Government agency apologizes for alienating Kingdom’s “loyal visitors”

BANGKOK – Immigration authorities say they will turn a blind eye when the Tourism Authority of Thailand launches a multi-million dollar advertising blitz later this month that targets what one official called “the familiar faces of Thailand, our old friends the pedophiles, arms dealers and drug smugglers.”

Coordinating advertising agency J. Walter Thompson (JWT), which is branding the promotion “Anyone Goes,” said it will hire American John Mark Karr as the campaign’s face.

Karr, a Bangkok English teacher who was falsely accused of the murder of school girl JonBenet Ramsey in 2006 and then humiliatingly detained and extradited to the US, is said to be the perfect spokesman to convince those who formerly loved Thailand that now is the time to return.

“Before Thailand thought they could do without people like John Mark Karr, those sociopaths were the bread and butter of the Thai tourism industry,” said JWT executive Peter Schell. “As an inept loser who kept to himself and made no trouble for anyone, but appreciated the warm smiles and anonymity provided by the Kingdom, John Mark Karr is the new, old face of Thailand.”

TAT Governor Phornsiri Manoharn has unofficially launched the campaign with an apology to “anyone who felt unwelcome in the last few years. And by anyone, I mean anyone. Jemaah Islamiah operatives? Thailand welcomes you. Nigerian coke runners? Come on over. Even swirly-faced pedophile -- you too are welcome.”

Immigration authorities have agreed to support “Anyone Goes” by relaxing immigration to their pre-1970s standards. The laws then forbid only “those who have hair below the shoulder, wear shabby clothes, smell funny and carry guitars.”

Frequent travelers have responded positively to the new entry rules. Jim Jones, who was turned back to Brisbane during his previous attempt to enter Thailand after he was caught with a suitcase full of child pornography, video equipment and animal costumes, said the Thai Embassy in Australia has already granted him a three-month visa good for anytime in 2009. “Can’t wait,” he added.

Analysts predicted the influx to Thailand of pedophiles, smugglers and fugitives would lead to huge revenue increases in “one-room, monthly rentals and overstay charges.” TAT Governor Phornsiri, however, did declare there was one exception to the “Anyone Goes” campaign: “Paul Handley, don’t even think about it.”

Source: not the nation.

moved to the jokes forum since it is from a known source of "not the news"

That reminds me. I wonder how many Pakistani nut sellers there are in BKK? 10,000? There must be some kind of mafia that protect them cuz they sure as heck don't have visa or work permits.

If Immigration want to do a round-up of smelly people I would suggest Kao San Road might be a good place to start.

It appears a loon has recently infiltrated ThaiVisa, some weird threads appearing here.

Best if members do not respond to these threads, other wise it will only encourage these sort of cranks.

It appears a loon has recently infiltrated ThaiVisa, some weird threads appearing here.

Best if members do not respond to these threads, other wise it will only encourage these sort of cranks.

It appears you have no sense of humour.