Thai Weddings

[trifle]

Hi there. Can someone help me with the subject of Thai weddings. How much to pay? My Thai girlfriend is 33years old with one child and is talking about a cost of 100,000 baht for a wedding the price to include Sin Sod..Thanks Trifle

[tommyj4]

Suggest getting married legally first without the party. Have the ceremony later, if she refuses, ask why....100,000 seems to be the norm for guys that pay but it dosnt give you any leagal rights.

[dee123]

....Sinsod doesn't apply to farang's....cause when you are in a position to receive it ....i.e you are the father/mother in law you don't get a bean......and as your not allowed to own land in Thailand...you ain't gonna get a bean back!!.......see my piont ?......unless you can take a buffalo back home on a Boieng 747.....

Edited October 1, 2008 by dee123

[mgjackson69]

Since she has a child, you would be obligated to pay no sinsod. That is not to say that you should pay nothing. The sinsod is not about buying the daughter, it is showing your willingness and ability to support her, and to help her family.

There is no set amount. If your prospective wife is telling you an amount, that is what she figures it will take to make a good show. And if your in-laws are jai dee, they might even turn around and give the sinsod back to you, later...it is about show for them as well as their daughter.

Mine worked out to about 300,000...but it was paying off the wife's house, and taking care of some other financial matters for Mom.

Thus far we have not had the "auspicious wedding" ceremony in the village...we might do that later, maybe not.

The costs of the wedding and the party come from the sinsod.

[G54]

Get married legally? Sounds a bit over the top when you can have the party version.

100,000 is not a lot for a marriage when it includes the party too.

A lot depends on how many tables you are paying for. An average of 6 people per table. The price of a table varies so you need to ask how much per table. That gives you a very good idea how much of the 100,000 is for the guests. Then there is the cost of the music and other items to be taken into account.

Often plates, dishes and other utensils are hired from the local temple at a small cost.

You will need to pay for the monks to attend. More monks = more money

The dress is often hired for the wedding. Your suit can also be hired.

Photos. Usually you will go to a studio to have these taken. The photo you choose from those taken will be framed and be the one displayed on the trestle for all to see. This photo is then kept.

There will likely be the cost of the bride having her hair and make up done. This may be done by the family but if done by a hair studio then factor that into the costs too.

There will likely be the Baht gold and that has to be bought in 2/4/8 etc .

I have missed a few things out in the costs because I cannot remember all the items involved.

IMHO not to pay 'some' sin sot seems mean minded but that is up to each individual.

Therefore when you factor in the costs above and those I have forgotten you will see you are not paying a large amount for Sin Sot.

PS.

If you go ahead. All the best.

Edited October 2, 2008 by G54

[tommyj4]

"Get married legally? Sounds a bit over the top when you can have the party version."

To test if the girl really wants you....more than one oncassion I have had girls want to marry for the sin sod but when confronted with the idea of a legal marriage suddenly they arnt interested

[trifle]

Suggest getting married legally first without the party. Have the ceremony later, if she refuses, ask why....100,000 seems to be the norm for guys that pay but it dosnt give you any leagal rights.

Thanks for your help. trifle

[trifle]

Get married legally? Sounds a bit over the top when you can have the party version.

100,000 is not a lot for a marriage when it includes the party too.

A lot depends on how many tables you are paying for. An average of 6 people per table. The price of a table varies so you need to ask how much per table. That gives you a very good idea how much of the 100,000 is for the guests. Then there is the cost of the music and other items to be taken into account.

Often plates, dishes and other utensils are hired from the local temple at a small cost.

You will need to pay for the monks to attend. More monks = more money

The dress is often hired for the wedding. Your suit can also be hired.

Photos. Usually you will go to a studio to have these taken. The photo you choose from those taken will be framed and be the one displayed on the trestle for all to see. This photo is then kept.

There will likely be the cost of the bride having her hair and make up done. This may be done by the family but if done by a hair studio then factor that into the costs too.

There will likely be the Baht gold and that has to be bought in 2/4/8 etc .

I have missed a few things out in the costs because I cannot remember all the items involved.

IMHO not to pay 'some' sin sot seems mean minded but that is up to each individual.

