Discovered Sister In Law On Internet Sex Sites

[sassienie]

My wife and I had an awful shock recently.

My wife’s brother and his 32 year old wife were married only 7 months ago. His wife is very educated, has a master’s degree and is a high flyer executive for an insurance company in Chiang Mai.

My daughter gave me a tip off that something strange was going on with her Uncle and aunt. So this led me to do an Internet search.

2 weeks ago I discovered my wife’s sister in law’s profile on MSN. From there I found she has a profile on a social networking site called *Tagged* and after doing some more searches in Google found that she had also been advertising herself on dating sites.

In Tagged and on the dating websites she described herself as single looking for a guy. So I created a profile in Tagged as an alias to find out what was gong on.

Anyway to cut a long story short, it transpired that she is running a pay to view web cam show with the knowledge of my brother in law and that she went on Tagged so as to advertise her contact details for the cam chat.

I thought I’d seen everything in my lifetime, but this really took me by surprise. Because if anyone saw this upper class professional girl, they would never have imagined that this sort of person could ever be involved in such activities.

I emailed my wife’s sister in law and explained that we all know what is going on. She replied and said, it is because her work has dried up with the insurance company but tried to tone everything down by saying that her Tagged activities is only for fun. My brother in law and his wife did not realise that I had copied parts of her website and chats onto my computer as evidence. I sent copies to my wife’s 4 other brothers, who somehow managed to convince them to delete the profile from Tagged. I took this action because my wife is worried about her families reputation and worried that her mother may find out.

But although all my brother in laws showed concern after I informed them what is going on, their re-action to this news was rather less dramatic than I would have thought.

So now I am wondering, is working in Thailand within the sex industries acceptable to most Thai families and embedded into and as part of Thai culture?

FAQ

Will you tell us the website details?

Ans: NO

[britmaveric]

Sure lots of professionals/hi-so do these sort of things.

Better question why are you getting involved in something that is clearly not your business?

[bonobo]

Sure lots of professionals/hi-so do these sort of things.

Better question why are you getting involved in something that is clearly not your business?

I have to agree with britmaveric here.

She is certainly an adult and mature enough to make a decision like that, and her husband is fully aware of this situation. I rather think it is up to them to decide what is best for them.

[mrtoad]

Why intefere? It's their life, and they have made the choice to do it. Or is it more that you can't deal with the fact that she is an Upper class professional? Or you actually enjoy the snopping around?

BTW, are you getting many hits on your account in Tagged?

[MJP]

Yep I say what's the problem here. She's not into hardcore porn. Just think of all those people that find out their Gran is a swinger!

[whatawonderfulday]

I agree with the other posters and why are you getting involved anyway? Especially stooping so low as doing something underhand in applying an alias to "try and catch her out".

Frankly as they have also said what she does is her business and hers alone. IMHO it is you that is bringing shame on the family by your deceitful and prying activities. Shame on you or is it perhaps your own life is so dull you are getting perhaps a kick out of it ?

[stiggy]

personally id be telling you to keep your nose out .Why do this under the pretense of shock and protecting her family then post it on a forum ?

[neverdie]

I want to know if it was paying well?

[JoeThePoster]

is working in Thailand within the sex industries acceptable to most Thai families and embedded into and as part of Thai culture?

I looked and looked but couldn't find that mentioned anywhere in the user manual. Sigh, must wait for the 2009 edition then.

[mrtoad]

Maybe the OP could change his avitar to this.

[Groongthep]

It's unanimous. Mind your own business.

[whatawonderfulday]

It's unanimous. Mind your own business.

Yip know that's agreed give us the website

[mrtoad]

It's unanimous. Mind your own business.

Yip know that's agreed give us the website

You could start with Tagged, and try and find the OP's account first.

Shouldn't be difficult to find......

Edited December 30, 2008 by mrtoad

[pumpuiman]

I sent copies to my wife’s 4 other brothers, who somehow managed to convince them to delete the profile from Tagged. I took this action because my wife is worried about her families reputation and worried that her mother may find out.

Your worried about reputation....so you mail copies out to the family?

Are you trying to ruin this girls life?

[imaneggspurt]

Are you jealous ! ...by sending out her details you have id say shot yourself in the foot,.after all there is no immediate concern /connection to you,. so she swings/likes sex outside the marriage, not for all but some enjoy, as for upper class educated,dont kid yourself its not only issan buffalo riders at it ,.

[mijan24]

Not only have you shot yourself in the FOOT - in time to come it (reporting to the brothers-in-law) will come back and bite you elsewhere -"Blood is much thicker than water".

[bonobo]

Are you jealous ! ...by sending out her details you have id say shot yourself in the foot,.after all there is no immediate concern /connection to you,. so she swings/likes sex outside the marriage, not for all but some enjoy, as for upper class educated,dont kid yourself its not only issan buffalo riders at it ,.

I would imagine the bar workers are more from the less financially-advantaged groups in Thailand, but imaneggspurt is correct about the swingers/sex outside of marriage demographics. With some degree of knowledge here, I would say that the majority of people in Thailand who engage in this sort of recreation are in fact well-educated professionals. And as far as having a pay-for-view webcam site, an in-depth study by the Wall Street Journal of the US online adult sex industry showed that most webcam sites were in fact run by college-educated men and women, so I would not be surprised if that is the same here in Thailand.

[Samuian]

How abolutely shocking!

This result one gets if diggin' around in other peoples business - none of yours!

[Ulysses G.]

Is there a phone number or e-mail address available? I want to let her know exactly what I think about her extra curricular activities!

