Question For The Men: What Do Thai Women Understand About Western Men That

[victrola]

Hi,

I am new to this forum after having lived for four years in Japan and China. I just visited thailand for the first time last month.

First, let me start by requesting that you don't pin the stereotype of "Bitter Western woman" on me. I understand why the stereotype exists, but don't lump me in with the girls who come to Asia and refuse to date anyone but other whites. I have never understood those girls, and for me, dating the local men is something I can't comprehend why any woman would close herself off to. I've got no time for people who villify farang men for dating Asian women, and even less time for men who express disbelief that I could ever be attracted to an Asian man.

Anyway, recently I had a conversation with an expat man in Bangkok who really opened my eyes. Anyway, we talked a lot more than I have the time to write down here, but basically, I came to realize that Western men are suckers for love. And speaking for myself alone, i tend to have forgotten that. Hollywood portrays a "manly man" as someone who never shows his emotions or vulnerability, and I must confess I have internalized that a little bit, and don't often consider that a man may be more sensitive or easily hurt than he appears.

So anyway, I was reading this blog:

http:// www.deanbarrettthailand.com/ten_golden_rules_of_thai_bargirl.htm (smilies put there to prevent hotlinking) and I came across this gem:

8) Learn to prey on the emotional weaknesses of Western men. You must learn how to make customers feel lust, guilt, responsibility, jealousy, and a myriad of other emotions. This isn’t that easy as no Thai man would ever fall for the silly little games that come from this but many (certainly not all) Western men are unequipped to handle these games. One of my best mates likes to say (when referring to Western customers dealing with Thai bar gals) that “the gals have the home field advantage and many of us don’t even know the rules to this game.”

Okay, now as a western woman, i have a handle on the idea that I have to make a man feel lust in order to get him to like me. And be umm, sweet and not mind sports and such.

But emotional weaknesses/ That does not make any sense to me. I was brought up to believe that a woman should pretend that a man has NO emotional weaknesses even when it is blindingly obvois that he does. (Like, for example, noticing that your man seems afraid of heights and saying "gee honey, I am afraid of heights, can we get down from here" rather than comforting him.

So in short, I am realizing that perhaps I have never seen Western men accurately at all, that the ridiculous stereotypes of Hollywood have blinded me to the reality of men. And obviously, Thai women don't have this handicap. C'mon, guys, give me a hand in human understanding over here, I promise i'll use it only for good.

You know it's like this, the more i understand men, the better I am able to treat them. Seeing men innaccurately leads to hurting them inadvertantly, I believe.

So please, give me some insight! I wanted to travel to understand my world better, and i am more confused than ever. Help me get towards the light, please?

Thanks,

V.

p.s I am on a tiny keyboard, please excuse my typos/

[girlx]

why post this on the women's branch? and what exactly is your question- do men have real emotions? why are thai women (or more specifically, bargirls) so adept at manipulating them? how can you become better at manipulating them? i don't get it.

[patklang]

Are you branding every thai lady with this or every bar girl.sorry but this is total hogwash and there are good and bad everywhere.No way can you generalise about women they are the same and different thruout the world.

[tmd5855]

Hi,

I am new to this forum after having lived for four years in Japan and China. I just visited thailand for the first time last month.

First, let me start by requesting that you don't pin the stereotype of "Bitter Western woman" on me. I understand why the stereotype exists, but don't lump me in with the girls who come to Asia and refuse to date anyone but other whites. I have never understood those girls, and for me, dating the local men is something I can't comprehend why any woman would close herself off to. I've got no time for people who villify farang men for dating Asian women, and even less time for men who express disbelief that I could ever be attracted to an Asian man.

Anyway, recently I had a conversation with an expat man in Bangkok who really opened my eyes. Anyway, we talked a lot more than I have the time to write down here, but basically, I came to realize that Western men are suckers for love. And speaking for myself alone, i tend to have forgotten that. Hollywood portrays a "manly man" as someone who never shows his emotions or vulnerability, and I must confess I have internalized that a little bit, and don't often consider that a man may be more sensitive or easily hurt than he appears.

So anyway, I was reading this blog:

http:// www.deanbarrettthailand.com/ten_golden_rules_of_thai_bargirl.htm (smilies put there to prevent hotlinking) and I came across this gem:

8) Learn to prey on the emotional weaknesses of Western men. You must learn how to make customers feel lust, guilt, responsibility, jealousy, and a myriad of other emotions. This isn’t that easy as no Thai man would ever fall for the silly little games that come from this but many (certainly not all) Western men are unequipped to handle these games. One of my best mates likes to say (when referring to Western customers dealing with Thai bar gals) that “the gals have the home field advantage and many of us don’t even know the rules to this game.”

Okay, now as a western woman, i have a handle on the idea that I have to make a man feel lust in order to get him to like me. And be umm, sweet and not mind sports and such.

But emotional weaknesses/ That does not make any sense to me. I was brought up to believe that a woman should pretend that a man has NO emotional weaknesses even when it is blindingly obvois that he does. (Like, for example, noticing that your man seems afraid of heights and saying "gee honey, I am afraid of heights, can we get down from here" rather than comforting him.

So in short, I am realizing that perhaps I have never seen Western men accurately at all, that the ridiculous stereotypes of Hollywood have blinded me to the reality of men. And obviously, Thai women don't have this handicap. C'mon, guys, give me a hand in human understanding over here, I promise i'll use it only for good.

