2012 London Olympic Committee Stands Firm!

[jkinbkk]

After an impressive opening and closing Olympic ceremony from Beijing, and doubts raised as to whether or not London can follow such a performance in 2012, the London Olympic Committee stand firmly behind it's original programme scheduled for the opening ceremony of the London Olympics in 4 years time.

A spokes person said, "The moment London won the bid we made a massive investment and commitment to our rehearsal programme to ensure a 'show stopping performance' fit for the World stage"

Additionally, to halt any further rumours of doubt spreading Professor Goodman of the London Olympic Committee PR Office has personally taken it upon himself to invite select members of the World Press to a sneak preview of the opening ceremony rehearsals at a secret sound stage location in Kent.

To view a part of these rehearsals follow the link below:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BUUGOD8yR1Q...feature=related

[pampal]

It's still 4 years away, so they'll have enough time to tweak it anyway they want

[PhilHarries]

Well they've admitted that they aren't even going to try and outdo the Chinese on the opening ceremony but surely the Olympics are supposed to be about the sports and the men and women competing. Hordes of flag waving automatons leaping around and megabuck firework displays are not in tune with the ideals of the event. It should be more about the individuals and less about nationalistic tub thumping attempting to showcase one nation over all others.

Anyway I just hope they get all the infrastructure in place and it all goes smoothly.

[LeungKen]

Events to be staged at 2012 London Olympics will include the following :-

OPENING CEREMONY

The flame will be ignited by a petrol bomb thrown by a native of the area in the traditional dress of balaclava and shell suit. The flame will be contained in a large overturned police van situated on the roof of the stadium.

THE EVENTS

In previous Olympic Games, East London's competitors have not been particularly successful. In order to redress the balance, some of the events have been altered slightly to the advantage of local athletes.

100 METRES SPRINT

Competitors will have to hold a DVD player and microwave oven (one in each arm) and on the sound of the starting pistol, a police dog will be released from a cage 10 yards behind the athletes.

110 METRES HURDLES

As above but with added obstacles (i.e. car bonnets, hedges, garden fences, walls etc)

HAMMER

Competitors in this event may choose the type of hammer they wish to use (claw, sledge etc) the winner will be the one who can cause the most physical damage within three attempts.

FENCING

Entrants will be asked to dispose of as many stolen goods as possible in 5 minutes.

SHOOTING

A strong challenge is expected from local men in this event. The first target will be a moving police van. In the second round, competitors will aim at a post office clerk, bank teller or Securicor-style wages deliveryman. The traditional .22 rifle has been replaced in this event by a choice of either a Browning automatic handgun or sawn-off 12-bore shotgun.

BOXING

Entry to the boxing will be restricted to husband and wife teams, and will take place on a Friday night. The husband will be given 15 pints of lager while the wife will be told not to make him any tea when he gets home. The bout will then commence.

CYCLING TIME TRIALS

Competitors will be asked to break into the University bike shed and take an expensive mountain bike owned by some mummy's boy on his first trip away from home. All against the clock.

CYCLING PURSUIT

As above, but the bike will be owned by a visiting member of the Australian rugby team, who will witness the theft.

MODERN PENTATHLON

Amended to include mugging, breaking and entering, flashing, joyriding and arson.

SWIMMING EVENTS

All waterways are currently being tested for toxicity levels, once one is found that can support human life, swimming events will be organised, please note that the Synchronised Swimming event for this year will comprise of dropping acid and watching all the funky ripples on the pool, the specific musical support to this event will be provided by "The Verve."

THE MARATHON

A safe route has yet to be decided.

MEN'S 50KM WALK

Unfortunately this will have to be cancelled as the police cannot guarantee the safety of anyone walking the streets of East London, especially anyone that appears to be... mincing

THE CLOSING CEREMONY

Entertainment will include formation rave dancing by members of the Stratford Health in the Community anti-drug campaigners, synchronised rock throwing, and music by the Ilford community choir. The flame will be extinguished by police riot water cannon following the inevitable pitch invasion by confused West Ham organised hooliganism club. The stadium itself will then be boarded up before the local athletes break into it and remove all the copper piping and the central heating boiler

[lazeeboy]

After an impressive opening and closing Olympic ceremony from Beijing, and doubts raised as to whether or not London can follow such a performance in 2012, the London Olympic Committee stand firmly behind it's original programme scheduled for the opening ceremony of the London Olympics in 4 years time.

A spokes person said, "The moment London won the bid we made a massive investment and commitment to our rehearsal programme to ensure a 'show stopping performance' fit for the World stage"

Additionally, to halt any further rumours of doubt spreading Professor Goodman of the London Olympic Committee PR Office has personally taken it upon himself to invite select members of the World Press to a sneak preview of the opening ceremony rehearsals at a secret sound stage location in Kent.

To view a part of these rehearsals follow the link below:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BUUGOD8yR1Q...feature=related

every olympics has top the previous one ,london will do just fine

[dotcom]

They should just hire the North Koreans to do some syncronized dancing or whatever it's called.

[Zpete]

WHY, have an opening CEREMONY?

Just get all the athletes on the field/stadium.

Announce.....

Welcome all.

Let the games begin.

Now nik off and get on with it.

Closing ceremony....

Thanks for competeing.

Now psssss orf.

CYA in 4 years where ever.

Think of the dosh being saved.

Edited August 28, 2008 by Zpete