How Good Is My Lady Should I Marry

[TJAN]

oh, i what do your 3 grown up children make of this??? .... if my dad was dating a uni student in Thailand ( hang on i would never let it happen! )

Your lucky you are not my son,you think you can tell your sane father what to do,that would be the day that my childeren tell me what I can and can not do.

[a2396]

please, get a nurse too, so if you are left without her someone will know and care.

A private nurse in Australia? I would expect way more expensive than what this Thai lady might cost.

[Tyree D.]

Means 30 years of age gap. SHAME. I'm saying this from my point of view. If I was his daughter, I wouldn't dare to look at him straight in the eyes anymore. Do you think she is in love with the old sick guy? awww... I think Im gonna cry.

Shame on you!

For your insults on a sick man. He deserves happiness as everbody else. The age gap is irrelevant - men always go for younger women.

I wish the OP good luck on this difficult path.

I like old.

Back to the topic...The thing that got to me was she quit her job after you started supporting her. A good lady keeps her work even after she finds a rich man. Thai women know western men leave wills. Issan women always see friends and family picked up by westerners sweeping them away like Cinderella and they get jealous wanting to keep up with the Joneses. Plus, 22 year old women from any culture are unpredictable. Just because they are from a university getting good grades doesn't mean they will be a good independent person. When I was 25 my cut off age for dating was 23. I'm 29 and it is still 23. I tried dating a 22 year old from California and she wanted to party all the time, party all the time, party all the time.

But as a fact, the last woman I was with in Thailand was a then-20 year old (I was 26) from Issan fluent in English and grew up in New York. She said we were just a fling and I wasn't the only guy and knew it but she said she gets criticized by her peers for not getting any money out of all the men she sees. I still keep in touch because she knows how to use a computer. She wants to go to Canada but only makes 11,000 baht a month and refuses to take money from her current boyfriend.

[a2396]

sorry i forgot to mention she is 22

Shame on you. You could be her father. Don't you have any self respect at all? what does your own children think about this?

and honestly.... Do you think she is with you because what? uh? get a nurse, have a bit of respect for your self, if not for your family, I would be TOTALLY embarrassed if you were my father. "Yes, yes.. take me to Australia, I take care of you for a short while take all the money I can, while I look for a real guy in falangland" ha!

So, what's your age limit constraints?? What degree of difference is acceptable to you?

[neverdie]

Strangely enough & I know most of you will find this hard to believe, but NORMALLY people get married because they are in love, naturally there are also other reasons that people get married - thats up to them.

GD makes a very valid point regarding the Australian Immigration Process & let me tell you the guys and gals at Immigration are no fools & of course they are going to look at this one very closely. Its not an option to import a carer because it is cheaper OR because it provides her with a finacially secure future after the OP passes on, that just won't happen. What immigration will actually be looking at is are these people in a true and loving relationship & is it genuine OR is the relationship about something else. Ultimately the OP is going to be examined alot closer by Australian Immigration than by people here at TV who don't even have the benifit of the doubt to know that the information provided by the OP is Genuine or not. AND SO THEY SHOULD BE!

As I said before, if the OP isnt a troll then obviously a few of my comments are a bit harsh, but if he wasnt prepared to hear peoples honest opinions regarding a sugardaddy relationship & a false marriage set up on the previso that an incapacitated person would be cared for an unknown period in exchange for a small amount of money, well I am afraid perhaps he maybe shouldnt of posted. This isnt a true and loving relationship based on mutual respect, its got to do with invalidity care & inheritance.....thats the grounds listed above in the OP's original post.

Re-read the OP's initial post, its all there. Show me where he states he is in love or she is. If the OP had left out the bit about the 'Neurological illness' then I would bet there would be alot more posts coming along the lines of being a troll.

Perhaps the OP should ask himself a couple of questions. First, when he was 22, would he have wanted to been in a relation ship with an old lady in her mid 50ies, would he have wanted to be wiping her backside several times a day? What is he going to do when his 'wife' OR 'carer' goes to the shops one day & doesnt return?

Generally in life, if it squarks like a duck, walks like a duck, ITS A DUCK!

[JUDAS]

I don't believe the O/P is a Troll. I do believe that some of the reponses to his post have been..........I don't know what to say, I'm actually quite shocked. To the O/P, I wish you the best of health over the coming years.

