The Off Topic Thread

[Zpete]

Wonder what football Alex likes........

Tennis

Baseball

Cricket

Union......(The bestest)

League

Auzzie Rules

...........or

Soccer, the dumbest of all games played with a ball on foot.

[AlexLah]

I like these bon

Boing boing boing...........

[thithi]

........ TA LUENG

[AlexLah]

I know talok.....

TT you forgot to tell about library exam, what was it?

[thithi]

.....you wanna know that bad???

i dnt wanna know! aafter the exam i went back the library to return the books.... and they fined me 90 baht for those 3 books!!! arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrg

[AlexLah]

That's very bad.

But you still not xplane what the exam was about.......

Did you had to find certain books or somesing?

[thithi]

bibliography

how to find the book online

which word to be used for finding the books

.................................. and something i dnt know

[AlexLah]

That sounds like a boring exam to me, you also have to pay school for that?

[thithi]

oh yeh...

fining for belated returning

[BIGTOE3]

You all missed a great night on Sunday - Monday when Man Utd won the cup

Still more FOOTBALL TONIGHT although a little late starts at 2.45 am.

BT

[AlexLah]

I think guy look at guy might be gay?

[thithi]

LOL

better go watch Milk- movie

[AlexLah]

Jeez, you are smart a55

Milk the movie about gay elected later assasinated gov official.

Had to kwookle it.

[BIGTOE3]

Boaby & Davy go to France (Conjoined Twins)>>> Absolute cracker!>>>

An on duty Gendarme spots a hire car approaching the> Champs Elysees> with> a rear light out.

He beckons the driver to pull over,> which he does> and> winds his window down.

The Officer has a good look> inside the car and> notices that the driver and passenger are conjoined> twins, Boaby &> Davy.>>

Instead of making an issue over the light out> situation he begins to> engage in some friendly chat.>>

Gendarme: Ah, you are on holiday my friends?>>

Davy: Aye, that's right big yin. We've been coming> every September> weekend for the last 9 years.>>

Gendarme: So I guess you come to France to get away> from ze rainy> weather you have in Ecosse?>>

Davy: Naw, it nearly always pishes doon when we come> here. Your> weather's nae better than oors, in't that right Boaby?>> Boaby: Aye.>>

Gendarme: Zen I take it you are here to enjoy our> delicious French> food,> very healthy.>>

Davy: Naw, yer food's mingin big man, everything reeks> of garlic.> We've> brought a box full of pieces to avoid eating your> crap.>>

Gendarme: Zen you must be here to drink our famous> wines and cognac,> surely.>>

Davy: Yer swally's boggin, we've hid tae bring a kerry> oot. In't that> right Boaby?>> Boaby: Aye.>>

Gendarme (by now ever so slightly bemused): Well in> that case you must> be here to see the Parisienne madamoiselles, ze most> beautiful women in> Europe.>>

Davy: Yer kiddin in't ye! The burds here are dugs, ah> widnae touch them> wae yours big yin.>>

Gendarme (by now rather irate): Zen why do you people> come to our> country if everysing ees so bad?>>

Boaby: It's the only chance oor Davy gets tae drive!>

BT

[AlexLah]

Pffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffff

BT are you the funniest guy in the family?

[BIGTOE3]

Australian letter of the year

This is (supposedly) an actual letter sent to the DFAT Minster, The Hon Alexander Downer and the Immigration Minister, The Hon Minister Amanda Vanstone. The Government tried in desperation to censure the author, but got nowhere because every legal person who read it nearly wet themselves laughing!

Please excuse the language contained within, but I suspect the author was somewhat upset (you think?). I'll let you decide! Seems like governments are the same the world over aren't they?

Dear Mr. Minister,

I'm in the process of renewing my passport, and still cannot believe this. How is it that K-Mart has my address and telephone number, and knows that I bought a Television Set and Golf Clubs from them back in 1997, and yet, the Federal Government is still asking me where I was born and on what date.

For Christ sakes, do you guys do this by hand?

My birth date you have in my Medicare information, and it is on all the income tax forms I've filed for the past 40 years. It is on my driver's licence, on the last eight passports I've ever had, on all those stupid customs declaration forms I've had to fill out before being allowed off the planes over the last 30 years, and all those insufferable census forms that I've filled out every 5 years since 1966.

Also..would somebody please take note, once and for all, that my mother's name is Audrey, my Father's name is Jack, and I'd be absolutely fuc_king astounded if that ever changed between now and when I drop dead!!!...

SHIT!

I apologize, Mr. Minister. But I'm really pissed off this morning. Between you an' me, I've had enough of all this bullshit! You send the application to my house, then you ask me for my fuc_king address!! What the hel_l is going on with your mob? Have you got a gang of mindless Neanderthal arse-holes workin' there!

And another thing, look at my dam_n picture. Do I look like Bin Laden? I can't even grow a beard for God's sakes. I just want to go to New Zealand and see my new granddaughter. (Yes, my son interbred with a Kiwi girl). And would someone please tell me, why would you give a shit whether I plan on visiting a farm in the next 15 days? If I ever got the urge to do something weird to a sheep or a horse, believe you me, I'd sure as hel_l not want to tell anyone!

Well, I have to go now, 'cause I have to go to the other end of the city, and get another fuc_king copy of my birth certificate, and to part with another $80 for the privilege of accessing MY OWN INFORMATION!

