Question For Long Term Expats

[prefabs]

Living in Thailand has lost a lot of it's appeal over the last 2 years or so. Before I came here I was warned by a workmate who was leaving that the Farang ATM thing was actually getting worse. He also said that a few of his mates had enough, for some reason all around the 9-10 years mark. All left with their Thai wives to go various places. None of them have come back, for the same reasons that tourists will stop coming.

Visa changes, cost of living(although still cheaper than in the West), strong baht, civil disobedience, crime, predudice againts farangs in many places (wonder who first promoted the idea that Thais are a master race) are all reasons to be apprehensive about being here. I have been here 4 years and, to be honest, some things grate on me to the extent I have been seriously thinking about trying somewhere else. I am not a a pensioner, have no ties to a wife or property, so maybe I have a different perspective.

[RPETER65]

I have been living in Thailand for the last two years. The longer I stay the more at home I feel. I live in a small village about 35 kilometers from the nearest large town. I have never felt people here put up with me because they expect money, most of the time it is hard to get them to take money when they help me. I have always felt welcome in what ever Thai circles I find myself. I don't get caught up in Thai politics, so all of the problems they are having don't bother me. For me this is a very relaxing enviroment to retire in.I read a lot of comments on jumping through hoops to stay here as a farang, I am not sure what that is all about, as I only have to cross the border very 90 days, and I enjoy the trips. To live at the same standard in the U.S. that I have here would mean at least 3 times the income.

[Jambo]

Been living and working in Thailand for 5 years now.

Im still trying to learn the language on a daily basis.

This really helps me to feel like i am fitting into the country.

I also like the attention that i get as a ferang. You can really play it too your advantage and it makes day to day experiences a lot more fun than back home in the UK.

[1000baht]

I love thailand and have been calling it "home". But Home for me is still back in Canada, home is where your family is. Even though I have no intent on returning there, it will always be my home! Thailand is my home away from home you could say. Though I love christmas time and Thailand just does not do it for me....always good to return home to your family at chirstmas time...

[PeaceBlondie]

Didn't we recently answer this question a few times? Here we go again.

Comfortable, more than I was in two other countries where I lived shorter times. It feels even better than home, I guess. We are building a house. That should do it for the next 39 years.

[aussiechick]

15 years here and yes - "comfotable foreigner" right at home.

Really couldn't imagine being anywhere else. Do go to Oz about every 18 months but it isn't home any more. 4 days and I am ready to leave.

[torrenova]

Had some more thoughts and observations.

I feel (rightly or wrongly) that those who say they are comfortable here tend to fall into four main categories.

First you have the retired who don't have a business and are just looking to relax and enjoy a less stressful life.

Secondly you have those with families. In this I make a distinction between those who have young kids and those who have only a Thai partner, whether or not they have grown up kids or none at all. The latter seem far more content whilst the former, which include myself, seem to have more gripes.

Thirdly, there are the offshore or partial workers who work outside Thailand and come here during their time off. I sometimes think they are perhaps the most contented.

Fourthly, you have the younger people making business here. This can be very rewarding, as it was for me, but it is getting more and more stressful and you always wonder how much to invest here because they might just change the rules one day and make your assets near worthless. This latest chaos with the airport is a prime example. Following last year's stupid and over zealous closure of entertainment venues, I am under no illusion that business valuations have been hard hit in many areas in the tourist sector and I count my lucky chickens that I started to divest in 2007.

Of course there are those who are employed here as expats (or on local salaries as well) who are either here as a means to an end or who made a deliberate choice to come to Thailand. In many cases I feel they are less directly affected (though their companies may be).

I suppose in the end we all have our reasons for being here or elsewhere but I know the rationale for why I cam here and did not leave no longer exists. I am not trapped by circumstances although I have a Thai wife and daughter. I suppose I am really waiting to see which way the wind blows and plan accordingly.

[sbk]

I can't actually remember the recent one PB.....