Therefore when you factor in the costs above and those I have forgotten you will see you are not paying a large amount for Sin Sot.

PS.

If you go ahead. All the best.

Thanks a lot for your help. At the moment i am in UK. What documents will I need for the Thai Embassy in Bangkok when i arrive to Thailand Feb 2009 Thanks Trifle

[trifle]

Since she has a child, you would be obligated to pay no sinsod. That is not to say that you should pay nothing. The sinsod is not about buying the daughter, it is showing your willingness and ability to support her, and to help her family.

There is no set amount. If your prospective wife is telling you an amount, that is what she figures it will take to make a good show. And if your in-laws are jai dee, they might even turn around and give the sinsod back to you, later...it is about show for them as well as their daughter.

Mine worked out to about 300,000...but it was paying off the wife's house, and taking care of some other financial matters for Mom.

Thus far we have not had the "auspicious wedding" ceremony in the village...we might do that later, maybe not.

The costs of the wedding and the party come from the sinsod.

Thanks for your help. Trifle

[Shotime]

"......cost of 100,000 baht for a wedding the price to include Sin Sod."

Does it include water and electric?

[G54]

Trifle, you ask what documents you will need for the Embassy In BKK. In what respect are you referring to documents? If for a marriage - none unless you are getting 'legally married'.

Do not forget that most marriages are simply a 'party' to show you and the lady in question are married [same as living together in the UK]. Also the party shows the parents have 'given' consent for you and their daughter to live as man and wife. This makes the relationship appropriate in the eyes of family and villagers.

[trifle]

Trifle, you ask what documents you will need for the Embassy In BKK. In what respect are you referring to documents? If for a marriage - none unless you are getting 'legally married'.

Do not forget that most marriages are simply a 'party' to show you and the lady in question are married [same as living together in the UK]. Also the party shows the parents have 'given' consent for you and their daughter to live as man and wife. This makes the relationship appropriate in the eyes of family and villagers.

Hi there. I expect I will have to produce documents such as passport and birth certificate. Are there any other documents that I will need. Also what documents does my girlfriend have to show. Also is it better to use an Agency ( like a friend did) to organise the Embassy side of things or do it myself. Thanks Trifle

[gobs]

Hi Triffle!

As says G54... In the daily language in LOS, you have two meanings for marriage...

So you have to know (maybe from your GF) if you are speaking of the "real" legal marriage, in this case, yes you need some papers, or if it is the "socialising" marriage party (as explains G54) for family, relatives, villagers and so on, in which case you need NO official papers...

Please tell which one, to have the right answer.

Cheers and congratulation!

[Mario2008]

To get married you should contact your embassy. They have to certify that you are allowed to get married and will give you a document stating that. Each embassy has it's own rules as to what they require to issue such a letter. Once you have the letter you have to get it translated into Thai and present the original and translation to the Thai ministry of Foreign Affairs, consular department in Bangkok. They will legalise the document and with the legalised document you can go to any amphur to get married.

Note that if you have been married before they might require that you have the divorce papers translated into Thai also. Your embassy can tell you more about this. You can do it all in one day, if you hurry. But often you have to wait about 4 hours at the Thai MFA.

If you don't live in Bangkok it might be worth to have an agancy take care of things, to save you the travel time and money.

[tommyj4]

There is a company next to the British Embassy in BKK that will do everything for you in 1 day...cost is arounfd 8,000 Baht then you have to pay for the British consulate to state you are not married or are divorced, that is about 2,500-3000 baht...all done in a day, passport back, taxis paid for & 2 copies in Thai & English sent to you about a week later....a lot easier than doing it yourself & it only costs a few thousand more getting them to do it for you.....need your birth cert, passport & any divorce papers, same for the bride, I.D. card etc.

[Mario2008]

Expensive:

Translation 400 baht

Thai MFA 800 baht.

Edited October 19, 2008 by Mario2008

[trifle]

Hi Triffle!

As says G54... In the daily language in LOS, you have two meanings for marriage...

So you have to know (maybe from your GF) if you are speaking of the "real" legal marriage, in this case, yes you need some papers, or if it is the "socialising" marriage party (as explains G54) for family, relatives, villagers and so on, in which case you need NO official papers...