Agree with you ukme. Seems to be a contest on a lot of threads here to be the first to say 'troll' So what if the OP is not genuine, treat it as a hypothetical question or ignore it. Sounds like a bloody playground here sometimes....

To the OP: If you and the lady concerned are happy with any arrangement you come to then go for it.

[Boater]

oh, i what do your 3 grown up children make of this??? .... if my dad was dating a uni student in Thailand ( hang on i would never let it happen! )

Interesting. So you control your father do you boater?

only in Thailand

i dont want him to actually believe a young, beautiful 25 Year old Thai would be interested in a riverting conversation with a 60 year old english man followed by the prospects of a romeo and juliet relationship

but he has learned already ! ....... he has been saved ( or more his money saved )

[Boater]

oh, i what do your 3 grown up children make of this??? .... if my dad was dating a uni student in Thailand ( hang on i would never let it happen! )

Your lucky you are not my son,you think you can tell your sane father what to do,that would be the day that my childeren tell me what I can and can not do.

its called protecting

i have seen on too many occasions old man with young girls which are nothing but FAKE relationships

i have know 2 of my clients with girls 15-20 years younger then them.... i warned them they where only after money, but they said theyt where having fun !!!...... now both of them are BROKE ( both came here with alot of money ) girls have taken everything and now they have no money, do these girls stay with them for love.... do they f^&K....

sorry to rant on, but 4 years here this kind of subject really pisses me off........ tired of seeing peoples live detroyed by this cunning girls....

but as mentioned above by an another poster, look in the mirrior

[neverdie]

oh, i what do your 3 grown up children make of this??? .... if my dad was dating a uni student in Thailand ( hang on i would never let it happen! )

Your lucky you are not my son,you think you can tell your sane father what to do,that would be the day that my childeren tell me what I can and can not do.

its called protecting

i have seen on too many occasions old man with young girls which are nothing but FAKE relationships

i have know 2 of my clients with girls 15-20 years younger then them.... i warned them they where only after money, but they said theyt where having fun !!!...... now both of them are BROKE ( both came here with alot of money ) girls have taken everything and now they have no money, do these girls stay with them for love.... do they f^&K....

sorry to rant on, but 4 years here this kind of subject really pisses me off........ tired of seeing peoples live detroyed by this cunning girls....

but as mentioned above by an another poster, look in the mirrior

Interesting boater. So did the ladies just slowly milk them of all their money or did something more drastic happen?

[beechguy]

sorry i forgot to mention she is 22

Shame on you. You could be her father. Don't you have any self respect at all? what does your own children think about this?

and honestly.... Do you think she is with you because what? uh? get a nurse, have a bit of respect for your self, if not for your family, I would be TOTALLY embarrassed if you were my father. "Yes, yes.. take me to Australia, I take care of you for a short while take all the money I can, while I look for a real guy in falangland" ha!

Pop corn go back and read the opening post.....

They have lived together for 12 months...

'She has offered to take care of me'....

'She shows me respect'

The OP is fully aware of the financial aspects

The girl is fully aware he has a progressive degenerative illness

She is 22 not 16..... read...'she has offered to take care of me'

or would you have the OP dissappoint her... dash her hopes...and leave her to the sex industry where she may have to go with many father figues in one night, just to provide 6k a month for her family to feel she is a good daughter,so ending up with no respect at all. Being exposed to all the associated risks. Ah yes, another embittered Thai lady let down by a farang.

I guess in your world what you feel is 'moral' outweighs compassion and thoughtfulness..

Means 30 years of age gap. SHAME. I'm saying this from my point of view. If I was his daughter, I wouldn't dare to look at him straight in the eyes anymore. Do you think she is in love with the old sick guy? awww... I think Im gonna cry.

Not the same situation of course, but read the other day about marriages that survive the odds. One began when an 18 year old american women began dating a 41 year old divorced guy. 8 years later and a couple of kids, they are as happy as ever, and the man gets along very well with the girls parents. Also, noticed that Catherine Zeta-Jones is about 24 years younger than Michael Douglas, You have a problem with that?

