Thai Lady Telephone Habits, Etc.

[a2396]

I am curious if and/or when any of you gentlemen you may become concerned, if your lady does not answer her phone when you call. My experience is that a Thai lady is never far from her phone & it is generally her constant companion. My case in question are several occasions where whe did not answer for a couple of hours or more. The latest incident was this Sunday, with not response from 2 PM, with a return call at 6 PM. The story was that she did not see her phone. On the weekends she visits her parents home from Friday afternoon to Sunday evening. She says this, but I've never been there to verify such. She is 24 & I think a visit home EVERY weekend is a bit unusual. Parents live about 30 km from her apt. When she is at her apt, durning the week, she usually answers quite quickly. Try to keep the nasty replies to a minimum. Thank you.

[jasreeve17]

You're clearly asking a deeper question. You need to communicate with her about your fears and get to the bottom of the problem.

Is it possible for somebody to not answer the phone for a very good reason - yes.

Is it possible for somebody to not answer a phone for a bad reason - yes.

[ozsamurai]

If something smells fishy then it usually is, communication is the only way to get to the bottom of it, but they will lie anyway so trust your gut.

[Sabum]

Sorry man but nasty replies is all you're going to get. I cant tell you how many girls Ive encountered that ALL had some old Thai or Falang boyfriend taking care of them.... and yet they sneak out to see a guy like me. Or a young Thai guy. If I was you I would get verification of her whereabouts, follow her if you have to, her not answering her phone is pretty much concrete proof she's with another man at that moment, this is Thailand. If a Thai guy doesnt answer his phone when his Thai girl calls, there is hel_l to pay. Sorry if this is not what you want to hear.

[a2396]

Sorry man but nasty replies is all you're going to get. I cant tell you how many girls Ive encountered that ALL had some old Thai or Falang boyfriend taking care of them.... and yet they sneak out to see a guy like me. Or a young Thai guy. If I was you I would get verification of her whereabouts, follow her if you have to, her not answering her phone is pretty much concrete proof she's with another man at that moment, this is Thailand. If a Thai guy doesnt answer his phone when his Thai girl calls, there is hel_l to pay. Sorry if this is not what you want to hear.

Your reply OK. This is what I suspect. I had another Thai GF, who would do exactly what you say. Give me hel_l, if I did not answer ASAP. There are also other issues I have with this current GF, that I also want answers to or it's over. I have know her for about a year, but we are only recently getting to a more serious level with the relationship & I am not to comfortable with many poorly explained situations.

[IMA_FARANG]

I am curious if and/or when any of you gentlemen you may become concerned, if your lady does not answer her phone when you call. My experience is that a Thai lady is never far from her phone & it is generally her constant companion. My case in question are several occasions where whe did not answer for a couple of hours or more. The latest incident was this Sunday, with not response from 2 PM, with a return call at 6 PM. The story was that she did not see her phone. On the weekends she visits her parents home from Friday afternoon to Sunday evening. She says this, but I've never been there to verify such. She is 24 & I think a visit home EVERY weekend is a bit unusual. Parents live about 30 km from her apt. When she is at her apt, durning the week, she usually answers quite quickly. Try to keep the nasty replies to a minimum. Thank you.

Not to be critical, but your problem is deeper than where she is/isn't any moment. If you don't trust her to be where she claims she is, you have a big problem.

Her not being home when you call has many possible reasons. Some could be good, some not good. If your relationship with her is that insecure, you have problems.

Just for the record, many Thai women are still quite attached to their families at age 24. Don't necessarily judge her by western standards. The family is very important in Thai culture.

Or she could be fooling around on you.

Or it could be something in between. Try to imagine, she may have a life of her own with her friends (female). Isn't that possible?

[GuestHouse]

I don't know anyone who has not missed the occasional incoming call - I certainly have.

So I think missing the odd call is not an indication of anything other than the person being like the rest of us.

However, if missing calls is a frequent thing and especially of calls are missed at certain times of the week then I think you need to start listening to what your instincts are telling you.

Ask yourself this question. When you are together how often does she use her phone? If she makes and takes frequent calls during the time you are with her then she is not likely to miss calls for hours at a time on a regular basis.

But the bottom line for me is if you are loosing trust in her then cut you loss now and move on. Either her cheating or your lack of trust - both will bury your relationship.

[britmaveric]

Could mean smth and then again it might not.

[RakJungTorlae]

Why don’t you think of it as this way and vie seed it before many times. I know you are just asking out of curiosity and maybe you have or are investing in her a bit here and there, but she dose not belong to you, any chick that a man is just dating, its all just fun and games, if she’s lying she just doing it to protect this truth from you. If she is not then good luck there might be hope to take it to the next level.

My diagnosis- she’s at her kiks house.

[Maigo6]

I often miss calls myself, means nothing.

It's the ol' A2396 paranoia getting the better of him again.

You mention her age, I think it is relevant in this case as your old enough to be her grandfather, that is what makes you so paranoid.

Try getting a woman of your own age, and like magic your paranoia will go away.

And if she is seeing a guy her own age on the side, do you not understand her ?

Would you if you were in her position ?