Please tell which one, to have the right answer.

Cheers and congratulation!

Hi there. Thanks for your reply. I need to know what documents are needed for the "official wedding". Thanks Trifle

[Mario2008]

As said, depends on your embassy. Contact them.

[trifle]

There is a company next to the British Embassy in BKK that will do everything for you in 1 day...cost is arounfd 8,000 Baht then you have to pay for the British consulate to state you are not married or are divorced, that is about 2,500-3000 baht...all done in a day, passport back, taxis paid for & 2 copies in Thai & English sent to you about a week later....a lot easier than doing it yourself & it only costs a few thousand more getting them to do it for you.....need your birth cert, passport & any divorce papers, same for the bride, I.D. card etc.

I there. Thanks for the info. I will try this. Trifle

[jackliveswhere]

100,000 Baht is very cheap. Especially if it includes the wedding.

I paid about 600,000 in total. My wife also has a child who is 10 and she is 29 yrs old herself.

The party had about 250 people and a band and so on, the dress/suit was a rental which costed only about 13,000 or the both of those. The Sin Sod was a little larger because of poor profits from the 2 years previous sugar cane harvests but the family is now back in the profitable area and all is well. The Sin Sod is a tradition and the lady can get upset if she feels the husband to be does not want to pay. Myself I was not bothered by this but everyone is different. Theres also the gold that is a traditional gift as an engagement (Koo-Mun) similar to an engagement ring. As far as I can tell it shows your committent as alot of face is lost if someone says they will marry and cancel at a later date. There is a link regarding the sin sod on TV I saw the other day. I'll look for it and post it on this thread for you to read. I think it was in the Issan Forum.

Also worth pressing for the official/legal marriage. We done this also, it was in the week after the wedding but had all the documentation ready, you will need a document from your embassy stating that you are single, your passport, her ID Card and translations all of this also will the divorce certificate from her previous marriage if she was married..

Edited October 23, 2008 by jackliveswhere

[whiterussian]

bargain basement price of 30,000 sinsod, plus 3 baht of gold, (can be discounted to one baht though) whats that 20,000? plus rings - 20,000?

wedding party not so important, just family. although a good village piss up could be done for 10-20,000. An awesome one with sexy dancers for 80 - 100k up here in CM. (that would ensure all the village turned up).

If you are a richer man, and 100% sure of staying in thailand, would suggest no less than 100k.

Havent taken the plunge yet, but aware of the costs.

Having said that, from a higher class (mine GF is peasant class) 500k min.

Edited October 23, 2008 by UKWEBPRO

[rgs2001uk]

bargain basement price of 30,000 sinsod, plus 3 baht of gold, (can be discounted to one baht though) whats that 20,000? plus rings - 20,000?

wedding party not so important, just family. although a good village piss up could be done for 10-20,000. An awesome one with sexy dancers for 80 - 100k up here in CM. (that would ensure all the village turned up).

If you are a richer man, and 100% sure of staying in thailand, would suggest no less than 100k.

Havent taken the plunge yet, but aware of the costs.

Having said that, from a higher class (mine GF is peasant class) 500k min.

here in bangkok, university educated girl (never married) speaks perfect english (has regular well paying job) comes from a good family (parents own property etc).

sin sod asked for is 100,000 baht, which will be returned to the married couple to with as they wish.

from the above work out what you should be paying, if at all.

as the thais say, up to you, there must be many pissing themselves laughing all the way to the bank.

as for all this talk about face, you gain face in thailand by your actions, not by how much is put on a plate.

[richm7]

There are some replies on here that are such utter crap the posters need to spend more time in front of the mirror flying their kites and less time in front of their computers. I'd love to meet some of them because they clearly have the unusual ability to not only talk through their arse but type with it too.

The answer to this one is simple. Never spend, on anything or anyone, more than you can afford (to lose). All this tosh about farangs not having to pay sin sot or ought to refuse or whatever is total bloody nonsense. 100,000 baht all-in is incredibly cheap, whether it be in Thailand or Texas or Thames bloody Ditton. If you can't afford to lose 100,000 baht you are indeed in deep shit already. If you met this woman yesterday you shouldn't be doing it because you are already in another kind of deep shit!