Edited February 8, 2009 by beechguy

[neverdie]

sorry i forgot to mention she is 22

Shame on you. You could be her father. Don't you have any self respect at all? what does your own children think about this?

and honestly.... Do you think she is with you because what? uh? get a nurse, have a bit of respect for your self, if not for your family, I would be TOTALLY embarrassed if you were my father. "Yes, yes.. take me to Australia, I take care of you for a short while take all the money I can, while I look for a real guy in falangland" ha!

Pop corn go back and read the opening post.....

They have lived together for 12 months...

'She has offered to take care of me'....

'She shows me respect'

The OP is fully aware of the financial aspects

The girl is fully aware he has a progressive degenerative illness

She is 22 not 16..... read...'she has offered to take care of me'

or would you have the OP dissappoint her... dash her hopes...and leave her to the sex industry where she may have to go with many father figues in one night, just to provide 6k a month for her family to feel she is a good daughter,so ending up with no respect at all. Being exposed to all the associated risks. Ah yes, another embittered Thai lady let down by a farang.

I guess in your world what you feel is 'moral' outweighs compassion and thoughtfulness..

Means 30 years of age gap. SHAME. I'm saying this from my point of view. If I was his daughter, I wouldn't dare to look at him straight in the eyes anymore. Do you think she is in love with the old sick guy? awww... I think Im gonna cry.

Not the same situation of course, but read the other day about marriages that survive the odds. One began when an 18 year old american women began dating a 41 year old divorced guy. 8 years later and a couple of kids, they are as happy as ever, and the man gets along very well with the girls parents. Also, noticed that Catherine Zeta-Jones is about 24 years younger than Michael Douglas, You have a problem with that?

Not necessarily, no, nor with relationships with age gap that are based on true and loving relationships. Did either of these examples involve what the OP is talking about? I don't think so......do you have a problem with that?

[beechguy]

sorry i forgot to mention she is 22

Shame on you. You could be her father. Don't you have any self respect at all? what does your own children think about this?

and honestly.... Do you think she is with you because what? uh? get a nurse, have a bit of respect for your self, if not for your family, I would be TOTALLY embarrassed if you were my father. "Yes, yes.. take me to Australia, I take care of you for a short while take all the money I can, while I look for a real guy in falangland" ha!

Pop corn go back and read the opening post.....

They have lived together for 12 months...

'She has offered to take care of me'....

'She shows me respect'

The OP is fully aware of the financial aspects

The girl is fully aware he has a progressive degenerative illness

She is 22 not 16..... read...'she has offered to take care of me'

or would you have the OP dissappoint her... dash her hopes...and leave her to the sex industry where she may have to go with many father figues in one night, just to provide 6k a month for her family to feel she is a good daughter,so ending up with no respect at all. Being exposed to all the associated risks. Ah yes, another embittered Thai lady let down by a farang.

I guess in your world what you feel is 'moral' outweighs compassion and thoughtfulness..

Means 30 years of age gap. SHAME. I'm saying this from my point of view. If I was his daughter, I wouldn't dare to look at him straight in the eyes anymore. Do you think she is in love with the old sick guy? awww... I think Im gonna cry.

Not the same situation of course, but read the other day about marriages that survive the odds. One began when an 18 year old american women began dating a 41 year old divorced guy. 8 years later and a couple of kids, they are as happy as ever, and the man gets along very well with the girls parents. Also, noticed that Catherine Zeta-Jones is about 24 years younger than Michael Douglas, You have a problem with that?

Not necessarily, no, nor with relationships with age gap that are based on true and loving relationships. Did either of these examples involve what the OP is talking about? I don't think so......do you have a problem with that?

Fair enough, but my response was more toward the other post by pop-corn. Just trying to determine if the the age difference was the only sticking point, or something else. I'm generally a live and let live kind of guy. So, as long as they are both satisfied with their relationship, I don't see a problem, but that's for them to decide. I do have problems with judgemental people though.

Edited February 8, 2009 by beechguy

[neverdie]

sorry i forgot to mention she is 22

Shame on you. You could be her father. Don't you have any self respect at all? what does your own children think about this?

and honestly.... Do you think she is with you because what? uh? get a nurse, have a bit of respect for your self, if not for your family, I would be TOTALLY embarrassed if you were my father. "Yes, yes.. take me to Australia, I take care of you for a short while take all the money I can, while I look for a real guy in falangland" ha!