20 years here and its home. But, when I go back to the US and stay with my family for awhile, it feels like home too. Home is where the heart is. Cliched, but true.

[torrenova]

I can't actually remember the recent one PB.....

20 years here and its home. But, when I go back to the US and stay with my family for awhile, it feels like home too. Home is where the heart is. Cliched, but true.

Can't say that about the UK. Perhaps though that is because I left home so young, travelled first around the UK, then Europe for years before working in the City for a few years and then heading off to Asia where I also moved around from country to country.

I can enjoy a short break in the UK but I could never call it home.

[lazygourmet]

Thank you for this topic...

Just made me realized that I have nearly spent one fifth (8years) of my life in Thailand, this not including previous holidays and business trips!

In my own country, except semesters at boarding school, I lived a mere two years in a row.

Thus, I have never considered Belgium as home, even by having parents and properties there; nor Thailand, which I could consider as a permanent -but not definitive- temporary shelter.

Also, I have a got a wonderful partner and she's got the travel bug ; so who knows?!?

[PhilHarries]

M yhome for 5 years and i feel like a stranger in the uk,hate the place to be honest and only go back to see family,but its still a grind.if thailand goes tits up then will look for anywhere but the uk.

Amazing the amount of people who trot out the same hate vibes about their home nations.

I'm from the UK and since '92 have spent one year back there. I quite enjoyed that year but was glad to be moving back to south east Asia. These days I really enjoy my visits back there, apart from seeing family and friends it gives me a reality check.

If Thailand goes tits up the chances are you'll go back to the UK to start over, it's the one place you know you can go without visa or work permit hassles. Okay the EU is also open to you but you may as well be in the UK as anywhere in Europe.

Never forget you are where you are because you were born in a developed country and benefited from the associated education system. Would you rather you were born a Thai into a poor farming family up in Issan or even a middle class family? I don't think so. Your British passport bestows priveledges on you much of the rest of the world can only dream of.

As for me, home is wherever I am at the time someone asks and right now that's Seoul. Not particularly enjoying it but knuckling down and getting on with the job with one eye on the return to VN, plus my R&R in Thailand .

[kangeroo]

well i lived in thai for 3 years ,did not work got bored but still loved the place . Now i live not far from Korat with my thai family but i go home to aus every 6 months which keeps the bills payed for the 6 months that i am in thai + clears the head i can go see my doctor ,brother and a few people and also get a new visa . it works well for me it gives me a break from both places and i dont become just a zombie.

cheers.

[Kerryd]

Comfortable Foreigner.

But then, I've been fairly comfortable wherever I've been. I have noticed an increased level of discomfort though, every time I have to return to the "home" country.

In fact, each time I do go there (3 times in the last 5 years), it just reminds me how much more I like it in Thailand.

[thaihome]

My wife and I have a small wall hanging we have taken with us on the 7 moves in the 10 years. "Home is where the Heart Is". Home has nothing to with the country, it has to do with the home.

TH

PS Another leading thread that allows people to bitch about Thailand.

Edited December 3, 2008 by thaihome

[prefabs]

My wife and I have a small wall hanging we have taken with us on the 7 moves in the 10 years. "Home is where the Heart Is". Home has nothing to with the country, it has to do with the home.

TH

PS Another leading thread that allows people to bitch about Thailand.

Bitching is allowed as are the complimentary posts in this thread. There are some people who would like to ban all negative thoughts about Thais, Thailand etc. But life is not like that, there are pros and cons in all walks of life. Please don't pontificate about people bitching, your last sentence is actually a bitch

[Maizefarmer]

This question has probably been asked before but reading Garro,s latest topic regarding whether you are happy to spend the rest of your life in Thailand he stated that despite living there for 6 years it still does not feel like home and it got me wondering if others feel the same.So if you have lived in Thailand or anywhere else,i myself,am emigrating too Vietnam for good on Saturday with my family,for say a period of over 2 years do you feel truly at home or do you feel still like you are a foreigner?