If that's not provocative enough........100,000 all-in is SO bloody cheap it smells fishy to me. Sure you're not mixing up your saen's and lan's?

[rgs2001uk]

There are some replies on here that are such utter crap the posters need to spend more time in front of the mirror flying their kites and less time in front of their computers. I'd love to meet some of them because they clearly have the unusual ability to not only talk through their arse but type with it too.

The answer to this one is simple. Never spend, on anything or anyone, more than you can afford (to lose). All this tosh about farangs not having to pay sin sot or ought to refuse or whatever is total bloody nonsense. 100,000 baht all-in is incredibly cheap, whether it be in Thailand or Texas or Thames bloody Ditton. If you can't afford to lose 100,000 baht you are indeed in deep shit already. If you met this woman yesterday you shouldn't be doing it because you are already in another kind of deep shit!

If that's not provocative enough........100,000 all-in is SO bloody cheap it smells fishy to me. Sure you're not mixing up your saen's and lan's?

while i agree with the majority of your post, there are however a couple of points i would like to address.

can you pleases tell me how many thai men you know have married a thai divorcee and paid sin sod, never mind that, can you please tell me how many thai men you know have actuallly married a thai divorcee.

i would be interested to know how many of the people who replied with their remarkable insight into thai society actuallly live here and just what is their thai language skills. unlike many who choose to say they are fluent in thai language, i know my limitations, howewever 600k for a woman with with a kid for which sin sod was alreay paid, defies the normal thai laws, look forward to hearing replies from people who live here and speak thai, not amateur wanabees.

[jackliveswhere]

rgs2001uk,

Live there or not live there. Does not always make a big difference, and the way I see it it still shows a level of commitment and is somewhat returned within the family later on. Ours of which has been spent on a plot of land which the parents use until they pass and they want to give back to us. To me it doesnt matter too much and still if you compare it to a price at home for a wedding its still cheap plus the chances of losing after a divorce, its even cheaper. I know thai people that have paid 100,000 or 200,000 baht for the sinsod (in my case my wife's previous husband paid very little and then ran out on her taking everything and leaving a string of bills to pay) but alot of people being a farang as I can tell have a better income so are then expected to pay a little more. All and all there are many people who come to thailand and make mistakes with regards to who they get involved with, i've heard many stories during visa application waiting periods, socialising and so on and after some stories it makes me wonder why people return. For the record I live in thailand and fly out to indonesia for work and its much the same story here in regards to the wedding. I'm not fluent in Thai but can have a conversation, read & write... but not at the same level as a Thai. I think there are alot of people on this forum that come to boast on their thai abilities whilst the rest come for information & others experiences to help them along the way. If you would like a Elite Farang Thai Residing/Speaking forum I suggest you have a look around or start yourself a little newsletter to share your vast thai knowledge OR just ignore what you do not like to read.

I know I do. This was an exception.

All in all I think no farang will be as informed as a Thai. Also there are many people new to coming to thailand.... please tell me the duration of stay to be accepted past the level of 'amature wanabee'. Theres no need to carry on such as this as there are many so called amature wanabees on here all of which have the right to give their story/thoughts.

Edited October 23, 2008 by jackliveswhere

[GENeIsUS]

Right on Jack. I have never paid a penny for either of my two marriages here is Thailand. (My first wife died) Maybe both of them being orphans had something to do with it.????

[jackliveswhere]

Thanks Geneisus,

This is a good forum and its a pity if it continues to be a competitive one with regards on who has live in Thailand the longest and knows the most thai slang.

Orphans may break the tie to the family in regards to sinsod's, I might ask the wife her opinion. If only my wife was like yours..... I would be loaded!! haha.