Pop corn go back and read the opening post.....

They have lived together for 12 months...

'She has offered to take care of me'....

'She shows me respect'

The OP is fully aware of the financial aspects

The girl is fully aware he has a progressive degenerative illness

She is 22 not 16..... read...'she has offered to take care of me'

or would you have the OP dissappoint her... dash her hopes...and leave her to the sex industry where she may have to go with many father figues in one night, just to provide 6k a month for her family to feel she is a good daughter,so ending up with no respect at all. Being exposed to all the associated risks. Ah yes, another embittered Thai lady let down by a farang.

I guess in your world what you feel is 'moral' outweighs compassion and thoughtfulness..

Means 30 years of age gap. SHAME. I'm saying this from my point of view. If I was his daughter, I wouldn't dare to look at him straight in the eyes anymore. Do you think she is in love with the old sick guy? awww... I think Im gonna cry.

Not the same situation of course, but read the other day about marriages that survive the odds. One began when an 18 year old american women began dating a 41 year old divorced guy. 8 years later and a couple of kids, they are as happy as ever, and the man gets along very well with the girls parents. Also, noticed that Catherine Zeta-Jones is about 24 years younger than Michael Douglas, You have a problem with that?

Not necessarily, no, nor with relationships with age gap that are based on true and loving relationships. Did either of these examples involve what the OP is talking about? I don't think so......do you have a problem with that?

Fair enough, but my response was more toward the other post. Just trying to determine if the the age difference was the only sticking point, or something else. I'm generally a live and let live kind of guy. So, as long as they are both satisfied with their relationship, I don't see a problem, but that's for them to decide. He did ask for opinions though.

Yes, he did ask for opinions beachguy, so I am assuming thats the reason you wisely decided to edit this last post.

[canadianmonkey]

sorry i forgot to mention she is 22

Shame on you. You could be her father. Don't you have any self respect at all? what does your own children think about this?

and honestly.... Do you think she is with you because what? uh? get a nurse, have a bit of respect for your self, if not for your family, I would be TOTALLY embarrassed if you were my father. "Yes, yes.. take me to Australia, I take care of you for a short while take all the money I can, while I look for a real guy in falangland" ha!

You realise that his brains are dying? He will be a useless piece of organs in a couple years and you want him to spend those years alone?

Usually im appalled by all the disgusting sex tourists and Sexpats.. But this one seems fine. It seems like his 'girlfriend's enjoys his company more than the average fat old bastard and his bar girl.

She only has to help this old dying guy for 2-5years to be able to substain her family forever. by the time he's completely gone, shE'll drop him in a nursery and keep going on with her life at around 25.. nothing wrong with that, much less worse than going in the army or whatever, also its not like they're gonna have crazy monkey sex all the time...

[Hawkup2000]

Both of you seems ok with the age difference, so I don't understand why other should care about it. I personally think that 6000 Baht is a low and honest sum. You have been living with her and from what you have written she seem to be quiet low maintenance. If you explain everything for all parts involved (your girlfriend, kids ect) and made the terms clear what can you lose?

[beechguy]

Not necessarily, no, nor with relationships with age gap that are based on true and loving relationships. Did either of these examples involve what the OP is talking about? I don't think so......do you have a problem with that?

Fair enough, but my response was more toward the other post. Just trying to determine if the the age difference was the only sticking point, or something else. I'm generally a live and let live kind of guy. So, as long as they are both satisfied with their relationship, I don't see a problem, but that's for them to decide. He did ask for opinions though.

Yes, he did ask for opinions beachguy, so I am assuming thats the reason you wisely decided to edit this last post.

I just edited to try to prevent a misunderstanding. I have problems with judgemental people, but that wasn't directed toward you neverdie.

Edited February 8, 2009 by beechguy

[neverdie]

Beechguy,

I appreciate you saying that. The guy came in asking about how good is his lady and should he marry her. Sort of thing I wouldnt ask a group of strangers over the net, but thats up to him.

Irregardless of whether or not they marry, she probably wont get a visa.