6 years - not long enough I would think to call any country away from that in which you grew up in to be called home.

Try 15 or 20years - when the contacts from "back home" have moved on, when parents have passed on and brothers/sisters have married and emmigrated.... and whatever else it is that "connects" you to back "home".

The less of those contacts and connections there are to your country of birth and where you grew up, there are, the more easy you are going to be able to call your adopted country "home".

Its a transitional thing that takes many many years to embbed in your mind.

[totlanh]

6 years - not long enough I would think to call any country away from that in which you grew up in to be called home.

Try 15 or 20years - when the contacts from "back home" have moved on, when parents have passed on and brothers/sisters have married and emmigrated.... and whatever else it is that "connects" you to back "home".

The less of those contacts and connections there are to your country of birth and where you grew up, there are, the more easy you are going to be able to call your adopted country "home".

Its a transitional thing that takes many many years to embbed in your mind.

Maizefarmer,

I think this is a very good assesment of what truly makes a place home oppossed to being in a transitionary period.

[ubonjoe]

Thailand is home for me and has been for a long time.

Don't have a home anywhere else.

Got a wife, child, other family and a house thats all I need.

[applecrumble]

I have never really had a "home", per se, as I moved about every 6 months my whole life. Thailand is the longest I have ever stayed anywhere! I do feel very at home here but I am still a foreigner and will never be accepted into the Thai circle. I am okay with that for now, but eventually I will probably go back to my own people.

Feel the same girlx. Been here 10 years already with my husband due to his work, love Thailand and feel very at home here...... but still feel I'm a foreigner. Will stay as long as we can and be happy to, but........

[CockneyGit]

I've been here for over six years, and it has never felt like home.

Each of the last four Xmases I've promised myself that it'd be my last in this place, this year I won't bother making that promise...

Just coming up on 10 years here and while I don't consider this to be "home" as such, this is where my house is..!!!

Even better than that riddle, I will be back in God's Country for this Christmas with my little ones - YAY!!!

[farangnahrak]

Been heavily involved with the Thai community for the last 4.5 years . . . but only on month 4 of living here . . . mid-twenties . . . I own and run my own company in the US from BKK to pay the bills. I even have a Thai employee, in the US

Over the years I find myself feeling more and more comfortable, less of an outcast and more of a participant of a strange game. I speak pretty dam_n good thai, and I find as my thai improves, the harder it is for a thai to think of me as a non-thai. I'm starting to feel as if I'm being invited into social circles just like as if I was back in the US with english speakers. The feeling that I'm a circus freak for their enjoyment has mostly disappeared.

Of course the con-men that want to make me an ATM will never disappear, and the laws are always anti-foreigner, but whip out fluent Thai and they come around.

I'm convinced that when I have a perfect accent, I'll be considered a Thai . . . a few more years?

That being said, Thailand is my 2nd home. My heart (and stomach) will always be in the US.

[Birdman]

22 years here - seen and done almost everything - feel as home as in my country of origin, but that does not say, that I would die for it.

[Soutpeel]

I'm convinced that when I have a perfect accent, I'll be considered a Thai . . . a few more years?

Dont count on it....even if you had PR and then citizenship....you still would be a farang...you will never be Thai

[farangnahrak]

Dont count on it....even if you had PR and then citizenship....you still would be a farang...you will never be Thai

Anyone with citizenship can validate this? Having citizenship doesn't make you not look like a typical tourist, so it at least this makes sense . . .

[Theyreallrubbish]

16 years. Been personally very fortunate in Thailand but feel less at home now than at any time in the past.

There has been a definite change in Thailand in the last few years. Its no longer a country of happy smiling helpful people. I don't think the Thais are as happy as they were and feel sad for the country that while its gained materially its people have lost something that made their own country something special.