[rgs2001uk]

rgs2001uk,

Live there or not live there. Does not always make a big difference, and the way I see it it still shows a level of commitment and is somewhat returned within the family later on. Ours of which has been spent on a plot of land which the parents use until they pass and they want to give back to us. To me it doesnt matter too much and still if you compare it to a price at home for a wedding its still cheap plus the chances of losing after a divorce, its even cheaper. I know thai people that have paid 100,000 or 200,000 baht for the sinsod (in my case my wife's previous husband paid very little and then ran out on her taking everything and leaving a string of bills to pay) but alot of people being a farang as I can tell have a better income so are then expected to pay a little more. All and all there are many people who come to thailand and make mistakes with regards to who they get involved with, i've heard many stories during visa application waiting periods, socialising and so on and after some stories it makes me wonder why people return. For the record I live in thailand and fly out to indonesia for work and its much the same story here in regards to the wedding. I'm not fluent in Thai but can have a conversation, read & write... but not at the same level as a Thai. I think there are alot of people on this forum that come to boast on their thai abilities whilst the rest come for information & others experiences to help them along the way. If you would like a Elite Farang Thai Residing/Speaking forum I suggest you have a look around or start yourself a little newsletter to share your vast thai knowledge OR just ignore what you do not like to read.

I know I do. This was an exception.

All in all I think no farang will be as informed as a Thai. Also there are many people new to coming to thailand.... please tell me the duration of stay to be accepted past the level of 'amature wanabee'. Theres no need to carry on such as this as there are many so called amature wanabees on here all of which have the right to give their story/thoughts.

jack,

it would appear that i have hit a raw nerve, we obviously have a differing point of view on the same subject.

i congratulate you on the time and efort you have put into learning the thai language, its more than most, i know how frustrating, boring, mundane and repetative it can be, well done.

i dont think in terms of what the cost of things back home are or would be, i live here and think in thai prices, i stand by my statement that 600k baht is not the norm in thailand, however i accept your point of view is as valid as mine.

i agree 100% about some of the people who come here, some are just desperate for company at any cost, but thats their choice, just as you made your choice to pay sin sod for a divorcee.

i certainly was not boasting about my thai ability, i was merely offering an insight from one who speaks enough thai and lives here to be able to offer an alternative point of view, too many people are told this is the thai way, when in fact it is not. the reason these people are fooled into thinking like this is because they dont know what questions to ask or who to ask them of.

i dont claim to have a vast thai knowledge and i am not ashamed to say i try and learn something new everyday, thats where the ability to speak thai and living here helps, its also one of the reasons i visit forums such as this one, to improve my understanding of thai culture and language, you are of course correct, i will never be as informed as a thai, all i can do is try and gain more knowledge.

my remarks about amateur wanabess was aimed at those who neither live here, speak the language or have any understanding of thailand or its culture, usually found propping up a bar in sukhumvit rd or pattaya, i know guys who like you work overseas, and holiday for 2 months of the year in thailand, yet claim to live here, how strange, why would someone do that?

thats the beauty of an internet forum, all have the right to contribute, however not all will have the knowledge to understand when half truths or things which arent even the thai way are being expressed.

i like you was offering an observation, yes there are many topics i ignore, and like you this time was an exception, i didnt realize my alternative point of view had offended you so much, dont take it personally,it wasnt meant to be personal.

have a nice day, best regards.

[jackliveswhere]

rgs2001uk,

mate, not offended but I see alot of people here that seem to think they are the encyclopedia of thailand. There are very informative people here who help many including myself. I know i paid a large sinsod, divorcee or not it doesnt make a difference to me. Help and be helped is what I always believe and obviously that has its limits.

i work overseas but still spend a vast amount of my time in thailand. but besides that I just feel that there are some people that seem to think that living in thailand should make others give them some kind of instant respect. in my world everyone is on the same level and no one is better than another, sure some have better skills but as being's we are all the same and we all have our troubles which others can help with occasionally.

people have the same attitude here in indo and in western countries also. i just don't seem to understand the need for any of it.

[tommyj4]

How true..travelling most parts of the world can be a great pleasure, meeting people, sharing experiences...somehow in Thailand....with the exception of a few.....most toursists/expats whatever always seem to think they are one better...what makes people like this...have never come across it anywhere else in the world & I have travelled/worked extensively....can hazard a guess that with the admiration of a beautiful woman (something a lot of guys have never experienced befor they came here because they are utter <deleted>) it suddenly makes them feel superior......how many ex SAS members have you met.....me.. have met probably 15 in the last 4 years...well that said just shows what bu****it people come out with....anyway sin sod isnt necesary unless you want to