If he had come in here posting about his health condition & asking for comment on it, I don't think anyone would have wanted to be critical about the poor man. He finds himself in a very unfortunate situation, my heart goes out to him. Hopefully he makes the right decisions & doesnt make matters worse for himself. If I was a religious man I would go to church and pray for him, nobody sane wants to see anybody suffer.

Only he really knows what the right answer is, hes the one that knows exactly what is going on, he's probably aware of the stories where people have been burnt.

[thedi]

I met my girlfriend in Bangkok ...what would you do ?

I would probably do the same as you did: ask for advice in thaivisa.com

[BygonKeaw]

this is a genuine post not a troll why is it so hard to believe .

I am using this forum for some intelligent comments and saying its a troll with no evidence are not helping me.

Ok so your not trolling but this is a real thing in your life?

Please mate no one can be that stupid can they???

I really cant believe how a human being is being so stupid? what have u been doing for the past 30 years or more?

Clueless if your story is true

[henryalleman]

IMHO you are a very selfish man if you put this kind of burden to an 22 year old.

I had a friend (25 years old) who have MS he was looking for a wife, sorry nurse. He succeeded to find a Russian bride from Kyrgyzstan, 3 months later she left him, but he didn't give up and find a new one in Turkey, that affair lasted 4 weeks.

So what are you looking for exactly? Should be honest with yourself, and if you are, you know the answer already. And you should act accordingly if you are a decent man.

[dudeyone]

Go for it dude. Leave her something financially, just not everything. It's a fair trade in my view and even if the agreement is purely financial, it's good to have some companionship. If I was in your position, I would love to have a nice girl look after me and just take it easy. It's not like you're giving a huge sum or anything away. Good luck.

[sassienie]

To the OP:

Look, you are 52 years old and should have plenty of worldly experience by now.

I’m only a little older than you and this is my opinion:

The girl is looking for a short route to gaining financial security.

These people are not intelligent, but as Sharpe as a shithouse rat, sure you know what I mean.

She is fully aware of your health problems and perhaps believes you may kick the bucket and leave her your assets.

You have enough to deal with combating your health problems, so why take on added responsibility and burdens?

It’s up to you, but put your needs first as no one else will.

[yabaaaa]

Not that I believe for a moment this isn't a troll- but just fyi, no single person- not even a professional nurse- can provide 24 hr care perpetually and remain a functional human being.

Good point...ask if she has a friend.

/Sister, Thais have large families Ive been told

[GungaDin]

this is a genuine post not a troll why is it so hard to believe .

I am using this forum for some intelligent comments and saying its a troll with no evidence are not helping me.

Ok so your not trolling but this is a real thing in your life?

Please mate no one can be that stupid can they???

I really cant believe how a human being is being so stupid? what have u been doing for the past 30 years or more?

Clueless if your story is true

OP, ignore this banker. He's rarely got a good word to say about anything.

[pop_corn]

I will not answer all the posts one by one, because is just a waste of time. Why? Because I bet MANY of you here are in the same boat. To my consideration, when you are in a age where you are about to consider your self a "senior" and date a girl who is a little bit more than a "teenager" YOU ARE TOTALLY SICK. So, yeah.. He still have a brain that works, it may sound quite hard to hear this, but I think he should use it while he can, and think about it.

Now.. all of you, yeah... hate me, reply to me or whatever, I totally don't care, it doesn't change the fact that you all very much know inside. YOU ARE PAYING FOR SOMEONE TO BE WITH YOU. and thats it. how sad..

Last post here, enough of attention to the seniors... ha!

*waves*

[canadianmonkey]

I will not answer all the posts one by one, because is just a waste of time. Why? Because I bet MANY of you here are in the same boat. To my consideration, when you are in a age where you are about to consider your self a "senior" and date a girl who is a little bit more than a "teenager" YOU ARE TOTALLY SICK. So, yeah.. He still have a brain that works, it may sound quite hard to hear this, but I think he should use it while he can, and think about it.

Now.. all of you, yeah... hate me, reply to me or whatever, I totally don't care, it doesn't change the fact that you all very much know inside. YOU ARE PAYING FOR SOMEONE TO BE WITH YOU. and thats it. how sad..

Last post here, enough of attention to the seniors... ha!

*waves*

Yes good job, you criticize people paying to be accompanied.. When this forum is run by them and all your e-buddies are doing the same.