[mrtoad]

Is there a phone number or e-mail address available? I want to let her know exactly what I think about her extra curricular activities!

I think they are in the same city as you UG.

[snuggzzz]

I think you're a bit of a voyeur, but with a cruel streak. To profess family values, then telling her brothers, why didn't you just keep quiet...??? I think you have now drawn more attention to yourself. The family do not want to know the sexual exploits of their Sister, neither would I if I was in there situation...!!!

As for the Sister, well, you will be considered a Pervert, interfering in something that does not concern you. She maybe making some money in these frugal financial times that YOU have highlighted to all an sundry...............

[dotcom]

The husband knew about it?

You sole purpose was to make your in-laws family hate you.

Good Job!!!!!

More than likely an education in "face" is coming sooner rather than later.

btw Did "Mom" surf much over at 'Tagged"?

Edited December 30, 2008 by dotcom

[sassienie]

As for getting involved:

My daughter was the first to tell my wife about the situation who found out about this when my wife`s sister in law asked my daughter for advice about how to deal with a client met on the Internet who she believed may be a scammer.

This lead to my wife becoming concerned about her brother, as she thought that his wife was planning to find someone else and leave him. Also that this girl was using the family name for her activities on the Internet.

So my wife begged me to do some checking, in which I reluctantly did.

Those who say that this is none of my business, I`m not disputing that, and as for being brought in as a fool guy between the family, maybe this is the case.

Maybe I`m old fashion, but can understand my wife`s concern for her brother and not wanting her mother to know about this.

That`s my opinion.

[bonobo]

Maybe I`m old fashion, but can understand my wife`s concern for her brother and not wanting her mother to know about this.

So because you didn't want your wife's mother to find out, you sent all this information to her four brothers?

[whiterussian]

Im with the OP. Its a road to ruin. If she was doing it for the extra cash, she sounds like a biyatch. Get a haircut. Get a job. Sell your fancy car.

Dont go flashing on the net!

Having said that, the neighbour here in a 3.5 mill house on a mooban is supporting two parents, and a son at private school. (we dont ask where she goes from 11pm to 4am).

Also just happened to see my Thai friends girlfriend on a 'karaoke' website yesterday (he has an MA - good banking job).

Probably the best thing to do would be to post some of the evidence online so we can decide if you were in fact too nosy, or actually saving her from a road to ruin.

"Going 'outside' for a shower" is entrenched in Thai culture... but then so is feudalism and increasingly class systems. Ever seen a tiny village with the head of the village living in a huge great mansion, while the rest of the village live in breeze block huts? High so's.. urrghh.

Edited December 30, 2008 by UKWEBPRO

[Jimjim]

I emailed my wife’s sister in law and explained that we all know what is going on. She replied and said, it is because her work has dried up with the insurance company but tried to tone everything down by saying that her Tagged activities is only for fun. My brother in law and his wife did not realise that I had copied parts of her website and chats onto my computer as evidence. I sent copies to my wife’s 4 other brothers, who somehow managed to convince them to delete the profile from Tagged. I took this action because my wife is worried about her families reputation and worried that her mother may find out.

Goodness, what an ass you are. This was not your problem and you should not have done anything nor got involved. Who cares if she is stripping on webcam for money? It's her business. The only situation where you should get involved is if she is locked up in some bordello in Amsterdam against her will. Otherwise, just let her live her life. Worried if her mother may find out? Uh, your actions practically insured that or at least did more for that to be a possibility than if you had done nothing. It's clear your wife's actions are also selfish in that she's worried more about her family's reputation than in the poor financial state of her sister-in-law.

It's called compassion. You and your wife need large, large doses of it and need to get your heads out of your asses. All your wife seems to care about is herself and the family name. Not really admirable motivations in most cases, such as this one.

Edited December 30, 2008 by Jimjim

[wensiensheng]

Doing some checking around at the request of your wife, out of concern for the brother in law is fine. What you discover is then for you and your wife to know and not interfere, unless one party or the other is being severely disadvantaged and you want to help them out. Telling a bunch of other people is out of order. Having discovered no party is being disadvantaged, in fact they are both in on it, means it's none of your business....if it ever was. Your relatives can hardly do anything else other than smile it away, without embarressing themselves.

Look on the bright side, your sister in law and her husband tried to make some money by themselves (and maybe enjoyed it) rather than coming to you and asking for a loan .

Is it part of Thai culture to indulge in risque sexual activities ....they are human, right? So what does culture have to do with it?

[mrtoad]

Maybe I`m old fashion, but can understand my wife`s concern for her brother and not wanting her mother to know about this.

So because you didn't want your wife's mother to find out, you sent all this information to her four brothers?

My thoughts exactly.

I wouldn't feel to comfortable if I was the OP, as he's been meddling where he wasn't wanted, and it could come back to haunt him. Major loss of Face.

Hope he lives in a bungallow.

[bonobo]

Im with the OP. Its a road to ruin. If she was doing it for the extra cash, she sounds like a biyatch. Get a haircut. Get a job. Sell your fancy car.

Dont go flashing on the net!

Not to get into a moralistic war here, but it is OK for Angelina Jolie to flash her butt on the big screen, for all those models to pose in Sports Illustrated with only some body paint on, but it is somehow wrong for this adult woman, with her husband's consent none-the-less, to flash on a webcam?

[Mali1964]

Not only have you shot yourself in the FOOT - in time to come it (reporting to the brothers-in-law) will come back and bite you elsewhere -"Blood is much thicker than water".

Thinking that myself when these 4 brother's see how low you have stooped they may pay you a little visit.

Keep ya nose out in future its much safer.