Would it be so complicated to have all the services in the same spot, to assist in the issuance of a new passport on the same day?? Nooooo... that'd be too fuc_king easy and makes far too much sense. You would much prefer to have us running all over the place like chickens with our fuc_king heads cut off, and then having to find some high society wanke_r to confirm that it's really me in the goddamn photo! You know the photo..the one where we're not allowed to smile?! ....you fuc_king morons

Signed - An Irate Australian Citizen.

P.S Remember what I said above about the picture, and getting someone in high-society to confirm that it's me? Well, my family has been in this country since before 1850! In 1856, one of my forefathers took up arms with Peter Lalor. (You do remember the Eureka Stockade!!) I have also served in both the CMF and regular Army something over 30 years (I went to Vietnam in 1967), and still have high security clearances. I'm also a personal friend of the president of the RSL.. and Lt General Peter Cosgrove sends me a Christmas card each year. However, your rules require that I have to get someone 'important' to verify who I am; You know.. someone like my doctor; WHO WAS BORN AND RAISED IN fuc_kING PAKISTAN!!!......a country where they either assassinate or hang their ex-Prime Ministers, and are suspended from the Commonwealth for not having the 'right sort of government.' You are all fuc_king idiots

Alan.

BT Well I had a good laugh.

[AlexLah]

Well a bit more on the serious side.

Have you ever wondered why you are being adressed as Mr/Mrs which makes you a legal PERSON?

Have you ever wondered why they write your full name in all caps?

Why you never get your original birthcertificate, go ahead try it, they won't give it to you.

Why all country's are registered as a corporation?

[BigSnake]

It's my birthday and my colleagues gave me a chocolate fudge cake

Gonna get fat girl, than you will be easy to catch, then again maybe that what your colleagues had in mine. HMMMMMMM!

[thithi]

i do have the birth certificate....

[AlexLah]

Are you sure it is not a legalized copy?

Normally after you born within two weeks your parents have to inform the government by filling in a birthcertificate so they hand over the legal ownership of the child to the government. At least that how it goes in the West.

[thithi]

yes a fancy birth certificate

[AlexLah]

Ok what happens when you loose it incase of fire or something?

Where do you get a new one?

[thithi]

errr.... the city hall?

[AlexLah]

He he he!

You see, in order to give you an original BC again both your parents should fill in the same form again.

So what they do is they keep the original form (contract) that was filled in by your parents and signed by them as original legal proof that they registered you as a now legal PERSON and in return they give your parents a fancy looking peace of paper.

Now if you check what the meaning is of PERSON you understand that you can now be forced to (later) pay tax, can be sued in court and many other things. It is really interesting.

[BIGTOE3]

He he he!

You see, in order to give you an original BC again both your parents should fill in the same form again.

So what they do is they keep the original form (contract) that was filled in by your parents and signed by them as original legal proof that they registered you as a now legal PERSON and in return they give your parents a fancy looking peace of paper.

Now if you check what the meaning is of PERSON you understand that you can now be forced to (later) pay tax, can be sued in court and many other things. It is really interesting.

Rubbish.............. only one parent required in the west or in the West Of Scotland at least.....

anyway to serious - waiting for football Man Utd v Newcastle 3 - 0 I think

BT

[thithi]

who cares about fudbon huh??

this literature thingy is killllllllllllllllllllllllling meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!

[BIGTOE3]

who cares about fudbon huh??

this literature thingy is killllllllllllllllllllllllling meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!

this literature thingy is killllllllllllllllllllllllling WHY ??????? is that why you had problem with libary exam ///////?????? HAHA

BT

ps Did you understand the Scottish story ??????

[AlexLah]

They have the president!!!!!!!!!!!

They have the president!!!!!!!!!!!

They have the president!!!!!!!!!!!

They have the president!!!!!!!!!!!

[Zpete]

* * *

After three years of research, an Austrian scientist has solved the mystery of belly button fluff. Georg Steinhauser has discovered a type of body hair that traps stray pieces of lint and draws them into the navel. Analysis revealed the pieces of fluff were not made up of only cotton from clothing, but wrapped up in the lint were also flecks of dead skin, fat, sweat and dust. Writing in the journal Medical Hypotheses, he said the scaly structure of the hair enhances the "abrasion of minuscule fibres from the shirt" and directs the lint towards the belly button. Dr Steinhauser established that shaving your belly will result in a fluff-free navel, as will wearing old clothes. (Source: The Telegraph.co.uk)

I really needed to know that, now I can sleep in peace.

....and scratch me s in relief

[BIGTOE3]

Read this question, come up with an answer, and then scroll down to the bottom for the result.

This is not a trick question. It is as it reads.

No one I know has been right.

A woman, while at the funeral of her own mother, met a guy whom she did not know. She thought this guy was amazing. She believed him to be her dream guy so much, that she fell in love with him right there, but never asked for his number and could not find him. A few days later she killed her sister.

Question: What is her motive for killing her sister?

[Give this some thought before you answer, see answer below )

Answer:

She was hoping the guy would appear at the funeral again. If you answered this correctly, you think like a psychopath.

This was a test by a famous American Psychologist used to test if one has the same mentality as a killer.

Many arrested serial killers took part in the test and answered the question correctly.

If you didn't answer the question correctly, good for you:)

If you got the answer correct, please let me know so I can take you off my email list...

Have a good day.

BT