[Gary A]

I have a long story that I'm too lazy to write so I'll shorten it up as much as I can. A friend of mine came to me and asked if I knew anyone who would be willing to play nurse to an old man in a wheelchair. It happened that I did and we arranged a meeting for the next day. The old man was a big guy and very crotchety. The reason he was in Bangkok was because his family didn't know what to do with him. He was thrown out of a number of nursing homes in his home country and insisted that he wanted to go to Thailand. A younger friend of his told his family that he would take him to Thailand and see to it that a suitable nurse was found. So the story starts.

The girls biggest problem was helping him to go to the toilet and helping him shower because he was so big and heavy. She managed to come up with ways to get that done. After a couple of months the old man wanted to move to Jomtien because he could rent a nicer place for less money and so he could get out more. A few months after the move I spotted him out of his wheelchair and hobbling down a Jomtien soi. With his nurse and a cane, he was actually moving right along. He was grinning. A couple of months after that I saw him with his cane walking alone. I don't speak his language so couldn't talk to him other than to say hello and how are you.

A couple of days later I saw his nurse by herself. I asked her about the old man and she started to cry. I immediately thought the old man died, but no, that wasn't the case. He told the girl that he wanted to see different girls and that he wanted to butterfly. To butterfly were her words. She had saved up some money so other than looking for another job she was fine.

I never saw the old man again after that but there was a happy ending for her. She could now speak that Scandinavian language of his pretty well and one of the old man's much younger friends had fallen in love with her and married her. They now have a lovely daughter. As far as I know the old man is still being a butterfly. I still see her from time to time and she is still in Jomtien doing very well.

The point of this story is that the young lady ended up with the short end of the stick. I'm glad she was able to end up happy. I might add that she was paid quite well while she took care of him.

[caulfield2]

I think you have to turn this situation around and try to look at from her perspective...

Imagine you were 22 years old again, right out of college but with lots of student loans to pay off, and credit cards to keep up with.

You're in Australia and a 52 year old Asian woman comes to your country to seek out better health care and/or a long-term nurse/helper/aide. This woman is obviously declining in condition...and you're young, sprightly and feel like you should be having fun every night with your mates, going bar-hopping...travelling, seeing the world.

Can you for even a second imagine that you would want to take care of her? Realistically? Can you imagine that your relationship could be about anything BUT money? Could you imagine how happy/grateful/overjoyed you'd feel after you could get rid of this responsibility and move on with your life? Could you imagine being happy (long-term) making roughly minimum wage for the "priviledge" of taking care of her? Why is it okay to ask something out of someone else that you wouldn't do yourself?

This isn't about lack of sympathy/empathy. If a family member was in your condition (or future condition), it would be taken care of, no questions asked. My mom is going to be 80 and I would leave Thailand in a heartbeat to take care of her to the best of my abilities, even though I'm not a trained caregiver and/or mental health practitioner.

I feel sorry that it doesn't seem your family has shown much willingness to help you out...maybe you believe you are in love with her and have the fantasy her "care" has grown or evolved into more for you...but I don't think you should take advantage of her poverty or lack of education, either. You never mentioned why hiring a nurse (Thai or Aussie) wasn't possible. Money?

Well, at least do this...if you're going to continue in this situation, the very LEAST you should do is also send her to school and/or teach her English or something practical (see the story before about the woman who learned a Nordic language and was able to apply it to her benefit) that will help her family both in the short and long-term, something that will be sustainable.

Edited February 8, 2009 by caulfield2

[patklang]

You can get a nurse for about 8,000 a month 24/7 and maybe the odd bj thrownin when you still have power,but dont burden a young woman who might marry you and feed you to the pigs up country

[beechguy]

IMHO you are a very selfish man if you put this kind of burden to an 22 year old.

I had a friend (25 years old) who have MS he was looking for a wife, sorry nurse. He succeeded to find a Russian bride from Kyrgyzstan, 3 months later she left him, but he didn't give up and find a new one in Turkey, that affair lasted 4 weeks.

So what are you looking for exactly? Should be honest with yourself, and if you are, you know the answer already. And you should act accordingly if you are a decent man.

The age difference seems to be an issue, but that was one of my thoughts, is it really fair to ask someone to take on that kind of responsibility.