Buddhist Forgiveness/cleansing Question

[LHall]

I am getting along great with my 41 year old Thai girlfriend. She is an extremely loving and caring lady. But like some single mothers, she's made career choices to support her family that go against her culture and better moral upbringing. (Need we say more?)

We like each other very much and I am willing to support her family. I did it once with three girls to University grads, I'm willing to do it again. But my girlfriend's past sometimes bothers her. There are a few times when she has asked "Why You Love Me? I'm a Bad Girl!" I don't see this as a warning as much as "Why would anyone still love me when I'm culturally trashy."

If this was the United States, and my girl was a back sliding Baptist, the answer would be simple. Go to the Billy Graham Crusade, listen to the sermon, then walk up to the front at the end while the choir sings and the busses wait. 15 minutes later, she could confess all sins and know that she's now born again -- a new person with a clean slate. No more guilt!

"Me no bad girl no more!"

All that background for a simple question: is there any equivalent ceremony a "bad bad girl" can perform within a Thai culture that is similar to a born again Christian experience?

If so, please let me know and I'll sign her up for the program!

Edited February 13, 2009 by LHall

[sleepyjohn]

I don't know about Thailand but your wife might follow the example of the Chinese Xu Yun (Empty Cloud), who lived to 120.

He wanted to make amends for running away from his parents to a monastery.

He did a trek across the country prostrating and knocking head every third step.

If that's not enough for your wife Xu Yun also meditated motionless for so many days (sorry can't remember exactly) that he went blind and lame for quite some time.

I guess it all made him feel better as he eventually became liberated.

If that doesn't sort your wife out nothing will.

[fabianfred]

Best to remember that all of us have done wrong in the past...if not this life then previous ones..

Read the story of Sirima ...who was a prostitute in the Buddha's time...and eventually became an Stream-enterer in the same lifetime.

http://www.yogamag.net/archives/1982/emay82/story582.shtml

http://www.accesstoinsight.org/tipitaka/kn....1.16.irel.html

Edited February 13, 2009 by fabianfred

[Pakeha]

She could become a Nun for a period of time. My GF tells me if she becomes a Nun before we get married that will give a good life / good luck to her parents. If she becomes a Nun after we get married (yes I raised my eyebrows also ) that will give a good life / good luck to me

Needless to say she has decided to do it before we get married... it seems I'm already lucky enough to have her. And I do believe your GF is very lucky to have you, and no doubt you to have her.

I would encourage your GF to read / learn more about real buddhism - i.e. the teachings of the Buddha (as opposed to a lot of the other beliefs that aren't strictly buddhist in their essence). The point is that we have all done bad deeds and we can not escape these. But we can go forward doing good deeds and living a good life and this will shape our future.

You obviously love your GF for who she is now and who she will be and what she will do in the future. I think this is the most important thing you can emphasise to her. I'm sure there would be some skeletons in your closet if you really wanted to get into it (wouldn't recommend it though ).

So to answer your question - I don't know if there's a specific ceremony but 'merit making' takes place around the clock. A short stint as a Nun may make her feel better about herself although this isn't the purpose of it. She could do it to direct her merit at her parents and / or you.

Good on you LHall. I have great respect for people that can look beyond others past deeds and love them for their current being and future potential.

Edited February 13, 2009 by byoung2

[IMA_FARANG]

I am getting along great with my 41 year old Thai girlfriend. She is an extremely loving and caring lady. But like some single mothers, she's made career choices to support her family that go against her culture and better moral upbringing. (Need we say more?)

We like each other very much and I am willing to support her family. I did it once with three girls to University grads, I'm willing to do it again. But my girlfriend's past sometimes bothers her. There are a few times when she has asked "Why You Love Me? I'm a Bad Girl!" I don't see this as a warning as much as "Why would anyone still love me when I'm culturally trashy."

If this was the United States, and my girl was a back sliding Baptist, the answer would be simple. Go to the Billy Graham Crusade, listen to the sermon, then walk up to the front at the end while the choir sings and the busses wait. 15 minutes later, she could confess all sins and know that she's now born again -- a new person with a clean slate. No more guilt!

"Me no bad girl no more!"

All that background for a simple question: is there any equivalent ceremony a "bad bad girl" can perform within a Thai culture that is similar to a born again Christian experience?

If so, please let me know and I'll sign her up for the program!

If she chooses she can talk to a monk. She can do what they call "taking refuge in the triple gem". In essence she is pledging her adherence to certain Buddhist beliefs/tenets and just making public her faith or belief in the adherence to these beliefs. The monk will know what to do. Basically there is just a short ceremony where she acknowledges her belief and she is ritually (if that is the correct word) cleansed. It is done often, my Thai girlfriend has done it several times.

Have her talk to a monk if she feels that something like this is what she wants.

P.S. I understand what you mean about "previous life choices" that had to be made. I've been there too.

Edited February 14, 2009 by IMA_FARANG