[Maigo6]

Could mean smth and then again it might not.

Brit has a Masters Degree in the bleedin' obvious.

[RakJungTorlae]

When I miss calls it means im busy, take a hint!!!

[Scott]

Yes, I occasionally miss calls too. I miss them every Monday night from about 7:00 to 9:00, but that's cause I turn the phone off while I am in the short-time room with someone.

Of course, when asked, I was in a meeting.

[Maigo6]

I cant tell you how many girls Ive encountered that ALL had some old Thai or Falang boyfriend taking care of them.... and yet they sneak out to see a guy like me.

Every girl you've ever encountered ?

Where do you exactly encounter these girls in the first place ?

Oh, don't tell me, at the gates of the University waiting for daddy to pick them up in the Bentley. I was almost forgetting that ThaiVisa members are the hottest studs on the planet with hi-so gals throwing themselves at posters here with gay abandon.

[RakJungTorlae]

Yes, I occasionally miss calls too. I miss them every Monday night from about 7:00 to 9:00, but that's cause I turn the phone off while I am in the short-time room with someone.

Of course, when asked, I was in a meeting.

That's a good one.

I better stop saying im at my parents house, as its getting kind of old.

Edited October 12, 2008 by RakJungTorlae

[britmaveric]

Could mean smth and then again it might not.

Brit has a Masters Degree in the bleedin' obvious.

Yeah earned it from Chang University!!!

[dumball]

A young Thai ladies phone is almost glued to her ear , no answer in 4 hours , she is otherwise occupied , goes to the village every week-end , this is NOT normal , cut yor ties now or have the golden ring inserted in your nose , there are more available , willing ladies in Thailand than you could hope to service in a life-time . A lady would do this to me only one time , remember the golden rule 'He who has the gold makes the rules' .

You only come this way once , use your time to the best of YOUR requirements and needs , never become a slave to a Thai , NEVER .

[Chaimai]

It's the ol' A2396 paranoia getting the better of him again.

You mention her age, I think it is relevant in this case as your old enough to be her grandfather, that is what makes you so paranoid.

Try getting a woman of your own age, and like magic your paranoia will go away.

This one is tee'd up for you GoHok - and only 20% of the posts so far

I don't think the OP stated his age, so to be grandfather material let's say "over 50".

Over to you A2396 - what is the age gap ??

[Maigo6]

A young Thai ladies phone is almost glued to her ear , no answer in 4 hours , she is otherwise occupied , goes to the village every week-end , this is NOT normal , cut yor ties now or have the golden ring inserted in your nose , there are more available , willing ladies in Thailand than you could hope to service in a life-time . A lady would do this to me only one time , remember the golden rule 'He who has the gold makes the rules' .

You only come this way once , use your time to the best of YOUR requirements and needs , never become a slave to a Thai , NEVER .

Total hogwash.

My little sis travels 146 Kms each way every weekend to come home from school, so does her friend, they are both 20. Both have mobile phones that are certainly not glued to their ears, as mine isn't either, I often leave my phone in my car overnight or leave it at home then discover I've left it at home after going out.

If the guy is approximately the same age, the paranoia will evaporate somewhat, it's just that old geezers come to Thailand to take advantage of their financial clout, thinking they own the people.

And seem jolly surprised when they discover they don't!

Edited October 12, 2008 by Maigo6

[Maigo6]

This one is tee'd up for you GoHok

I think you may be right.

[Maigo6]

Over to you A2396 - what is the age gap ??

We have been through similar threads in the Past, A2396 won't give out such information, he thinks it's irrelevant.

Edited October 12, 2008 by Maigo6

[Sabum]

I cant tell you how many girls Ive encountered that ALL had some old Thai or Falang boyfriend taking care of them.... and yet they sneak out to see a guy like me.

Every girl you've ever encountered ?

Where do you exactly encounter these girls in the first place ?

Oh, don't tell me, at the gates of the University waiting for daddy to pick them up in the Bentley. I was almost forgetting that ThaiVisa members are the hottest studs on the planet with hi-so gals throwing themselves at posters here with gay abandon.

I wrote that badly, I shouldnt have used the word all. Didnt mean to sound like I was bragging... or lying and Im really some fat older guy who thinks hes handsome because hookers tell him so. Girls that are taken care of generally dont go to university... why would they? So they can have a backup plan in case rich men suddenly dont like them? That would take some planning ahead... havent seen to much of that from these girls.

[dumball]

I cant tell you how many girls Ive encountered that ALL had some old Thai or Falang boyfriend taking care of them.... and yet they sneak out to see a guy like me.

Every girl you've ever encountered ?

Where do you exactly encounter these girls in the first place ?

Oh, don't tell me, at the gates of the University waiting for daddy to pick them up in the Bentley. I was almost forgetting that ThaiVisa members are the hottest studs on the planet with hi-so gals throwing themselves at posters here with gay abandon.

Quite possible , female , short skirts , need money to entertain lazy Thai boy-friend , can never tell who is in the loop , oops . name tag inverted , IN THE LOOP .

just takes an ATM card . Wake up TIT , TiT .

