The farmer said, "I took her left leg and tied it to the post on the left. Well, I sat back down and continued to milk her. Just as I got the bucket 'bout full, she took her right leg and kicked over the bucket... Some things you just can't explain."

"So, what did you do then?" the man asked. "I took her right leg this time and tied it to the post on the right. Well, I sat back down and began milking her again. Just as I got the bucket about full, the stupid cow knocked over the bucket with her tail."

"Well," the farmer said, "I didn't have anymore rope, so I took off my trouser belt and tied her tail to the rafter...

...In that moment, my pants fell down and my wife walked in . . . Some things you just can't explain."

Related video:

http://www.riddleme.com/html/cow2.html

A young man stopped at a local restaurant after a day of roaming around in Mexico.

While sipping his tequila, he noticed a sizzling, scrumptious-looking platter being served at the next table.

It looked good.

It smelled good.

He asked the waiter, "What is that you just served?"

The waiter replied, "Ah senor, you have excellent taste! Those are bull's testicles from the bull fight this morning. A delicacy!"

The visitor, though momentarily daunted, said, "What the heck, I'm on holiday down here! Bring me an order!"

The waiter replied, "I am so sorry senor. There is only one serving per day because there is only one bull fight each morning. If you come early tomorrow and place your order, we will be sure to save you this delicacy!"

The next morning, the man returned, placed his order, and then that evening was served the one and only special delicacy of the day.

After a few bites, and inspecting the contents of his platter, he called to the waiter and said, "These are delicious, but they are much, much smaller than the ones I saw you serve yesterday!"

The waiter shrugged his shoulders and replied, "Si, Senor. Sometimes the bull wins."

And a little clarification,

Suffolk Born, Suffolk Bred,

Strong in the arm, and weak in the head!

I like Cider,

and when i like cider

I drink cider,

And when i drink cider,

I get wider,

And when i get wider,

I Fart !!!!!!

Well. Lickey my son. I sent a fanatasic couple of years in the West Country a long time ago and the cider quote was a little different. At my beer and skittle nights the saying was:

I likes zider

Becoz it makes I fart

An' when I's fart

I's know I's 'ealthy