family have been adamant that I as a farang had to stay out of it , only Thais know how to handle their kids, in other words I can feed and clothe him but cannot even chastise him when he steals directly from me.

Anyway at age 19 T/W decided to get the local police to ship him off to a discipline establishment at Sakhon Nakhon to see if they could straighten him out.

They failed dismally and here we are now he is a 23 y.o who is either stoned or drunk 95% of the time, still stealing, refuses to work, and worst of all is back living here on the farm.

He is living in the casa I built as a sales office , still eating my food and refuses to work or leave unless I cross his palm with 10k,so he is effectively trying to be as big a pain in the butt in the hope he can blackmail us into giving into his demands.

That is out of the question as he would blow it in a week and be back.

My nerves are shot ,I have had him by the throat ready to do him in big-time but family members dragged me off him.

Yesterday a lady and her little girl came to buy fish,she was 50m ahead of me going to the sales office and she turned around and went back past muttering in Thai,I thought she had forgotten her money or some such ,till I got to the casa and here is the stepson laying on the ground naked except for underwear around his ankles ,he was completely spaced out screaming and yelling ,could not even scratch himself.

Well I flipped , I bounced one of my steel caps of his ribs then threw the 50kg heap of garbage in the pond and walked off hoping he would drown, unluckily the water is less than a metre deep right there and he somehow got out.

I spent the next few hours working in the duck compound until , i get a visit from the BiB ,

Evidentally he found his way to the abode of one of his fellow local drunks,where they called the BiB,s . He was demanding 100k for my belting him up.

The senior copper was rolling his eyes at me while he was telling me of the demands ,all the time stepson still could not stand up, and when he started screaming again one of the police told him to shut up and mentioned ya ba..

The long and short of it was, I told the BiB that we had not seen him since the day before and as I was smarter this time and I did not mark him, that plus no witnesses , so the BiB told stepson to go to Bangkok quicksmart or they will throw him in jail.

He is still here,so I asked T.W when he is off to Bangkok , all I got was ,"he ok today ,he no drink" which translated means "I cant kick my son out" so It has come down to either he goes or I go and the deadline is Monday.

We shall see.

[Dave the Dude]

You have my utmost sympathy Dave,and my advise is ,nip the problem in the bud before it goes much further or you will probably live to regret it.

I know I am.

I came on the scene when my stepson was 17 y.o and by that age he was wearing out his welcome with many of his family, nobody was safe from his light fingers, he didnt try to conceal the thefts because he would take everything anybody had ,whether it was 10 baht or 10k baht, he even stole the families sticky rice stock that was to feed them for the year and sold it.

I have never been allowed to intervene,the whole family have been adamant that I as a farang had to stay out of it , only Thais know how to handle their kids, in other words I can feed and clothe him but cannot even chastise him when he steals directly from me.

Anyway at age 19 T/W decided to get the local police to ship him off to a discipline establishment at Sakhon Nakhon to see if they could straighten him out.

They failed dismally and here we are now he is a 23 y.o who is either stoned or drunk 95% of the time, still stealing, refuses to work, and worst of all is back living here on the farm.

He is living in the casa I built as a sales office , still eating my food and refuses to work or leave unless I cross his palm with 10k,so he is effectively trying to be as big a pain in the butt in the hope he can blackmail us into giving into his demands.

That is out of the question as he would blow it in a week and be back.

My nerves are shot ,I have had him by the throat ready to do him in big-time but family members dragged me off him.

Yesterday a lady and her little girl came to buy fish,she was 50m ahead of me going to the sales office and she turned around and went back past muttering in Thai,I thought she had forgotten her money or some such ,till I got to the casa and here is the stepson laying on the ground naked except for underwear around his ankles ,he was completely spaced out screaming and yelling ,could not even scratch himself.

Well I flipped , I bounced one of my steel caps of his ribs then threw the 50kg heap of garbage in the pond and walked off hoping he would drown, unluckily the water is less than a metre deep right there and he somehow got out.

I spent the next few hours working in the duck compound until , i get a visit from the BiB ,

Evidentally he found his way to the abode of one of his fellow local drunks,where they called the BiB,s . He was demanding 100k for my belting him up.

The senior copper was rolling his eyes at me while he was telling me of the demands ,all the time stepson still could not stand up, and when he started screaming again one of the police told him to shut up and mentioned ya ba..

The long and short of it was, I told the BiB that we had not seen him since the day before and as I was smarter this time and I did not mark him, that plus no witnesses , so the BiB told stepson to go to Bangkok quicksmart or they will throw him in jail.

He is still here,so I asked T.W when he is off to Bangkok , all I got was ,"he ok today ,he no drink" which translated means "I cant kick my son out" so It has come down to either he goes or I go and the deadline is Monday.

We shall see.

F. sake Oz

You are are being treated to emotional blackmail. I am truly so sorry for your 'lot'. This guy needs a reality check, work means money means you can buy things. No work no money, therefore no drink/drugs, simple. I think this guy needs help ASAP too,even if it is incarceration. He has got the sense to try to get you busted, so he will have the sense to be busted, me thinks

F*cking hard decisions but you(& your wife) cannot go on living this hel_l. You both need to understand what must be done.

Dave