You know it's like this, the more i understand men, the better I am able to treat them. Seeing men innaccurately leads to hurting them inadvertantly, I believe.

So please, give me some insight! I wanted to travel to understand my world better, and i am more confused than ever. Help me get towards the light, please?

Thanks,

V.

p.s I am on a tiny keyboard, please excuse my typos/

Hi V.

Always been told to that woman want the following.

1) Feel wanted, loved and admired.

2) Their partner thinks kindly of them.

3) Whether right or wrong they take your side.

4) Good mannered enough not to belittle you in public, not rven in jest.

5) Give emotional support.

6) Partner is always appreciative.

Guess what men want the same................................We have feelings, Thai women know how to push buttons 1 to 5.

[victrola]

why post this on the women's branch? and what exactly is your question- do men have real emotions? why are thai women (or more specifically, bargirls) so adept at manipulating them? how can you become better at manipulating them? i don't get it.

I would post this on the men's branch of you point it out to me, as it is this seemed like a forum where men come to talk about Thai women.

And no, I am not interested in learning how to manipulate a man, and I wonder if you got that idea from what i wrote or from the ideas of Western women you have in your head, just as I have ideas about Western men in my head that prevents me from seeing them accurately of really being able to listen to what they have to say.

But yes, I do want to know what it is abotu Thai bargirls that they are able to understand Western men so well. How did they grow up outside of Western culture, and yet have a clearer understanding of how western men think than Western women do?

I hope to understand man, and my world, better. And since I date Asian men (not as a rule, I just like men and happen to live in Asia so I like the men around me) primarily, I am interested in what Thai bargirls have learned are the differences between Asian man and Western men.

Aren't you a tiny bit interested in this topic? Don't you want to understand yourself better as a human, and as a man?

While I think that most Western men who come to Asia have good hearts, I do think that the majority of men would benefit from a little self-analysis and an examination of the ways in which they differ from Asian men.

All I want is a little discourse that is free from the self-serving bias Western men and women are too quick to show.

Please?

[victrola]

Hi,

I am new to this forum after having lived for four years in Japan and China. I just visited thailand for the first time last month.

First, let me start by requesting that you don't pin the stereotype of "Bitter Western woman" on me. I understand why the stereotype exists, but don't lump me in with the girls who come to Asia and refuse to date anyone but other whites. I have never understood those girls, and for me, dating the local men is something I can't comprehend why any woman would close herself off to. I've got no time for people who villify farang men for dating Asian women, and even less time for men who express disbelief that I could ever be attracted to an Asian man.

Anyway, recently I had a conversation with an expat man in Bangkok who really opened my eyes. Anyway, we talked a lot more than I have the time to write down here, but basically, I came to realize that Western men are suckers for love. And speaking for myself alone, i tend to have forgotten that. Hollywood portrays a "manly man" as someone who never shows his emotions or vulnerability, and I must confess I have internalized that a little bit, and don't often consider that a man may be more sensitive or easily hurt than he appears.

So anyway, I was reading this blog:

http:// www.deanbarrettthailand.com/ten_golden_rules_of_thai_bargirl.htm (smilies put there to prevent hotlinking) and I came across this gem:

8) Learn to prey on the emotional weaknesses of Western men. You must learn how to make customers feel lust, guilt, responsibility, jealousy, and a myriad of other emotions. This isn't that easy as no Thai man would ever fall for the silly little games that come from this but many (certainly not all) Western men are unequipped to handle these games. One of my best mates likes to say (when referring to Western customers dealing with Thai bar gals) that "the gals have the home field advantage and many of us don't even know the rules to this game."

Okay, now as a western woman, i have a handle on the idea that I have to make a man feel lust in order to get him to like me. And be umm, sweet and not mind sports and such.

But emotional weaknesses/ That does not make any sense to me. I was brought up to believe that a woman should pretend that a man has NO emotional weaknesses even when it is blindingly obvois that he does. (Like, for example, noticing that your man seems afraid of heights and saying "gee honey, I am afraid of heights, can we get down from here" rather than comforting him.

So in short, I am realizing that perhaps I have never seen Western men accurately at all, that the ridiculous stereotypes of Hollywood have blinded me to the reality of men. And obviously, Thai women don't have this handicap. C'mon, guys, give me a hand in human understanding over here, I promise i'll use it only for good.

You know it's like this, the more i understand men, the better I am able to treat them. Seeing men innaccurately leads to hurting them inadvertantly, I believe.

So please, give me some insight! I wanted to travel to understand my world better, and i am more confused than ever. Help me get towards the light, please?

Thanks,

V.

p.s I am on a tiny keyboard, please excuse my typos/

Hi V.

Always been told to that woman want the following.

1) Feel wanted, loved and admired.

2) Their partner thinks kindly of them.

3) Whether right or wrong they take your side.

4) Good mannered enough not to belittle you in public, not rven in jest.

5) Give emotional support.

6) Partner is always appreciative.

Guess what men want the same................................We have feelings, Thai women know how to push buttons 1 to 5.

Thanks. I have to do some thinking about hwo western women are taught to deal with men's feelings.

if I may ask, are you more comfortable asking a Thai women for emotional support than a Western one?

[sbk]

Mmmm... sorry but this is not a forum for men to come and talk about women but rather a forum for women to discuss issues important to themselves.,

I, for one, find this topic to be unnecessarily inflammatory as well as perpetuating gross generalizations.

///CLOSED///