[Maigo6]

I wrote that badly, I shouldnt have used the word all. Didnt mean to sound like I was bragging... or lying and Im really some fat older guy who thinks hes handsome because hookers tell him so. Girls that are taken care of generally dont go to university... why would they?

LOL......

Tell me, have you ever actually been to Thailand ?

[Sabum]

I wrote that badly, I shouldnt have used the word all. Didnt mean to sound like I was bragging... or lying and Im really some fat older guy who thinks hes handsome because hookers tell him so. Girls that are taken care of generally dont go to university... why would they?

LOL......

Tell me, have you ever actually been to Thailand ?

Uh ya, are you always like this? Why dont you tell me like it really is then.

[Maigo6]

Uh ya, are you always like this?

Pretty much, yea.

[dumball]

A young Thai ladies phone is almost glued to her ear , no answer in 4 hours , she is otherwise occupied , goes to the village every week-end , this is NOT normal , cut yor ties now or have the golden ring inserted in your nose , there are more available , willing ladies in Thailand than you could hope to service in a life-time . A lady would do this to me only one time , remember the golden rule 'He who has the gold makes the rules' .

You only come this way once , use your time to the best of YOUR requirements and needs , never become a slave to a Thai , NEVER .

Total hogwash.

My little sis travels 146 Kms each way every weekend to come home from school, so does her friend, they are both 20. Both have mobile phones that are certainly not glued to their ears, as mine isn't either, I often leave my phone in my car overnight or leave it at home then discover I've left it at home after going out.

If the guy is approximately the same age, the paranoia will evaporate somewhat, it's just that old geezers come to Thailand to take advantage of their financial clout, thinking they own the people.

And seem jolly surprised when they discover they don't!

So you travel on the bus with your lil sis ? Why have a phone you cannot answer or turn off ? Old geezers do not come to Thailand for their financial clout , Thai ladies take advantage of possible security , why do you think they come/are sent to the big city ? Financial security for the WHOLE lazy family , you think differently , you are out in left field . Many , many depend on old foreigner for an income , without them they starve and so does their family , this has been a fact of life for many years and with the drop in tourism , many will suffer the consequencies of unavailable income from what you call 'Old geezers'.

It is not that the man is paranoid , have you ever noticed the blatant jealousy displayed by many 'Young'Thai ladies when that old geezer companion looks at another lady ? It is not jealousy , it is a form of hatred for the other female who could be contemplating taking their next meal away , my opinion for what ever it may be worth from years of experience ,

[Spee]

I am curious if and/or when any of you gentlemen you may become concerned, if your lady does not answer her phone when you call. My experience is that a Thai lady is never far from her phone & it is generally her constant companion.

IMHO, it is something to just keep an eye on as part of the larger scope of your evolving relationship. It sounds like she is not ignoring you or taking advantage of you (in Thai, "ao bpriap"). Also, what is the content and context of your calls when you do talk? Is it always about money? Is it always about asking how each other is doing, how things are going, etc.?

Also, who is initiating the calls? Are you always calling her? Is she taking initiative to call you equally as often? Does she go more than a day without returning a call? Several days? A week?

You are correct about the phone being a constant companion, not only with women but men as well. From my observations, having a mobile phone is viewed as a necessity by all but the poorest Thai people (not to say that this makes them different from people in other areas). You can use this assumption with reasonable confidence in assessing your situation.

Being separated from a significant other can present problems and concerns. The telephone can be a lifeline and a curse at the same time. With the exceptions of a few times when we were fighting about something, my girl and I have called each other every day about 95% of the time or more. Since I can call her much cheaper than she can call me, she will usually call let it ring a couple of times then hang up.

In any case, in a long distance relationship, the phone really does have to be the next best thing to being there. Phone calls have to be a two way dialog, just as talking in person has to be a two way dialog. As others have suggested, talk to your girl and set your expectations.

[khunandy]

Well, this is the way it is: period

You call..no answer...you get suspicious...she gets angry/upset with your accusation...you are sorry!

All is good until the next time ...and you can repeat the steps however many times you are willing to be suckered.

Sometimes there is a genuine excuse but dont count on your lady being able to communicate to that level, the more she protests , the more guilty she probably is

[a2396]

Thanks to some you for your insightful & relevant comments. As to be expected, the self-appointed age police have crawled out from under their rock to proclaim my post has it’s origins in an age difference, between me and the lady in question. Apparently, they also feel qualified to pronounce judgment on my emotional frame of mind in this matter, claiming I am paranoid. This board is littered with the derogatory comments of one poster in particular, whenever he (or she) sees an issue that, in his opinion may somehow besmirch the sterling character and behavior of Thai women. This is not really a Thai women issue, but is a matter of appropriate accountability that I would expect in any relationship.

Contrary to their expert opinions, this issue has nothing to do with age, but is relevant to the standards of integrity that one might expect from a close personal relationship. Fortunately, a couple of posters have indicated that they would view the lapses in phone response I have described as suspicious. In fact, one stated he would tolerate no such behavior, even on one occasion. I would give this lady a bit more leeway, since we have not clearly defined the nature of our relationship and what each other expects.

I consider this a serious matter, because it has happened several times and usually on these weekend visits to the “parents”.