[HorseDoctor]

When I'm on my property and with the animals , I feel happy and at home, but as soon as I step out, I am a freak, " Farang" alien that is stared at and spoken about as if she has a third arm protruding from her forehead.

So no, I do not feel at home in Thailand.

I get a lot of hostility on this forum for my less than favorable views on Thais, but I am betting this comes from men that have set themselves up with a very monetarily dependent Thai female who eases their way- provides sex on demand along with personal servant duties and insulates them from the more anti " Farang " elements. (how I HATE that term )

Try being a woman, used to independence - in this unbelievably sexist, xenophobic culture.

I want to leave, particularly after the events of the last week and I'm about to go ahead and spend an obscene amount of money to fly the horses - but I'll be damned if I'll do it out of Bangkok. I'd rather give that money to Malaysia where for some reason the airlines don't insist I use an " Agent" who inflates the price by 40 % .

Yes we are ATMs to Thais, as soon as you stop giving money, as soon as their use for you subsides-the smile goes away and you get the real face..

[farangnahrak]

When I'm on my property and with the animals , I feel happy and at home, but as soon as I step out, I am a freak, " Farang" alien that is stared at and spoken about as if she has a third arm protruding from her forehead.

So no, I do not feel at home in Thailand.

I get a lot of hostility on this forum for my less than favorable views on Thais, but I am betting this comes from men that have set themselves up with a very monetarily dependent Thai female who eases their way- provides sex on demand along with personal servant duties and insulates them from the more anti " Farang " elements. (how I HATE that term )

Try being a woman, used to independence - in this unbelievably sexist, xenophobic culture.

I want to leave, particularly after the events of the last week and I'm about to go ahead and spend an obscene amount of money to fly the horses - but I'll be damned if I'll do it out of Bangkok. I'd rather give that money to Malaysia where for some reason the airlines don't insist I use an " Agent" who inflates the price by 40 % .

Yes we are ATMs to Thais, as soon as you stop giving money, as soon as their use for you subsides-the smile goes away and you get the real face..

HorseDoctor do you by any chance own a ranch in Krabi? And although I admit there are quite a few shady farang making us all look bad, not everyone is a sex tourist ok! My Thai gf makes ~100k baht per month, she doesn't need an ATM.

Convince the con-men that you know another place to get a much better price (make up a much lower fake price), and watch how fast they drop the price Works all the time.

[Soutpeel]

Anyone with citizenship can validate this? Having citizenship doesn't make you not look like a typical tourist, so it at least this makes sense . . .

How exactly does a farang with Thai citizenship actually look ??.....what do you think happens when a farang gets Thai citizenship ?...they put a red stamp on your forehead ??

I know farangs who are Thai citizens and have spent 30 years + in country, and in their own words they are still considered farangs...not that the guys in question actually give a sh*t what Thai people actually think of them.

Personally, I am a dual national (not Thailand) and even after spending 26 years in my adopted country, going to school, higher education, army and working there, I am to this day still not fully considered a citizen/local in that country and the country in question is nowhere as xenophobic/nationalistic as Thailand is...

[Birdman]

I'm convinced that when I have a perfect accent, I'll be considered a Thai . . . a few more years?

It will only happen if you live exactly (! - religion, food, clothes, language, behaviour, preferences, enjoying soap operas on TV,.....everything) like the Thais in that community for years. Otherwise you will be considered somehow closer to them than the average farang.

It is not impossible. Chock dee!

Edited December 5, 2008 by Birdman

[livinthailandos]

not an expat here but been here off and on 4 years though, have had to rechange some things an rethink some things, I've never felt at home especially back in the U.S. disliked the fact that racism is always involved, at least here I see a more global audience from people from other countries which is always interesting to have at least to. Really can't complain about thai society or anything here anymore after the airport incident, never really felt home anywhere, have other places prefer due to certain reasons but forgive thai's as in 60 years they have never made any governmental progress just 60 years of overthrown prime minister and coup's. Will be here how long unsure due to this lastest event that highlights many many things.